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maybe he could train the dog to do some of the chores, kill two birds with one stone
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May 1, 2024 16:33
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deety posted:AITA for suggesting we split chores differently? If it was like "I have to work a ton of overtime so can you temporarily take over more chores for the next week and/or would it be okay if I work extra so I won't be able to do as much housework but I'll be making a lot of extra money and we'll hire people with that to clean the house and walk the dogs so we both have less housework to do" it would be a lot more reasonable Also saying that he shouldn't have to do it because he's slow at it sounds like weaponized incompetence mystes fucked around with this message at 16:38 on May 1, 2024 |
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May 1, 2024 16:33
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His plan is to spend more time to "focus" on "dedicating himself" to "excelling"! How much more specific do you want, jeez!
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May 1, 2024 16:42
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Halloween Jack posted:I feel like if it was normal for pregnancy hormones to cause a psychotic fugue, I'd have heard about it before now. Instead, over the past few weeks I've read a bunch of Reddit stories about how it's unreasonable to expect a pregnant woman not to e.g. knock you unconscious with a cast-iron pan. i had that issue with my wife, she had this lovely habit of launching into a full on conversation somewhere in the middle of her train of though but didnt ever give me any context. it would start off with something like "so i talked to her and i think we should do it" I honestly just started with responding with whatever rediculous context i could make up " a threesome? sure but i dont think your grandma is a good idea this is a small town" fortunately we got over this hurdle before she was pregnant and she also learned to just tell me what she wanted if you ask me to get you something from the store, please specify what and what store please. we still have a pink flamingo toilet plunger because of that request and it is now a cherished family heirloom about how communication is important.
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May 1, 2024 16:42
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AITA for refusing to make a cookie table for my sons weddingquote:My son is marrying Wendy and the wedding is this summer. She is not close to her own mother for multiple reason and is pushing hard to have me fill in the gap. I am not comfortable with it at all especially with how hard she is pushing. She has multiple times overstepped boundaries such as inviting herself along, discussing very personal issues, very touchy etc…. So, here's how the cookie table would work if she would put in a tiny bit of effort - ask for a guest list with emails. Contact guests and explain the cookie table. This is a regional tradition, so most guests will probably have some familiarity with it. Some of the guests will say "I'll bring this type of cookie". You make a list and send out a reminder the week before the wedding. Then, day of, you help put cookies out for people to choose from. This MiL asked two people and said "guess it's impossible!". I'm guessing if she was doing anything else for the wedding, she would have said so.
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May 1, 2024 18:22
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There are a number of businesses which sell confectionaries for weddings. You might find it's a surprisingly common tradition.
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May 1, 2024 18:24
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Troublemaker posted:WIBTA if I named my baby the name I want to despite everyone hating it? This kind of poo poo is so loving infuriating to me. Goddamn. Just complete loving disrespect. "We're not going to refer to your child by the name you choose." Tell these parents to gently caress off. From someone in the comments: Reddit posted:My dad’s parents didn’t like my name when they were told. They made a fuss and tried to force my parents into using a nickname that had zero to do with my name. They also hated the fact that my name has no Catholic roots. This is how you handle the situation. Comply or be denied.
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May 1, 2024 18:26
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It's kind of like an Appalachian stack cake - it came from a time when people didn't have much. Each household would bring a layer of the cake (or a box of cookies, in this case) and add them to the pile. It's a way for the community to celebrate the married couple. The meaning behind the tradition is not just having cookies - it's people celebrating the couple. The cookies at the same table may range from fancy gourmet bakery cookies to a plate of Oreos. No one cares if it's a box from the grocery store instead of something someone spends hours in the kitchen assembling.
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May 1, 2024 18:28
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Bonster posted:AITA for refusing to make a cookie table for my sons wedding Otherwise pay someone to make them
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May 1, 2024 18:31
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mystes posted:The thing that's the worst about this is that even though he says he has a "plan" it doesn't seem like there's a specific thing like having to work a ton of overtime at work for the foreseeable future. It just seems like he thinks that if he doesn't have to do housework he'll magically be able to do better work and get promoted. Adulthood sucks in many ways, because we have to take care of things, do admin, pay bills. It's boring but it has to be done. But there are people who just don't want to do it, who get resentful about it. Sometimes they live alone and their house is always a mess, there's a constant trickle of unpaid bills, a car that's always broken down, and they complain about their bad luck and how other people are so unreasonable. And sometimes they live with someone and they get to be really good at being bad at cleaning, finding other things to do, or passing off duties with "I'll get to that later / I'm busy right now, can you do it / but you're so good at cleaning ..."
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May 1, 2024 18:33
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mystes posted:If they're specifically asking for the MIL to bake 1000+ cookies from scratch and she doesn't want to do it then they're the rear end in a top hat They're not. They're asking her to do what I said in the post. It's a coordinating role, not a baking role.
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May 1, 2024 18:33
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hawowanlawow posted:degen as short for degenerate just isn't working for me Haha. I must spend too much time in the seedy corners of FFXIV because I thought that was just common to use the word degen. I hear it all the fuckin time - but there it is used by people as a source of pride.
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May 1, 2024 18:33
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mystes posted:If they're specifically asking for the MIL to bake 1000+ cookies from scratch and she doesn't want to do it then they're the rear end in a top hat the wikipedia article says that it's family members so it shouldn't be JUST the MIL. It's a family effort to invite the new member in. turns out it's easy to make a thousand cookies when you have a thousand members of the family in reach. cookies stay good for weeks/months even so it doesn't all have to be at once. it's a cute bonding thing, and this MIL does NOT want to do any kind of bonding. Kind of a bummer
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May 1, 2024 18:37
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Bonster posted:They're not. They're asking her to do what I said in the post. It's a coordinating role, not a baking role.
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May 1, 2024 18:38
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Mordiceius posted:Haha. I must spend too much time in the seedy corners of FFXIV because I thought that was just common to use the word degen. I hear it all the fuckin time - but there it is used by people as a source of pride. It kinda has the same connotations as calling someone an undesirable
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May 1, 2024 18:38
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Bonster posted:AITA for refusing to make a cookie table for my sons wedding I don't like the vibe of this post if only for the tone of "my future daughter-in-law has a poor relationship with her mother and is looking to me to be a mother figure in her life but gently caress that and gently caress her!"
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May 1, 2024 18:38
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Ominous Jazz posted:the wikipedia article says that it's family members so it shouldn't be JUST the MIL. It's a family effort to invite the new member in. turns out it's easy to make a thousand cookies when you have a thousand members of the family in reach. cookies stay good for weeks/months even so it doesn't all have to be at once. it's a cute bonding thing, and this MIL does NOT want to do any kind of bonding. Kind of a bummer Or that it's okay to make the OP bake 1000 cookies because she should be grateful for being forced to bond with other family members who aren't being mentioned in the story but are assumed to exist and like baking and be eager for the opportunity to do it with OP?
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May 1, 2024 18:39
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hawowanlawow posted:degen as short for degenerate just isn't working for me isn't it literally Nazi/fascist poo poo?
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May 1, 2024 18:39
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Cookie tables are just a free-for-all thing where all the guests bring whatever cookies, even store-bought ones. If you're in like, Youngstown, Ohio you don't even have to ask anyone you just need to supply the physical table and maybe a sign that says 'This is the Cookie Table'. Source: I am unfortunately from Youngstown, Ohio
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May 1, 2024 18:41
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Mordiceius posted:I don't like the vibe of this post if only for the tone of "my future daughter-in-law has a poor relationship with her mother and is looking to me to be a mother figure in her life but gently caress that and gently caress her!" That was the vibe that I got, too.
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May 1, 2024 18:42
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Degen in the Letterkenny sense refers to gross stupid racist sexist creepy assholes.
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May 1, 2024 18:47
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Mordiceius posted:I don't like the vibe of this post if only for the tone of "my future daughter-in-law has a poor relationship with her mother and is looking to me to be a mother figure in her life but gently caress that and gently caress her!" If the fiance was asking to do it together with OP or the fiance had reason to believe that OP loved to bake or something maybe that would be a reasonable take.
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May 1, 2024 18:47
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mystes posted:Demanding that someone bake 1000-1200 cookies is not a good way to look to them to be a mother figure. you're being real cranky about this thing you don't understand she's not being asked to bake a thousand cookies she's being asked to take charge of the thousand cookie effort which isn't like a super out there wedding tradition
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May 1, 2024 18:49
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InediblePenguin posted:isn't it literally Nazi/fascist poo poo? It can be, but speaking as someone relatively on top of Nazi dogwhistles I don’t think it’s one that any of the modern fash are all that into using.
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May 1, 2024 18:50
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Ominous Jazz posted:you're being real cranky about this thing you don't understand Additionally, it's not even clear if that's what OP was being asked to do since people literally in this thread have insisted OP is supposed to do it with family members (and apparently should be grateful for that opportunity? even though OP explicitly said there's nobody in her family who is able to help her with it) If there are reasons why the task isn't actually as hard as OP thinks it is, then maybe the bride should explain that since OP has never heard of this bizarre tradition that probably 90% of people in the US are unaware of
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May 1, 2024 18:51
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I read the use of "degen" as coming from someone who probably watches letterkenny. same tone to me as "degens from upcountry wrecked the fishing shack"
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May 1, 2024 18:52
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Bonster posted:They're not. They're asking her to do what I said in the post. It's a coordinating role, not a baking role. You should read the original reddit post again. reddit posted:This is the first time hearing about this tradition and I did some research. I would have to make over a thousand cookies from scratch to feed the wedding guest.
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May 1, 2024 18:53
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lostleaf posted:You should read the original reddit post again. quote:She told me from scratch, I think she thought my daughters would be interested but they aren’t. But she basically said the mothers do this People are just going to extreme lengths to make up bizarre reasons that aren't in the actual post why this request is somehow not as obnoxious as it clearly actually is
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May 1, 2024 18:54
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lostleaf posted:You should read the original reddit post again. The entire point of the cookie table is that family and guests bring the cookies, so that you have an entire display of various cookies. It's like a buffet of cookies.
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May 1, 2024 18:54
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lostleaf posted:You should read the original reddit post again. she didn't research hard enough because the first google result is explaining that it's not a one person affair
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May 1, 2024 18:54
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Steve Vader posted:Degen in the Letterkenny sense refers to gross stupid racist sexist creepy assholes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3blhnwtq2U
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May 1, 2024 18:54
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Saint Freak posted:The entire point of the cookie table is that family and guests bring the cookies, so that you have an entire display of various cookies. It's like a buffet of cookies. quote:She told me from scratch, I think she thought my daughters would be interested but they aren’t. But she basically said the mothers do this
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May 1, 2024 18:55
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Could be that OP didnt understand either and thought she would have to bake 1000 cookies, and definitely doesn't want to - so maybe part of this whole thing is a misunderstanding, and since the DIL has also been breaking boundaries OP is not willing to give her the benefit of the doubt to work it out. Or maybe DIL misunderstood the tradition and is pushing too much on OP. Since it's so regional it sounds like misunderstandings from people not familiar abound. StrangersInTheNight fucked around with this message at 18:58 on May 1, 2024 |
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May 1, 2024 18:55
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mystes posted:Demanding that someone bake 1000-1200 cookies is not really a good way to build a relationship with them as a mother figure imo. The cookie table is a separate issue. I was more speaking to this part: quote:She is not close to her own mother for multiple reason and is pushing hard to have me fill in the gap. I am not comfortable with it at all especially with how hard she is pushing. She has multiple times overstepped boundaries such as inviting herself along, discussing very personal issues, very touchy etc…. It just reads like "my future DIL is trying to be close to me and I do not want to be close to her" Wow! She tried to open up to you and be vulnerable around you. How completely monstrous of her.
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May 1, 2024 18:56
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StrangersInTheNight posted:It sounds like she didn't understand either and thought she would have to bake 1000 cookies, and definitely doesn't want to - so maybe part of this whole thing is a misunderstanding, and since the DIL has also been breaking boundaries OP is not willing to give her the benefit of the doubt to work it out. quote:She told me from scratch, I think she thought my daughters would be interested but they aren’t. But she basically said the mothers do this quote:Did DIL tell me the number: Yes she stated 1000-1200 Why are you all making up reasons to be mad at OP that directly contradict what she has clearly stated? Mordiceius posted:The cookie table is a separate issue. I was more speaking to this part:
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May 1, 2024 18:57
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I'm not? I added more to my post to clarify, I was saying it sounds like there's a misunderstanding somewhere in there about the tradition itself, either by OP or the DIL. And DIL is already in a situation where she hasn't been very respectful in the past.
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May 1, 2024 18:59
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mystes posted:Again, it would be fine if she wanted to bake cookies with OP. Demanding cookies is not "opening up" or trying to establish a relationship with OP. These takes are just completely bizarre. Read my post again. I am not talking about the cookie table at all. I am talking about the literal first lines of her post. Before she discusses the cookie table.
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May 1, 2024 19:00
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mailorder bees posted:I read the use of "degen" as coming from someone who probably watches letterkenny. same tone to me as "degens from upcountry wrecked the fishing shack" this is of what it made me think
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May 1, 2024 19:02
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I can't believe people are having an argument about cookies and it's not even a fun one, like whether double chocolate chip is better than triple chocolate chip.
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May 1, 2024 19:05
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ApplesandOranges posted:I can't believe people are having an argument about cookies and it's not even a fun one, like whether double chocolate chip is better than triple chocolate chip. Triple. Every time.
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May 1, 2024 19:06
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