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 After cheating in the detective competition, Nell, 778, Asper, and Slakes were found out by the Game-master, and are going to be questioned! But what's going on in the Game-master office, and who clued them in? [BGM: Office Games]  The fools... didn't they realize... we could hear everything that was broadcast over their headsets?!!   Ah yes, they are fools indeed. They're called 'T.A.D.S.'? Yes. They were so close to contact, too. We need to get their focus off us, and back onto the competition. Okay, we've figured out how they did it: Roel used her sensitive hearing to pinpoint where the voices were coming from, but she found the Voice-master instead. They're all cheating... to protect Red July. Silly of them, very silly. Why would we eliminate the best detective in the contest just because she has a headache? ...Well, we'd definitely do that to a low-ranking detective... but Red July? No, mate. No way. They think they're so clever. It amuses me, ha ha ha! They didn't get suspicious when we didn't fix the lights. Some detectives they are! Okay, well, what'll we do? Give them a slap on the wrist? Kick them out of the contest? They're all great detectives, we'd be the ones losing something. I think we should give them what they want. They want to talk to us? Fine. Let them. Then we'll continue on as planned. No. What do you disagree about, Kane? I agree with you 60 percent. But I don't think we should just let them continue with their 'T.O.D.' group, conspiring against us. They managed to figure out where the secret microphones are... someday they might find where the secret secret microphones are hidden. Or the secret secret cameras. Then what? We're stuck in this room... we can't satisfactorily answer their questions. They will find us eventually. The only thing that will work... is to infiltrate their group. Hmm... I like that idea. They'll get to meet one of us... but they won't even realize it! I like this idea as well. But you know what this means, right? We all blanched. We have to ask The Fifth? Yeah. Drat. I was hoping it would be something else. ...We'll draw straws, the loser has to talk to him.I pretended to grab some straws. Oh look, it's Mellie again.He hadn't drawn a straw not even a pretend one. Whenever there was something difficult to be done, we always made Mellie do it. Huh, you'd think once or twice it would be me, but it is always Mellie! Oh well!  Mm... what? While you were asleep, we draw straws. You have to talk to The Fifth. We're sending you in to spy on the detectives. Whuh? Huh? How will you do all that?? We'll figure it out as we go, that's sure to be the best way! Don't over think it Mellie, just go and ask him. Whatever. I'll do it, I guess. Even though you're obviously lying about the straws. The straws never lie, Mellie. They are extremely truthful. We trust in the straws.She sighed.  At least I don't have to breathe this stale air anymore. Maybe I'll finally be more awake. Kinda doubt it. Eat a horse, Greg.She glided to the door...   What am I doing again? Infiltrate the detective group 'T.A.D.S.' Keep them from cheating again. So... I'm gonna pose as a detective? Yes. Cool. I'll need an outfit, though. Just grab a trench-coat from the hotel rack, there's like, a million of them. Aye aye, captain...She left.  Wonder how many times we'll be able to do that before she catches on. Clark, she knows. She just lets us get away with it because we're enormous bullies. Oh, right.I wish I'd had the foresight to realize our improvisational approach was going to lead to massive problems... but I'm often lacking such profound insights. So, I won't be too hard on myself.
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May 15, 2024 01:17
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| # ? Jun 10, 2024 17:34 |
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These are exceptionally low-rent masterminds.
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May 15, 2024 01:48
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Yeah, it turns out if you keep yelling "We're cheating!" in a dark room, people can still hear you... Are we sure those are the best detectives that can be found?
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May 15, 2024 06:16
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 Game-master Mellie is sent to speak with the mysterious fifth Game-master, to request that she be sent into the contest to prevent T.A.D.S. from finding the Game-masters. [BGM: The Fifth]   Telegrams move me a mile. Turning away women clue! This was The Fifth. He was usually pretty quiet in his little room. It wasn't a closet, but it was almost that size. Radios surrounded him on all sides. They were set to channels playing only static. The Fifth had a... weird way of communicating. The other Game-masters always sent me because they said I understood him the most, but they really just liked to pick on me. They'd drawn so many mustaches on my face while I was sleeping that my upper lip had a permanent dark smear on it. It was boring in the office, so everyone did their best to be entertaining. Yeah, you said not to come in a while ago. We haven't disturbed you until now. As for why I've come here... even I don't know...As it often did, my brain started to wander into tangents as I talked, every word in my sentence reminding me of a million other sentences like it. It was my Method, and it was painfully useful. ...Or usefully painless. ...A pain to use, that is. Cheering pirates heard ducks inside.I tried to untangle what he meant.... I needed to hurry it up. Um...The Fifth liked to speak in cryptic crossword clues. He was obsessed with crosswords, and puzzles, and all types of games. It was fitting... as besides being the fifth Game-master, he was also the original Game-master...  The creator of the contest. That's why we put up with him. The... detectives...Uhhhhhhh, what was a good way to explain that the detectives were cheating? Since I was good at anagrams, I decided to just go with that... Set the deceiving act out of sorts. Ah!!He seemed happy that someone had given him a clue to solve. Hmm... hmm! Hmm!! Cheating detectives? You got it, buddy. To what end? Uh oh he'd dropped the cryptic clues. Now there were a million other wordplay games he could throw my way. They're trying to speak with the Game-masters. Well. I'll stop crying in a closet and make myself useful, I guess. There's only five of us, with one brain between, and I've selfishly kept it for myself. Ohhh snap.I could never tell when he was being sarcastic or serious, so I chose to never take him seriously. You know, I invented this competition. That means I'm the cruelest person alive. You're terrible and mean. I'm the worst! And ugly. Everyone hates me. We make fun of you, all the time. Even when I'm in the room. Because you're just that despicable! This was the 'depreciation contest'. Whoever was the last to say something mean about him could talk with him further. You had to top every self-depreciating remark he made to win. I am the epitome of morons. You are the perfect model. The stupidity of the other models wore off, but you were so stupid you were beyond stupid. You became... Stuperditious.Sometimes, topping him meant creating a new word. He looked pleased with that. Relay all your information... Kindly Now In Fact Extracts. Bleh. Um... Whenever he said something that could be acronymed to 'KNIFE', it meant I had to say whatever I needed to say in knife similes. This was another good reason nobody wanted to talk to The Fifth. Greg, Clark, and Kane deserved at least two marker mustaches for this. ...And mutton chops. And goatees. Our greeter Haney betrayed us... like a backstabber stabs backs with a knife. She was working with the top-tier detectives... like a knife works with world-class chefs.It was a stretch, but it would do. They found their way to the Voice-master... like a knife misses the core of the apple. We must top them... like a knife... stops... someone's heart if you stab them with one.Now I sounded like I wanted to stab the detectives with a knife... great. It's obvious what we'll do! Hotel with grime loses cash, gains prime termites one star.Ughh. This clue didn't seem like it was an anagram... I had no idea what he meant. Hotel with grime loses cash, gains prime termites one star. I don't know what that means. Don't make me shout it, or I'll have to make it an '& lit' clue. No, no, don't shout it... um, well, the other Game-masters told me the best way would be for me to spy on the detectives directly. Go undercover in the contest and steer them away from cheating and trying to find the Game-master... Yes, that's what I was saying! Well, sorry I couldn't solve your clue in five seconds... stern autopsies get ruined.The Fifth shot me a dark look. Clarinet cop trips. You're doing it again, Bob.The easiest way to provoke him into acting normal was to call him names... really common names.  I'm not Bob, I'm Conver, the strangest name in the galaxy.[NEW BIO: Game-master Conver] Nope, your name is Bob now. Plain old Bob. Billions of Bobs out there. Fine, I'll shut up if you will. I can't shut up just yet, Bob. We need a plan of action. It's quite simple... We'll splice you into the competition. This will involve displacing another detective... but that's fine. We'll take care of it. Don't worry about a thing. Go among them and pull them apart... invert their magnets. Charge them negatively. Now excuse me, I must get back to writing this crossword... every clue uses the word 'hate', but every answer is something associated with love. Don't change the subject. How am I supposed to convince them I'm a detective? It's already the Second Stage, they all know each other. Don't change the subject back. I was done with that one. I put it aside. Goodbye. He sat back down and wrote 'I really hate this holiday' along with other assorted clues to his crossword in a notebook. I left the room to prepare for the plan, feeling more tired if that was even possible. Greg was right. An old detective coat was easy to find. The other Game-masters were waiting for me back at our makeshift office. [BGM: Ticks and Tocks]  We've been trying for the wastepaper world cup. The prize is literally a cup. There's only one in the office, and if you win you won't have to share!Greg loved boring office games. What's the word from The Fifth? Can't you tell from my shiny new detective duds? He agrees with the strategy. I am to splice myself into the competition... and break apart the Tense Detective Brigade or whatever it is. I knew The Fifth would agree. It's such an exciting idea! Does this mean I can swap desks with someone? Someone covered my desk with cats. ...Does anyone know who did that, by the way? Don't call him 'The Fifth'. It glamorizes him. Call him 'Game-master Conver'.Everyone winced. And stop doing that. Let's discuss the splice. Cool, we're all calling it the splice now. We'll put you in the Questioning Room with the cheating detectives. That'll give you a good reason to not have been in the competition before. Then you'll help them escape. Hopefully, they'll accept you into their inner circle. Great... do you need cat food? Did you do this?He indicated the cats. I was meeting Conver...He gave me a harried look, then motioned for the others to gather around. We talked for about an hour, discussing different strategies. Finally, it was time for me to leave. The Game-master office was in the hotel's basemente, so I had to climb up the stairs and go through a network of hallways that were designed to make whoever attempted to walk through them extremely disoriented. [BGM: Thinking Thoughts]  Finally, I arrived. Detectives 778, Nell, Slakes, and Asper looked toward me as I entered. They were seated at a long table in the narrow room that we called the Questioning Room. Hey, so, while I was working on this update, the dev posted a game update that changed the UI and one or two character's sprites, so things are going to look different for the rest of the LP as a result. Figured I'd say something instead of just hoping nobody'd notice.    You're the interrogator?Nell was a seemingly normal detective who the other Game-masters adored to place bets on... but she couldn't be THAT normal she'd put up with 778 for six rounds of the contest. No. I'm an interrogatee, just like you. You're a detective? I haven't seen you in the competition before. That's because I've been cooped up in the Questioning Room since the stage started. I was caught cheating. Caught cheating? So were we! How'd you do it? I don't like to talk about it. It's pretty crazy stuff. Long story. That sort of thing. At least tell us what your name tag says. I was in charge of creating all the name tags for the detectives, but I'd never had to make up one for myself. It says... #sleeper. Why that name? I'm always tired. Welcome to the club.I was better at infiltration than I thought! So, you're like Detective Ether. You fall asleep and solve the crime in your unconscious state? No, it's this really really cool method called 'Trigger Chains'. Sounds like a Power Rangers attack. But, I guess there's no helping that.I can't explain properly how weird it felt to stand in a room with people I'd only ever seen on a screen. Like meeting celebrities, I guess. Seeing their faces and movements through my own eyes was unsettling. Excuse me.I sat next to Asper. Do you wait long to be questioned? About an hour. They like to draw it out so you're as unnerved as possible when he contacts you. It's through the speaker system, though, so if you wanted to meet him, then too bad.We Game-masters knew that the detectives generally assumed two things: That the Game-master was one person, and that they were male... which made it more likely they wouldn't figure out who I really was.  Uh, my name's Detective Mellie, by the way. Thanks for asking.[NEW BIO: Detective Mellie]  I was going to ask...There was still some weird tension. I felt like I was a third wheel or something. A fifth wheel, to be specific... I'm bored. Is there something else to talk about? What's your plan? The Game-master's going to interrogate you, you know... We just won't answer any of his questions. That won't work. When the time comes to talk, you'll talk, no matter how much you don't want to. What do you mean?Nell was always asking what people meant... it was sort of her catchphrase. What will you do? You know the announcement tune?Everyone nodded. He plays it over and over. It never stops. It's torturous. Slakes looked at me incredulously. ...Really? Yup. I can't tell if you're kidding or not. Just trust me, you have to answer everything they ask. The faster the process goes, the faster you'll get back in the competition. Why're you still here, then? Uhhh I'm really tough to break, that's why.Slakes was suspicious of me... his relentless questioning was part of the reason I was getting an uneasy feeling... What could I do to make them trust me? You know what I hate? What do you hate, Mellie? How the casefile doesn't show the autopsy report! I know, right? Exactly! If we knew the results of the report, the case would be so easy to solve! It makes no sense, because in a real investigation you would have access to that report... it's just a cheap way for the Game-master to force us to figure out the method of death... Yeah, it's so transparent.Ah, good, my plan was working. Our announcement chime sounded... *ding dong diiiing!*   Greetings, cheaters.It was probably Greg, since the others made him do the boring stuff when I wasn't around. You all know why you've been sent to the Questioning Room. But we don't... at least, not fully. The main point upon which we are curious is... why did you let yourselves get caught this time?[BGM: Upside Down]  The table was lined with little electronic displays, one in front of each of us, and buttons alongside them.  The displays lit up with the words '$5000 left'. The amount of money went down by fifty every second. Do you get it? Press the button, and rat out your friends. The first to do so gets all the money displayed. Be quick, or it'll all be gone in a matter of seconds. Well, this is new.778 immediately pressed his button. What is wrong with you?![BGM: Trickster]  Everything. I am a twisted individual. We got caught on purpose... well, I alerted you to the fact that we were cheating... In order to reach this room. Well, sort of this room. I was hoping to meet you in person... so that we could talk to you, the Game-master. First of all, why do the top ranks change so little? It's very suspicious! Do I have to remind you who's in the Questioning Room? You, not me.Greg's modified voice sounded so stupid I almost laughed. How could the detectives take the Game-master seriously with such a dopey audio filter...? Wait, I want to know that too. Also, why did you hire Haney? How many other competitions have there been? Do you have a lot of money? Can I have some? Fine... fine.[BGM: A Matter of Simple Deduction]  I will answer one question, guys. Just one if you answer all of mine. Then, you will all be reintegrated into the contest. Even Mellie? Detective Mellie's here for other reasons than you. But fine. Mellie too.778 looked around at everyone. I say we take this opportunity. What question should we ask, though? Let me do it. I didn't get an opportunity last time.778 nodded, and the others seemed to agree. They spent the next couple of minutes answering Greg's questions. Yes, Red July had been cheating. No, there weren't any other detectives in 778 and Nell's rooms, other than Slakes and Asper. Yes, there was a group called 'T.A.D.S.'  And I'm the leader! Yup, 778's the leader of T.A.D.S.!Greg pretended to buy it. [BGM: Mysteries Everywhere]  So... you risked expulsion from the contest to get here... what is your question? What do you want to know?We all looked at Slakes. What... is your method, Game-master?How would Greg get himself out of this one...?
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May 17, 2024 00:58
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Conver is great, and I absolutely believe he's the sort of person who would set up a competition like this. I'm assuming the crossword hint at the end is supposed to be "Valentine's Day" or some permutation thereof, but I'm at a loss trying to solve any of the others, even with the context clues. Like I can get "now leave me alone!" out of the first line, and "don't get upset" out of the 'autopsies' line, but I can't get the rest of them to make sense; and I know how to do the hotel clue, but I'm not finding the words I need. "Hotel" is almost definitely something like "spa" or "wellspring" that you can remove letters from ("loses cash") to later add in and make "splice" out of ("gains prime termites" = add 'lice' to the first word, I think?). But that's as far as I can get it. Don't suppose the game comes with an answer key on those?
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May 17, 2024 02:51
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Yeah, cryptic clues are kind of hard with no letter count or crossing letters, turns out. I'll take a swing when I get home from work.
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May 17, 2024 02:56
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Nick Buntline posted:Don't suppose the game comes with an answer key on those? If there is one, I haven't seen it.
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May 17, 2024 03:02
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Verrrry interesting. Nice touch the game masters uniform has numbers like a crossword, and they do seem like the sort to start one of these. ...but with how much interest theres been in discovering the one behind the game, this feels like misdirection, of a sort? Like, they may have created the game, but are they still in charge or just a gamemaster these days? Who's behind this iteration of the game and why? hmm
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May 17, 2024 03:08
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 In the mysterious detective contest's even more mysterious Questioning Room, Detective 778 has negotiated a question for the Game-master, and Detective Slakes has asked it: What is your method? [BGM: Mysteries Everywhere]  778 grinned and rubbed his hands together. That was a great question! Now we'll know if the Game-master is a detective, and if he is, we may be able to figure out who he is through what method he says!I was amused by the situation Greg had gotten himself into. What would he say? My method...? It's nothing special. I just schedule the rounds like anyone would.Ah, he'd dodged it by interpreting Slakes's question in a different way than Slakes had intended... BooOOOooo!!!I was a little annoyed on behalf of the detectives. [BGM: Waking]  Slakes sighed and rubbed his eyes, looking ashamed. I can't believe it... I should've phrased it so he wasn't able to do that... Next time, for sure. Okay contestants, you are now allowed back into the competition. About time, I sure am sick of this place. I'm sick of it and I was here a fraction of the time you were.We walked out of the room and towards the lobby. 778 hopped up the stairs, which I knew he did but had never seen him do in person. It seemed like a waste of energy, and far too active for me to attempt.  When we got to the lobby, I glanced at the clock. We were just in time for the third round ranking announcement, but we'd missed dinner. They had food somewhere in the hotel, but I didn't like it much.
in fifth place, Detective Roel, in fourth place, Detective Sess...This time I was sure it was Kane. In third place, Detective Slakes, in second place, Detective Red July, and in first place Detective 778.Oh, 778 had moved up to first. ...Only because he'd cheated, though. He looked like he was going to cry tears of happiness, despite it not being a real victory. Just kidding! 778 cheated this round by teaming up with Detective Slakes. They have both been moved to the bottom of the list. Roel, Sess, and Red July are third, second, and first.[BGM: Mysteries Everywhere]  Instantly 778's tears turned from happy ones to sad ones. What did he expect, though? You'll work your way back up in a round. Just don't cheat next time. Also... because 778's partner Nell technically wasn't helping to solve the case, but simply repeating what Detective Slakes was saying, she is no longer 778's partner. A new one will be selected for him soon.[BGM: Goodbye]   What?! Yes she was! What about the fourth floor rule? If they're in the upper 25 percent, the partners are locked in, aren't they? That was only for the First Stage. There is no 'Fourth Floor' in this hotel... in this stage, the partners are required to help with every mystery. ...Hmm. Hm. This is a development. I promise I'll stay in the competition. Someday we'll work together again. I predict rain, and promise nothing. Really? I was trying to be nice, as usual, but maybe that's been my mistake all along. I'm actually glad I don't have to be your partner anymore. Goodbye. Nell walked away without another word. I could tell she was hurt by 778's cold dismissal. 778 looked down at the floor. Harsh. Who's the jerk now? It's time for our first partner switch announcement for Stage Two. Nell will be partnered with Detective Ether, and Detective 778 will be partnered with Detective Mellie.Ah... they'd set it up this way so I could infiltrate T.A.D.S... I refuse. I've changed my mind. I will keep Nell as my partner.The speakers remained silent. 778 took off one of his large shoes and threw it at the speakers. It made an impressive clunk, but the Game-master still didn't answer him. Did you hear me? I'm not changing partners! Stop making such a scene, you attention magnet.Definitely Kane. Nobody cares. To be precise, the small percentage of the population represented in the hotel lobby doesn't care, and they matter the most. Either you can whine about something you could've prevented and quit, or you can shut up about it and press on. You're not entitled to keep your partner. That's all I'll say about this. Head to your rooms for the next round, please.[BGM: Hotel Quail]  Is it just me... or did the Game-master get extremely opinionated? You deserved it. But I agree with you switching back to Nell Mellie deserves a better partner. You tried to bail on her. I hate switching partners. It's like lightbulb jokes... no matter who's switching what, they're always a punchline. I don't understand that analogy. It's like an Or No. Don't even think about it.Slakes walked away. Well, this was really awkward. Maybe we'd meddled a bit too much in the contest...  Sorry about Nell. But... our names are pretty much the same, so what's the difference? Look, I can do a Nell thing... You're so annoying! ...Does that help? No. You seem to know a lot about the other detectives for somebody who was stuck in a room this whole stage. Look, my problem is... I blend in really well. I blend, and I observe. Blend... and observe. Huh! It's like you aren't even there! That's because I'm blending. And I'm observing... that you have a very clown-like aesthetic. Well... that's because... My parents were clowns. It was the exact same way he had said it to Nell. So, what is a 'Trigger Chain'? It's, uh... how my brain works. It's a little like memorization... I can perfectly recall experiences or information in my life when I hear certain words... I associate memories with words very easily. A word like 'clean' brings to mind a very specific memory I have. But for it to be useful, I have to string together several words in a chain... that's why I call them 'Trigger Chains'. That's fish-tastic. If I needed to remember, say, what a salad fork does, could I come up with the trigger? What's the... criteria? Since it's specific, 'salad fork' would probably work fine. But a more general word like 'cloud' is associated with many, many memories. To keep my memories from overwhelming me, I usually end up making up a nonsense word to recall it. I have to link memories to trigger chains as I experience them.. otherwise, the memory's gone forever. Are you going to try to remember this moment right now? Hmm... Sure. Why not? I'll remember this moment as... Fish-tastic. That's very fish-tastic indeed. Stored in the mind locker. What stickers are on yours? Mine has a duck sticker. Coming from the duck is a speech bubble that says 'Out to Lunch'. If it isn't a fish with you, it's a duck. Well, they're the funniest animals. My mind locker has a note stuck on with a piece of gum that says 'Out to Lunch'.778 laughed. I was pleased, because I'd noticed that he never laughed at anyone else's jokes.  I never forgot that fish-tastic moment. Even though I didn't really need to remember it... sometimes it's nice to think back on, I guess. I felt bad for Nell. But, on the other hand... she had cheated in the contest. In a way, she was lucky the contest was completely rigged... she would have been out in the first round.
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May 17, 2024 22:26
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....what if this contest is how detectives are made 
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May 18, 2024 09:49
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Nick Buntline posted:Conver is great, and I absolutely believe he's the sort of person who would set up a competition like this. Hotel with grime loses cash, gains prime termites one star. Infiltrate Inn Filth - hotel with grime Drop the H - loses cash Rate - one star => in filt Rate Might be missing some subtleties there but pretty certain the gist of that is right.
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May 18, 2024 13:45
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778 made a non-Oreo-related simile! Hes learning!
maybe.
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May 18, 2024 15:09
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Elite posted:Hotel with grime loses cash, gains prime termites one star. I still don't understand cryptic crosswords. 
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May 18, 2024 20:46
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Quackles posted:I still don't understand cryptic crosswords. Yeah, whenever I see someone solve those, I assume it's an elaborate hoax, where the solver actually knows the solution beforehand.
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May 18, 2024 21:08
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Quackles posted:I still don't understand cryptic crosswords. Theyre kind of bullshit and you sort of have to do a lot of stuff backwards. So here we know hes talking about going undercover to sneak into the group. And thinking of different ways to phrase that lead me to Infiltrate which then lead to Inn filth for the hotel with grime clue. Kind of got lucky coming up with the right word fairly early on for that one. I havent been so lucky with the others. I dont really do cryptic crosswords but as I understand it theres a couple of tricks to look out for with them (keeping a look out for anagram clues for example).
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May 18, 2024 21:14
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 Detective 778 and his new partner Mellie move on to solve the fourth round of the Second Stage in the mysterious detective competition! [BGM: Sauntering Around]  Do you know what kind of people I hate to work with? People who take things seriously. Luckily, Detective 778 demonstrated how he didn't fit in that category of people immediately after the investigation started. Mellie, are you ready... to stand on your head?! Uh, maybe later. Excellent Mellie, excellent... Should we look around for clues or something? Yes, Mellie, that is what we must do... because we are detectives. ...Right, but the Game-master hasn't said anything yet. That just means we have a head start!  There's a business card on the table... it's for a brokerage firm founded by Mr. Decapito. Yup, I've got one too. Interesting... Huh... looks like residue of some kind on the ceiling... Like smoke, or some kind of chemical...? Yeah. It's not on my side. Hmm... I think something's in the bathroom...[BGM: Mode of Operation]  Oh...Our lovely Game-master chime sounded... *ding dong diiiing!*  Welcome to the fourth round of Stage Two... This mystery is called 'Severance Pay'. As usual, here's the casefile... Finally... [Severance Pay] Mr. Decapito was found decapitated in the bathroom, with the keycard to his hotel room. His violent business co-founder, Mr. Archimedes, was staying in an adjacent room and was arrested. Both the bathroom and the hotel room were locked from the inside when the crime was discovered. You do not have access to the autopsy report. SPECIAL BONUS: Present a motive for the crime. And the Suspects File... [Wanted: TOYER] MODUS: Toyer likes to turn her victims into living weapons. One death is not enough for her violent tastes.  [Wanted: RIGS] MODUS: Rigs kills his victims by using principles of engineering.  [Wanted: FILTER] MODUS: Filter kills his victims with noxious gas. He's an expert chemist.  [Wanted: SHRUNKE] MODUS: Shrunke kills her victims by cutting off their heads, then preserving those heads in healing fluids. This is a tricky one, so we gave you a bit of a headstart. As you can tell from the case-file, this is a locked room inside a locked room... both the hotel room and the bathroom were locked from the inside. Your time starts... now. Exciting! A whole new scene to investigate... Yeah, exciting...Of course I'd known there was something in the bathroom... but exactly what the solution to the mystery was, I couldn't remember... good thing I had my Trigger Chains in case I got stuck.   There's a hotel keycard on the toilet. I've got it, too. I assume that's what locks the hotel door... Wait a minute... both the bathroom and the hotel room were locked... How did the killer get the hotel keycard back inside the bathroom after locking the hotel door...? Sounds impossible to me.It was completely impossible. Just the kind of clue we Game-masters loved...  A decapitated victim... what a violent mystery. I'll say... decapitated AND bashed on the head? Bashed on the head? My victim has a large bruise on his head. I don't think mine does... Hmm... There's a trail of blood running down the door. Too thin and high to be part of the natural blood splatter. I agree. Looking at it upside-down, it really stands out. ...I think it stands out no matter how you look at it. The bathroom was locked from the inside with this sliding bolt, I presume... Hmm... I'm not sure I know of any way the killer could've locked it from the inside or from the outside... Really? What about magnets? No... there'd be leftover evidence. Tape and a string? The tape would be on the lock. What about a spring? What ABOUT a spring? I don't know! That's not helpful. I'm going to try hopping on one foot. That'll probably help. Good idea!And so, the hopping competition began...  We'd investigated all there was to investigate... I was eager to hear what 778 had come up with. So, this mystery is more complex than it appears.... for one thing... Hey! That's exactly, 100 percent what I was gonna say! Oh really? Sorry. No big deal... but you're right, Nell. I'm not Nell, I'm Mellie. ...Right. Sorry. Now that we've finished apologizing to each other, let's try to solve the mystery, yeah? Sounds good.  Okay... well, let's start with the MOD. Method of Death. Yup. What do you think cut off Mr. Decapito's head? That's what I was going to ask you, as part of your training! I don't need any training buddy, I've been a detective for twelve years... How about YOU tell me what you were thinking, because I already have an answer. Why don't you TELL me your answer, Mellie? Why don't okay, we'll just say it on three, ready? One... two... three. Only one of these really makes any sense whatsoever based on the scene. Razor wire. ...Hello? Yup, razor wire, yeah. That's what... I was thinking... as well. Is this mystery stumping you a little, 778? You sound stumped. I am not stumped!! It's just a little more complex than usual! Yeah, yeah... Razor wire makes sense... it fits with the line of blood on the bathroom door. If it's razor wire, that explains how the killer could have killed the victim from outside the bathroom... He could've used the two doors as a pulley system... Pulling the victim up, and the wire through the top of the door... Cutting off the head. Hmm... that does make sense... the weapon is neatly removed from inside the bathroom... however, there's a huge flaw with your hypothesis. Can you see what the problem is...? There are no flaws. I'm an amazing detective, and that's that. Time to submit our deduction. I'm joking. Ha ha! Good one!Hmm... a major flaw in my hypothesis...? What could it be? Well, the problem of the locked room, right? There are two locked rooms int his mystery: the hotel room and the bathroom. The bathroom was locked in such a way that would be impossible to lock from the outside... ...and the hotel keycard was in the bathroom with the victim! There's no way the killer could've set up the victim inside the bathroom with the wire noose... exit, lock him inside, and then get out without using the hotel keycard to lock the room! Exactly Mellie... that's just what I was thinking! And I was also thinking... Maybe we're looking at this mystery all wrong! Everything works if we just change one thing about our solution...!Just one thing? Hmm... what was he talking about? Hmm... maybe Mr. Archimedes was arrested falsely... maybe... [BGM: Upside Down]  Mr. Decapito killed himself! That's what I was thinking! He could've just locked the hotel door with the keycard, went inside the bathroom, locked the bathroom door, and killed himself! But wait, doesn't there need to be someone pulling the razor wire loop closed from outside the door...? Not necessarily... He could've looped the wire noose around the door, securing it... pulled the sharp wire closed around his neck. Then used the power of gravity and his own weight to cut off his own head. Hey, this might be it! There's no other way to explain the locked doors, right? Let's not get excited, Mellie... it's bad detective work to jump to a conclusion.He was the one who'd jumped to the conclusion... Let's think for just a bit longer... what doesn't fit with the scenario? There might be something!Sigh... why wouldn't he just call it a day? Detectives always try to do more than they need to... Reluctantly, I thought about his scenario. Did thinking of it as a suicide instead of a murder really solve all of the problems...? Well, there WAS something missing from the crime scene that 778 hadn't accounted for... Ah! That was it! [BGM: Mode of Operation]  Once the guy's head's off, the wire would be lying on the floor... and it's not. And a dead guy can't hide a wire. But what if there was an ACCOMPLICE?!?! ...No, no, you're right. Oh, man... well, that means we're back at the other problem... how did Mr. Archimedes magically walk through two locked doors? Well... Hmm. I was about to say, 'Maybe he's hiding in the room', but he would have to be hiding in the bathroom and there's nowhere to hide in there. ...Unless he's a tiny elf and can hide in the toilet. We'll put a pin in that one. Umm... um... ...ah! Mellie, simply by whacking myself in the face I have thought of a brilliant idea! Okay... what? Check the hotel door. I think we missed something.I was... reasonably intrigued.   Okay, the hotel door knob... what about it? Mellie, what if the hotel door wasn't locked with the keycard? But the casefile says it was locked... It WAS locked! But not with the keycard! Look at the type of lock on the doorknob... it's a push-in lock! There are TWO ways to lock the hotel room door... and with a push-in lock, you can lock it while the door's open, pull it shut, and it will be locked from the outside! W-Whoa!!For the first time in a while, I was fully awake... was this finally the answer we needed?! So that solves how the killer got out of the hotel room... and it even explains how the keycard could be inside the bathroom! Yes, Mellie! Oh ho ho ho! The game is afoot or, more accurately, a head!! Yeah. But wait...[BGM: Silence]  We haven't figured out how the bathroom was locked from the inside... and time's running out... We're almost there, Mellie! Don't give up!Despite his words, things were looking pretty bleak... though we DID tweak the rankings like crazy, there was still some truth to them... and a very poor showing by 778 could get him kicked out of T.O.P.S. or whatever. If there was any time to cheat... now would be it. Though I'd forgotten the mystery's solution, like I'd forgotten most of the things in my life... I could remember it all, if I just used my method... all I needed to do was remember the word I'd come up with that would trigger the memory. Something straightforward, having to do with this mystery... a combination of a bunch of other words... [BGM: Trigger Chain]  New detective, new Method.        I think this is the one to pick... Probably his best mystery yet... looks like we have a winner. Filter did a great job imitating it too, it'll work really smoothly when we implement it. Nice... I'll inform the criminals. Hey Mellie... no cheating in the World Cup Championship. I saw you placing that ball by the bin. Whaaat? I wasn'tUuuhhhhh, that's enough of that memory... [BGM: Mode of Operation]  So, Mastermind Filter had a part in the mystery... but what did that mean? How did that help me at ALL?!?!?! Hey Mellie! Yeaaah? I admit it this is stumping me. Well, don't worry, because I just... thought of something. What? Do you think... Mastermind Filter was involved in the mystery? It wasn't Toyer, right? The body wasn't used as a weapon. It wasn't Shrunke, because the head's obviously not preserved in healing liquids... so it's got to be... Filter...?! Hmm... you're right, Mellie! Which makes the other criminal... Rigs and Filter... Yeah... that's the only thing that makes sense! So... if Filter's responsible, then that might explain the residue on my ceiling. Which I don't have. And the only thing you don't have from my room is the bump on the victim's head... Ah! What do traces of chemicals and a bump on the head have in common?! You tell me, buddy, I'm too tired to think through all the multiple options... They both might knock you out! Well yeah. So? So... maybe... the victim was knocked unconscious... he woke up in the bathroom... and locked himself inside BEFORE being murdered! Oh, okay. But why'd he do that? If the killer was still in the room... obviously he would do that to protect himself! Oh yeah... is that it? That's it, right? Yeah, I think that explains everything...Whew... finally. This sure had been a complex mystery...  Hmmmmm... Oh right, the bonus question...Why did we bother with that thing? It was such a waste of time! Um, right... I was thinking about that a little... Remember how the casefile said that Mr. Archimedes and Mr. Decapito were co-founders? ...Yes. Well, the business card says Mr. Decapito is the founder... it doesn't mention Mr. Archimedes at all! Oh, I get it I think... Mr. Archimedes discovered he was being booted out of the company... something like that? Exactly! I think that's it! Submit!! Please like, comment, and subscribe if you like my deductions![BGM: A Matter of Simple Deduction]  Though I will not like your deduction... you are, nonetheless, correct. Your score on this mystery is 100 percent. Your answer to the bonus question was acceptable. Yeah, it'd better have been.I took off the headset and joined 779 in the hall. [BGM: Hotel Quail]  Do you know what I've realized? The television in my hotel room doesn't work. They're blocking off the outside world. Well, how long is this competition going to last? It's no big deal.He was right, we didn't want anyone to know what was happening in the world, as it might clue them in on what the point of the competition was. Do you know what this means? The Game-master cares about us after all! He wants to save us from the worst horror known to humankind Television. What's wrong with television? I tune in, sit down, and tune out. It's great. You meant to say, 'What's wrong with having an electronic device take the place of my imagination?'. Imagination is the secret to detectiving you have to have imagination to piece together clues. Huh. I can think of a few extremely unimaginative detectives... Are they any good? Not really. There you go. You really can't think of anything television's good for? At the very least, it's someone to talk to. I guess I deserved that for asking you an honest question. Let's go back to the lobby, okay? It has couches; time for my mid-mid-afternoon nap. You have a one track mind. And nobody's jogging on it because they're all taking an infinite break.I rolled my eyes, but was nonetheless mildly insulted. When we reached the lobby, it was mostly empty. I could've used a cookie, but they only stocked those on the criminal side for some inane reason. 779 walked over to the receptionist desk and rung the bell. With a longing look at the couches, I forced myself to walk up to the desk too. My assignment was more important than my rest. 'Soon', I whispered, reaching out towards my beloved memory foam couches. [BGM: Sleeper Agent]   Hello, 779. I'm afraid that contest outsiders are banned from entering the hotel. I don't know how she got in here, but she'll have to be escorted out.Haney was one of the characters to get new sprites in that patch a couple updates ago. CRAP! I forgot about Haney... as a greeter, she would of course know every detective... she was going to blow my cover wide open. Oh well. What a failure. To my mild surprise, the Game-master chime sounded... *ding dong diiiing!* You rang? This detective is not on the register and needs to be escorted out of the building. That's incorrect, she's in the contest. What? I was not aware of this... Detective, what's your name? Detective Mellie. What's going on?I didn't know! Uh, well, I was held in the Questioning Room... uh... Here's what happened: we discovered that Detective Chambers wasn't solving the mysteries. He was using an earpiece for the entirety of Stage One. The person really solving all the mysteries was Detective Mellie.Cool story, Greg. We'd already tampered a lot in the contest... why not scapegoat a detective to splice me in? So many ethical violations!! Ah well. We brought in Detective Mellie for questioning. Since kicking out Detective Chambers would have made the pairs uneven... we decided to simpy integrate Detective Mellie into the contest. That's why Detective Chambers is missing from the ranking this round. Huh.She checked the rankings.  It's true, he's not here. But why wasn't it announced? Some things must be done quietly... to maintain calm. Um, great. Maybe there should be a contingency for when a detective is expelled and the pairs are uneven. Hmm... That's definitely worth thinking about.Very bold, Greg. The speaker clicked off.  So, you see? No problem, right? I guess not. So, Haney! What's the next assignment? Don't say that in front of her, she's not inducted. So induct her. She's my partner, and thus she'll be pretty much chained to me, so there's no helping it.Was 779 unwittingly helping me gain access to T.A.D.S.? This was great! Well? Well...Haney's eyes shifted back and forth. She was clearly uneasy about me, but seeing as I had 779's endorsement... Okay. My name's Haney. I'm the leader of T.A.D.S. What are tads? It's an acronym. We are the Tentative Detective... no, wait. Give me a second here, it'll come to me. Couldn't even remember her own acronym... The Tentative Alliance of Detectives in Secret. Our alliance is made up of the best detectives both in and out of the competition. My our main goal is to meet the Game-master and ask him some questions. What's the point? I just solve the mysteries like a good little detective and mind my own business. Why should we bother the Game-master with tedious questions? The question I want to ask is far from tedious. It's a very, very important question. Oh right, hey, Haney, we actually got to ask the Game-master a question! What? Yeah, in the Questioning Room! Slakes asked 'what is your method?', but the Game-master completely dodged it! Hmm, okay, you went and spoke to the Game-master without notifying me. That's great. Hey, here's a thought, maybe tell the leader of T.A.D.S. when something like that occurs? Oh... right.   I apologize!! Whatever. It's no big deal. I cry internally, so... the tears are falling down my levator labii superioris muscle. Good to know. Hooray, you're inducted, fireworks and confetti and stuff. I'm sorry to cut your initiation short, but I need to give you guys the assignment before the next round starts, so we can't stand around and tangent all day. 779, did you get here in time to catch the rankings?He shook his head. Haney looked grim, or at least as grim as her expressionless face could look. Look.She pointed to the screens that listed the rankings... [BGM: Mysteries Everywhere]  What? Red July is... Huh. The top ranked detective this round is... It's... Sess?!
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May 19, 2024 17:58
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Ooh, we're getting into the inevitable ontological mystery, a bit.
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May 19, 2024 20:14
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Thinks with Fists and nell gonna make a comeback together. I can feel it.
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May 19, 2024 23:17
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Well yeah duh, what the game hasn't been showing us is that clearly thinks with fists has just consistently missed the leaderboard, in 4th, right?
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May 20, 2024 00:48
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 Detective 779 and his partner Mellie find out that Detective Sess, the narcotic detective, has miraculously placed first in the mystery-solving competition. [BGM: Mysteries Everywhere]  Sure enough, 779 had apparently outperformed Slakes this round... Red July was in second place for the first time in the contest... and Detective Sess had managed to take first place in the rankings. There were four reasons that I knew of that this could've happened: One Red July, 779, and Slakes performed worse than Sess... Two Sess was just really good at that particular mystery... Three The Game-masters decided to send him to the top... Four Sess outperformed everybody through method alone. The first reason was too unlikely to be the case. The second reason wouldn't get him in first; maybe second, but not first... and the third reason was impossible because the other Game-masters would've asked for my input before doing something like that. So, that left the fourth reason. Detective 779 glanced at me, and I knew we had come to the same conclusion. [BGM: Sleeper Agent]  Sess is like a detective on steroids. Personally, I believe that detectiving is technically a sport, and therefore should ban the use of performance-enhancing drugs. Anyway, it surprises me that he managed to make it to first. His mediocre method shouldn't have gotten him past fourth. What changed, I wonder? More importantly, how could he have gotten past Red July? If Sess was using his ordinary method, he might have been able to get to second, but the fact that he got first means something's wrong with Red July. This is your T.A.D.S. assignment: I want you to visit her room. It's number 232. Find out why she dropped the ball this time.Detective 779 nodded and gestured at me. We'll have Mellie remember the number! She's good at memory things. What's the point in bothering to Trigger Chain it when it's not linked to information? I'll just write it on my elbow or something in case you forget.I grabbed my marker and did just that. Haney looked irritated. Not everyone likes seeing my skin get turned into a diary, but I like how it looks. Like sort of temporary tattoos... in an indecipherable scrawl, that is. My handwriting isn't great. Actually, it's beyond awful. Off you go, then.We began the trek to Red's room. The hotel was large, certainly larger than the two floor bed and breakfasts I usually stayed at. It also smelled like awful scented candles for some reason. [BGM: Waking]  One of the mysteries of this competition... is how one detective could be better than another. Think about it. Something tells me you've done the thinking for me. So, just tell me what you've figured out. It's a question of hierarchy. Solving a crime isn't easy and there are tons of ways to do it. I'll make up an example. Imagine a murder's committed and the criminal immediately leaves a tooth at the scene. And let's say he left it on purpose, as a calling card because his name is the Dentist Killer of Wobbly Road. Every detective here has a different method of deduction, and each one would arrive at that conclusion differently. Roel would feel the tooth and figure out that it was false and not knocked from a mouth. Slakes would solve it as Sekals, from the Dentist Killer's point of view... Red July would take in the entire experience of the crime scene. The tooth and every other piece of evidence would immediately connect. Etc. Yeah, so the point is... that they're all good at their jobs? No. That they are unique. That means they can't get compared. There's no 'right' way to solve a crime. The top detectives should be random, as it's down to skill and not method. Did you know? Red July's not exceptionally skilled. Don't do that. You can't dangle a worm in front of me and then just reel it in. Fishing metaphors... are beneath us. Like the ocean floor below the tuna, covered in trash that we don't need to know about. I think I'm getting a headache. Forget my bad fishing metaphor. What do you mean Red's not skilled? You said yourself that it's down to skill. How could she not be skilled if she's at the top all the time? Red July is experienced, and definitely fast, but she's not skilled. Her deductions lack finesse. During the fifth round of Stage One, where we saw videos of the mysteries being solved in order to vote for the rankings, she basically stomped all over the case. She didn't respect it. I don't know what you mean. I kind of did, but 'Detective Mellie' didn't. She said the mystery broke the integrity of the contest. Because of most of the context missing... a detective investigating a real crime scene would've immediately been aware that the room could rotate. But I disagree. The contest takes place in a heightened reality... complaining about the realism is like complaining that the good guy doesn't get shot by the bad guy in a movie. Personally, I highly enjoyed that mystery. Oh, thanks.I'd been the one who suggested the idea for that mystery... Thanks? What for?Whoops. I mean, thanks for explaining why you think Red July's overrated. No problem!Whew... he bought it. After a good five more minutes of wandering around the hotel halls, we arrived at Red July's door.  779 scraped the door with his hand like a cat to announce his entrance... [BGM: Danger]  then sidestepped as a thin blade shot out of the peephole. What theI looked to 779 for an explanation. Red's always been a bit paranoid. Besides, it's T.A.D.S. protocol. If I'm ever about to be killed because of 'protocol', tell me first, okay?[BGM: Red]  Red July had painted the lampshades her favorite color spoiler alert red.  My hallucinations have gotten much more vivid.I held my hand over my mouth in case I caught her germs. Stop that, she's not sick. Hallucinations, you say? It's obvious she's been drugged. Why else would Sess have been placed first? Of course, there's the possibility that she just happened to catch an illness that matches most side effects of drugs, and Sess just happened to have a lucky streak... That does seem highly unlikely. It may not be Sess... try to imagine... other possibilities before jumping to conclusions... Somebody may want Sess out of the competition, so they're framing him by drugging you. 779 started running around the room. There's more to that theory why would Sess strike now? It doesn't give him an advantage to score first place this early in the contest. That means that this all could really be so someone else gets to go up a rank... Aha. Maybe they want to climb a rank higher because they don't want to get eliminated because of the cut-off. So the framer could be somebody at the bottom of the list. I will look into this! Meanwhile, stay here until it's time for the next round!He circled the room one more time and then ran out the door, knocking over a lamp on his way. ...I didn't know what to say. It's too quiet. When it's quiet, my thoughts get overwhelming. It has to do with my method. The air is thick with mystery... Ha, that's funny. I have the opposite problem. Hearing too much noise clouds my head. You're very strange, Mellie. You don't look surprised to see me, yet this whole competition I have not met you in person. Well, I was... helping Detective Chambers cheat, or something. So he's out, and I'm in. Yes, but... people are usually a little more intimidated by me. Uh, well... I'm just... very relaxed. I could tell, from your almost nonexistent reaction to my security measure outside... Oh, you mean the eye poking skewer you shoved at me? It's just a scare tactic I wouldn't ever intentionally maim someone. Uh huh.There was a moment of silence. It's too quiet... There was another long pause. It was starting to get really awkward... should I have followed 779...? Luckily, the announcement jingle played. *ding dong diiiing!*  There are currently 22 detective pairs. In case you don't remember, last stage we whittled all fifty pairs into just thirty. This stage, we've been eliminating the bottom two pairs every round... let's bring it down to 20 with our second detective voting period! The fifth round of the Second Stage will start soon! Please make your way to the lobby.Red July coldly walked past me into the hallway. It made me wish I had bubblegum to chew; I chew it to relieve stress, and the level of stress I was feeling right then called for a bench-sized bubblegum stick. Wait... you're not right in the head right now. Uh, I mean, you've probably been drugged... the Game-master is required to halt a stage if there's a serious problem. A detective being drugged so that they'll perform badly is definitely enough cause for them. Red July barely gave me a second look as she continued down the hall... Hello? If I perform well in spite of being drugged, that will be the perfect thing to put on my resume. Oh, okay. That seems normal.I waited a few moments before following her, so that I wouldn't have to walk beside her. Probably wasn't a great idea to hang around a talented detective like her... she was probably already suspicious. [BGM: Hotel Quail]  I arrived at the lobby, late on purpose. The announcement jingle sounded soon after. *ding dong diiiing!* Detective contestants. It's time once again for you to vote for your favorite detective. Like in Stage One's fifth round, we will be timing you as usual, but it will not factor into the rankings because this time they will be decided by vote. Blah, blah, blah, you've all heard this before.The casual tone indicated Greg. Please enter the elevator. It will take you to the site of the Second Stage's fifth and final round. All right! I'm excited for Stage Three. It's been a long road to this day. A day that I've been waiting for! A day to remember! Woo hoo.He held out his hand for a fist bump. I didn't return it. Stop being such a great contrast to my stoic and sleepy nature. Sorry, I'm just so full of youthful energy.What a nuisance. Was he calling me old? I'm only thi *cough* twenty-nine. How many times do I have to say that before someone believes me? That's such a lie. You're probably thirty-two. H-How'd you know!?Nobody's figured out my exact age before. I guessed. My guesses are... usually accurate. An accurate guess is an oxymoron. So's a youthful thirty-two year old.It was ageism, plain and simple. ...We boarded the elevator.  I was squeezed in with nine other detectives already, but Asper got in anyway. The elevator started going down. I remembered that Greg had said something about placing the fifth round in the basement or something. Oh well, they'd gone ahead and planned it without me. I was going to have to solve it in earnest. ...The elevator passed the basement level. Apparently the hotel had a sub-basement. The doors opened with their usual ding... [BGM: Silence]  We were in a large, whitewashed room with an ugly tiled floor, like you see in bathrooms. The smell of chlorine was permeating my nostrils. In case you're wondering... we carved out this sub-basement just for the fifth round. As you can see...Suddenly, our annoying warning buzz sounded. Ugh! I'm sorry, contestants, but there's been a bit of trouble. Please return to the elevator.The elevator doors shut and we began moving back up. What's happening? Was this planned? It seems that there has been a... virus breakout. We've quarantined the area. If you spot any signs of illness... tell us immediately. We'll send someone to help you soon. Until then, the round is postponed.[BGM: Pinprick]  The doors opened, and we were back in the lobby. I noticed that the exits had been closed off. A virus? If you ask me, it's the cake's fault. It was dry, not moist. And deceitful. What an incredibly timeless reference. So what? Food poisoning. Hotel food's one of theHe coughed, interrupting himself. The detectives around him took a step back. He's got the virus! This is so exciting! Shut up, you tourist detective. What do you think this is, hot potato? Oh no! I'm sick! It's got me! The zombie outbreak! It's here!! Would you calm down? Take a look at your arm... there's a pinprick. 779 stopped his histrionics and looked at his arm. Hmm. Well spotted, Mellie. Somebody must've injected me with something. I do feel a bit light-headed. I won't make the obvious joke. Thank you. Mostly because... I feel a little light-headed myself. Ergghhhh......*thud!* What the heck...?! Detectives all around me were gasping for air and leaning on walls... this was a total disaster! How had this happened?! Clark...? Kane...?! GREEEGGHH.....!
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May 22, 2024 01:18
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Wait, in the last mystery, why did anyone have a question about the room door being locked? Its a hotel door, they automatically do that. And the keycard wouldnt matter either, because staff can just make them at will. I was waiting for it to be a thing
is it just a kinda dumb mystery?
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May 22, 2024 05:02
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Domus posted:is it just a kinda dumb mystery? it's this
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May 22, 2024 05:13
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 Detectives Red July and 779 have been drugged, thereby postponing the final round of the Second Stage of the detective competition. Detectives are dropping like flies! What's going on?! [BGM: Ticks and Tocks]  I looked over to Clark, who was drinking his daily cup of coffee. Whenever Mellie was in the office, we'd bet on how many coffee stains would wind up on her shirt. Now that she'd been sent out to spy on the contest, it had gotten pretty boring. I'd even had to revive the classic 'Musical Desks' to elevate the tedium. Finally, something's happening.He put down his mug. Is it something I should care about? Well, look at you, Greg! That's something Mellie would say, if she was here. You're just like Mellie, except way less cool. Why, thank you. Oh, be quiet. It's our duty as the Game-masters to oversee everything with a discerning eye. If our eye wanders, how will we fulfill that duty? I say 'stand strong and stand on opponent's necks', and never give up. Oh great it's another speech. How'd you rate this one, Clark? About zero for invoking emotion, and zero for coherence. Everything else you can file under 'lackluster'. Look, 77-something is making a speech of his own.Something exciting was happening in the lobby... it was just like my favorite reality TV show, 'Something Exciting Happened in the Hotel Lobby'. 77-something was attempting to get out a word... No, a name... He coughed once more, holding up a hand as he collected himself. It looked for an instant like he was going to say it, but he suddenly collapsed. How dramatic. Detective Ether looks like she's collapsed too but she may just have fallen asleep to try to solve the crime. Camera four, on your right, Red's down. Look at them, they drop like little flies. Ha ha ha! I'm amused. Jenter's down. And Honor. Ha ha, look at Asper face punch the carpet! I couldn't stand his youthful energy... now he has no energy! Ha ha ha!  Okay, let's get serious. What's going on? Well, 779 was going to explain it until he keeled over. So now we'll never know. It's obvious... Sess drugged the top ranked detectives to make them perform poorly. First he tried to drug Red July, but she cheated to stay in first place. Right... But, finally it paid off, and he got in first. Well, now what do we do? Kick him out of the contest? Aww man, but he's such a warm and friendly guy! More importantly, if anyone finds out how much we screwed up by not catching this sooner... Yikes. That'd be bad. I was just imagining what would happen, in my mind... Hoo boy. No need to panic, Greg. I've got a bit of an idea up my sleeve. Oh yeah, what's that? Well, it's one of those mysterious ideas that I'm not going to tell you about right away. You'll just have to watch and learn from a more experienced Game-master. Yes, thank you for pointing that out again. Let ME just point out that I won Musical Desks, so... Nobody cares. Alright, let's get this announcement out, then... An announcement? To who? All the detectives are knocked out... Not ALL the detectives.He pressed the com button. ...Sess? Are you there?***** [Sess's Interview] [BGM: Interviews]  What experience have you had as a detective?  Uhh... lots of... experience. Private investigator. Four or five years, I guess...What is your method? There are many drugs on the market that can increase cognitive abilities... of course they come with many side effects... but if you know the right drugs to use... yeah, anyway, you can solve crimes with... them.Why do you want to win this competition? To... prove to everyone that I don't need to use drugs to solve crimes. That... my mind is completely... completely working properly all on its own.How well do you work with others?  Other people... I kind of can't stand other people right now. Maybe I'll feel differently later. No further questions. Were there questions?
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May 23, 2024 23:59
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 Detective Sess has used his knowledge of narcotics to sabotage other contestants in the mysterious detective competition! How will the Game-masters deal with this strange situation? [BGM: Pinprick]  Oh boy... I'm in trouble now...*ding dong diiiing!*  Sess? Are you there? Yes. It's just me. Well, isn't this disappointing? All of your competitors knocked out cold. This doesn't look good for you. I had no choice! The top three have been locked in the entire contest... that's what made me realize...  There's no actual way for me to win. Now, I know I said I don't... care about winning. That I just want to... prove my mental capacity off the enhancers... but... I'm... not using... everyone else is... that's why they're fast asleep. First I tried drugging Red July... But somehow she still managed to come in first place! So I had to drug Slakes and Asper... and when that didn't work, everyone else. Funny to call it an 'enhancer' when you've clearly been injecting them with drugs that hamper their mental acuity not increase it. Yes, yes... that's what I've done. Can you blame me? I can. Because you're at fault. You cheated. And, ordinarily, that would disqualify you. However... what would become of your partner, Detective Caprice? The pairs would become uneven. And... that won't do. So what's your big plan for me, then? I propose making you a 'Balancer'. If someone else is disqualified, you'll be disqualified too. That way, the pairs will remain even. It's not much of a deal, but on the other hand, as long as nobody else screws up, you'll be able to stay in the contest. Wait, but what if I do terribly in the contest? Then we would just eliminate you and your partner, just like any other detective. All this does is buy you some time. Either accept my offer... or be eliminated right away. Heh... heh, wait. You want me to volunteer for elimination in the case that another detective is disqualified... but I'M technically disqualified... and if you eliminate me, there's no way to even out the pairs! I guess... I'm the one who has you over a barrel, huh? Either make the contest more fair, or I won't help you even out the pairs. You don't have anything over me, though. You only think you do. It so happens that I already have an agent in the contest. I could pull them out when I eliminate you... it'd be a shame, but it would be possible. So no, I don't have to do what you say. Hmm... are you... admitting the contest isn't fair? I never said it wasn't fair, only that I wouldn't make it 'fair' according to whatever your idea of 'fair' is. And yes, there is a distinction. Hm... don't you think the fact that you couldn't stop me from doing this speaks to your ability to protect the detectives? As we both know, there are dangerous criminals just around the corner... but you couldn't stop me, a mostly harmless detective, from drugging every other detective in the contest. Would be a shame if the detectives knew about this... I'm bored of your lame attempts to blackmail me, mate. I have enough power in the contest to outmaneuver any accusation you throw at me. Yes, maybe the contest isn't fair. Maybe I don't protect the detectives well enough. But this is my contest, and they signed up for this special contest. In the event of an uprising... I can threaten to end the contest without a winner. ...Or to declare the criminal the winner by default though I hope it wouldn't come to that. So... Either accept my offer, or be eliminated. You have me... backed into a corner. I will do what you say... if it means I get to stay in the contest a little longer... Excellent. I knew you'd see it my way. So, how do we wake these guys up? Should be any minute now... but smelling salts will help. Good. I have a plan to explain everything... just sit tight.... Ughh... My head hurt.  Whoa... what happened to us? I was just about to explain everything! You see, clearly the person responsible for this... is... [BGM: Trickster]  Detective Sess! There would be no reason for the Game-master to knock us out... or even for a criminal to do so... Therefore, it must've been a detective. And the only detective whose method would involve injecting us with some kind of drug to put us to sleep... is Sess. So, Sess... why? Uhhhhh! You... you solved the mystery, well done. That's right this was another pre-round mini-mystery! Our fifth round was still being set up, and this bought us some time. Please make your way to the elevator now. Makes sense to me! Then why was Red July experiencing an issue well before the round started...? Beats me, but it had nothing to do with Detective Sess, I assure you. Now, let's get this round underway.Smooth move, Greg. He'd managed to sidestep pretty effectively... maybe it was time to forgive him for shoving me dureing Paperclip War III. [BGM: Sleeper Agent]  I'm disappointed... I wasted my 780th case on an absurd pre-round mini-mystery. Us top-ranked detectives really should've let some lower ranked detectives solve these things... Aren't you the one who decides whether a mystery counts as something to add to your name or not? A mystery is a mystery, even if it's a terrible one. Yeah, I guess... We boarded the elevator again...  Kind of a weird mystery, but it was pretty fun being knocked out! Not really. It makes me wonder... if he's willing to inject us with drugs just for a stupid mystery... what else will the Game-master stoop to?Good question. The answer was: whatever was necessary.
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May 23, 2024 23:59
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 It's time for the final round of Stage Two in the mysterious detective competition! [BGM: Ticks and Tocks]  Me and 780 were stuck in a long, boring line of detectives, all waiting for the Game-master's next announcement. I decided, after waiting an unbearable two more minutes, that it was much more fun to watch the line from a television than to be standing in it. What WAS it about TV that made everything interesting? Too bad it was banned. Thankfully, the Game-master jingle sounded shortly after. *ding dong diiiing!* I guess Greg had been caught up in an office game of some kind and forgot that he still had an announcement to make. The announcement started, and Greg started talking. He sounded slightly nervous, from what I could tell through the voice filter.  Ahem. Now begins the final round of Stage Two. I'm happy to announce that the Third Stage will be more of what you love: five new locked room mysteries!Groans issued from the ensemble. Just kidding. Actually, this is the last locked room mystery of the competition. I promise.Sighs of relief replaced the aforementioned groans. So.The television screen flickered and displayed a pool.  This is a mystery I created just for the fifth round. It's called 'Pooled Resources'.Slakes cringed at the pun. The pairs will go in, one at a time, as before. We've built two separate crime scenes for the M.O. Swap, and like the past four mysteries of this round, you'll be figuring out who imitated the crime and who created it. At the end, like before, you will be voting for the best detective pair. But, because it's the second round, and you are all a little more experienced... we're introducing you to the concept of minus points.Minus points?? I must've been asleep for THAT memo. It was interesting to hear all this from the point of view of a detective, but I was suddenly feeling homesick for my chair in the office. Had it only been ten minutes since I'd last gotten a chance to rest? I struggled to listen to Greg's monotonous voice. During the voting process, you can now down-vote competitors you don't like as well as voting for the ones you do. Think of it like a dislike button, whereas before you only had a like button. If a detective pair comes in last thanks to minus points, we will eliminate them. I could feel the mood of the room getting darker. A tall, bald detective on my right raised her hand. I can't see when people raise their hands. Oh uh, er... then how did you know... ah, never mind. My question is... what if we all make a pact to spend our minus points on the top ranked detectives? Detectives ranked lower could be artificially promoted, even if they're disliked. You know, like Detective Eastman. Heyooooo! Someone say my name? The fifth rounds don't come often enough for that to pose any significant harm. So then, what's the point? Using minus points, you can try to control who gets eliminated, whereas without them it's just down to who clocks in last and wasn't upvoted. Does that make sense, or do I have to break it down even more? No, that pretty much covers it.She looked down at the floor, embarrassed to have drawn so much attention to herself.  I glanced at my wrist, where I had written a few visual-based triggers for detective names. Her name flashed into my mind in an instant. Detective Everreave, the 'third eye' detective. According to the data I'd memorized, she shaved her head so that her hair wouldn't block her psychic powers. I wasn't sure if they were real or not, but her ranking wasn't great so they probably weren't. [NEW BIO: Detective Everreave] Detectives Arc and Quire, you're up first.The doors at the end of the room clicked open, and the slouched Arc and thin Quire walked through. Who are these random people and why do they get to go first?Why we had invited him was a mystery that even Red July probably couldn't solve. Minus points seemed to be invented just for him. You answered your own question they're randomly selected. Are you ready for a boring wait? Actually, I like the wait it lets me consult my fellow detectives. Since when do you care what other people think? It's all about being the big comedian with you. Better than a 'dark detective' with a 'tragic past'. Who are you talking about? I've had a really easy life.They continued arguing for five more minutes, and then to my relief me and 780 were called to go second. At least I don't stoop to sarcasm for humor! It's the lowest form of comedy. Well, it's good you try so hard not to make terrible jokes. The effort really shows. Yeah, yeah, you're both really hilarious, can we go solve the mystery now? We will table this discussion for later, Slakes... Actually, let's not.I opened door one, and 780 went in door two. [BGM: Silence]  I was next to an indoor swimming pool... and there was the usual headset resting on a hook on the wall. I put it on.  Here is the casefile, as usual...  [Pooled Resources] Four dead bodies were discovered in Hotel Quail's pool at 3 PM. Nobody was arrested for the crime. The pool was locked from the inside when the crime was discovered. You do not have access to the autopsy report. SPECIAL BONUS: What made things easier for the killer? And of course, the Suspects File. [Wanted: DRENDER] MODUS: Drender always twists her victims into strange shapes after killing them.  [Wanted: CARVER] MODUS: Carver is a chemist who kills his victims with various forms of acid.  [Wanted: BONES] MODUS: Bones kills her victims by breaking their bones.  [Wanted: SEEBECK] MODUS: Seebeck uses electricity to kill her victims. Oh, how I'll miss the Suspects File. I'm tearing up a little just thinking about it...! Goodbye, old friend!Clark was finding interesting ways to keep himself entertained... I walked to the edge of the pool and down an inclining slope that led into the shallow end. There was a drop off into the deep end, which I then climbed down into.  I hadn't really been involved with this mystery... this time, I couldn't use my ability to cheat. I would have to... actually solve it. Shudder. [BGM: Mode of Operation]   There's some strange device on the edge of the pool... is it a vacuum cleaner? No, it is not... that's a heat pump. It's essential for warming up big pools like this. How warm can the pool get? Depends on how long you run it... on my side, the heat pump is broken, and there are clearly exposed wires leading into the water... Water? My side's completely dry... Interesting...  Okay, there's chemical residue on the ceiling... None over here! Is it a sort of rule in this contest that if someone gets poisoned there's, like, stuff on the ceiling? As long as the poison's in the form of a gas... that would appear to be entirely accurate. 'Mrs. Waters'... she's a plain white dummy with... broken legs. And looking a bit closer, her skull's broken too. I don't have her on my side. My side is really boring. Sounds like it. There's a plain white dummy covered with a blue cloth... I'll move it over. The casefile says his name is 'Mr. Shallow'. I don't have him over here on my side, either. Okay, weird... He's completely plain? Wait a sec...  Okay, I just turned him over and it looks like he has a cracked skull... and a cracked spine. That... is the least anatomically correct spine I have ever seen in my life. I wish I had him on my side, so I could see it for myself! Um, so there's someone near the entrance of the pool... she's blue. The casefile says her name is 'Mrs. Chlorine'. Is my casefile completely different from yours? I don't have a 'Mrs. Chlorine', or anyone blue... seems like you're on your own there. Hmm... blue means poison, right? Yes. Okay, there's a red and black dummy covered by a heavy blue cloth...let me also move it to the side... Hmm... the casefile says his name is 'Mr. Swims'. I... also don't have a 'Mr. Swims'. What does a red and black dummy mean? Maybe he was burned in a fire? No...  There's slippery ice on the shallow end of my pool... most of it has melted away... Your side sounds very exciting, Mellie! There's nothing like that over here. So there's a deck chair and a glass of water nearby... That's not over here! Wait... this stuff isn't water... what is that smell...? I know I've smelled it before... Any chance you Trigger Chained it? Yeah, almost certainly... I made sure to catalog the smells of all sorts of chemical substances... It was time once again to use my ability... but this time, I wasn't cheating. What I needed to remember was the smell of a certain chemical substance... which required I think back to the time I spent with Doctor Kips. [BGM: Trigger Chain]     Okay, what's this one...? It's a good one to remember... hydrogen fluoride. Put it in water and it becomes hydrofluoric acid highly corrosive. I'm letting you smell the liquid form as a gas, it's also very dangerous. Pretty cool, huh?[NEW BIO: Dr. Kips] Yeeah... what other poisons and stuff do you have? Just wait til you hear about cyanide! Everyone knows about cyanide, Kippy. But did you know almonds have cyanide in them? Yes, I did... everyone knows that.Good ol' Doctor Kips. ...Now she's dead. But my memories of her live on... [BGM: Reasonable Reasoning]  Didn't seem like there was anything else to investigate... Time to figure all this stuff out. Okay... I think that's it. This seems complicated... Well, my side isn't. It's like we got two entirely different mysteries. I've pretty much already solved mine, it was so simple. Well, that's disappointing to hear... I'd have to tell Greg, Clark, and Kane to do better! What have you come up with? Well, on my end there are four victims floating in the pool... 'Mr. Charge', 'Mrs. Zap', 'Mrs. Shock', and 'Mr. Jolt'... It's pretty obvious that they were all electrocuted with the broken heat pump. Since there wasn't an arrest, I can only assume the killer is one of them. Wow, that sounds... incredibly lame. What a straightforward mystery. Well, if they're ranking criminals' imitations based on how fast they imitate the crime... then yeah, sometimes they're probably going to wind up with a crappy mystery. That's one of the reasons that speed as a metric for ranking detectives and criminals makes no sense...He was completely right... Does this mean... I'm basically on my own over here? I'll do what I can from over here... Okay... the most interesting thing I discovered was a glass filled with hydrogen fluoride. It is, obviously, one of the murder weapons. However, there is another obvious murder weapon... and it's invisible. Is it an 'Invisible Weapon', then? It most certainly is: gravity. It's an invisible force... that can kill you. True. Who do you think was killed by gravity...?Good question.  Pretty obvious. Mrs. Waters and Mr. Shallow! They both have broken bones... and yet, they're both in the pool... so maybe the pool was drained. Mr. Shallow is near the... shallow end of the pool, and the shallow end is also where the ice is... Ah, I think I see what you're trying to say, Mellie! Yes, Mr. Shallow slipped and cracked his head and spine on the ice, killing him! Makes sense... If the pool was filled with water, the ice would be really hard to see! Good point! You mentioned he was covered in a blue blanket? I think that may relate to what you're saying... What I was saying...? About... something being hard to see? What did he mean? ...Oh, duh. The blue blankets are to conceal the bodies while they're underwater. So, uh, Mr. Swims, I still haven't figured out what his deal is... I have an idea about that. You said the substance in the glass was actually hydrogen fluoride, not water, right? Did you know that when you combine hydrogen fluoride with water, it creates... Well, we can definitely rule out ONE of these on the spot. A type of acid, as I recall... hydrofluoric acid. It's very corrosive... Yes, so you see what I'm getting at? Mr. Swims was killed by... Putting hydrogen fluoride in the pool! Exactly. So that's three down one to go. Mrs. Chlorine... she was poisoned. Probably with a gas... ...wait a minute. I think I know what this mystery is all about. Really? Yes. Slipping on the ice, burning up in the water, poisoned by a gas... the main premise of this mystery seems to be...  Again, pretty obvious. These are all different states... solid, liquid, gas. I think this mystery uses the hydrogen fluoride as a weapon to kill almost every victim... which means the true nature of the ice... is that it was really frozen hydrogen fluoride! But there's one victim that hydrogen fluoride didn't kill... Mrs. Waters. The one with the broken legs and skull? I think that, like on your side, one of the 'victims' is really the killer... and Mrs. Waters fits the bill. She wasn't poisoned by the gas, isn't near the shallow end of the pool, and isn't red and black... she's by the diving board, which means... She jumped off and killed herself with sheer gravity. She also doesn't have a blue blanket, which means it's likely she was the last to die further proof she's the one who killed the others. Makes sense to me! Now all you have to do is explain how Mrs. Waters transformed the hydrogen fluoride from ice to liquid to gas... Simple enough... the heat pump. The hydrogen fluoride was frozen onto the shallow end of the pool while it was drained... and then the pool was filled with water. Mr. Shallow entered and slipped, killing himself through an 'accident'. It's a little coincidental for my tastes, but it works... He was covered with a blue blanket to conceal the body... and using the heat pump, Mrs. Water melted the hydrogen fluoride into the pool. That's when Mr. Swims swam in it, which obviously killed him... and another blue blanket concealed his body. The heat pump continued to heat the water until it began to evaporate into a gas... ...which is what killed Mrs. Chlorine. Mrs. Waters, the killer, locked the room, drained the pool completely, and jumped off the diving board killing herself. I think that explains everything. I do too. So, who created this mystery? Oh right, I almost forgot about that... Remember, everyone on my side was simply electrocuted... I had basically no fun on this mystery, just letting you know. Yeah, noted. It's Carver and Seebeck... Exactly, Mellie... exactly... Almost thought it was Bones for a second there... No, you didn't. Just making conversation... Hmm... I'm not sure... The bonus question. I didn't even get a bonus question. I didn't get anything interesting at all. Too bad for you. Okay, uh, the question is... 'What made things easier for the killer?' Okay... and the killer is... Mrs. Waters. Well, the only other thing that stands out about her is the little hat she's wearing. A little hat? I don't think you mentioned that before. Yeah, it's a greenish and gold hat. Like the one Haney wears?Haney...? Oh right, she DID wear a hat like that...  Well, if the killer worked for the hotel, that would make things easier! I think you've got it, Mellie! Now we can submit your deduction! Great. Submit! You are correct. Your score on this mystery is 100 percent. Your answer to the bonus question was acceptable. Thanks, Game-master... You're welcome, Detective. Great. Now let's get out of here. This pool smells terrible... worse than clown makeup. Yeah... [BGM: Mysteries Everywhere]  We walked back into the room next to the pool. It was pretty quiet now. Slakes was busy reading a romance novel. Mouse was concentrating on twiddling his thumbs. ...Hackett was asleep, with his fedora over his eyes... Roel was whispering something to Ether. Nell was sitting on the floor with her chin resting on her hands, bored but awake. Red July was leaning on a wall, and Honor was leaning on the wall in the exact same way. The sight, like most things, made me want to go to sleep. We're in trouble. Why? The minus points. They're going to be bad for the top detectives. Huh? Why? Remember what Detective Everreave said earlier? The longer we've stayed at the top, the more agitated the detectives at the bottom have become... Obviously, if the top detectives are eliminated, then someone else will have a shot... if the bottom seventeen team up against the top three pairs, then that's enough to eliminate four of us. During this voting period... there's going to be an invisible war between detectives.  There's not a single detective in this room that won't be voting against either Red July, Slakes, or me. And then they'll turn it around and vote positive points for whichever top detective they like the most. In the end, it'll be a test as to which top detective is the most liked here, and which one is liked the least. If that's the case, we're not in any trouble at all. Slakes is easily the most disliked of the top three. His attitude really gets on people's nerves. Actually... that's not true. The most disliked of the top three isn't Slakes... it's me.***** [Everreave's Interview] [BGM: Interviews]  What experience have you had as a detective? I have had six years of experience as a psychic... three years as a private detective.What is your method? By opening my 'Third Eye', I am able to see into the spirit world... the spirit world is full of the dead... they tell me who killed them. This competition won't feature real mysteries. Nobody will actually be killed... doesn't that make your method useless? I have many other spiritual methods to solve mysteries, when cases prove challenging. For example... the tarot deck... the Ouija board... and the apple slice test. Well, if you're confident you'll be able to solve them, I will consider your application... Why do you want to win this competition? I need money for the, uh... for the spirits. I use it in seances... How well do you work with others? I am used to working in a group... I was part of a detective agency called 'The Detective Circus'. We would perform shows AND solve crimes. I think I got along well with everyone. No further questions. I knew you would say that. Sure you did.
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May 25, 2024 16:43
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This is interesting: This is a mystery I created just for the fifth round. It's called 'Pooled Resources'. But he didnt create it. The criminals did. Supposedly. Are the criminals actually not involved in any of these?
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May 25, 2024 20:52
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Also, hydrogen fluoride is deeply, incredibly, impossibly corrosive in real life. If you sniff it, it'll probably kill you. Here is a chemist on hydrogen fluoride. quote:The shout "HF LEAK!" went out into the halls, and I'm told that the whole area set a never-to-be-equaled evacuation record. This was one of those drop-things-right-where-you-stand type evacuations, a real sauve qui peut moment.
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May 25, 2024 21:45
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Domus posted:But he didnt create it. The criminals did. Supposedly. Are the criminals actually not involved in any of these? Per the First Stage's Fifth Round: Game-Master, Update 9 posted:
So it was made by the Game-Master - or, rather, as we know since we've been following them, they as a group come up with it, as seen here: Mellie, Update 24 posted:
Mix. fucked around with this message at 22:38 on May 25, 2024 |
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May 25, 2024 22:35
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 Detective 781 and his partner Mellie have solved the last mystery in Stage Two! However, because of a new rule in the rating system that lets detectives give out minus points to detectives they don't like, the top detectives are in danger! [BGM: Trickster]  Um, excuse me? Who doesn't like clowns? I'm not a clown! What, but... isn't that your whole... thing...? I'm the end result of an evolved family line of clowns. I'm of the 'clownius detectis' gene pool. What I mean is, who doesn't like YOU? Everyone. You're just... deciding that? What about the fifth round vote? Didn't you come in third, like always? I wasn't talking about now. I was talking about the future. You see, during the course of this competition I predict that everyone here will eventually hate me. Okay.Past arguments with 781 had tended to go in circles, so I just gave up. It's due to my eccentricities. For some reason, dancing and Oreo metaphors are a hate magnet. Let's pretend you're right. How will we keep people from awarding you minus points? Easy! We use our golden tongues. But golden tongues are never effective without the gold... He reached a hand into his sleeve and brought out a bundle of cash.   This is from selling us out back in the Questioning Room! Ahh... I was wondering what happened with that... Wait, you're going to bribe them? It's the best way to make fast friends. Well, the best way for your money to make friends. But it's quick and it's effective. Here.He handed me a portion of the cash. No. WHY NOT?! I'm not going to walk around the room slipping people money and whispering 'vote for 781'... I'd feel like some kind of villain. A litle morally grey, but a villain nonetheless. Why would you do that? Because you just said... No no no! That's stupid, they'd just take the money and then give me a minus point! You show them the money and say: 'It's yours if 781 makes it past this round'. That way, they may even go so far as to recruit more people to ensure I win, maybe people that we would've had trouble convincing. Ohhhh. Well, that's fine then. Bribery! I'm excited. Good, I'm glad you're excited... Now go bribe some detectives! Helping me out helps you out too, Mellie!He did have a point. I looked around the room for some detective pairs who looked like they could be easily bribed... [BGM: Hotel Quail]  Like before, we can only talk to one option in the actual game, but I'll be doing all three for the LP! Obviously, we're going to start with the people we've never met before.  Detective White and Detective Porter...  It's Detective Mellie, right?[NEW BIO: Detective White] Yeah. I've heard a lot about you, Mellie. My 'Winning Bet' is that you're going to do very well in this contest. Do you believe in yourself much, Mellie? Well, I Let's put money on it. I think that by the fourth round, you will be in first place. How about we put 50k on that one? Uh, no. You're so under confident, Mellie? You lack self-esteem? I'm telling you that I think you're so capable, that I'm willing to put 50k on your success... yet you completely turn me down! What is... going on?! Uh, look, here's a... different kind of bet. I'm interested...? This... wad of cash is yours, if 781 gets third place or higher in this round's rankings. I don't want your paltry offering! No, no, I'll take it! I want your paltry offering![NEW BIO: Detective Porter] Good. What happens if he doesn't place third or higher? Nothing... you won't owe me anything. A little too good to be true...  I was planning to vote against that guy, but suit yourself, Porter. Is that so? I like 781... he understands how incredibly dull this profession is, and just goofs off. Of course, it is only because he is not financially tied to the hard labor of detective work that he feels he is able to do so... Why don't you find another job? It's a good job. I just don't like it. You know what I mean? Sure.Whatever would make him go along with 781's hairbrained scheme. Next up is Red.  Is there any way I could convince you to take this money if 781 wins?I knew as soon as I said it it would be pointless. No. I don't care about money. Do you know why I'm in this contest? I can guess... you have some superiority complex about stopping the criminal from winning because you're the best one to do it? My method involves taking in everything around me... I am aware of the gestalt of society. The gestalt of detectives in this broken country. I would not say I am the best detective prepared to take on the criminal only in order to inflate my own ego. Right, because you don't have an inflated ego? You just talk about yourself all the time. You aren't making me think of 781 in a more favorable light by insulting me.Whoops. Your arguments are without merit. Do I have an ego? Of course I do. I have to be conscious of it. I have to be conscious of myself and how I am connected to everything around me. Because it is vital for my method. I am aware that it is usually frowned upon for someone to talk about how good they are at something. But I see those frowns in my periphery. My main focus is on the work, and doing a good job. Because I do the best job of anyone here. I don't enjoy having to live up to that expectation, but I can and I do.Yikes. This was more than an ego trip, it was an ego international tour. Do other detectives hold no value to you, then? Of course they do. I can't do it all. But you're the best...? Quality, not quantity, Mellie....Right. Well, doesn't seem like you'll be willing to be bribed to help out 781... Help him how? By voting for him? I was going to give him a minus point for knocking over the lamp in my room. Uh, yeah, he does that.What a great conversation this had been! And lastly, well... let's see if Nell's less mad at 781 now?  Hey Nell... see this cash? The cash 781 got for selling us out?Oh... right. Nell was mad at 781... this couldn't possibly end well. How's it been working with Detective Day? Better than Clownfreak McHeadstand. At least, when she has a sunny disposition... sometimes she's under the weather. Ha ha. How has HE been? Well, he doesn't take things very seriously... Yeah. But he hasn't been awful. What a glowing endorsement. Well he certainly has a memorable schtick. Yeah. But it's like a bad Oreo: the cream doesn't stick to the cookies. He's just a dry, crunchy detective no substance. Yeah, I hear ya. Guess I can't convince you to vote for him. No, I was going to give him a minus point for being rude to me! Can't wait! No amount of money would sway me! It's $2325. Hmm... hmmmmm....! Do you have any... debts or anything... you need to pay off, by any chance? How'd you know? Word on the street is that I'm a detective. Oh... right. Hmm... I'll think it over. Great! Detective 781 was tapping his foot and exercising his eyebrows when I returned. I convinced about seven pairs. So we can expect... at least two more to vote for me. Same as me, sort of. By the way, do I get a cut of this? Shh! The show is starting!He pointed to the screen in the upper right corner, where videos of the detectives solving the mystery started to play. Thankfully, our video was short, though I suspected that if we got up-voted, it wouldn't be for the length of our segment but for all the carrots we'd dangled for the mules.   Here... enter your vote. This th-thing came out of what looked like a garbage sh-sh-shoot in the back. He was holding a remote of some kind with two buttons, one with a plus and one with a minus, and a rotating dial displaying various detective pairs. I decided to give a minus point to Red July... it would probably help out 781. Of course, this entire exercise was pointless, as the votes weren't really counted... but then again, we hadn't discussed minus points at all, so I didn't know if the others had something new up their sleeves. Just to be edgy and counterculture, I decided to vote for Detective Eastman... it was the first time a Game-master had ever voted in the final round rankings, as far as I knew. Detective 781 grabbed the remote from me and entered his own votes. I peeked and saw that he voted for Nell, which was... a little sad. The Game-masters could see which detective had the remote through the multiple cameras in order to identify who was voting for or against who. 781 passed the remote to Detective Asper, who had just come out of the crime scene. This one was tough! But I managed it! With the help of my trusty assistant, Slakes! Go swim in a poisoned pool, Asper. Just a friendly joke!The remote steadily made its way around the room, finally coming full circle when Detective Swinger finished voting.  Oh look, the rankings are going to be announced! I'm the clear favorite! I don't see you, Eastman... What...? WHAT!!*ding dong diiiing!* Detectives... the rankings are in. The top three detectives are...  Red July and Honor. Slakes and Asper. 781 and Mellie.There were audible groans.  Isn't it time for a shakeup?! Those six detectives have been there from the start!! Yeah! Be quiet, Eastman. You've been eliminated. I cannot help what the results show. I am simply showing you who the top three are. You have nobody to be mad at but yourselves for not doing better in the contest. Nothing but lies! This was so amusing. Detective 781 breathed a sigh of relief. Then he did a dance. See? You were completely wrong about people hating you. No, I wasn't wrong... I never believed that for a second! Uhhh...? You see Mellie, you must always be prepared for a terrible outcome! So I mentally prepared myself for failure! Good idea.I strongly suspected that 781 actually was, in fact, unpopular, if what I'd seen in the fifth round ranking was true... but we couldn't let 781 go. He was entertainment.  Guess it's the end for Detective Eastman... and that detective named Bobo. Oh right, there was a detective named Bobo. Would've been nice to meet them at some point. Yeah. Don't be so quick to forget me! The legend will live on! Detective Eastman, you have been eliminated. I know that! It was a hero's sacrifice. No. You shall all remember this day, because !He launched into an incredibly strange diatribe that does not bear repeating, but it was certainly memorable to those who bothered to listen to it. ...I did NOT trigger chain that moment.   Goodbye Detective Eastman! I liked that guy. Yeah, me too... we're so cool right now, being all counterculture and stuff. Which reminds me of a splendid joke! I hope it's as splendid as you say... A duck walks into a bar... And when he pays for his drink he says 'put it on my bill'? Heard it before.781 paused to shoot me an irritated glance. He kept glaring at me until I reluctantly waved for him to continue. ...The duck glances around and notices that two men in hunting gear are shooting craps.  So the duck takes out a gun and fires at the dice. The bartender says, 'Oh my god, what is wrong with you?!' The duck says, 'See, I can shoot craps with the best of them!' ...Is that it? Needless to say, the duck gets thrown out of the bar. Later that day, in the evening newspaper, a misspelled headline reads: 'A DUCK SHOOTS CRAP WITH HUNTERS!' Hahaha! Ha... ha.I'd honestly never heard a less funny quote unquote joke in my life. The moral of the joke is that to get the result you want, sometimes you need to do something incredibly convoluted that nobody else understands. I don't see how that moral applies ot the joke, and I don't see how it applies to what we were just talking about... and lastly, I don't think that joke was much of a joke. Guess you don't keep your funny coins sharpened, because you have a dull cents of humor! Thankfully our announcement chime sounded, because I didn't have a witty response... *ding dong diiiing!* Please make your way into the elevators, detectives... We soon found ourselves in the lobby. Wait here. I'll grab my stuff from the room.He ran off on all fours. I tried to shrug it off to those nearby. He soon returned with two luggage bags soon after, and we waited until the crowd had thinned a bit. My guess was that some people hadn't thought to pack anything before leaving for the hotel, and so had been living off of what we had provided.  Detectives! Outside, there is a line of taxis that we have provided to take you to the location of the Third Stage. However, I am not going to tell you where to go. You will have to figure that out yourself. The answer describes you perfectly. I await your arrival!The speaker clicked off and the crowd of detectives headed for the doors. Uh... what? Where are we going?I feigned my ignorance... I had been waiting for this moment the whole competition. I slammed my shoulder against the heavy lobby doors. They swung open reluctantly. A full blast of cold air hit me in the face. [BGM: Silence]  This... is why... I don't go outside... So, remember how Haney checked the note summoning us to the contest with a flashlight for some reason? No, I wasn't there. Ah, right. Well, I assumed that was to authenticate them... [BGM: Upside Down]  But.. the clue about 'something that describes you perfectly' has me thinking...! Ah... Good. He got it. Detective 781 took his name-hash-tag off and held it up to the sun.  Inside it was the phrase 'Earnest Nation Artist'. Simple! This is just an anagram...I held mine up too.  Eastern Instant Ratio...Like I said before... I was very good with anagrams. So when I was coming up with what the clue would be hidden inside the name-hash-tags... 'Nearest train station'... right? Right.He ripped up our tags and threw them in the air. Hey! Hey hey hey! I worked I mean, I liked my name tag a lot! We don't need them anymore, Mellie. They've served their true purpose: a clue to Stage Three. He jumped in a taxi. I had no choice but to follow him inside quickly. My hours of work lay sadly on the pavement... Take us to the nearest train station.***** [White's Interview] [BGM: Interviews]  What experience have you had as a detective? I solve crimes from my multimillion dollar home... I am the Batman of crime, you could say, ha ha ha! I think Batman is the Batman of crime... I wouldn't know, I don't read comic books! The cheap paper, the colorful stories and characters, designed to appeal to the lowest common denominator... disgusting!What is your method? A crime is like an investment. During any given crime, I have multiple investments going on various pieces of evidence. The likelihood of any given evidence's true role in the crime increases its value... THAT'S when I sell, leaving the other mystery-traders behind! Ahahaha!Why do you want to win this competition? I have an enormous bet going that I will win this competition... I don't want to disclose how much money... but let's just say it starts with a 'b'! Ha ha ha!!How well do you work with others? I work great with others. Every person on Earth even you, Game-master is an opportunity to make money! Even though you may not see it as clearly as I do. Money is the grease of society... and with it, I can lead any team. No further questions. Let me know if you have any more...!***** [Porter's Interview] [BGM: Interviews]  What experience have you had as a detective? I have been working as a private detective my entire life... I've never known anything else.What is your method? No amount of fancy methods and deductions beats hard labor. Solving crime is like any other kind of job to me: I show up, and work through the solution. I prioritize efficiency, dedication, and loyalty. There is no pleasure to be gained. It's simply what I do to feed myself and pay my rent.Why do you want to win this competition? Money. Money money money money money money money money. And I plan to work hard for it.How well do you work with others? Ha ha... you're talking to the right guy. When I work with other people, we become a unit... I know how to maximize efficiency and quality. No further questions. If you have any more, call me any time. Literally, any time of the day. ...Okay.
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May 27, 2024 16:51
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 Undercover Game-master Mellie and her detective partner 781 have called a taxi to take them to the next stage of the mysterious detective competition! [BGM: Sauntering Around]  The taxis left the hotel parking lot in a uniform line... seemed like none of the detectives had an issue figuring out our clue.  That was dramatic... 781 didn't comment. He stared out of the taxi window. You could've just told me the solution. ...instead of ripping the tags... they could've been useful. Maybe.What I was actually annoyed about was that I'd made those name-hash-tags by hand, carefully writing all one hundred of them in printed letters, which was incredibly difficult for a eprson with my questionable penmanship. Every detective is made up of four things. 10 percent curiosity, 10 percent intellect, 10 percent intuition, and 70 percent ham. We can't resist the showmanship of a deduction. I dunno... I've seen some reserved detectives. Like Nell, Mouse... And so you highlight a fundamental problem with this competition. The sheer number of detectives. He was changing the subject again... Nobody knows EVERY detective's name. I'll bet you can't even name the detective ranked thirteenth, can you? Actually Rhetorical question!Silence filled the air. The taxi tv started playing the clip-show over again. The weather forecast predicted rainy days ahead. The detectives ranked 13th are Rittoe and Day. I know. It's written on your wrist. You figured out my abbreviation code...? It's not that hard. STG2RND513RIDAY... Uh... right. Wait a minute, I thought you couldn't read.He didn't respond. We got out of the cab and walked up the steps of a train station... where the Third Stage awaited us. [BGM: Locomotivation]   Inside the station was a ticket booth, where Haney was stationed. When you're all here, the Game-master will begin the announcement.She was ripping random tickets and throwing them in the air to pass the time.  I looked around. The other five top ranked detectives were all with us in the station. Detective White was trying to avoid stepping on the floor by tying handkerchiefs onto his feet. A very long train on rails stretched out into the mountains beyond... there were eight sleeper cars hooked up to the train, as well as four dining cars and four lounge cars. The other detectives soon arrived... and Kane began her announcement... *ding dong diiiing!*  It appears like all of the pairs were able to solve the clue and find their way to the station. So, I will begin. As you may have guessed... this stage will use this train as a mode of transport between rounds. The competition's going on a bit of a tour... The detectives readied themselves. For Detective Mouse, this meant polishing his glasses fifteen times and pacing in a circle until he got dizzy. I wondered to myself whether he'd get sick on the train. This train has four sections. First Class, Second Class, Third Class, and Fourth Class. Each 'Class' has two sleeper cars, a dining car, and a lounge car. The top five pairs are in First Class, the next five are in Second Class, etc. We'll be on the rails for most of the stage, going all over America, and the trip will be long. If any of you get motion sickness, you can either brave through it or wimp out on us. Wow, too bad for motion sick people. Lastly, please be aware that smoking is not allowed on the train. Now... you are free to board. The doors of the train opened... Detectives pushed past me, towards the train, eager to get aboard. If you're confused about which Class you're in, look at the ranking chart at the ticket booth. Hmm, dividing people into various classes inside a train... haven't heard that one before... Neither have I. But I'm sure it won't produce any kind of tension whatsoever. You mean 'class tension', Mellie? ...Yeah, like that. True, I don't think it will at all.Though we had some extra rules in store for later stages that would help give slower detectives an edge, the helpful intention was dampened somewhat by the fact that the rules really only existed to ease my conscience.  While I was staring into space pondering this, 781 had already gotten aboard. He held his hand up to me in a strange gesture. What's that? I made it up. It's a hand sign that says 'I'm ready'! Uh... I hate to break this to you, but the universally accepted 'okay' sign means the exact same thing. Yes, but it means 'okay'. My hand sign means Whatever. Who am I to argue? Do what you want... Some points aren't worth pressing, and besides, I didn't want to be in a bad mood when I stepped onboard a train for the first time.  As soon as I stepped into the red carpeted corridor I knew I was going to have a blast. It called to mind every book I'd read about travel. I was excited to see what my room looked like. If the euphoric pinewood smell overpowers you... just remember that murder exists in every corner of the world. But don't let it get you down! Thanks for the great advice.Was that supposed to be comforting? I remembered how much Nell got annoyed with him... maybe she'd been right all along. 781 slipped into his room. ...By which I mean, he pretended to slip and fall into it. How amusing!  I entered my own room... it was pretty small. The bed had a plaque attached to it with the words 'Mellie Molokai' on it. The budget was getting bigger this stage. Upon entering your room you may notice that we've given you a present! The present represents an aspect of your method as well as being extraordinarily useful. I picked up the present... it was a marker.  As I'd thought clicking the cap three times activated a mini radio receiver/transmitter. The other Game-masters had devised a way for me to communicate with them. Hmm. Mellie, can I borrow your present? Why... did you not get one? I'll return it soon. Well... I didn't want him finding out about the present's spying capacities. Just two seconds. Fine, alright.[BGM: Mysteries Everywhere]  I quickly deactivated the radio function and handed the marker to him. Sounds of frantic scribbling came from his room. He then quickly reappeared at my doorway. Here.He handed my marker back. Uh... what did you do? I solved a problem... a problem that the Game-masters have. What problem?Other than the spying and the picking favorites and the contradictory rules and how a criminal could possibly win the contest, I couldn't think of any problems. They can't spell 781.I stood in silence for a moment as this statement slowly sunk in, before I realized what it meant. Do you mean... the name plaque in your room...  Had my real name on it and not my pseudonym, yes. The Game-master knows my real name.
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May 30, 2024 00:45
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 The Game-masters know Detective 781's real name?! It's time once again to look in on these mysterious game runners! [BGM: Moving On]  So the Third Stage is here. Hm.I carefully flicked a ball of paper into the trash. Perfect 10/10 shot. Yes. The Third Stage. Which reminds me the train's been boarded and cruising along, and nobody even knows where they're going or what the theme of the stage is. She pressed the intercom button. Clark shot me a look and I lowered the paper ball that I had been about to throw. Even the smallest sound could distract Kane while she was making an announcement. It's time to announce the theme of this stage... this stage is called 'Red Herring Mysteries'. In each mystery, there will be at least one misleading clue. In order to submit the correct deduction, you will need to explain what makes the false clue trails false and the true clue trails true. I spot a tongue twister in the making... There is one other important change with this stage: we won't be eliminating anyone. That's right! No matter how badly you do on the mystery, you won't be eliminated. We are also putting a temporary end to automatic partner swapping. We want you to take the time to get to know the other detectives in your 'class'. ...It will make your eventual elimination all the more dramatic. We'll arrive within six hours. That is all.She switched off the intercom.  Honestly, I don't expect anyone to get along. You'd be surprised. Good teams form fast. Before, nobody cared about eliminations... now they all kind of know each other. It's also where we start to see who'll be making it to the final rounds! Second and Third Class are usually made up of the boring detectives it's the two extremes of Fourth and First that are interesting. Some detectives don't deserve to be in Fourth. Some don't deserve to be in First. Once this stage starts and the ranking goes back to being time-based, we'll put everything in order. Whew, did you see the ranking the detectives shoved in our faces last round with their stupid votes? I don't think I even know who 'Tronen and Mackle' are! They sound pretty disposable to me, just based on their names. Let's start the criminal train now...  Oh right, there was a special train for the criminals. It was originally a circus train. We'd made it a little more appropriate for humans, but the smell of elephants sustained. And speaking of getting things in motion...! It's time we left this basement. Greg, did you throw out those paper airplanes and paperclip slingshots and tape targets and matchbox cars made out of matchboxes and paper handwoven baskets and origami swans and mice? What? No, I put those in the luggage. I thought so. Your entire suitcase is going in the dumpster. That's my stuff, you can't do that! Every extra second I spend staring at your trash lessens my lifespan by four percent. Are you sure it doesn't also shorten your temper?She shot me an angry look. So, I was right. Do we still need this betting chart? It's useless now...  I took the chart and glanced at it. Huh.It was a chart from the first round of Stage One. It had been tough to pick favorites based on just one mystery. As I expected, Red July had been the number one pick, but she was the only famous detective in the competition, so who else would we have voted for? But one of the pairs we'd chosen... didn't make any sense at all. At least from what I could remember about their performance in the competition... Come on, Greg.We were all packed and ready to leave. I helped drag the suitcases from the hidden passage that led to the basement.  The hotel was very quiet now that everyone was gone. Since the Second Stage of the contest was over, The Fifth could sell the hotel back to its original owner. Yeah, it's true. Fourth Class looks like an interesting line-up... the bottom tier detectives have been noticeably more like a team than the other detectives. Speaking of fourth class... ah, hm. Never mind.In the early stages, predictions were often wild and inaccurate, since the Game-masters couldn't get a good sense of the detectives' skills fast enough. But still it didn't seem to make sense. One of our favorite detective pairs to win had been... Ashdown and Woes? Who had voted for them? It had to be a majority. Once we got settled into our van, I needed to look up the footage of that first mystery...  We assembled outside, after determining that nobody was snooping about. Unfortunately, The Fifth had joined us. He would be sharing the van. That jumbled evening... Ugh. Clark began moving our luggage inside.  Little did he know I'd snuck my favorite game, Guess the Question, into his suitcase. The others abhorred it, and had tried to ban me from playing. You drive, Kane. Me and Greg will set up the equipment as we go. Very well. Hurry up guys, the train's not getting any slower. Clark, do you remember there being anything special about Ashdown and Woes?Clark frowned as Conver snuck past him and tried to crawl inside a suitcase. Not really. Other than that they used to be detective partners like, in the real world and not the contest. So we placed them together to see what would happen, and they had good chemistry but they did really badly mystery-wise. We forgot about it and paired them with other people. Why? Hm, nothing.The van started up. It was time to catch up to the train...
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May 30, 2024 00:45
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Mix. posted:
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May 30, 2024 02:56
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Honestly, i'd be more concerned if the game master who can borrow a bunch of convicted murderers and even pardon one of them wouldn't be able to find out someones legal name.
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May 30, 2024 03:01
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Mix. posted:
He has a real name?! 
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May 30, 2024 09:23
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 The next round of the detective competition begins! With the ranks divided cleanly into distinct classes, friction is inevitable! How are the Fourth Class detectives handling their place in the mysterious detective competition? [BGM: Cargo]   Do you think this is teak?[NEW BIO: Detective Woes]  The train car? No. It's plastic wood.[NEW BIO: Detective Ashdown] Oh. That's a pretty far step from teak. Someday I'll teach you all the different kinds of wood and wood varnishing. I'll bet you have them all memorized, right? How much of your life has been spent memorizing things? I haven't really bothered to check. But I would approximate... Most of it. Very accurate. So how is this train going to go all over America? Train tracks only go so far. Fun fact: there are 140,000 miles of train track in the US. That WAS fun! You're welcome.Little did I realize Woes's question was about to be answered in a different way. *crash!!* [BGM: Class Action]   What was that? WE'RE GOING TO DIE! So sorry about that, detectives... I forgot to tell you... this train doesn't just run on tracks. Look out the window! Is that... A highway?! There will occasionally be a jolt as the train switches from tracks to roads... I apologize for the inconvenience. The train is outfitted with special wheels that can reconfigure to travel on roads on the fly... pretty cool, huh?![BGM: Cargo]  Well, now I've seen it all! Don't say that, Woes. You have much more to see. I wasn't being literal. EXCUSE ME?! What's the problem? Nothing, I'm just letting off steam. You're right I should really stop taking things so literally. Yes, that is something you do... But there's something you should stop doing, Woes. What? Stop bringing up the arson case. Sure. I mean, I only mentioned it once. I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS, WOES! Alright. Want to go get something to eat? That suits me fine! Great, let's find the dining car.I was glad Woes changed the subject... she was ALWAYS bringing up that stupid arson case! Didn't she know how I felt about it?! No.. she DID know! She was just bringing it up to spite me! But now my thoughts were on food, so all was well. My shoes were sticking to the carpet... had they bothered to clean it? Typical Game-master behavior always shortsheeting the lower tier detectives. We had gotten the lamest floor, the worst hotel rooms, and now the cheapest train ever. The INJUSTICE!! We walked down the hallway in silence... me and Woes couldn't seem to hold a conversation, even though we had plenty of time to get used to each other again... I guess because we were so fundamentally different. I enjoyed having a sweet cache of facts to slam on unsuspecting crime scenes. On the other hand, Woes almost seemed to fear knowing too much, and trusted her experiences over knowledge. They say opposites attract, but that isn't true. People only say that because they learned about magnets in kindergarten. Apparently nobody bothered learning about actual human relationships in kindergarten.  Want to guess who's behind each door? That'd be a fun game... Too easy. How so? Oh, wait, did you memorize the rankings? Yes. Then you can tell me if I get any of them wrong! Uh... sure. Who is in Fourth Class with us? Describe them and I'll remember their names. Oh, uh... uh, um, uh... Are you a... what you would call it? Text thinker? I don't know. Something like that. I'm not a visual thinker, that's for sure. Alright, I give up. So soon? Yeah. Who's behind doors 39 and 40? Fox and Jillian. They somehow managed to be worse than us at solving mysteries. Hey hey!!She punched me in the shoulder. You're not so bad! Stop beating yourself up so much! What...? Is this some 'stop hitting yourself' taunt? Not literally, Ashdown. I'll stop beating myself up when you do. Fair enough. Door 39 opened... but it wasn't Fox or Jillian. It was... what's-her-face. I hadn't talked to what's-her-face very much... Now that we were down to forty detectives, maybe I'd actually get to know some of the other people in the contest.  Wrong.She had a smoker's voice, but it was oddly pleasant. Wrong? Hi, Detective Tronen. Fox and Jillian swapped with me and Mackle. Jillian couldn't get the window open, and she wanted fresh air.[NEW BIO: Detective Tronen] Ah, right, Tronen... how could I forget that...? Tronen had been at the very bottom of the tiers for much of the competition, but her newly acquired partner Mackle had helped her rise up. in spite of their efforts, they were neglected by the recent detective vote in the final round. Is Tronen your real name? No. But it's cool, right? Yeah.I didn't comment, but I gave my head a slight affirmative shake. See you around. Don't tell her I'm here. I'm not going to her meeting, if she asks.She shut the door. What? There's someone behind us...It was like a cheesy horror movie.  Detective Ens? ...I'm actually Detective... Inspector... Ens.[NEW BIO: Detective Ens] You inspect detectives?I tried to disassociate myself from Woes by pretending to check the rug for clues. I would tell you you're wrong, but you're... mostly correct. I'm about to have a meeting. Are you going to go? What is it, a meeting for anemics? Ha ha! On that subject, do you need some water or something?Woes wasn't someone with much tact to speak of. No, I'm always this way...  It's my method. But, enough about me... what are you? What do you mean? I'm a human? It's a trend now to use your method of deduction kind of like a brand... I'm the 'empathy detective', Sess is the 'narcotics detective', etc. Oh, in that case I guess I'm the 'chaser detective'! As in, chasing down the criminal. Yes, I investigate weak alcohol! Ha ha ha! But anyway, let me introduce you to my partner. Ashdown's the Trivia... detective. Yeah, he's pretty trivial.She'd made that joke fifty times already. Funny.She wasn't laughing.  She started walking down the hall, taking small, faltering steps. Where's the meeting? ...The dining car. It'll be all the Fourth Class detectives... except Tronen. I can't find her anywhere.She feebly clutched at the wall for a moment, then righted herself and managed another shaky step. Hey, pick up the pace, pal! Just go there, I'll get there in my own time. Sounds good to me. Come on, Woes.We got to the dining car fairly quickly after that.  There were two booths to sit at apparently you were forced to sit with other people while you ate. We slid into the booth awkwardly, all while being watched by everyone else in the car.  Woes turned to a waiter. It was the same person who had greeted us when we first entered the contest... the original what's-her-face. I'd like the '77-Surprise'. What are you having, Ashdown?She always decided so quickly!!  I looked at the ridiculous menu options... The, uh, Sess... Salad? i'm sorry.She didn't LOOK sorry. I didn't hear you. HE'S HAVING THE SESS SALAD!Sigh. I thought Sess didn't place first last round? I think it's just 'celebrity' detectives. Noman's on there and he's in Fourth Class with us. But seriously, what's in the 'Sess Salad'? Drugs? Ha ha! It actually does have a nondescript 'powder' listed among the ingredients... I stopped talking... the other detectives in the booth were making me uncomfortable with how silent they were. Woes cleared her throat. Ah, are you all here for the meeting?  Yeah. We're just waiting for Ens, right?The sound of Ens's footsteps came from beyond the dining car door. Any second now. Any second.Finally, the door opened.  Does everyone need... introductions...? Raptor and Ens. Mackle. Jillian. Fox. Pointing's rude.[NEW BIO: Detective Fox] For some reason, even though he had said it quietly, it felt like everyone at the table had heard him. It seems like Woes already... knows everyone. Okay... I call this meeting to order.***** [Ashdown's Interview] [BGM: Interviews]  What experience have you had as a detective? I worked as a detective in the MVPD for about a decade... but that was a few years ago.What is your method? I use all the data I've memorized to my advantage. Want to know who did it? Know everything you can about everything you can... and then you'll know that, too!Why do you want to win this competition? My purpose in the competition is to find out who the most dangerous criminal is...  ...could it be... the one... who I couldn't stop...?How well do you work with others? Even if the person I'm working with is super annoying... I try my best to get along well with them. No further questions. I hope to hear from you soon.***** [Woes's Interview]  What experience have you had as a detective? I've been in the MVPD for thirteen years! It's been great! Ha ha ha!What is your method? I focus almost entirely on catching the culprit... anything to do with ID-ing the suspect, I sniff it out almost immediately. Then comes the fun part: Chasing them down in my car, sirens blaring!!Why do you want to win this competition? I'm looking for someone... he's a detective. I don't know where he went, he doesn't work at the department anymore... it'd be nice to find him again... How well do you work with others? I'm a real team player! Maybe not a leader type, but I follow orders really well! No further questions. What a nice chat we had!
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Jun 1, 2024 00:18
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This is where the game bombards you with names and faces of various people. Was honestly kind of hard to keep track when I played that.
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Jun 1, 2024 07:00
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 Detectives Ashdown and Woes have stumbled across a meeting of Fourth Class detectives, organized by Detective Ens. [BGM: Logical Emotions]  Why are we here? Did you want to strike a deal with us?[NEW BIO: Detective Mackle] No... I'm here to warn you. Uh, the psychic detective is Everreave.Ens looked annoyed. What are you here to warn us about? Something all of us have... feared... since we wound up in the bottom tier. The edge... of the world. Of OUR world.  The red line.[NEW BIO: Detective Raptor] Yes...She took a sip of Mackle's drink. Hey! The red line is within the bottom tier. It's a term that refers to the rank, and ranks below it, that will no matter what lose in that particular stage. As long as you know what rank the red line is, you can aim to get above it. Last round it was Rank 20, right? Yes. The Game-master will tell you what it is if you ask. So what's the red line this time? Rank 20. Remember? The Game-master told us no eliminations this stage. It's a little optimistic to believe the Game-master. He's probably lying. Don't dismiss optimism. After all, in spite of everything, you're an optimist at heart as well. In spite of everything? What, so you think I've had some sort of horrible experience? Everyone here has... that's how I know... that you're all good detectives. You don't deserve to be here, at the bottom. That's why... we're going to shoot for the top.  The top tier?! Wait, how?[NEW BIO: Detective Jillian] We have... a few options. I can think of four. And all of them involve me.One of his teeth fell out. He popped it back in quickly. I tried to not visibly retch. Shall I... lay the options all out for you?She tried to pour more water into Mackle's glass, but spilled it all over the table. The waiter ran over and wiped up the mess. Your orders are coming shortly. But... the Mouse Burgers will take some more time to cook before they're ready. Who ordered the Mouse Burgers? I never want to hear those two words in that order again. Do you want me to bring out the other food when they're all equally done... or one at a time as the chef finishes them...? Option One. ...By the way, do you have a map of the train on... hand? Yes, one moment. Did you get how when she said 'Option One', she simultaneously addressed the waiter AND us, and is now showing us Option One?! It's something only someone paying attention would get someone who followed the teachings of detective greats like Sherlock Holmes!! Here we go... Sherlock Holmes practically preaches observation! It's important to observe and consider everything and everyone to always second guess yourself and your judgments. ...At least, that's what he'd say if his methods were converted into lecture.Oh right. Jillian was the 'Holmes detective'... or at least that's what she called herself. Everyone else called her the 'fangirl detective'. She'd been switching partners like crazy the entire competition almost as much as Detective Jenter. Her methods were lifted right from Arthur Conan Doyle's books, but something must've been lost in the translation to practical application, because she hadn't solved one clue since she'd arrived. This whole contest is a bit like the Red Headed League. Who's to say we're not all here to waste time while some criminals are on the loose Shut up, Jillian. As I was... trying... to say. This round, we must move up at least to Third Class. That'll be ahead of the red line. Elaborate. How will we do that? The best option... is Option One. Using each other's strengths against each other's weaknesses.The waiter suddenly arrived with a map, and the food. Ens took the map, and pointed to the diagram of the train's upper classes. The first thing... to understand... is that the rankings will change drastically after this stage. There will only be three stages left... This is our best chance to climb the rankings... if... we want to stop the top... three from being Red July, Slakes, and Heck all contest... Heck? Who the heck is that?It sounded like a first name, and I didn't know any of the detectives' first names except for myself and Woes, of course.  Heck is our little nickname for Detective 781. Why?She was, appropriately, munching her 77-Surprise at that very moment. We call him 'Heck' because he is one heck of a detective. Nobody can be bothered to remember all those numbers. Anyway... the top tier's going to change. The key... to getting into it, once popularity's out of the picture, is time. We need to be as efficient as we can. Who here can tell me... which Third Class or higher detectives they know they can realistically beat? I have a good chance of beating Detective White. Most of us do. His method relies on chance. Detective White... is ranked tenth currently. It's a bit of a stretch, but maybe you could... do it. I can easily beat Detectives Nell and Day. Nell is little more than a 'B-list celebrity'. She was Heck's partner, which put her in the consciousness of the public, but how great is her method really? Nell's in ninth place... Heck's going down! He's nothing more than a gimmicky shill! He's bought and paid for by Big Circus! A pale imitation of the quirks of the great, the amazing Sherlock Holmes You can't take on Heck, Jillian. It's... he's... well, I agree with what you said about him. But as falsely eccentric as he is, he comes in at the top consistently.Ens slurped up her Nell Noodles and sighed. Do you see the problem... with yourselves? You're thinking inside a box that doesn't exist. Last stage, Slakes and Heck teamed up to solve a mystery together at the same time, in the same room. We found out that that is considered cheating. However, the Game-master...
You okay?She didn't sound like she actually cared. ...Yes. I am. Ahem. The Game-master didn't expel them from the contest. Now, we assumed this was because The Game-master didn't want to eliminate the top-performing detectives... and we were... probably right. But this stage, there are... no eliminations for anybody. Why not bend the rules a little? What do we have to lose? Ooh. What are we going to do? I think Raptor... has the answer for you... Raptor grinned and pulled his tooth out of his mouth. Raptor's like Inspector Gadget, except he's not fictional. He sold bits of his body on the black market in exchange for mechanical replacements. My teeth are communication devices. I have enough for everyone to use. We can use them to help each other out, just like Slakes did when he paired up with Heck and Nell... Sounds good.Raptor tossed her a tooth. Sounds poorly premeditated. I don't want to stick a tooth in my ear. Ashdown, we've been struggling the entire contest. Don't you want to finally rise up in the ranking? Sure, but this seems doomed to fail. How do you know nobody will find the tooth? Me and Ens cooked up this scheme in Stage Two, right after the Slakes and Heck incident. We practiced it with Chalk and Olish a detective pair that was recently eliminated, probably because they lost the creativity to solve the crimes after we'd been giving them the answer sheets. But for you guys, it should work. Nobody suspected. It's worth a shot. They can't kick us all out right? That's the spirit!He tossed me another tooth. I threw it at Woes, who caught it awkwardly; I then rubbed my hands thoroughly with my napkin. Tell Tronen the plan when you get back to your compartment, Mackle. Remember, the Game-master placed bugs in our rooms, so use sandwich code, since I won't be here to protect you with my ears. Your ears are bug frequency disruptors? You guessed it. Sandwich code is boring. Me and Tronen taught ourselves sign language. Then use that. Until then... this meeting is adjourned. Hm. What about Detective Noman and Detective Rustle? They're also in Fourth Class. Do they get teeth as well? Detective Noman is on his own. Nobody likes him. Why would they? He hates people. Still... I'd never met Noman personally, so I didn't have any basis for feeling sorry for him, but I'd also never heard any evidence that he was somebody to be hated. If it makes you feel any better... He's Option Two.***** [Raptor's Interview] [BGM: Interviews]  What experience have you had as a detective? I've had five years of experience as a private detective.What is your method? I have attempted to replace as many parts of my body as I can with prosthetics. I am attempting to become the world's first Theseus Person. Eventually, when over ninety percent of my body is prosthetic, I will officially become more robot than human. The future is robotic.Why do you want to win this competition? With the money, I will be able to purchase more robotic parts for myself.How well do you work with others? I think I work better in a group than alone. Depends on the group, though. No further questions. That was easy enough.
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Jun 2, 2024 15:56
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Mix. posted:Eventually, when over ninety percent of my body is prosthetic, I will officially become more robot than human. Well, that's just math!
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Jun 2, 2024 16:01
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This definitely seems a bit odd, pacing-wise. We've been getting a steady drip of new detectives (and occasional criminals), and now suddenly in this train it's a whole new cast all at once. I wonder what the author's intention was for that, or if they were conscious of it at all?
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Jun 2, 2024 22:47
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| # ? Jun 10, 2024 17:34 |
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idonotlikepeas posted:This definitely seems a bit odd, pacing-wise. We've been getting a steady drip of new detectives (and occasional criminals), and now suddenly in this train it's a whole new cast all at once. I wonder what the author's intention was for that, or if they were conscious of it at all? My theory is that this is some massive, elaborate pun with all the detectives' names. On par with Asimov's Death of a Foy.
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Jun 2, 2024 23:27
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