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 Welcome BackYour reigning champion  Last year's Final Bracket  It's the off season. We all hate it. What better way to pass the time than to take out our collective boredom and rage on the worst people to happen to the sport that we all love in the past year? Spot reserved for future bracket Spot reserved for any artwork from this tournament The rules this year: As it was last year, I will take the top 32 football related douches of the past year and arrange them into a bracket divided once again into four categories. Those categories are, once again: Players: This can include any CURRENT (as of this past season) college or pro football player Administration: This can include ANY FORMER OR CURRENT NCAA or NFL coach, owner, or administrator Media: Members of the media. Can include former players or coaches. Wildcard: Anything not fitting into any of the above categories, someone who fits into multiple categories, groups of people, winners of sudden death entries. Anything goes here. Here are some guys who hosed up in the last year!: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3653297As usual, when the matches begin, I will paste player bios (written by you, the voters or halfassed by me if there are non available) and let people vote on one match at a time every two days or so. You will pick your preferred douche and give the best argument that you can for why they should win. The more effort you put in, the more points your vote is worth. A simple bolded name is worth one. An explanation would be worth two. An extended effort post, depending on content, could be worth three or more. Original artwork or other forms of multimedia would be worth potentially more than that. EFFORT = POINTS! Nominations will be open for ONE WEEK(ish) Nomination format: First and foremost, BOLD YOUR NOMINATION OR I WON'T COUNT IT. Then, for bonus points and so I have content for the matches, tell me why your nominee is a douche. Links and pictures are highly encouraged. Usually when there is 24 hours left in the nomination process, I will give you guys a few extra nomination votes to boost your chosen douche into contention. Who is eligible: As with the last two seasons, there will be both a big tournament to determine who gets to wear Big Ben's mantle as douche of the year, and a second, smaller tournament to award one lucky douche the Dan Snyder Memorial Douchievement Award of Excellence, which puts them into the douche hall of fame, giving them recognition as long as this is a yearly event. Your Douche that you are nominating must have done something douchey between the end of nominations, which is May 11th, 2015 and the start of the last tournament, which was some time in May 3rd, 2014. References to events outside of that time frame will not be used in competitor bios. For the Lifetime Douchievement award, I will pull 4 deserving douches from the list and put them in the tournament just based on my own judgement. Who is NOT Eligible: 1) The five current members of the Hall of Fame: -Dan Snyder -Craig James -Art Modell -Roger Goodell -The NCAA 2) Anyone having anything to do with any sort of extreme crimes, even if no convictions were made (The Paterno/Sandusky clause) 3) Anyone who has been arrested or put in jail already for what they did (Sharper, Hernandez) 4) People who are in no way related to football. I will allow some stretches, but these will be judgement calls on my part. If you have any suggestions for how I can make this tournament the best (worst?) one yet, feel free to express it in thread. That said, I now declare season four of the Ben Roethlisberger Douche of the Year open! New Last Year, but Would Like To Do Again People really seemed to enjoy the poster submitted write ups from last season. So, once again, I need at least SEVEN volunteers to do writeups for the tournament douches. PM me or indicate in the thread with a working email address if you would like to help. It is not much work and pretty fun, actually. Here is a pretty good example of one from last year: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3631289&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=26#post430852099 Opportunity for more forum participation! Do you think more stuff should be voted on? Maybe a miniature "Most improved douche" tournament, or perhaps one for the evil folks who didn't make the tournament due to the Sandusky rule? Mention it in thread and you can run it here concurrently with the big tournament! Nominations will be accepted in... 3... 2... 1... DOUCHE! Ben Has Tiny Weenus fucked around with this message at 17:52 on May 4, 2015 |
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May 4, 2015 17:13
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Current bracket
Ben Has Tiny Weenus fucked around with this message at 16:36 on Jul 19, 2015 |
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May 4, 2015 17:14
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now that's a good thread title
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May 4, 2015 17:27
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I feel like no list would be complete without Greg Hardy. Aside from being a woman-beating piece of poo poo which he somehow oozed his way out of punishment for, he then got in a fight with one of his new Cowboys teammates when he got called out during workouts. Hopefully this entry counts--if the tournament ended in May of last year, his accuser testified in July 2014, so it should, right?
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May 4, 2015 17:43
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Gotta look back at the "douche tracker" thread Stephen A Smith, he seemed like prime douchebag this year, exemplified by his remarks about Janay Rice asking for it Jameis Winston, obvious reasons Adrian Peterson got him in the nuts once I noticed Greg Hardy Why don't you have a seat on my guns over here Ray Rice Duh
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May 4, 2015 17:49
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football fuckerman posted:now that's a good thread title I am eagerly awaiting year seven so I can call it "...and the Douchely Hallows" This year's reference should be fairly obvious, as it is a mega popular book series. Febreeze posted:Gotta look back at the "douche tracker" thread I'll add a link to that in the OP. Alter Ego posted:I feel like no list would be complete without Greg Hardy. If the ruling was Acquit I must admit! He's in. The hard rule is if they actually faced any legal punishment (civil suits and fines don't count towards that). Ben Has Tiny Weenus fucked around with this message at 17:54 on May 4, 2015 |
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May 4, 2015 17:52
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Febreeze posted:Gotta look back at the "douche tracker" thread Wanna second these two right here...wasn't sure if Jameis counted, cause he was in last year's bracket. And loving Stephen A...I went and dug up that quote and it STILL makes me angry: "What I’ve tried to employ the female members of my family — some of who you all met and talked to and what have you — is that ... let’s make sure we don’t do anything to provoke wrong actions, because if I come — or somebody else come, whether it’s law enforcement officials, your brother or the fellas that you know — if we come after somebody has put their hands on you, it doesn’t negate the fact that they already put their hands on you." Yes, ladies, you may have gotten the poo poo beaten out of you, but...did you provoke it?  E: Sorry. 1 for both Jameis Winston and Stephen A. Smith Fritz Coldcockin fucked around with this message at 17:56 on May 4, 2015 |
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May 4, 2015 17:53
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John Scheneider for drafting Frank Clark and then trying to make it seem like he didn't just hire a massive piece of poo poo person.
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May 4, 2015 17:54
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Alter Ego posted:Wanna second these two right here...wasn't sure if Jameis counted, cause he was in last year's bracket. And loving Stephen A...I went and dug up that quote and it STILL makes me angry: Just a reminder, ALWAYS BOLD YOUR VOTES! I read every post, but when I am tallying I just scan through it for bolded names.
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May 4, 2015 17:55
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Gonna try and avoid voting for people who were in the bracket last year: Adrian Peterson: Beats his kid so hard their scrotum bleeds, and he's loving unrepentant about it. Frank Clark: One of the newest Seahawks drafted, has been arrested 3 times. One for stealing a laptop, another for driving on the wrong side of the road, and another for beating his girlfriend. The case is still pending on the latter, but still... goddamn. Jed York: Hmm... I have one of the best coaches in football. Wait, 8-8 season? Get the gently caress out of here, Harbaugh. (not that I'm complaining as a Seahawks fan, but he's pretty terrible) Greg Hardy: Pretty terrible guy, and uses bad justifications for his actions. joseph arrambidez: Who is this? Let me remind you: 
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May 4, 2015 18:59
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Yeah those guys are all douches but none of them are as consistently on top of the game as Jimmy Haslam
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May 4, 2015 19:01
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I think I ask this every year but is there any limit to nominations and should I be seconding people already brought up or does that happen later? With the NCAA out of the way I'll nominate Mark Emmert. Sure it's mostly the same douche platform but he's the face of everything and despite supposedly being an educated man might actually believe a few of the things that come out of his mouth. Darren Rovell is timeless. Just....yeah. I or someone will write a bunch of stuff about him again but he belongs.
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May 4, 2015 19:23
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Stephen A. Smith, in the past year, has evolved from regular annoying ESPN troll to straight-up garbage human being. John Schneider for using the timeless "durr we don't know if he put his hands on her" argument to handwave a bad draft pick. Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson, just to be sure. Jed York blew up his Super Bowl contention window to satisfy his own petty ego, right after building a lovely overpriced stadium in the middle of the suburbs. Brady Hoke for keeping a QB in the game even though his brain was leaking out of his ears. Bret Bielema because he's still employed.
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May 4, 2015 19:30
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Jed York- Singlehandedly blew up a team that contended in the NFCW for the last 4 years over his ego Adrian Peterson - Likely learned nothing from his entire issue last season
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May 4, 2015 19:35
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Its with a heavy heart that I nominate Brandon Marshall. No, he didn't beat up his girlfriend again, but he was King Douche at Halas Hall last year. The rap sheet: -Gets into a fight with coaches over not wearing shells at a shells-only practice. -Calls a press conference against team wishes to ramble for 45 minutes about his past domestic violence issues, despite those not being relevant at all. -Flies to New York to tape a show every week, refuses to speak with the postgame media after running the wrong route which lead to a pick. Also rumored to have cut practice that week to stay in NYC a couple days after taping his show. -Challenges opposing team's fans to fights on twitter. -Various assorted rumors of being out of coaches' control (also their fault), overruling team doctors, trying to actively recruit people against Cutler, throwing Cutler under the bus with the media. -Also the past domestic violence issues. I want to put Trestman here, for allowing all this, but he's more coward than douche. Filthy Casual fucked around with this message at 19:59 on May 4, 2015 |
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May 4, 2015 19:44
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Seconding Brady Hoke for his creation of head trauma and Bret Bielema for his exploitation of it (it goes back a few years but in 2015 he blamed it for the retirement of Chris Borland, who played for the notoriously fast-paced Wisconsin Badgers and San Francisco 49ers) University of Alabama-Birmingham for shutting down football based on suspect math by a crony consulting firm, blindsiding their coaches and players and dooming them to go without a bowl after a significantly improved season EDIT: Bryan Allen, the douchey memorabilia owner who snitched on Todd Gurley Elotana fucked around with this message at 20:00 on May 4, 2015 |
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May 4, 2015 19:55
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Grittybeard posted:I think I ask this every year but is there any limit to nominations and should I be seconding people already brought up or does that happen later? Second them. It helps me do seeding. Elotana posted:University of Alabama-Birmingham for shutting down football based on suspect math by a crony consulting firm, blindsiding their coaches and players and dooming them to go without a bowl after a significantly improved season Usually Universities go into Wildcard, but I'll drop that one into Admin because it's their own BoT, namely Bear Bryant Jr. Ben Has Tiny Weenus fucked around with this message at 20:00 on May 4, 2015 |
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May 4, 2015 19:57
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Ndamukong Suh for his angry, angry feet, which found their way onto Aaron Rodgers' ankle
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May 4, 2015 20:03
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Elotana posted:University of Alabama-Birmingham for shutting down football based on suspect math by a crony consulting firm, blindsiding their coaches and players and dooming them to go without a bowl after a significantly improved season I'd place the blame on the University of Alabama System regents board and Paul "Bear" Bryant, Jr., specifically, for their petty demand to be the only game in town. Also, I nominate the New England Patriots for deflating those footballs.
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May 4, 2015 20:05
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Oh, almost forgot Philip Nelson for kicking an unconscious dude in the head and almost killing him
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May 4, 2015 20:07
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CaptainYesterday posted:I'd place the blame on the University of Alabama System regents board and Paul "Bear" Bryant, Jr., specifically, for their petty demand to be the only game in town. On that note, I nominate breathless, pearl-clutching CNN reporter Roxanne Jones, for writing what was possibly the most idiotic, ill-informed opinion piece of the year where she argued for kicking the Patriots out of the Super Bowl over Deflategate. CNN's pretty famous for commenting on poo poo they know nothing about, but this took the cake.
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May 4, 2015 20:14
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Mike Smith for basically handing 3 winnable games to the opposition on bad play calling, any one of which would have sent us to the post season. Steven A Smith For insinuating that women play a role in their own abuse. Jameis Winston for probably raping 2 girls and for lying about stealing crab legs to cover up an NCAA violation. Jed York My shadenfreude over the 49ers aside, he basically ruined a football franchise in one offseason. Ed Sherman The shamefully stupid article he wrote regarding Skittle Bighorn. Also his stupid loving face: 
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May 4, 2015 20:18
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Elotana posted:Ndamukong Suh for his angry, angry feet, which found their way onto Aaron Rodgers' ankle This. A million loving times this. Also, seconding Jed York, Greg Hardy and Stephen A. Smith for reasons well explained.
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May 4, 2015 20:21
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I'm going to nominate Johnny Manziel for spending his entire rookie year being a locker room cancer and never backing up any of his hype on the field. Jerry Jones for signing noted piece of poo poo Greg Hardy and openly fawning over child-beater Adrian Peterson. Also, Tallahassee PD because of the obvious reasons I shouldn't have to list at this point.
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May 4, 2015 20:21
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Chilichimp posted:
Oh man, I forgot that guy, possibly the most punchable face since Dan Schlausneassassury. Ed Sherman it is also I can't believe I forgot Jed York
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May 4, 2015 21:23
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Ed Sherman is a worthy nominee Also I think Mike McCarthy deserves a nod for refusing to get out of his own way and basically handing the NFC title to Seattle
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May 4, 2015 21:31
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Benne posted:
Stupidity ain't douchiness.
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May 4, 2015 21:37
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TheGreyGhost posted:I'm going to nominate Johnny Manziel for spending his entire rookie year being a locker room cancer and never backing up any of his hype on the field. Seconded. The Manziels are basically a white trash crime family and little Johnny Manziel is a piece of poo poo with no redeeming qualities. And I'll throw in one for Terrell Suggs for being the wife beating child abuser that's somehow still a media darling and will not shut the gently caress up. In more recent news he's still a cheap-shotting shitbag, too. sean10mm fucked around with this message at 22:34 on May 4, 2015 |
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May 4, 2015 22:29
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Suggs was the one that gouged Brady's eye and then told the ref he was acting, right?
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May 4, 2015 22:39
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Dave Brandon, failure. Darren Rovell, now and forever.
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May 4, 2015 22:46
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Jed York for blowing up my loving team. Pete Carroll for not giving the ball to Lynch.
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May 4, 2015 23:10
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Paul Bryant, Jr. for shuttering a football program for no other reason than Roll Dang Tide.
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May 4, 2015 23:18
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Jed York for placing his ego above fielding a good football team. Jimmy Haslam, for the obvious known reasons and because he forced Ray Farmer to draft Manziel over both Carr AND Bridgewater. Stephen A. Smith for being a starfucker and generally a horrible person.
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May 4, 2015 23:31
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How close are we to being able to put Bobby Petrino in the Hall? I think this year's asking a player to grayshirt two days before NSD after him being committed for many months can put him in the main competition, but it's not egregious enough for him to win it. However, he has spent his entire career being a terrible human being and I think he needs to be recognized for it.
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May 5, 2015 00:05
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chaoslord posted:How close are we to being able to put Bobby Petrino in the Hall? I think this year's asking a player to grayshirt two days before NSD after him being committed for many months can put him in the main competition, but it's not egregious enough for him to win it. However, he has spent his entire career being a terrible human being and I think he needs to be recognized for it. He is someone I would strongly consider for admittance into the Hall.
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May 5, 2015 00:15
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Benne posted:Stephen A. Smith, in the past year, has evolved from regular annoying ESPN troll to straight-up garbage human being. Chilichimp posted:
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May 5, 2015 00:18
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Stephen A. Smith - I'm not sure if I can say anything wittier than that Deadspin article linked earlier.quote:He’s the ultimate embodiment of a comment section men’s rights activist crossed with some sort of distorted, unentertaining version of Virgil, the unquestioning bodyguard of wrestling’s Million Dollar Man. He is Super-MRAn. I want to mention something about the Chip Kelly racist thing, but that felt more like "I'm plateauing on Twitter followers, I better say something real dumb."
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May 5, 2015 00:21
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The Tallahassee PD not winning was a blotch on the committee. It's a pity they aren't eligible this year.
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May 5, 2015 00:21
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Stephen A. Smith is so fervently and consistently a douche that I feel like he deserves to share the title of the award with Big Ben. Also, Paul Bryant, Jr. and Brady Hoke (I watched it happen live and holy poo poo I couldn't believe him putting that dude back in the game, I felt like I was watching a horror film where you just know you're about to see someone die.). Jameis Winston too I guess, if his rape is still eligible. It made my boss (an FSU alum) go on a tirade about how nobody ever comes to a man's defense when they are falsely accused. Does anybody care about when a false accusation ruins a man's life?, etc.
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May 5, 2015 00:26
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Petite Dinklage posted:The Tallahassee PD not winning was a blotch on the committee. It's a pity they aren't eligible this year. Technically they are, but they really didn't do anything this year, and I am not going to put Cops, in general in the HOF voting because that would be dumb. Heteroy posted:Jameis Winston too I guess, if his rape is still eligible. It made my boss (an FSU alum) go on a tirade about how nobody ever comes to a man's defense when they are falsely accused. Does anybody care about when a false accusation ruins a man's life?, etc. His rape is not eligible, but he can be put up for "gently caress Her Right In The Pussy!", Shoving a ref, and dressing out while suspended.
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May 5, 2015 01:35
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