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As a grown rear end adult, I tried mariokart again. I was flaberghasted at what I experienced - and I discovered that it parallels modern life so well! Think about this: In Mariokart there are really only three positions you can be in. First place - you just get lots of coins (I.e., money) from the lootboxes and as long as you stay ahead of everyone else it’s the easiest drive you can have. No one is around to mess with you. Last place - Everyone is beating you, but the game (I.e., government) will give you blue shells (I.e., social support and public programming). Very powerful, contextually. Still... it doesn’t practically help you at all and you stay at the bottom. Middle ranks - here’s the real poo poo: it doesn’t matter if you’re 7th or 2nd, everyone wants to get to 1st place and they will take every opportunity to gently caress your day up. The net effect is everyone holds everyone else back. Try playing and being in first place then let yourself fall to 3rd and see with your own eyes. It’s a slaughterhouse. Learn from this. Learn from Mario.
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Dec 19, 2017 11:22
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| # ? Jun 11, 2024 10:04 |
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 -wayne gretzky
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Dec 19, 2017 11:28
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actually life is like vectorman OP
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Dec 19, 2017 11:30
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actually its more like cool spot
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Dec 19, 2017 11:37
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life is more like eating an orange
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Dec 19, 2017 11:38
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Doesn't the opposition slow way down if you drive really slow and in last place? Don't think there's much rubber banding irl
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Dec 19, 2017 12:02
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I think Bomberman for the n64 rings more true
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Dec 19, 2017 12:13
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I Pledge The Legence posted:
Actually it was Zidane who said that
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Dec 19, 2017 12:16
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The scene from Spartacus where each man slowly stands and says "Eeetsa me! Mario!"
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Dec 19, 2017 12:35
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fridge corn posted:Actually it was Zidane who said that 
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Dec 19, 2017 12:39
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Tenacious J posted:As a grown rear end adult, I tried mariokart again. I was flaberghasted at what I experienced - and I discovered that it parallels modern life so well! Think about this: In Mariokart there are really only three positions you can be in. This isn't like modern life at all.
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Dec 19, 2017 13:30
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Deep thinker here: you ever think about how video games are a lot like life? You're desperately trying to move forward and beat the games, but in the end you haven't accomplished anything and its all meaningless, so you just start over again and learn how to pretend you didn't hear your mom calling you to come fold the laundry. For more about this see Jean-Paul Sartre.
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Dec 19, 2017 13:34
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a new study bible! posted:actually its more like cool spot Overt product placement?
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Dec 19, 2017 13:36
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One of those harsh truths: Crash Team Racing was better than Mario Kart.
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Dec 19, 2017 13:59
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Life is actually like Cho Aniki
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Dec 19, 2017 14:07
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GarfieldKart too
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Dec 19, 2017 14:07
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fridge corn posted:Actually it was Zidane who said that at least they got the picture right
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Dec 19, 2017 14:08
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Nick Rivers posted:GarfieldKart Oh god this is a real thing http://store.steampowered.com/app/362930/Garfield_Kart/
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Dec 19, 2017 14:12
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Other lessons from Mario Kart: - everyone has different starting places but shares a finish line - if you want to get back to things after an accident, it will cost you - money and success are almost totally disconnected - babies can drive cars
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Dec 19, 2017 14:21
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monkeys arent donkeys
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Dec 19, 2017 14:23
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chaosbreather posted:Other lessons from Mario Kart: Magic mushrooms are the cause of and solution to all of life's problems and they too can also drive
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Dec 19, 2017 14:44
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Bea Nanner posted:at least they got the picture right da fwiggen Bea Nanner
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Dec 19, 2017 14:51
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mario kart has rubber banding tho which is basically socialism
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Dec 19, 2017 14:54
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Alpha Mayo posted:mario kart has rubber banding tho which is basically socialism
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Dec 19, 2017 14:59
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The blue shell analogy doesn't fit because there's nothing in reality that the middle/lower classes can do to hurt the top. It would only fit reality if the blue shell propelled the leader forward instead of slowing them down.
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Dec 19, 2017 15:00
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Life is like a box of question mark: y'never know what y'gonna get.
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Dec 19, 2017 15:02
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It sounds like you are bad at mario kart, OP. So I guess you are bad at life. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRXxABnBoY8&t=94s
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Dec 19, 2017 15:04
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chaosbreather posted:- money and success are almost totally disconnected Coins give you a cumulative speed boost, idiot.
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Dec 19, 2017 15:05
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life is a lot like a video game, because everytime I touch someone else I lose a hit point and start flashing, but at least im invincible for a couple seconds
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Dec 19, 2017 15:06
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Section 9 housing and food stamps actually do help me because they keep me alive so eat poo poo Mario libertarian.
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Dec 19, 2017 15:07
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The blue shell is the #metoo movement.
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Dec 19, 2017 15:08
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Blue shell lives matter.
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Dec 19, 2017 15:22
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veiled boner fuel posted:Section 9 housing and food stamps actually do help me because they keep me alive so eat poo poo Mario libertarian. The proper term is Wario libertarian you fukkin plebe
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Dec 19, 2017 16:19
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Mario kart may have well just not existed after Mario kart 64
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Dec 19, 2017 16:27
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Mario Kart 64 is the only true Mario Kart.
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Dec 19, 2017 16:28
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Who What Now posted:Coins give you a cumulative speed boost, idiot. Whaaaaaaattt
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Dec 19, 2017 16:29
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the motivated social movers get the peels, while the shiftless runners up get the banana. sad!
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Dec 19, 2017 16:48
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the feather is like the lottery theoretically it can let you jump far ahead in society, but almost everyone is gonna gently caress it up and end up worse off
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Dec 19, 2017 16:53
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Blue shell is madame la guillotine
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Dec 19, 2017 20:40
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