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They all look like theyre about to cry, either rail thin or resembling an orb. They all have speech impediments to various degrees. Spit flies out of their mouths when they talk and dribbles down their clothes. The thin layer of sweat covering their loathesome bodies appears and smells as if it is at least partly dairy based. They have many scabs and never do not heal. They were all born in an eastern european nation that no longer exists. Each with a uniquely unintelligible dialect so they cannot communicate even with one another. Each accent is more piercing and unpleasant to the ear than the last. At break time they solemny take turns putting while raw fish in the microwave. They neither turn the microwave on or remove the fish. This process appears to sustain them The team is a well oiled machine. When young Dmitris legs fell off. Large, Kind Igor works as Dmitries legs. We now consider them one organism, part of an even greater organism
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Nov 4, 2016 09:51
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My coworker is a sniveling nerd who complains about me on internet forums instead of to my face like a man.
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Nov 4, 2016 09:55
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i work from home, op
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Nov 4, 2016 09:58
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do u know jenny posted:My coworker is a sniveling nerd who complains about me on internet forums instead of to my face like a man. I have a runny nose are you talking about me. I had a runny nose at work today I Cant loving think of who else you're talking about. Say it to my face kevin.
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Nov 4, 2016 10:13
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One of my coworkers uses too much body spray and hes always wearing gloves. Hes in the toilet stalls alot.
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Nov 4, 2016 11:07
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One guy is always drinking coffee and is in a rush to do everything, even if it means doing it wrong instead of taking more time to do it right. I fight back by getting stoned every day and just working at my own pace which is still fast but not rushed.
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Nov 4, 2016 11:15
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A coworker was regaling me with stories of how he has ascended to the level of "visionary." This world ended with the Egyptians and similar to the lead singer of that metal band that killed himself he was supposed to die, but now he's been chosen. We need to delete the porn from our phone and by doing so he'll be able to save all the children. Also, he is like wolverine and his gf is like Jean grey. e: he Also wears a hat sometimes, the madman.
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Nov 4, 2016 11:57
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A coworker I have lunch with occasionally will get a salted soft pretzel and pick off the bits of salt and eat each one individually before eating the pretzel. It takes forever and I don't understand it at all.
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Nov 4, 2016 12:00
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I know for me as a whit man, each grain of salt is like a flavor explosion and unique experience is not to be taken lightly. Plus savored
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Nov 4, 2016 12:03
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My coworker makes lovely threads.
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Nov 4, 2016 19:47
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Isaac posted:They all look like theyre about to cry, either rail thin or resembling an orb. is this one of those holiday riddles i can solve to be a part of that real life james bond team
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Nov 4, 2016 20:21
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504 posted:My coworker makes lovely threads. we most likely have the same coworker
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Nov 4, 2016 20:29
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My coworker was given the "smoke pot and watch Netflix" over night shift in our office. Second day into it she snap chats EVERYONE the party she threw in the office. Fired the next day
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Nov 4, 2016 20:36
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None of my coworkers are attractive and I can go entire days without talking to anyone in person in the office. Still one of the better jobs I've had.
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Nov 4, 2016 20:46
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my coworker's name is isaac
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Nov 4, 2016 20:50
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One of my coworkers (don't know who) left a half eaten salad on the kitchen table instead of throwing it away
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Nov 4, 2016 20:50
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*snaps fingers*
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Nov 4, 2016 20:58
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One of my Co-workers left last Thursday and told us all she was going on vacation and hasnt been back since and all her stuff is gone  Other than that I do not know anything about the rest of the people in my office, I only know 2 peoples names even I just sit in the backroom and shitpost while I pretend to write proposals I hate it here so much
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Nov 4, 2016 21:00
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Nooner posted:One of my Co-workers left last Thursday and told us all she was going on vacation and hasnt been back since and all her stuff is gone How can you hate being paid to shitpost?
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Nov 4, 2016 21:07
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Wamdoodle posted:How can you hate being paid to shitpost? not paid nearly enough and boss stresses me out when it comes to actual work stuff
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Nov 4, 2016 21:08
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there was a slip in the fabric of the space-time continuum and this post never existed
Mozi fucked around with this message at 15:12 on Nov 7, 2016 |
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Nov 4, 2016 21:14
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the coworker in the cubicle next to me says things like "I'm so excited, I'm about to start twerking"
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Nov 4, 2016 21:25
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china bot posted:the coworker in the cubicle next to me says things like "I'm so excited, I'm about to start twerking" is he cute?
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Nov 4, 2016 21:25
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Nooner posted:is he cute? i'd say so
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Nov 4, 2016 21:35
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I like all my Co workers
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Nov 4, 2016 21:48
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My coworkers are all obese except for one.
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Nov 4, 2016 21:53
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There's this black Jamaican guy at work who keeps calling Hillary a oval office and Talking about how Trump is going to make America great again. He used to be a preacher but got caught loving around on his wife. He fat, too.
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Nov 4, 2016 21:57
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at my last job there was a guy who'd buy two weeks worth of fast food at once, put it all in a giant paper bag, and then work off of it day by day. we'd all be sitting there and he'd walk in, dive into his paper bag of mcdoubles, take one out and go to town on it.
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Nov 4, 2016 21:59
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I had a coworker who was high 24 7. He also had a big gap between his two front teeth. I always wondered if he jammed a joint in there, leaving his hands free, and puffed on it as he went about his day.
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Nov 4, 2016 22:37
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Hector Beerlioz posted:I had a coworker who was high 24 7. He also had a big gap between his two front teeth. I always wondered if he jammed a joint in there, leaving his hands free, and puffed on it as he went about his day. don't doxxx me
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Nov 4, 2016 23:13
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Lots of Indians with short tempers that pronounce Ws as Vs
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Nov 4, 2016 23:15
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my coworkers are mostly okay there's a couple people who obviously try and shirk their duties plus the skinny blonde girl with the gauged ears that i wanna bang yeah
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Nov 4, 2016 23:16
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one time at work they had one of those screening sessions where you can get a reduction on your healthcare if they take some blood, but you have to fast beforehand, and they had set up some pastries so you could get a little energy after having them stick you with a needle. everyone kept walking by, absently grabbing a bagel, and ruining their fast. one of my co-workers walked up to the spread and started piling muffins onto his plate, and the guy taking blood was like "excuse me, those are for people who are undertaking the screening!!" and he looked at the guy for like a half a second to assess whether he had any authority, shrugged, took two more muffins and walked away.
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Nov 4, 2016 23:53
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the nurse/tech/whatever just stood there and looked sad, while all the muffins went away on one person's plate, and a bunch of other people absently said "wow! bagels!" and ruined their fast without thinking about it. they had to come back to do the tests but this time they locked the pastries inside the room next to them, because of my muffin thief coworker.
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Nov 4, 2016 23:57
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my new jersey co-workers spend the whole day fighting and arguing with each other.
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Nov 4, 2016 23:57
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Afro posted:my coworkers are mostly okay ya wanna bang her ... or her ear holes? 
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Nov 4, 2016 23:59
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etalian posted:my new jersey co-workers spend the whole day fighting and arguing with each other. Ahh yes ive also worked with italians
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Nov 5, 2016 00:03
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Sometimes when waiting for the bus I hear a guy going "poop poop poop poop poop," and at first I thought he was just testing social boundaries to be weird. I surmised he has Tourette Syndrome, but man it's funny. I couldn't help but laugh a little and look at him with a big smile, and he smiled too because it's not like he wants that but it's still funny. He probably had to do a lot of work to get his tics down to just "poop" instead of more shocking stuff
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Nov 5, 2016 00:20
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One of my coworkers cried in the boiler room at a job site because he learned his youngest step son of his now ex wife was putting slurpee straws up his rear end and keeping the poopy straws in a plastic bag in the closet. I worked with a grown-rear end man who routinely got 2 hours of sleep a night because he would drink redbull all day and then play children's video games all night. He ruined like 3 bumpers on his car, after the van he ran without oil and on half the spark plugs finally gave out. Anyway, he locked himself and a shopping cart full of garbage in a garbage chute room only slightly bigger than the cart and then couldn't reach the light switch and I had to rescue him.
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Nov 5, 2016 02:28
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Breakfast Feud posted:One of my coworkers cried in the boiler room at a job site because he learned his youngest step son of his now ex wife was putting slurpee straws up his rear end and keeping the poopy straws in a plastic bag in the closet. Talk about a case of the mondays
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Nov 5, 2016 02:30
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