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  • Locked thread
BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.

Illegal Hen
Here is a thread. Use it to post about how your favorite team sucks or does not suck. Or how other teams suck or do not suck. Or try to get laid. I don't care.

I will start us off: the Cubs suck and are rear end.

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Miz Kriss
Mar 17, 2009

It's only an avatar if the Cubs get swept.
I thought the game would still be going on when I woke up at 6am today.

IcePhoenix
Sep 18, 2005

Take me to your Shida

Your Taint posted:

Or try to get laid.

Anyone in Minnesota want to be the Twins Bullpen to my Red Sox lineup?

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮
Astros are good. You should be talking about the Astros.

ihatepants
Nov 5, 2011

Let the burning of pants commence. These things drive me nuts.



Yankees sitting Judge today for some reason despite being taken out in the 8th inning of last night's 18 inning game in a double switch. They would be a better team if they forced Ellsbury or Gardner into the 4th OF role. I am mostly just sad because I wanted him to hit some more dingers in Cincy.

YeahTubaMike
Mar 24, 2005

*hic* Gotta finish thish . . .
Doctor Rope

Your Taint posted:

Here is a thread. Use it to post about how your favorite team sucks

The Mets suck and are ded, the Marlins also suck but at least their limbs are intact.

quote:

or does not suck

The Yankees do not suck.

quote:

Or how other teams suck or do not suck.

gently caress the Nats.

quote:

Or try to get laid. I don't care.

:bigtran:

Poque
Sep 11, 2003

=^-^=
https://twitter.com/Cubs/status/861695942692622336

did not expect to see Rizzo and Baez in the lineup today.

ZenVulgarity
Oct 9, 2012

I made the hat by transforming my zen

Poque posted:

https://twitter.com/Cubs/status/861695942692622336

did not expect to see Rizzo and Baez in the lineup today.

he can't afford to go to the doctor is why

Poque
Sep 11, 2003

=^-^=

That donation is incredible but wow, what a lovely article. Count me in on healthcare reform but for gently caress's sake don't editorialize a politics-neutral press release about a donation to cancer research and patient support. "Posted to: News" my rear end

shadok
Dec 12, 2004

You tried to destroy it once before, Commodore.
The result was a wrecked ship and a dead crew.
Fun Shoe
Edwin Encarnacion is probably going to pick tonight to break out of his worse-than-usual early-season batting slump and hit like 12 dingers at the SkyDome over the next three days. But I think Toronto is already mathematically eliminated from the playoffs, so it doesn't really matter. Whatever. Baseball is stupid.

Miz Kriss
Mar 17, 2009

It's only an avatar if the Cubs get swept.
Apparently Coors field Is covered in hail.

Chexoid
Nov 5, 2009

Now that I have this dating robot I can take it easy.
I really wish Stroman would ditch that delayed pitch. It never works.

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another spring commute
https://twitter.com/miggymont26/status/861702261218566144

Presumably tonight's game is not happening.

Poque
Sep 11, 2003

=^-^=
Rumors of Hunter Pence's demise were greatly exaggerated

ZenVulgarity
Oct 9, 2012

I made the hat by transforming my zen

loving angel Hernandez

the popes toes
Oct 10, 2004

Nice, Nat's spot the O's a run for the O's first AB

Chexoid
Nov 5, 2009

Now that I have this dating robot I can take it easy.
I heard that Edwin rejected the Jays and went to Cleveland for less money because of how much he loves racism and being racist.

Nodoze
Aug 17, 2006

If it's only for a night I can live without you
good start for the offense tonight

the popes toes
Oct 10, 2004

Good lord the Orioles are killing it

AegisP
Oct 5, 2008
Can we have Edwin back :(

Chexoid
Nov 5, 2009

Now that I have this dating robot I can take it easy.
Hard to tell what Edwin said to Stroman there but I believe it was "I was trying to injure you, because I serve only one master: Racism."

Nodoze
Aug 17, 2006

If it's only for a night I can live without you
Tanaka why :(

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
gently caress the DH

Troy Queef
Jan 12, 2013




I did not expect a bases-clearing double from CarMart, but I'll take it

Craptacular!
Jul 9, 2001

Fuck the DH
That ground rule double was the most Giants Bullshit that I've seen in a while.

AegisP
Oct 5, 2008
Goins!

shadok
Dec 12, 2004

You tried to destroy it once before, Commodore.
The result was a wrecked ship and a dead crew.
Fun Shoe
GOINS GOINS GONE!

Chexoid
Nov 5, 2009

Now that I have this dating robot I can take it easy.
For some reason Goins can really loving crush a ball every now and again. Jesus.

shadok
Dec 12, 2004

You tried to destroy it once before, Commodore.
The result was a wrecked ship and a dead crew.
Fun Shoe
Ryan "Offensive Black Hole" Goins has more home runs in 2017 than either Josh Donaldson or Jose Bautista.

secular woods sex
Aug 1, 2000
I dispense wisdom by the gallon.
*is Trevor Bauer*

*routinely gets hammered when throwing high fastballs*

*insists on throwing high fastballs*

*gets upset when he gives up runs*

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast

Your Taint posted:

Here is a thread. Use it to post about how your favorite team sucks

God help me, our bullpen is terrible. Why are we paying Brett Cecil $30M? WHY?

quote:

or does not suck.

Mike Leake somehow leads the NL in ERA among starters. Lance Lynn is 3rd I think. What the hell?

quote:

Or how other teams suck or do not suck.

My god the Pirates and Giants are bad so far this season.

quote:

Or try to get laid. I don't care.

You all had your chance and mostly declined to come to the meetup this weekend. :colbert:

The Berzerker
Feb 24, 2006

treat me like a dog


shadok posted:

Ryan "Offensive Black Hole" Goins has more home runs in 2017 than either Josh Donaldson or Jose Bautista.

https://twitter.com/_rallycap/status/861731479067529218

Sandpuppy
Jun 16, 2012

Social Abscess
of the
Universe
LoCain with the little league inside the park homerun. Off Kiermeier no less.

First bit of life I've seen from these guys in a week.

Chexoid
Nov 5, 2009

Now that I have this dating robot I can take it easy.
Wow. Does Santana not know that Morales is literally the slowest baserunner in baseball.

shadok
Dec 12, 2004

You tried to destroy it once before, Commodore.
The result was a wrecked ship and a dead crew.
Fun Shoe
A sacrifice soft line drive? I'll take it, thanks Smoak.

Chexoid
Nov 5, 2009

Now that I have this dating robot I can take it easy.
Amidst a world cloaked in darkness, it feels real good to score often against Bauer's catastrophically dumb rear end.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast
gently caress the DH: Part 2. CarMart 2 for 2 with 4 RBI's in the 4th.

YeahTubaMike
Mar 24, 2005

*hic* Gotta finish thish . . .
Doctor Rope
Carlos "Madison Bumgarner" Martínez

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

Crypto-Rump Roast

YeahTubaMike posted:

Carlos "Madison Bumgarner" Martínez

Doesn't check out. MadBum hates fun. CarMart loves fun.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dUQRXYi3lI

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The Berzerker
Feb 24, 2006

treat me like a dog


Chexoid posted:

Bauer's catastrophically dumb rear end.

lol ummm. Lol yeah. You say that to one of the most scientific baseball players in MLB. Ok lol

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