r/relationships: he's just soggy moldy baby carrot

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: he's just soggy moldy baby carrot

duck trucker: Oct 14, 2017; YOSPOS

Even if both parties are happy with a clear-cut "I drive, you clean" arrangement, they both should have drivers licenses/knowledge of the cleaning needed in order to pick up the slack if the other person is out of commission for awhile IMO

# ? Apr 26, 2024 18:55

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 20:17

sullat: Jan 9, 2012

Hughlander posted:

AITAH - My friend keeps on talking about my ex in front of my fianc�e

"Oh how selfish I was for..." <checks notes> "Getting a PhD so I could get a great job!"

Update - 23 days later

If you realized it was racism from the moment the fiancee was named, you win a prize! But I just love Lisa being like, "Well now that you're done studying and are rich, I guess we can pick up where things left off since neither of us found anything better!"

What do I care for your suffering? Pain, even agony, is no more than information before the senses, data fed to the computer of the mind. The lesson is simple: you have received the information, now act on it. Take control of the input and you shall become master of the output.

# ? Apr 26, 2024 19:02

Magic Hate Ball: May 6, 2007; ha ha ha!
you've already paid for this

Quackles posted:

AITA for not Saying "Yes Sir" to my Manager?

strictly speaking nta but lol at this person for being a slobbering little willy loman at a dead-end AMC job

# ? Apr 26, 2024 19:03

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

(deleted because I completely misread the conversation)

Arsenic Lupin fucked around with this message at 19:10 on Apr 26, 2024

# ? Apr 26, 2024 19:06

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Arsenic Lupin posted:

Who says it's the easiest task in the world? Not me. I do drive, but I prefer my husband to do it, because:

I can't keep my concentration on driving. I keep thinking about other things.

I have anxiety about doing it wrong and causing a crash

I worry about other drivers being angry at me.

I'm bad at judging when it's safe to make a turn into traffic, so I wait for large openings and the drivers behind me get mad. Or I misjudge an opening, and the driver I turn in front of is mad.

Glad driving is easy for you. It isn't for me.

I think you need to reread the post and the response.

# ? Apr 26, 2024 19:08

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

yeah uh, OP herself did

quote:

I have no frame of reference, but I suspect that he overstates the difficulty of driving � I don�t think it�s as hard as doing the kids� laundry or cleaning the house (two of the chores I do most of the time). I also think that the two regular things he does the majority of � cooking and driving � are things that he enjoys doing, whereas nobody likes vacuuming or laundry.

I suspect this is some high-level denial thinking bc if she admitted that driving is hard then she has to admit she's been leaving an incredibly laborious job to her partner and feel guilt for not being able to do it. If it's something that's 'easy for him', then she doesn't need to feel bad that she's leaving it on his plate.

# ? Apr 26, 2024 19:09

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Shanghaied posted:

Edit: also please gently caress off with the "if you derive any kind of satisfaction what-so-ever from doing a chore, then it's not a chore, and therefore should do more chores." Oh you worked 70 hours this week, but no see you said that you like your job, so really you didn't work at all. No, gently caress off!

That poo poo is seriously obnoxious. I do all the cooking in my family; I enjoy cooking, pride myself on improving my skills, and am genuinely pleased to provide my wife and children with tasty, nutritious meals.

And some days I'm just like gently caress THIS. I don't wanna. I'm tired. I'm sick. I got bad news, or had a long day. We're ordering pizza. Labor is labor, satisfaction or no.

# ? Apr 26, 2024 19:09

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

Pope Corky the IX posted:

I think you need to reread the post and the response.

You're right, I completely misread. Deleting.

# ? Apr 26, 2024 19:09

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Magic Hate Ball posted:

strictly speaking nta but lol at this person for being a slobbering little willy loman at a dead-end AMC job

I usually lol if they look down on their coworkers that don't do extra (for no pay) but it sounds like OP made life better for their coworkers with their efforts.

# ? Apr 26, 2024 19:15

The Bramble: Mar 16, 2004

How many times has some complete fool in one of these stories tried to justify why they can�t or won�t contribute more to some household chore because their partner is �so good at it!� I don�t have much sympathy for that woman.

# ? Apr 26, 2024 19:16

Farg: Nov 19, 2013

also driving is easy

# ? Apr 26, 2024 19:19

Ominous Jazz: Jun 15, 2011; Big D is chillin' over here
Wasteland style

Quackles posted:

AITA for not Saying "Yes Sir" to my Manager?

mussolini management style somehow always stays in fashion.

# ? Apr 26, 2024 19:19

kdrudy: Sep 19, 2009

Quackles posted:

AITA for not Saying "Yes Sir" to my Manager?

Amusing story, but in no world would any reasonable person think you're an rear end in a top hat.

# ? Apr 26, 2024 19:29

sullat: Jan 9, 2012

kdrudy posted:

Amusing story, but in no world would any reasonable person think you're an rear end in a top hat.

Unless it happens to be a military movie theater or the middle manager has paid �1,095 to the king for a baronetcy.

# ? Apr 26, 2024 19:32

Juul-Whip: Mar 10, 2008

deety posted:

This post is low stakes, but the reactions to it are weird.

AITA? Standing up at a concert

OP explains that she specifically got tickets for an area where people usually dance, that nobody's been bothered by it before, and that most of the people there were also already standing. But the comments section is full of folks lining up to lecture her about how she's the rear end in a top hat because everyone should always sit if there are seats. And... Really?

Yeah, different concerts have different vibes, but I've been to far more arena shows where people danced in the close seats than ones where everybody sat the whole time. But even if you think that OP is the problem for going with the flow of the crowd and the usual standards of that venue, that doesn't make her the same level of rear end in a top hat as a man who cursed at and put his hands on her because he didn't like her behavior.

standing is ableist

# ? Apr 26, 2024 19:37

Elfface: Nov 14, 2010; Da-na-na-na-na-na-na
IRON JONAH

Quackles posted:

Little bit of context about me, and my job. I've worked at a movie theater for 4 years, and love it. I always come in, and try to go above, and beyond. My managers have taking notice, and have been giving me a lot more responsibilities. Now it's not a promotion, and it doesn't increase my pay, but I know how this works.

No you don't. Evidence: A new general manager was brought in from out of state, not promoted from among the workers.

# ? Apr 26, 2024 19:50

Farmer Crack-Ass: Jan 2, 2001; this is me posting irl

okay so if the not-driving lady tried and found through experience that she actually genuinely sucks at driving and should absolutely not be on the road, what would be the equitable way to divide labor in that household

# ? Apr 26, 2024 19:57

mystes: May 31, 2006

Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

okay so if the not-driving lady tried and found through experience that she actually genuinely sucks at driving and should absolutely not be on the road, what would be the equitable way to divide labor in that household

they would have to work that out and there isn't really enough information in the post to determine how much they're each actually doing

Given that she was taking driving lessons before and it doesn't sound like they were totally unsuccessful, just interrupted by having the second kid, I think she should also probably compromise by agreeing to try driving lessons again. She probably doesn't have to be the world's best driver to just sometimes take over short local trips to places that she's gone before. That's much easier than driving long distances to new places or whatever. Maybe she won't be able to do it but it's at least worth trying.

Although if they're busy it might be hard to find the time for that.

mystes fucked around with this message at 20:03 on Apr 26, 2024

# ? Apr 26, 2024 19:58

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

Quackles posted:

AITA for not Saying "Yes Sir" to my Manager?

quote:

My managers have taking notice, and have been giving me a lot more responsibilities. Now it's not a promotion, and it doesn't increase my pay, but I know how this works. You start from the bottom, and you work your way up.

lmao

# ? Apr 26, 2024 20:23

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Elfface posted:

No you don't. Evidence: A new general manager was brought in from out of state, not promoted from among the workers.

Counterpoint:

quote:

I also put in a lot of work with a bunch of my coworkers over a month long period to perfect a system that would help everyone out, and would make everything nice and organized. We put it all together in a document, and went to my GM with it. He took it to corporate, and they gave us the all clear.

He obviously knows what he's doing but the temp manager came in & had to gently caress it all up trying to be a controlling tyrant rear end in a top hat. He also made an employee cry so he can go gently caress himself with rusty razor wire. Guarantee he's being a big pissbaby because he knows his bullshit attitude is about to get his theater shut down.

# ? Apr 26, 2024 20:24

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

He may know his job well enough, but he's completely clueless when it comes to his own prospects as a service worker in corporate America, which was the point being made.

# ? Apr 26, 2024 20:44

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

The Maroon Hawk posted:

lmao

I wonder how many more times OP will see people promoted ahead of him before he finally figures it out?

# ? Apr 26, 2024 20:48

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

FMguru posted:

I wonder how many more times OP will see people promoted ahead of him before he finally figures it out?

quote:

Yeah I know what you mean. Considering how they promote people here I feel like they won't screw me over. I'm technically the only person interviewing for the open Supervisor spot that's coming up soon. I'm not holding my breath tbh, but we will see.

A couple more times at least

# ? Apr 26, 2024 20:49

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

okay so if the not-driving lady tried and found through experience that she actually genuinely sucks at driving and should absolutely not be on the road, what would be the equitable way to divide labor in that household

thats up for them to work out, but I think dismissing how much labor her partner is doing when he is straight telling her it's overwhelming for him issssss not the way to go about it. he clearly thought she was one day going to be able to drive and even did the move to the suburbs predicated on the understanding she would one day be able to drive. and maybe she was actually going to do it at first, but now it's been so long she seems like has decided she's just not going to. the first hurdle is them working through that, because he's probably rightly resentful that she agreed to make a change in her life and then just...didn't, and she hoped they'd fall into a normal routine of him being the driver with no complaints.

a partner promising they'll make a life change then deciding it's too hard and just hoping you'll forget they made the promise and not bring it up anymore is something that understandably stresses out a relationship. how can you trust that anything they say is something they mean and not just something to calm you down until they hope you forget about it?

StrangersInTheNight fucked around with this message at 21:02 on Apr 26, 2024

# ? Apr 26, 2024 20:59

edgeman83: Jul 13, 2003

Edit: After thinking a bit more, there are some possibly unfunny undertones so I am removing it.

edgeman83 fucked around with this message at 21:20 on Apr 26, 2024

# ? Apr 26, 2024 21:14

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

That's pretty hosed up

# ? Apr 26, 2024 21:19

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

AITA for not revealing that I speak Chinese?

quote:

So I'm a grad student at the moment, and I run tutorials as part of my TA duties. Essentially the tutorials consist of two parts: a 10 minute presentation where I review what the students learned in lectures in the previous week, and then 45 minutes of problem solving, where they're set some work to do and I offer help if they need it.

Now I generally encourage students to work together, so I have no problem with people talking as they work as long as they don't disrupt other people. There are about 20 students in the group, split into 5 tables of 4, and I sort of wander between them to see if they need assistance. One of the groups in my class this semester is made up of Chinese international students, who generally speak Chinese to each other, even in class.

Now for some background. I'm Chinese myself, but I'm a second gen immigrant with an English first name. I speak Chinese perfectly well, but I've inherited my parents' accent (they come from a village in rural South China), which makes me sound like the Chinese equivalent of a red neck. I've been bullied for it in the past so I generally stick to English where possible. As a result, the students were not aware that I understand Chinese (according to my grandpa, it's a stereotype that 2nd gen immigrants speak Chinese poorly or not at all).

Anyway, I was walking around at the end of class a few weeks back when I hear one of the Chinese students poo poo-talking me. She was on the phone and said a bunch of fairly insulting things about the class, my teaching ability and my dress sense. I waited for her to stop, then said, in Chinese, "You know it's quite rude to insult people where they can hear you."

She went completely white, stammered out an apology about not realizing that I understood her, and ran from the class. I thought it was hilarious at the time, and told this story to some of my friends. Most of them thought it was pretty funny, but one of them said that I shouldn't have been so harsh. She thinks I should have either interrupted her while she was still talking rather than waiting for the end, or pulled her aside after class to avoid embarrassing her in front of everyone.

I pointed out that the girl had insulted me first, and was simply facing consequences. At the time I felt completely in the right. However, she's not been in class since, and I'm wondering if I was too harsh? There's no credit for attendance, so there's no direct consequences for missing the tutorials, but it's coming up to exams and missing the revision sessions is quite bad.

tl;dr embarrassed a girl in my class by pointing out that I understood her insulting me. She's not come to my class since. AITA?

# ? Apr 26, 2024 21:41

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

quote:

Anyway, I was walking around at the end of class a few weeks back when I hear one of the Chinese students poo poo-talking me. She was on the phone and said a bunch of fairly insulting things about the class, my teaching ability and my dress sense. I waited for her to stop, then said, in Chinese, "You know it's quite rude to insult people where they can hear you."

I thought it was hilarious at the time, and told this story to some of my friends. Most of them thought it was pretty funny, but one of them said that I shouldn't have been so harsh.

You shouldn't have called out her lovely behaviour in the mildest possible way

# ? Apr 26, 2024 21:43

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Quackles posted:

Hella.

( )

AITA for not Saying "Yes Sir" to my Manager?

Calling your boss "sir" is some servile anglo thing right? Lmfao

# ? Apr 26, 2024 21:53

Farmer Crack-Ass: Jan 2, 2001; this is me posting irl

pfffffffft lol "you let someone make an rear end out of themselves, that's so harsh!!"

yeah okay whatever :jerkbag:

# ? Apr 26, 2024 21:55

oh jay: Oct 15, 2012

Biplane posted:

Calling your boss "sir" is some servile anglo thing right? Lmfao

I demand all my subordinates to reply Yes Chef even though this isn't a restaurant.

# ? Apr 26, 2024 21:55

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

oh jay posted:

I demand all my subordinates to reply Yes Chef even though this isn't a restaurant.

as is your right, as Lord

# ? Apr 26, 2024 21:59

wheatpuppy: Apr 25, 2008; YOU HAVE MY POST!

oh jay posted:

I demand all my subordinates to reply Yes Chef even though this isn't a restaurant.

I yell "hot behind!" whenever I walk past the queue at Starbucks with my fresh coffee.

People get real mad for some reason.

# ? Apr 26, 2024 22:01

idiotsavant: Jun 4, 2000

Midnight Voyager posted:

I'd be more sympathetic if she wasn't like "anyway driving is super easy compared to doing the laundry so he's fine." If it's so easy, why can't you do it, huh? Admit driving has difficulties!

I read it as more of a response to her husband complaining about having to drive all the time and wanting her to help out when a) she�s also doing a bunch of poo poo at home and b) he was the dumbass who wanted them to move to the suburbs to begin with, knowing that his wife couldn�t drive. And if she has the self-awareness to realize that she�d be a terrible driver then loving A+ good for her, I wish all the other garbage drivers on the road had even an ounce of her common sense

# ? Apr 26, 2024 22:04

Farg: Nov 19, 2013

that dumb rear end should have known his wife wouldn't fulfill her end of the bargain and learn to drive

# ? Apr 26, 2024 22:19

Kitfox88: Aug 21, 2007; Anybody lose their glasses?

wheatpuppy posted:

I yell "hot behind!" whenever I walk past the queue at Starbucks with my fresh coffee.

People get real mad for some reason.

HOT STUFF COMIN' THROUGH

# ? Apr 26, 2024 22:22

Admiral Joeslop: Jul 8, 2010

AITAH for telling my husband I’m not willing to go back to our previous arrangement

quote:

My husband (36 M) is a p*rn addict. He would rather spend hours a day watching women on screen rather than be with me.

He has a certain type he prefers. Short, skinny, with a massive rack. Meanwhile, I’m 5’9” and 145 pounds with a butt I built at the gym.

After years of being s*xually frustrated, we came to an agreement for an open marriage.

I know. Open marriages don’t work, but I’m hopeful that we would be one of the successful ones.

Recently my husband came to me and asked if we can close our marriage.

He said that his friends have been making fun of him and he feels less of a man.

I told him no, I’m not willing to go back to our previous arrangement.

He said he wanted to talk this out. I told him my requirements were: he is not allowed to look at p*rn, watch instagrams or TikToks, or read thirst trap manga.

He said that I was making unreasonable demands.

I told him take it or leave it. Otherwise I'm not willing to think about going back to our previous arrangement.

He said I wasn’t communicating, just making ultimatums to avoid being an adult. AITAH?