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emSparkly posted:George switches to Linux, struggles to complete mundane tasks on his computer, and gradually trashes his system while insisting to everyone it’s better than being forced to use windows. It's the Summer of Linux Desktop!
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# ? May 1, 2024 18:18 |
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# ? May 24, 2024 14:27 |
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IT'S LINUX JERRY!!!
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# ? May 1, 2024 18:19 |
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Elaine works for a mercurial tech bro and is a hairs breadth away from being fired.
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# ? May 1, 2024 23:02 |
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shes 17, yada yada
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# ? May 1, 2024 23:54 |
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Instead of a sitcom, the show is now a phone-based capture & trade game.
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# ? May 2, 2024 00:31 |
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Jerry shows up to picket for the writers strike 6 months after it was settled
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# ? May 2, 2024 00:37 |
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peterman brings elaine to epsteins island
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# ? May 2, 2024 01:09 |
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Alright, these are getting more and more elaborate and indulgent so this has to be my last one. Jerry receives a call from Elaine, who's coming home from a work conference. Her supervisor has recently quit, piling a ton of extra work on her including the trip. Elaine asks for a ride from the airport and Kramer instantly volunteers (to use Jerry's car to pick her up.) Kramer's enthusiasm stems from a sandwich shop location at JFK that apparently is the only place that makes a good club sandwich. He grabs his food while Elaine deboards and witnesses the airline announcing that they've oversold a flight and claiming that anyone willing to be bumped can reschedule for free and have an airport voucher for 250 dollars. He mentions to Elaine "That's the same flight that was oversold when I dropped you off". He asks the sandwich man about the flight, and is told that it's one of the most popular flights, they basically make that announcement every day. Kramer gets an idea, and buys a ticket for the next day. Jerry has a girlfriend who's moving across country. He and George discuss the fact that the move is a perfect development because she begun to drop more and more hints that she wanted him to propose, and he was looking for a reason to end it anyways. George mentions that he and Jerry started dating their respective girlfriends at the same time, and if she's looking for commitment maybe his would be too. Jerry, shocked, points out how poorly the whole marriage thing went last time. George confesses that this time it's different. She's actually a good match for him. They watch sports together, they both do their best to do as little as possible at work, they eat the same junk foods, and she knows exactly what she likes in the bedroom and isn't afraid to order him around, which makes things easy. Elaine becomes inundated with linkedin requests from people she met at her conference. She accepts them all to get the automated emails to stop, and the next time she's at work the CEO confronts her, thinking she's getting ready to move to another company. "You've been updating your linkedin way too much. I've seen this pattern before. How much are they offering you?" Elaine returns to Jerry's apartment overjoyed. She used the misunderstanding to negotiate a promotion. She's saw her old supervisor's checks and knows that she's about to double her salary. She wants to go out to dinner to celebrate. Kramer suggests they go to the airport. He's been going in for the last three days, allowing his ticket to get pushed to the next day and collecting a 250 dollar airport voucher. He pretty much has unlimited money so long as he spends it at the airport. The three of them decide instead to go to a nicer place, while Kramer heads off to the airport solo. There's a montage of him buying all sorts of things at airport gift shops, buying rounds for travelers at the airport bars, and hitting on flight attendants. Elaine goes into work the next day to sign the paperwork. Her promotion doesn't offer a raise at all. She asks the CEO about it, explaining she saw what her old supervisor made on a paycheck, and he's shocked. He looks into the accounts and it turns out her old supervisor was embezzling. In fact, there isn't enough to pay all the employees anymore. Elaine is forced to take a pay cut or be let go. She takes the pay cut. Jerry breaks it off with his girlfriend, who says she'd love to stay but the job opportunity is too good. She hints to him that they have comedy clubs where she's moving, and that they're serious enough that he could come live with her. He politely declines and she tells him that thinks he'll change his mind. George, meanwhile, comes home from work and has a talk with his girlfriend. He asks her if she thinks he should propose, and her response is "to who?" It turns out she sees George as a friend with benefits. "We never go out on any dates or do anything romantic why did you think we were dating? Is this how you'd treat a girlfriend?" She leaves, disgusted, and he's clearly confused and downtrodden. Elaine and George both show up at Jerry's equally depressed for different reasons. Jerry, on the other hand, is having a great day. After his free breakup he and Kramer ate some leftovers Kramer brought home and it turns out Kramer was right, it was a great sandwich. Kramer suggests they all go pick up some more food to get everyone in a better mood since he has to go collect his voucher anyways, and Jerry is easily convinced. The other two reluctantly tag along and they're all sitting in the airport waiting for their food. Kramer walks up to the gate (which is on the other side of a glass security wall) and it turns out for the first time, his flight isn't oversold. He tells the airport employee he doesn't actually want to get on the plane after all, and she gets extremely suspicious. Two officers are eating near Jerry, Elaine, and George hear on the radio "We have a possible national security scenario, we have a nervous gentleman who bought a one way ticket and is refusing to board the plane. It is unknown if he has luggage onboard". The cops rush towards the gate and that's when the trio notice what's happening behind the glass. Kramer sees security coming and then his tune changes, he hands the ticket to the employee and gets in line, desparately trying to push his way past the rest of the people waiting to get on the plane. Jerry is finding it very amusing until Elaine points out "Doesn't he have your car keys?" Jerry stands up and runs towards the terminal security line, banging on the glass. "Wait, wait, don't go! Don't get on that plane!." Cut to, Jerry's girlfriend who pops out from behind the crowd watching the spectacle to. "I knew it!" George and Elaine watch as behind the glass Kramer gets tackled and tazed, while in front of the glass Jerry is forced to have an awkward conversation. George and Elaine both agree that they're glad they came, and that their sandwiches are pretty good.
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# ? May 2, 2024 01:26 |
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pencilhands posted:peterman brings elaine to epsteins island It was product research for island wear!
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# ? May 2, 2024 02:21 |
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Ghost Dog: The Seinfeld Episode
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# ? May 2, 2024 02:28 |
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The four of them are all different personalities that coexist in that bass player's head. That's why all of them are always shown with a bass around their neck and are constantly playing it.
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# ? May 2, 2024 02:38 |
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Kramer, upset with his drooping derriere, gets a Brazilian Butt-lift from his friend, Bob Sacamano.
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# ? May 2, 2024 02:42 |
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elaine befriends a welshman
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# ? May 2, 2024 02:48 |
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emSparkly posted:George switches to Linux, struggles to complete mundane tasks on his computer, and gradually trashes his system while insisting to everyone it’s better than being forced to use windows. sudo now!
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# ? May 2, 2024 02:48 |
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elaine discovers she has a fart fetish when puddy rips rear end during sex
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# ? May 2, 2024 02:53 |
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Jerry gets a supporting role in a terrible movie, and throws a fit when he finds out he's nominated for a Razzie.
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# ? May 2, 2024 02:55 |
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Kramer sells a VPN service but it is just letting people use his computer like a remote desktop
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# ? May 2, 2024 03:04 |
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George's doctor tells him he will end up in the hospital if he doesn't go gluten-free. Jerry and Elaine take up a challenge of who can stay gluten-free the longest. Kramer demands free gluten from all the local bakeries and gets threatened by the local gluten-based organized crime syndicate. The syndicate thugs mistakenly beat up George, who ends up in the hospital. Also Jerry's upstairs neighbor might have a pet capybara, but no one can get a good look at it.
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# ? May 2, 2024 05:11 |
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George is getting upset more and more these days. It just feels like everything is unravelling around him.
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# ? May 2, 2024 08:11 |
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When a small earthquake hits NYC and Jerry learns that the nearby Indian Point nuclear power plant is built on a fault line, he panics and buys himself a space in an official Vault-Tec fallout vault. Hijinks ensue when he learns that Kramer has the cell next door, and Newman bought his way into becoming the Vault Overseer.
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# ? May 2, 2024 11:41 |
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Kramer is selling jailbroken PS3s packaged as PS5s. He says some people can't tell the difference because of the resurgence of indie developers making games in retro PS1 style. Jerry gets one off him for free, and buys a DDR dance pad as a joke, but Newman is very into the game and challenges him to compete at the local arcade. TheMostFrench fucked around with this message at 11:59 on May 2, 2024 |
# ? May 2, 2024 11:56 |
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TheMostFrench posted:Jerry gets one off him for free, and buys a DDR dance pad as a joke, but Newman is very into the game and challenges him to compete at the local arcade. the Seinfeld Premises from 20 Years Ago thread is thataway
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# ? May 2, 2024 12:42 |
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Superrodan posted:Alright, these are getting more and more elaborate and indulgent so this has to be my last one. You are very good at these
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# ? May 3, 2024 01:04 |
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George becomes an active member of the incel community on reddit
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# ? May 3, 2024 01:34 |
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Superrodan posted:Alright, these are getting more and more elaborate and indulgent so this has to be my last one. I am sad then because this was really dang good and I will now read this whole thread.
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# ? May 3, 2024 01:40 |
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Smugworth posted:George becomes an active member of the incel community on reddit George fucks more and hotter women than most men alive though
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# ? May 3, 2024 02:13 |
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Jerry gets heckled while workshopping a new joke at a club and someone shares the video of his meltdown online. He tries to make amends by going on Charlamagne tha God, but ends up having a bigger meltdown on the radio. Meanwhile, Elaine learns what's really in Chik-fil-a Sauce.
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# ? May 3, 2024 03:07 |
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John Wick of Dogs posted:George fucks more and hotter women than most men alive though He sure complains a lot about it.
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# ? May 3, 2024 03:12 |
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Jerry calls a gentlemen in the audience who heckled him a slur for Arabic people because he thought he was wearing a keffiyeh but it was really just a nice checkered scarf (cashmere)
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# ? May 3, 2024 03:17 |
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Kramer decides he wants to get into comedy. Jerry doesn't take it seriously, but starts getting jealous when Kramer starts getting good reviews and starts bumping him from gigs. George gets a job as an Uber driver, but starts stressing himself out by trying to perfectly time routes. Elaine gets a job as LL Bean's social media manager.
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# ? May 3, 2024 03:46 |
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John Wick of Dogs posted:George fucks more and hotter women than most men alive though George I honestly get. He's probably less neurotic than the average new yorker. Seinfeld is the baffling one.
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# ? May 3, 2024 03:51 |
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Milo and POTUS posted:George I honestly get. He's probably less neurotic than the average new yorker. Seinfeld is the baffling one. He doesn't give a poo poo about a lot of stuff in a way that makes him come across as confident
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# ? May 3, 2024 04:09 |
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J. Peterman shows up on the Epstein flight logs.
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# ? May 3, 2024 04:11 |
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George learns about memes but doesn't understand the youth culture. Jerry expresses disdain that memes have ruined people's taste for good old fashioned stand up comedy. Kramer accidentally starts a fire in Jerry's apartment by trying to use the microwave to charge his iphone. George thinks he's starting to understand memes and posts "This is fein-feld" on a message board but gets mocked ruthlessly. Jerry has to cancel his gig because he can't speak due to smoke inhalation. Elaine starts dating one of the firefighters, but discovers he moderates the message board that George posted on.
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# ? May 3, 2024 04:23 |
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Milo and POTUS posted:George I honestly get. He's probably less neurotic than the average new yorker. Seinfeld is the baffling one.
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# ? May 3, 2024 05:02 |
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Milo and POTUS posted:George I honestly get. He's probably less neurotic than the average new yorker. Seinfeld is the baffling one. Maybe Jerry's "technique" involves eating rear end
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# ? May 3, 2024 05:27 |
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There is no way jerry would eat rear end
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# ? May 3, 2024 05:35 |
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Milo and POTUS posted:There is no way jerry would eat rear end There's your episode. Jerry accidentally eats rear end while going down his girlfriend. Now he has to break up with her. George agrees. Kramer doesn't see the problem. Elaine is intrigued and keeps trying to get Putty to eat her rear end but he's having none of it.
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# ? May 3, 2024 05:40 |
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Puddy's an idiot
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# ? May 3, 2024 05:43 |
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# ? May 24, 2024 14:27 |
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Puddy founds a tech startup that threatens to disrupt the vendor soup market
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# ? May 3, 2024 05:48 |