Halloween Jack posted:

If someone "politely deflects" your advice a dozen times, maybe it's your responsibility to stop being thick as pigshit, instead of their responsibility to make things clear to you in a way that doesn't hurt your feelings.

Better yet, don't be a busybody about other people's food in the first place. Literally no one on earth wants their in-laws advice about what toppings to put on a burger at a barbecue. Just shut the gently caress up.

TBLALV posted:

Hmm yes they repeatedly and persistently ignore all his attempts to be polite about their constant nagging

Wicked Them Beats posted:

It's scattered interactions over five years, and the most egregious example the guy can come up with is someone mildly overselling paprika. There's probably a step between "No thanks" and "SHUT THE gently caress UP DO YOU THINK I DIDN'T CONSIDER THAT gently caress YOU" he could have tried.

But message received, if I see you at a bbq I won't tell you where the pickles are.

big black turnout posted:

I... did not in fact know that

boofhead posted:

It is simply impossible to navigate other people's annoying behaviour and social blindness, therefore I have the right to act like an angry toddler. Going from 2km/h to 200km/h is perfectly justifiable, I will not be taking questions because I am utterly unequipped to handle them

TBLALV posted:

Hey this was almost my legal name! My parents decided at the last second to stay sane and just gave me a first and middle name with those initials instead.

boofhead posted:

It is simply impossible to navigate other people's annoying behaviour and social blindness, therefore I have the right to act like an angry toddler. Going from 2km/h to 200km/h is perfectly justifiable, I will not be taking questions because I am utterly unequipped to handle them

house of the dad posted:

There's a pretty big difference between something being justifiable and understandable. I don't see anybody saying that his reaction was a good one or that it was the right thing to do, but I think most people understand something minor slowly driving you nuts until you eventually pop.

Peg Sliderskew posted:

The thing that jumped out at me about this story wasn't the off the shoulder edict, it was that a 26 year old woman has resigned herself to becoming a hunchback because she's a dentist, instead of doing a few minutes of physio exercises a day to make sure she can stand up straight regardless of career choices.

boofhead posted:

It is simply impossible to navigate other people's annoying behaviour and social blindness, therefore I have the right to act like an angry toddler. Going from 2km/h to 200km/h is perfectly justifiable, I will not be taking questions because I am utterly unequipped to handle them

boofhead posted:

the wife and family for being insufferably annoying, and the OP for having the emotional self-control and social communication skills of a child

Benagain posted:

see there watson: the hunched back indicative of a tattooist or dental hygenist.

Rat Patrol posted:

I agree with your point but published author names are a little different. All those authors go/went by their names to their friends and family. Except CS Lewis who named himself Jack when he was a kid so that's what everyone who knew him called him.

quote:

My partner (24M) and I (22F), have been together for almost 2 years now, and have been living together for about a year. I’ve only had one other bf, so I’m not sure if this is “normal” for men to do, but my partner constantly has his hands in his pants. When I say constantly, I mean basically every 10-15 mins, if not just keeping his hands in his pants the whole time. And no, this isn’t a pleasure thing. He formed this habit when he was a young kid. It doesn’t matter if he’s happy, stressed, sad, angry, he’s always touching and stretching out his ballsack between his fingers. Sometimes he makes this god awful squeaking noise by cupping his ball skin in his fist. At first obviously I didn’t see this as alarming, but now I’m just fed up. It’s gotten to the point that I will lightly smack his hand above his junk area and tell him to stop. Over time, this has become somewhat triggering to him, so often times after staying “please stop” he follows up with “you can’t tell me what to do”. It’s even progressed to the point of him saying things like “if you really love me you wouldn’t try to change me”. Now, this is where this little “habit” becomes a real issue. It doesn’t matter if he hasn’t showered in a few days, he will still be constantly fidgeting in his pants. And yes, it loving stinks. If he hasn’t showered and I hit his vape, there’s a slight stank lingering on it. Sometimes I don’t feel comfortable holding hands with him, having him hold my face, touch food, because there’s almost zero guarantee that he hasn’t already touched his junk. In terms of our sex life, he always showers beforehand so luckily I don’t need to worry about that, however, he isn’t the most sexual guy which has me wondering if the overstimulation to his genitalia is causing him to have a low libido. Overall, it’s been a long battle between me and his terrible habit and his consistent argument of “I need to love him without the need to change him and the way he does things” has me wondering if I really am the rear end in a top hat in this situation.

FMguru posted:

I wonder what his forums name is?

AITA for asking my partner to stop fidgeting with his balls?

FMguru posted:

I wonder what his forums name is?

AITA for asking my partner to stop fidgeting with his balls?

FMguru posted:

quote:

It doesn’t matter if he’s happy, stressed, sad, angry, he’s always touching and stretching out his ballsack between his fingers.

StrangersInTheNight posted:

Their friends and family called them what they wished to be called, which really just lends more credence to the main point here of 'call people what they ask to be called'.

A fan would call them by the pen name, a family member by their given name, because that's what's appropriate given the boundaries. ND Stevenson's full name is Nathan Diana, but he goes by ND or Indy professionally and coming up to call him Nate without being a close friend would be loving weird as hell.

We have internal frameworks for people having different names in different contexts, it's super normal for people, and it's actually more work to push back and be hateful about it. But some people, oh lord, they do take up the call.

quote:

Sometimes he makes this god awful squeaking noise by cupping his ball skin in his fist.

TACD posted:

…Is it possible to learn this power?

quote:

I (f) have my nipples pierced. Over the weekend I went with my friend (m) to get get nose pierced again. We were talking about other piercings. Which hurt most, wondering why my nose bled so much, how this is the only one that made me tear up. While still talking about all the piercings I showed him the ones in my nipples. Now my husband isn’t talking to me. My husband and I have talked. I see his perspective. I have apologized. But he has asked me for an outsiders perspective. Which means Reddit because commenters here are brutal. AITA for showing a friend my piercings?

StrangersInTheNight posted:

Oh please, stop clutching your pearls, ya bunch of Helen Lovejoys. You're all absolutely fine saying T.S. Elliot or J.D. Salinger or J.R.R. Tolkien or E.E. Cummings, or J.K. Rowling or A.A. Milne or C.S. Lewis. You'd probably feel weird AF trying to discuss any of those people by their full names bc this is how you know them.

I mean jfc, D.J. was what they called the oldest loving daughter in Full House - so it was common enough as a nickname in the 90s. Fuckin' weird if your mom as a teacher is like no your full, god-given name is Donna Jo Margaret and that's what I'm calling you becausssee...why? What is she protecting here? Name decorum? The sanctity of full names?

Rat Patrol posted:

quote:

I’m in a difficult situation. Ever since I was in high school I started dating Paul fake name. We had a very toxic relationship where he cheated on me, and was emotionally abusive. This lasted until I was 25 when he cheated on me with my cousin. He cheated on me before but that was the last straw.

I spent a year healing and not dating everyone and then I met Aaron fake name. Aaron is absolutely the most genuine and nicest person I ever met. He’s so sweet, kind, and attentive. But unfortunately we just miss that spark. I’ve been with him for 7 months and he’s treated me like a queen.

Recently Paul messaged me. Paul has finally started getting his life together. Everything I wanted for him. When we were together I was supporting him financially so it’s nice to date Aaron who has a good established career. Paul has gotten his GED and is currently trying to do air traffic control, and get certified from there. He has changed for the better and we still have that spark.

We are starting to talk and hang out every day. This has impacted my relationship with Aaron who feels I been distant. I been mostly hanging out with Paul instead of Aaron. Today I ended up sleeping with Paul and I feel really guilty. I told Paul I need space to process things. That we need to stop before I end up hurting Aaron. Paul told me he’s serious about wanting to fix things between us. I’m afraid that if I do choose Paul what if he hasn’t changed, and he goes back to his old self? Aaron is a great guy and it would suck to lose him , but Paul seems to be too finally.

I’m going to end things with one but I don’t know who yet

Love is hard, I appreciate any advice

quote:

I’m extremely sad but proud of myself. The old me would have given him a billion chances, but the first time I was saw he was cheating I dumped his rear end. Paul can talk a good game but his words never matches his actions….The relationship quickly delved back into our old toxic issues.

This entire situation made me realize I didn’t appreciate Aaron. The good news is this allows me to be a better partner for Aaron. Sometimes you need to go through something awful before you go are ready for something great. I think God wanted to experience this so I can be the partner, future wife, and mother Aaron deserves.

Unfortunately he blocked on everything when I broke up with him to date Paul. Luckily he became friends with one of my friends and she’s throwing her birthday party and did me a solid and invited him (he’s coming!) I’m going to speak to him there. I’m going to let him know I broke up with Paul and that I’m ready to be the best partner ever. He’s also a regular church goer (I’m not but) and one time he asked me if I wanted to go to church with him while we were dating, I will take him up on that offer!

But yeah you guys were right about Paul and I should have listened, now using this as an opportunity to grow as person.

quote:

I wasn’t going to post the update but people keep saying it didn’t go well 😂 actually it did.

At first he avoided me and apparently was mad at my friend but I just walked up to Aaron and said I broke up with Paul. He said sorry to hear and I said can we please talk.

Afterwards we went outside by myself and I told him I broke up with Paul because I realize I love you and I realize that Paul is my past. I told him I love what we had and it’s the best relationship I’ve ever had. He was hesitant but I explained how much I’ve missed him. We both got emotional. It was great to just talk to him again and it further reminded me how much I love him.

We still have a long way to go and he doesn’t want to get back together right away. He wants us to take it slow because he feels like this is happening too fast. He said me going from him to Paul back to him makes him nervous. He said he doesn’t feel like I’m his number one choice like he doesn’t think that I just broke up with Paul because I love him (Aaron). He asked me that I really miss him and realize that I love him. I told him that recently I started thinking about the time that we spent together and I realized that I was so stuck in the past that I wasn’t focusing on the present. The focus on the present that I realize that you are the person I wanna be with for the rest of my life.

I know a lot of you guys were rooting against me, but I want you to know that people can grow. I will be the partner that he deserves, and I can promise you all that whether you believe me or not.

quote:

My bf Aaron and I have been in the process of reconciling. We broke up the first time because unfortunately I didn’t appreciate him. I started to realize he was the love of my life and we got back together.

Unfortunately, my “friend” had no sense of girl code and told him very private information that hurts everyone and now I’m blocked on everything by him. I reached out to him from a burner number and he told me he feels betrayed and humiliated and to stop contacting him . I’m going to give him some space before I reach out again but right now my “friend” is about to get an earful from me.

I’m so hurt right now I called out of work today

dervival posted:

is it really that hard to try call people by what they want to be called

Ominous Jazz posted:

i need to know the private information

Ominous Jazz posted:

i need to know the private information

Hughlander posted:

quote:

I’m in a difficult situation. Ever since I was in high school I started dating Paul fake name. We had a very toxic relationship where he cheated on me, and was emotionally abusive. This lasted until I was 25 when he cheated on me with my cousin. He cheated on me before but that was the last straw.

...

Recently Paul messaged me. Paul has finally started getting his life together. Everything I wanted for him. When we were together I was supporting him financially so it’s nice to date Aaron who has a good established career. Paul has gotten his GED and is currently trying to do air traffic control, and get certified from there. He has changed for the better and we still have that spark.