r/relationships: there is only so much frogging a man can take

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: there is only so much frogging a man can take

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Chewbecca: Feb 13, 2005; Just chillin' : )

jemand posted:

How would they know which apartment flushed it?

It's absolutely this

Also what grown adult gets to a ripe old age not knowing what you can and can't flush

# ? May 10, 2024 03:23

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# ? Jun 3, 2024 07:35

Barudak: May 7, 2007

jemand posted:

How would they know which apartment flushed it?

They got a stool pigeon

# ? May 10, 2024 03:28

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Being defensive is one thing, but these people are constantly on the offensive looking for any excuse to attack and hold grudges, and go off on people the moment they think they have an opportunity. Especially when people are vulnerable, and especially their very own children and family. Often particularly in-laws who threaten to treat their children with kindness and reasonable behaviour. That isn't the behaviour of a victim, it's the behaviour of a bully.

# ? May 10, 2024 03:28

idiotsavant: Jun 4, 2000; Can't post for 3 hours!

Chewbecca posted:

It's absolutely this

Also what grown adult gets to a ripe old age not knowing what you can and can't flush

Take it from someone with the 100% direct experience of cleaning out sewage ejector pumps for a building that included a federal passport office, lots of cultures and lots of people believe that toilets are a magic hole that makes stuff disappear

# ? May 10, 2024 03:54

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

Chewbecca posted:

It's absolutely this

Also what grown adult gets to a ripe old age not knowing what you can and can't flush

Far, far too many of them.

# ? May 10, 2024 03:56

AtraMorS: Feb 29, 2004; If at the end of a war story you feel that some tiny bit of rectitude has been salvaged from the larger waste, you have been made the victim of a very old and terrible lie

Chewbecca posted:

It's absolutely this

Also what grown adult gets to a ripe old age not knowing what you can and can't flush

I meaaaaan...

Newly revealed photographs reveal two occasions on which former President Donald Trump apparently flushed documents down the toilet.

eta: the story is from 2022, it isn't breaking news

# ? May 10, 2024 03:57

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

A lot of people from cultures where you can't flush anything down the toilet will come to the west and hear this amazing news you can flush toilet paper safely. But then they don't really know where it ends and think they can flush paper towels and pads and things too.

# ? May 10, 2024 04:03

Wii Spawn Camper: Nov 25, 2005

In my old apartment, the lady upstairs had just moved in and she flushed like 100 wet wipes down the toilet. They clogged up right at my bathroom, and backed up a bunch of gross stuff into my bathtub and bathroom floor. I discovered this by stepping in it right after I woke up. They had to use a hydro jet to cut through all the wipes and unclog the line. I also got the landlord to pay to clean it up, but I�ll never forget the sight of it.

Wet wipes are not flushable. I mean, technically, they are able to be flushed down the drain, but it�s like flushing a towel. It doesn�t disintegrate like toilet paper does, it just gets clogged.

# ? May 10, 2024 04:08

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

jemand posted:

How would they know which apartment flushed it?

She was bragging and high-fiving her neighbours for flushing a whole chicken.

# ? May 10, 2024 04:56

The_Franz: Aug 8, 2003

Wii Spawn Camper posted:

In my old apartment, the lady upstairs had just moved in and she flushed like 100 wet wipes down the toilet. They clogged up right at my bathroom, and backed up a bunch of gross stuff into my bathtub and bathroom floor. I discovered this by stepping in it right after I woke up. They had to use a hydro jet to cut through all the wipes and unclog the line. I also got the landlord to pay to clean it up, but I�ll never forget the sight of it.

Wet wipes are not flushable. I mean, technically, they are able to be flushed down the drain, but it�s like flushing a towel. It doesn�t disintegrate like toilet paper does, it just gets clogged.

Some people I know moved into a new house and within a week the toilets were backing up. The people who were there before had bidets, so they flushed almost no toilet paper, but within a week of the new residents using "flushable" wipes, the old, root-filled, clay pipes were blocked, and every drain in the house was backing up. They had to have a plumber come out for an emergency call to snake the drain that was quite expensive.

# ? May 10, 2024 05:05

boneration: Jan 9, 2005; now that's performance

Chewbecca posted:

Also what grown adult gets to a ripe old age not knowing what you can and can't flush

My early seventies father flushes anything and everything smaller than a deck of cards down the toilet. Dental floss. Chicken bones. Paper towel. Nitrile gloves. Soap slivers. Old bandaids. Dead mice. Banana peels. Q tips. Bottle caps. Motor oil. Kitty litter.

He has a septic tank and he still does this poo poo.

I thought toilets were a magical hole to nowhere until I moved into my own place and promptly clogged the shitter.

eta: I grew up pretty loving rural

# ? May 10, 2024 05:27

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Our local plumber may literally strangle my dad if he has to come out and unfuck our commode one more time because dad will not loving stop scooping the cat litter into it.

# ? May 10, 2024 05:31

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

Yeah my 80 year old grandmother in law keeps putting Vaseline down clogged drains and denying it, she thinks it helps and cannot be convinced it doesn't

# ? May 10, 2024 05:35

AceClown: Sep 11, 2005

# ? May 10, 2024 05:55

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

Have a palette cleanser.

AITA for showing my grandchildren old video tapes of their dad when he was bugging them about their generation?

quote:

All of this is light hearted. Nobody is going no contact or getting divorced. Sorry for the lack of drama. Just an honest question.

My son and his family were visiting last weekend. My grandchildren were making videos and goofing off on my quads and such.

At dinner my son was making fun of his kids for recording everything and doing stupid stuff. His kids were bugging him back calling him a boomer. That's kind of funny because I am a boomer. On the youngest end of that generation but still a boomer.

In fact such a boomer that I am a packrat with boxes full of obselete tech and cables I might need again.

In one of those boxes I had a VHS player and a conversion cable that let me use RCA outputs (yellow, white, and red) and connect to my TV's HDMI port. And I have a box full of old VHS-C tapes and an adapter.

I asked for some help from my grandkids and we set up the machine and a selection of tapes. I even found the remote. It felt good. Like something that had been missing from my hand. New remotes feel flimsy.

We all sat down to watch. My sin started getting nervous. I think he forgot I had receipts.

I found his Jackass videos, videos of him surfing in the back of his friend's pickup. Videos of him unironically singing along to In Sync.

My daughter in law was giggling. Until we got to the videos of her. She has been friends with my son even before they started dating. Her fashion sense and hairstyle choices were "interesting".

We also unfortunately found videos of me with an ill advised moustache. And an old acid wash jean jacket I regret. My wife looked as beautiful as she always has. Lucky bum.

We spent about an hour laughing bat the old videos and my son was laughing as hard as anyone.

He also said I was a dick for undermining his high ground with my grandchildren.

I don't feel bad about it at all but I love this sub and I want to be judged.

AITA?

# ? May 10, 2024 06:03

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

Also just putting forth r/relationships: I think he forgot I had receipts

# ? May 10, 2024 06:06

BrigadierSensible: Feb 16, 2012; I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

ApplesandOranges posted:

Have a palette cleanser.

AITA for showing my grandchildren old video tapes of their dad when he was bugging them about their generation?

Acid vat for this wholesome grandpa lightly teasing his son.

# ? May 10, 2024 06:09

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

Cythereal posted:

My longtime friend [63M] who is like a father to me asked to see me [30F] naked as his dying wish.

She should send the voicemail to the wife.

Jfc imagine loving up so monumentally at the end of your life. Lying on your deathbed, all you could think about was all the boobs and butts you didn't get to see. Good job guy, now you'll forever known as the creepy perv.

# ? May 10, 2024 06:24

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Shanghaied posted:

She should send the voicemail to the wife.

Jfc imagine loving up so monumentally at the end of your life. Lying on your deathbed, all you could think about was all the boobs and butts you didn't get to see. Good job guy, now you'll forever known as the creepy perv.

Basically Nice Guy endgame from the sound of it.

# ? May 10, 2024 06:32

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

My sin started getting nervous

# ? May 10, 2024 06:36

Chewbecca: Feb 13, 2005; Just chillin' : )

Shanghaied posted:

She should send the voicemail to the wife.

Jfc imagine loving up so monumentally at the end of your life. Lying on your deathbed, all you could think about was all the boobs and butts you didn't get to see. Good job guy, now you'll forever known as the creepy perv.

As much as he deserves to be alone in his last hours, what does his wife deserve? She has probably given up a lot to look after him and to learn this could be devastating

It sucks so bad that he couldn't be the father figure she needed in his last days, as well as honouring his marriage to his wife :sigh:

The women in his life deserve better than he is giving him

# ? May 10, 2024 06:38

DeeplyConcerned: Apr 29, 2008; I can fit 3 whole bud light cans now, ask me how!

How hard is it to face death with a quiet, stoic dignity?

# ? May 10, 2024 06:39

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

DeeplyConcerned posted:

How hard is it to face death with a quiet, stoic dignity?

None of us can say with certainty how they would act knowing that death is swiftly approaching. We can say how we'd hope we'd act, but I think it's safe to assume that the number of us who would do what this old man did is in the minority.

# ? May 10, 2024 06:42

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

Everyone�s assuming that he is actually dying.

# ? May 10, 2024 06:43

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

He drat well better be because if he isn't and he still thought it was a good idea to try this, I advocate fixing that.

# ? May 10, 2024 06:43

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

Chewbecca posted:

As much as he deserves to be alone in his last hours, what does his wife deserve? She has probably given up a lot to look after him and to learn this could be devastating

It sucks so bad that he couldn't be the father figure she needed in his last days, as well as honouring his marriage to his wife

The women in his life deserve better than he is giving him

I'm only like half serious about sending the voicemail to the wife.

That said, in my experience the people around this kind of people know much more than they let on. There are of course always some who are completely oblivious. But in general, people know.

# ? May 10, 2024 06:48

Chewbecca: Feb 13, 2005; Just chillin' : )

He clearly didn't give a gently caress about the potential impact of this request on his daughter-type friend or his wife

Dying isn't a get out of jail free card to stomp all over people and do whatever without consequences.

He should fly to Europe, take a balloon ride, watch the sunset, not ask to see tits and arse from a family member on his deathbed lol

# ? May 10, 2024 06:51

Chewbecca: Feb 13, 2005; Just chillin' : )

The Lone Badger posted:

Everyone’s assuming that he is actually dying.

Oh god oh gently caress what if he isn't

# ? May 10, 2024 06:52

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

The Lone Badger posted:

Everyone’s assuming that he is actually dying.

Dying to see some titties.

# ? May 10, 2024 06:53

DeeplyConcerned: Apr 29, 2008; I can fit 3 whole bud light cans now, ask me how!

What if he's already dead? Then he's Promoting indecency with a corpse. that ain't legal.

# ? May 10, 2024 06:55

AceClown: Sep 11, 2005

Shanghaied posted:

Dying to see some titties.

# ? May 10, 2024 06:55

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

Shanghaied posted:

Dying to see some titties.

# ? May 10, 2024 08:23

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

What if the tits and arse had really good vibes tho?

(Also it's pretty much a textbook :stonklol:

story.)

# ? May 10, 2024 08:32

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Here's a small stakes one.

AITA for ordering meals for my children when we go out with friends?

quote:

My husband and I have two children (19 and 17). We go out with our friends (two other couples) every other week and then on the weeks we do not go out with them, we have a date night and then a family dinner out. We always get separate checks, so each couple pays for their own food/drinks, we find it is just easier to do it that way.

On the weeks that we do not take the kids (or ask if they can come in the 19 y/o case since they work), we always have them look at the menu to see if they want us to order them something and bring it home. We have been doing this for the last five years since the kids were old enough to not need a baby sitter, and it has never been an issue, until now. The only time we do not order them anything is when we have plans after dinner, such as a concert or movie.

A new couple joined our group for dinner, they are friends of another couple we go out with, and we had never met them prior to Saturday night. We decided on sushi for dinner, so we showed both kids the menu online and asked if they wanted us to pick them up something to bring home. They each decided on two rolls. At the end of our meal, my husband ordered the rolls for the kids and let the server know that they were for takeout and to put them on our check. The wife of the new couple got a little huffy and told us that it was rude of us to order more food when everyone was getting ready to leave, and basically said it was trashy of us to get doggie bags for our kids when none of the other couples had.

My husband told her that we do this all the time, and that if they wanted to leave, nothing is stopping them from doing that. The next day I got a text from my friends saying that this new couple did not enjoy going out with us, and that we embarrassed them (the new couple, not our friends) at the restaurant by ordering takeout food for our children.

I asked my friend if she had a problem with us doing that as they had never said anything to us before, and she said no, but she does not want fighting within the group so she asked that we not order takeout anymore for the kids if this other couple was going to be dining with us. I told my friend that it was rude to ask us not to do this, especially considering that we have always done it without issue, and that maybe we just did not need to go with them when they dined with this other couple since they did not like being around us.

AITA for ordering takeout food for our kids when we dine out with our friends?

What on earth?

OP needs to find some better couples to have dinners with, and especially to ditch that one 'friend" who advised them to just let themselves by steamrollered by the new people.

# ? May 10, 2024 09:16

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

AITA for not warning my wife about my rear end rag?

quote:

Okay, context. My wife is weird about butt stuff. I'm not talking about sexual butt stuff, that's obviously personal and up to the individual. I mean her unwillingness to acknowledge that anything comes out of butts or that people even have buttholes.

When we bought our house, I wanted to install a bidet, but my wife was against it. I told her she doesn't have to use it but she said just seeing it would gross her out. I mentioned not feeling clean just from wiping with paper and she didn't understand. Not everyone has naturally hairless assholes that barely require wiping! She asked if I could find an alternative. I said I could use wet wipes, but they're not flushable (none of them are BTW) so they'd have to go in the trash. She didn't like the idea of poopy things in the trash can, and told me to figure something else out that she didn't have to know about.

So, onto my rear end rag. I took an old towel, tore it up, and installed a discreet hook behind the toilet to hang the rag. It's completely hidden. The way our bathroom is set up (we only have one), the sink is right next to the toilet. So I'm able to wet the rag, clean up, wash it in the sink, and hang it back up. I swap it out a couple times a week. Gross? Maybe. But I figured that's my business since my wife did not want to hear about my butthole cleaning habits.

Recently my wife and I were showering together and she forgot to bring in a washcloth for herself. I don't use one, I use a sisal pouch with bar soap. I offered to hop out and grab her a washcloth, but she said, "No, don't worry about it, I'll just use yours!" and reached for my rear end rag. I said you don't want to use that. She asked why. I said just trust me. She kept pushing.

So I came clean about my rear end rag. She was horrified, started dry-heaving, and kicked me out of the shower. Apparently she had been using it as a washcloth for years whenever she forgot hers, which is often. What I don't get is how she thought that was my washcloth because A) It's hidden behind the frikkin' toilet and B) She knows I don't use a washcloth. We got into an argument. From my perspective, it was obvious that my rear end rag wasn't a washcloth, all bets are off when you use someone else's poo poo without asking, and her butthole hangup is interfering with my personal hygiene. From her perspective, I violated a clear boundary she set years ago and I'm just an overall gross person. I did apologize but I was upset and my apology wasn't really sincere.

I'm sleeping on the couch right now to try and give her some space. But I'd like to know if I owe her a more sincere apology over this rear end rag fiasco. I'm really not sure and her reaction has me thinking that maybe I actually am disgusting and I'm lacking the perspective to see it. But I also don't think her butthole aversion is normal, and it's the main reason I ended up resorting to the rear end rag solution in the first place and not telling her about it.

# ? May 10, 2024 11:18

PancakeTransmission: May 27, 2007; You gotta improvise, Lisa: cloves, Tom Collins mix, frozen pie crust...; Plaster Town Cop

Mx. posted:

AITA for not warning my wife about my rear end rag?

I don't believe this because how would she not smell it??
He says that he "washes" it in the sink but I'm guessing he means he rinses/wringing it out rather than like bleach or a good detergent every time he takes a dump
also:

quote:

Not everyone has naturally hairless assholes that barely require wiping

If only there were multiple different ways to remove unwanted body hair!!

PancakeTransmission fucked around with this message at 11:40 on May 10, 2024

# ? May 10, 2024 11:33

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Chewbecca posted:

He should fly to Europe, take a balloon ride, watch the sunset, not ask to see tits and arse from a family member on his deathbed lol

Or learn to use the Internet and see all the tits and rear end he could ever want.

FMguru posted:

Here's a small stakes one.

AITA for ordering meals for my children when we go out with friends?

What on earth?

My guess is the new wife already decided she hated OP, just wanted out of there, and then just snapped.

# ? May 10, 2024 11:37

keep punching joe: Jan 22, 2006; Die Satan!

Just use the Roman method of a sponge tied to a stick in a bucket of water. The whole family can use it.

# ? May 10, 2024 11:40

ReelBigLizard: Feb 27, 2003; Fallen Rib

PancakeTransmission posted:

I don't believe this because how would she not smell it??
He says that he "washes" it in the sink but I'm guessing he means he rinses/wringing it out rather than like bleach or a good detergent every time he takes a dump

I mean he talks about just wanting a clean rear end in a top hat and toilet paper not feeling clean, and he was the one pushing for a bidet. It's refreshing to read a story in this thread about rear end hygene that isn't about "the bf/husband/father-of-my-5-children hasn't ever once wiped or touched his own rear end in a top hat in case it made him gay(?)".

# ? May 10, 2024 11:48

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# ? Jun 3, 2024 07:35

BrigadierSensible: Feb 16, 2012; I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

Mx. posted:

AITA for not warning my wife about my rear end rag?

So this bloke washes himself with a rag. But where is the stick?

^^^^^ I really want to see a story from a wife/girlfriend where a bloke wipes/cleans his arse, and it DOES turn him gay.^^^^^

BrigadierSensible fucked around with this message at 12:07 on May 10, 2024

# ? May 10, 2024 12:04

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