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I got a reputation for having a big wang at work because of one girl. the girl mentioned has a reputation for liking big wangs, so she has agreed to be the arbiter. ...it's going to be awkward if I don't get some form of action out of this and this is not a stealth brag topic, it is literally the opposite. I just think it's a funny situation I've gotten myself into. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST) |
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Mar 20, 2015 17:55
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| # ? Jun 11, 2024 04:46 |
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this one weird goon gets his coworker's friend to measure his dick. you won't believe what happens next! |
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Mar 20, 2015 18:01
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nice humble brag op. I'd kill to see a girl. |
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Mar 20, 2015 18:01
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BYOB Ross posted:nice humble brag op. I'd kill to see a girl. hell, that's the easiest way to do so |
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Mar 20, 2015 18:03
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Nice. I love having sex with women who appreciate my huge pe n is. |
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Mar 20, 2015 18:04
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Get out of BYOB
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Mar 20, 2015 18:04
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why go through the effort op ill do it for you
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Mar 20, 2015 18:07
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guwahahaha, it's really wacky, the predicaments that my HUGE DICK gets me into
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Mar 20, 2015 18:08
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gently caress. marry. t-rex posted:Nice. I love having sex with women who appreciate my huge pe n is.
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Mar 20, 2015 18:08
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hey all, got a female coming over to measure the size of my alabama white snake (thats CODE for my dick)later today, just gonna leave this thread here in case anyone wants to know sick deets about my member, for example it's size, girth, weight etc. or w e can chat about dicks and stuff haha, nothing too serious. in case anyone thinks im stealthily bragging about the size of my er... cock, or the fact that a girl wants to put a ruler next to it, I'm not. This is actually an overt brag about the size of my genitalia in case you didn't know. cheers ---------------- |
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Mar 20, 2015 18:08
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just post ur dick here. I'll judge it. |
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Mar 20, 2015 18:08
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pm it to me. that way if i post it here ill get banned for homegrown, so your dick pic is safe.
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Mar 20, 2015 18:11
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Ein cooler Typ posted:I got a reputation for having a big wang at work because of one girl. the girl mentioned has a reputation for liking big wangs, so she has agreed to be the arbiter. this story is not internally consistent. you say "I got a reputation for having a big wang at work because of one girl" This seems to suggest this girl spread a rumor about your big dick. But, then you say, "she had agreed to be the arbiter" which implies she hadn't seen it yet. Why would she spread rumors about your big dick sight unseen? It seems more likely that you casually told your coworkers about how big your dick was, which is weird. If this story is true, I'm guessing the 'because' is false. |
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Mar 20, 2015 18:12
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I told her I had a big wang but she hasn't seen it and she spread the rumor
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Mar 20, 2015 18:14
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"so, rumor has it you've got a big dick." "yeah, I started that rumor." |
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Mar 20, 2015 18:17
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landy. posted:pm it to me. that way if i post it here ill get banned for homegrown, so your dick pic is safe. i can confirm that landy has done this for me in the past and is very trustworthy |
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Mar 20, 2015 18:17
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I don't see the problem here op, if you got a big dick just let her measure it. 
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Mar 20, 2015 18:18
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Koishi Komeiji posted:I don't see the problem here op, if you got a big dick just let her measure it. Maybe the secret is that the doesn't actually have one. He just heard she liked them and wanted to impress her. Now he's in trouble, scrambling to find optical illusions of magician trucks to help him pull this one off. It's like a less like able version of Larry David |
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Mar 20, 2015 18:20
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joke_explainer posted:Maybe the secret is that the doesn't actually have one. He just heard she liked them and wanted to impress her. Now he's in trouble, scrambling to find optical illusions of magician trucks to help him pull this one off. It's like a less like able version of Larry David Tell her you have performance anxiety OP... Or that it's cold and you need someplace warm to warm it up in... Or go 2 your Dr and get a sample pack of viagra |
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Mar 20, 2015 18:27
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are you going to tell us the results later?
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Mar 20, 2015 19:07
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hey guys i have a large penis and a girl is going to see it what happens if she kisses it??? |
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Mar 20, 2015 19:09
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how big is your dick. answer this question or face the consequences |
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Mar 20, 2015 19:09
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google THIS posted:"so, rumor has it you've got a big dick." |
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Mar 20, 2015 19:10
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post your dick |
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Mar 20, 2015 19:14
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if you don't post your chorizo yo're banned
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Mar 20, 2015 19:18
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hello my name is ein cooler typ and it has come to my attention that some of you are interested in knowing more about my dick. lets begin with the testicles. some people think the testicles are not technically part of the dick and I can respect that but in my case the testicles literally are part of the dick, they do not hand separately from the taintspace behind the shaft but in fact dangle halfway down the shaft like a roosters wattle. I assure you however thay theyre fully functional. With that out of the way, lets consider each testicle separately. Left testicle: you’ll notice I don’t call my testicles “balls” and lefty is the reason why; this testicle is basically a hairy pyramid. The central chamber, easily accessible by a spacious hallway once you’ve discovered the entrance is full of beautiful but non functional sperm to confuse would-be robbers. The actual “home of the mummy” (sperm) is reached via a hidden passage (Vas deferens) co ncealed behind a statue one third of the way down the hallway. Right testicle: the right testicle is a ball all right, it’s a baseball because I’m a true blue American. My right testicle features a cork center wrapped in yarn and covered in two strips of white horsehide tightly stictched together. It is signed b y the 1989 oakland athletics who not only swept the alcs that year but beat their cross-Bay rivals the San Fransisco giants in a classic world series and thus has sigifnicant collectible value having been signed by not only mark mcguire and jose Canseco but legendary base-stealer ricky Henderson, hall of fame manager tony larussa, and the 6.9 (lol) Loma Prieta earthquake which interrupted game 3 mere minutes before it was scheduled to start  the signature of the loma prieta earthquake, on my balls. I hope that because it is a close-up picture it is safe for work, please don’t probate Ok so now, my dick. because of the size its better to talk about my penis in terms of regions rather than as a whole.t he reason I haven’t posted a picture of my coworker measuring it is that she’s still going. she had to hire a surveyor. in truth certain regions of my wang are too far away for me to have direct knowledge of them, so some of what im writing here is summarized from the journal entries of the various cock explorers who have undertaken the perilous journey up the shaft. Beginning with the region which is over the horizon, reports differ on whether I am circumcised or not. under certain atmospheric conditions which increase the clarity of the intervening medium I sometimes fancy that i can see a slight fleshy protuberance of the corona glandis which would indicate that i am as the jews would wish me to be. At the same time the sheer manpower, to say nothing of custom-made shears which such a project would necessitate argue against it. spending no more time on this mystery: all sources agree that my dickhole is graced with a single tooth, flat and sharp like an incisor which makes my peeny, when regarded from the front look like “a drooling idiot” (journals of Juan de las Pelotas). Moving on to regions that are within the reach of high powered binoculars, the region behind the glans but in front of my testicles is a wild windwept plain inhabited by tribes of noble, savage horsemen who have developed an immunity to the secretions of my herpetic lesions; their society, though patriarchal in the extreme is dominated by the worship of a mother-goddess whose female attendants are tasked with chanting long penile-paeans to my fruictifying member. For instance. One of them might call it her little dille, her staff of love, her quillety, her faucetin, her dandilolly. Another, her peen, her jolly kyle, her bableret, her membretoon, her quickset imp: another again, her branch of coral, her female adamant, her placket-racket, her Cyprian sceptre, her jewel for ladies. And some of the other women would give it these names,—my bunguetee, my stopple too, my bush-rusher, my gallant wimble, my pretty borer, my coney-burrow-ferret, my little piercer, my augretine, my dangling hangers, down right to it, stiff and stout, in and to, my pusher, dresser, pouting stick, my honey pipe, my pretty pillicock, linky pinky, futilletie, my lusty andouille, and crimson chitterling, my little couille bredouille, my pretty rogue, and so forth. i have never heard these chants myself but reportedly they involve complex counterpoints and hypnotic rhythms which may give rise to strange hallucinations and sudden rages when paired with a psychoactive liquor the horsemen brew from the residue of my seminal fluids. The final region of my dick is a jungle of lush hair, home to over 700 unique species of birds and insect, three kinds of tree frog, and a rare giant panda. The thicket is too dense for human habitation, unbroken except for the clearings around the horny pustules that erupt from the base which I call “fairy rings” because they glow in the dark, and except for one small clear-cut space I maintain near the pubis, upon which I have built a shack for the caretaker of my penis. The role of the caretaker is to provide for the livestock and maintain the machinery necessary to pump their blood into my dick during erectile events. given the immense girth and reach of my dick, the loss of bloodflow to other parts of my body would kill me every time I get a stiffy, so a series of biometric sensors have been rigged up to provide early warning in case of tumescence. When the alarm goes off, the caretaker starts the machines which drain the sheep, cattle, and pigs of their blood and transfuse my woody with the life essence of animals. A dorsal drainage canal run subcutaneously down the length of my dick releases the excess blood once arousal has dissipated. Obviously theres a lot more I could say about my dick but I’m over my word count as it is. I hope that you understand why there haven’t been any pictures yet (my coworker entered the hairy region several days and has not retuned) , and why I cant take them myself (do not own camera with panorama mode or sufficient zoom). Sincerely yours ein cooler typ Somebody fucked around with this message at 19:21 on Mar 25, 2015 ---------------- |
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Mar 20, 2015 19:19
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Ein cooler Typ posted:mu dick thats a ban |
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Mar 20, 2015 19:20
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BYOB Ross posted:thats a ban |
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Mar 20, 2015 19:21
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S6E9 - "The Rumor" George tells a female coworker he has a large penis and now has to prove it. Kramer insists he has just the product George needs. |
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Mar 20, 2015 19:22
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how many lego long is it? |
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Mar 20, 2015 19:24
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BYOB Ross posted:post your dick came to say this |
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Mar 20, 2015 19:26
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Ein cooler Typ posted:mu dick If you don't post a real picture, of your dick, I'm gonna ban you |
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Mar 20, 2015 19:27
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if, on the other hand, you post a picture of yourself with your coworker measuring your dilz, smiling, and giving the camera a thumbs up, along with a sign that says "I love weed. RZNV," I'll give you a new title and sticky this thread |
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Mar 20, 2015 19:28
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GEExCEE posted:if, on the other hand, you post a picture of yourself with your coworker measuring your dilz, smiling, and giving the camera a thumbs up, along with a sign that says "I love weed. RZNV," I'll give you a new title and sticky this thread is this a real mod challenge? 
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Mar 20, 2015 19:30
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GEExCEE posted:if, on the other hand, you post a picture of yourself with your coworker measuring your dilz, smiling, and giving the camera a thumbs up, along with a sign that says "I love weed. RZNV," I'll give you a new title and sticky this thread aw yeah |
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Mar 20, 2015 19:31
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google THIS posted:is this a real mod challenge? does this mean i can do the same thing and decide his fate?
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Mar 20, 2015 19:32
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bookmarking this thread for incoming dick pic or ban
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Mar 20, 2015 19:36
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landy. posted:does this mean i can do the same thing and decide his fate? yes |
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Mar 20, 2015 19:37
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definitely |
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Mar 20, 2015 19:37
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| # ? Jun 11, 2024 04:46 |
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dick pic dick pic dick pic
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Mar 20, 2015 19:38
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