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1. You are... Select from one of the following: A. Piankhi, son of the River. When you were very young you did not know you were different from others, even if you slowly began to suspect it as the years went by. You live in the palace of the Great Pharoah, Ramsses the Great, in one of the lesser chambers alongside your mother and her slaves. Your household has always been... unconventional even if you did not realize it in your youth. Your life has ever been one of ease and luxury, tended to by devoted slaves and well cared for by your mother. The palace is in the center of the Middle Kingdom, a great, powerful and prosperous land at the roots of the Eternal Mountain, alongside the Endless Forest and just visible in the distance, The City of the Ancients. It is said that long ago the Ancient Ones taught the First Pharoah how to dig in the dirt, to hunt and all the useful arts, in fact it is said that the First Pharoah WAS an Ancient One, which makes all the pharoahs to follow living gods. That makes your mother, one of the Pharoah's granddaughters partially divine as well. Not much is expected of you in life, you would never be Pharoah of course, countless others are in line before you, so you live the life of an idle prince. Even if your mother loves you, others in the palace are often unkind to you and you can't join your mother at social events. Your mother would never speak of who your father was, always telling you that ahe would say "When you were older". Two months past she finally told you, tears in her eyes "I... I do not know. The Ancient Ones did not bless me to be able to have children and so I prayed and prayed at the side of the river and then I saw you there, drifting among the reeds in a basket. And I knew you were meant to be mine."  Pictured above: Piankhi, son of the River. A quasi-anthropomorphic rabbit of roughly rabbit size.  Pictured above: Piankhi's mother, Jochebed. A quasi-anthropomorphoc cat of roughly cat size. Your mother loves you but you realize to all of the other cats in the Palace, you are... you are a pet. She would never let you leave the palace as a child but recently you snuck out to see the world beyond... B. Azarel, son of Dan.  You are Azarel, son of Dan. Your entire life has been one of suffering, hardship and cruelty. There has never been enough to eat and you are nearly always hungry. Your entirely family, all twenty six of you are crammed into a tiny burrow, too exhausted after a day of hard labor to expand it. Every day you are awoken hours before dawn by a loud MEEEEOOOOOW bellowing from a horn across the city to set you to your labor. You toil as generations have to grow catnip for your masters, to build their tombs and to farm mice. Since long before you were born, three generations of your family have labored to build a great pyramid as a tomb for the Pharoah. You are young, bitter and angry. Your father is too old to work anymore and every day you fear the cats will come to claim him for while the bulk of their food are rats, mice and fish, they prey upon your kind as well. Weary and weak, your father told you not to fear, that "One day, one day the God of our Fathers... one day he will bring us home to the Promised Meadow." You do not believe such nonsense. A few among your people still believe such obvious lies, an ancient and dying faith that once your people came from a land in the direction of the setting sun, a boundless meadow with cool streams, endless sweet-berries and no cats. Tales for fools, there is no such place. Woken by the horn, you set off for another day of backbreaking labor. C. Chocosar the Mystic  You are Chocosar, a young duck and newly a drake. Of all the creatures in the Middle Kingdom, your kind are the only ones the cats will not eat, for it is well known that some of you are highly poisonous. Your people came to the Middle Kingdom long ago and while many are slaves, many are free and work as clerks or specialist for the Pharoah, a well educated people. Your people are also well known to be the best cooks in all the land and excellent fishers. And you are privileged among them, for your household are among a few, a precious few with an ancient and mystical art. Chocolomancy. The men of the families of a few of your people, and only the men can lay eggs of a precious and much coveted substance, chocolate. It is known to be a most dangerous and deadly poison, yet it is powerful for use in magics and in small quantities is a pleasing drug for cats. Your father tells you that the time of your First Egg is drawing near and soon you will be initiated into the mystical arts... D. The Nameless One  Yours is a life at its most basic and primal. If you ever had a name, you do not know it. The past is a distant and fading memory of a mother and siblings in a dark place and then... and then you were alone. The others were not strong enough to survive without her. But you were. You live near the edge of what others might call the Nameless Forest, though you have no word for it, indeed, you have no words at all. You are a feral, savage thing. The world around is one of danger. You must find and stalk and kill and steal and hide to survive and any day might be your last. You do not know why your mother was alone in the forest with only her kittens, nor what happened to the eye you lost. There are many dangers in the forest. One day you see... a thing, a great hulking thing larger than any you have seen before, walking on two legs between the trees. You are perfectly concealed in a bush, it cannot see you as it passes by, there is no danger. Then it stops. Then it leans down and looks you right in the eyes as a strange sounds come from it. "Awwwhusapretykitihusalostlitlekiti?" E. Sheta the Scaled  Your name is Sheta. Yesterday was a lovely day basking in the sun on a nice warm, flat rock. You did so the day before too. And the day before that. And the day before that and... you are not sure what you did the day before that. You are young by the standards of your people, barely an adult. Your people live in the river, swimming up and down and spending rather a lot of it just basking on a nice, warm, flat rock. Sometimes you eat fish. Sometimes you eat other things. Life is easy. Most of your people live a bit further up stream, but by the standards of your people, you have an adventurous streak! The Elders warned you to keep away from "That Filthy Nest", what others might call the Middle Kingdom but you did not listen. It is not as if a cat could ever hurt you anyway! You would just slip back into the river if they tried! Sometimes you go right to the river's edge and talk to the ducks and rabbits as they fish. Sometimes they have interesting stories to tell. Sometimes they play games with you if you bring them fish. Sometimes they are sad. A lot of the time actually. One of your friends is a rabbit who is very nice but also very sad. When you asked the Elders what you could to to help him, they said to ignore him that "They are like flies, they will be gone before the sun sets. Do not let them trouble you. Now move, you are blocking my light." Your people are aloof, distant and by the standards of the Middle Kingdom, practically immortal, there is always another day for your people... but perhaps you think life should be lived at a quicker pace? F. Wahibre, son of Wadjkare.  Your clan are not... very popular among your kind. Well. That is a polite way of saying it. A nicer way of saying it is that they all hate your guts. It is not so much that your familly is not on the menu so much as they are... on the last page, all the way in the back, in small print, so you are not usually ordered. Some would call you traitors. Everyone would actually, though not where you could hear it of course. It is said that long ago when your people first came into this land, your clan sided with the cats against the rest of your people and helped enslave them. Your clan are slaves too, but a higher class of slaves. It is your clan who hold the lashes and crack the whips, while they have other soldiers, your clan are the most numerous of the cat's enforcers and it is the place of your clan to keep the Pharoah's law and order. Growing up you had enough to eat but always had to keep an eye over your shoulder and keep one long, fuzzy ear turned lest you take a knife in the back. You have been taught how to fight since you were strong enough to hop, indeed, you are the only option which was actually trained in combat. You are almost an adult now, indeed, you will be in just a few more days. You have heard there is some sort of... test when one of your clan comes of age, but you don't know what it is. It is the middle of the night now when you are awoken by your father pushing you on the shoulder "Get up Wahibre" he says in a harsh tone. [...] WELCOME TO THE GAME! Welcome to Adventures in the Middle Kingdom - A Seasonal CYOA, a Choose Your Own Adventure style game. The format of the game is simple. I will lay out the scenario and offer options to proceed with. You can always propose an alternate path to pick. The most popular choice will be picked. Type as much as you like, but please indicate your vote by bolding your choice like this. It is a bit of a tradition for us to do something... weird or silly in the first week of April and this year three holidays from three traditions all fall on the same day! Don't expect our adventures to last long, it will probably be over before the next weekend, though if it is sufficiently interesting we might continue it periodically. For those familiar with them, which you don't have to be, the rules from Paradise Lost will mostly apply though we will play hard and loose with them. One way this game is different from other Choose Your Own Adventure game is that your adventure is to a degree, a freeform adventure. You choose your path through the world. The world can and will change around you based upon your actions and you will not have a predetermined story to run through. Your path and ultimate fate are not planned. Today, the day we started the game, I honestly have no idea where we may be a month from now, let alone how it might one day end. It is all up to you. You do not have plot armor. Bad decisions can get you killed or wreak horrible consequences which you did not intend. If you want to, feel free to join us on irc #madgod on synirc.net. The channel tends to always have some people in it and is especially active when updates go up. If you do not know what IRC is, here is a web based chat version which will not require you to register or download anything: http://chat.mibbit.com/ Diogines fucked around with this message at 03:24 on Apr 1, 2018 |
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Mar 30, 2018 20:54
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Bunny, Bunny, or Duck. First Bunny and Second Bunny are most likely to lead a rebellion against the oppressive cat-ites. But Duck provides chocolate. Decisions.
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Mar 30, 2018 21:09
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Vote changed below. Boonoo fucked around with this message at 22:44 on Mar 30, 2018 |
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Mar 30, 2018 21:10
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C
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Mar 30, 2018 21:10
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C
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Mar 30, 2018 21:11
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CB
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Mar 30, 2018 21:12
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A. I just got back from the Passover Seder so I must vote for the Moshe analogue.
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Mar 30, 2018 21:13
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C 
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Mar 30, 2018 21:14
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C Sanctioned magic!
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Mar 30, 2018 21:16
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B
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Mar 30, 2018 21:16
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Horrible Lurkbeast posted:A. I just got back from the Passover Seder so I must vote for the Moshe analogue.
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Mar 30, 2018 21:16
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C there's no other choice, really
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Mar 30, 2018 21:18
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An excellent vote, mechanically.
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Mar 30, 2018 21:18
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C
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Mar 30, 2018 21:21
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C! Can't so no to witchcraft
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Mar 30, 2018 21:24
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A fishface
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Mar 30, 2018 21:25
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 EDIT: Vote changed in later post. dont be mean to me fucked around with this message at 00:33 on Mar 31, 2018 |
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Mar 30, 2018 21:26
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B
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Mar 30, 2018 21:37
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It took me a stupidly long time to remember that Easter is this weekend or whatever in order to make sense of this. Theglavwen fucked around with this message at 23:31 on Mar 30, 2018 |
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Mar 30, 2018 21:38
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Within an hour or so, I will probably add two to three more options. Voting will remain open for a couple of hours.
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Mar 30, 2018 21:39
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C We must be a wizard of Cocoa
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Mar 30, 2018 21:47
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CAB
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Mar 30, 2018 21:50
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A Let my Rabbits Go!
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Mar 30, 2018 21:51
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A.
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Mar 30, 2018 21:58
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C
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Mar 30, 2018 22:00
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C
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Mar 30, 2018 22:04
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How could it be anything other than C
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Mar 30, 2018 22:07
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c
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Mar 30, 2018 22:07
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420 Gank Mid fucked around with this message at 00:24 on Mar 31, 2018 |
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Mar 30, 2018 22:09
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C
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Mar 30, 2018 22:13
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We rushed it a bit which we regret! Here are the additional options, also edited in to the original post: D. The Nameless One Yours is a life at its most basic and primal. If you ever had a name, you do not know it. The past is a distant and fading memory of a mother and siblings in a dark place and then... and then you were alone. The others were not strong enough to survive without her. But you were. You live near the edge of what others might call the Nameless Forest, though you have no word for it, indeed, you have no words at all. You are a feral, savage thing. The world around is one of danger. You must find and stalk and kill and steal and hide to survive and any day might be your last. You do not know why your mother was alone in the forest with only her kittens, nor what happened to the eye you lost. There are many dangers in the forest. One day you see... a thing, a great hulking thing larger than any you have seen before, walking on two legs between the trees. You are perfectly concealed in a bush, it cannot see you as it passes by, there is no danger. Then it stops. Then it leans down and looks you right in the eyes as a strange sounds come from it. "Awwwhusapretykitihusalostlitlekiti?" E. Sheta the Scaled Your name is Sheta. Yesterday was a lovely day basking in the sun on a nice warm, flat rock. You did so the day before too. And the day before that. And the day before that and... you are not sure what you did the day before that. You are young by the standards of your people, barely an adult. Your people live in the river, swimming up and down and spending rather a lot of it just basking on a nice, warm, flat rock. Sometimes you eat fish. Sometimes you eat other things. Life is easy. Most of your people live a bit further up stream, but by the standards of your people, you have an adventurous streak! The Elders warned you to keep away from "That Filthy Nest", what others might call the Middle Kingdom but you did not listen. It is not as if a cat could ever hurt you anyway! You would just slip back into the river if they tried! Sometimes you go right to the river's edge and talk to the ducks and rabbits as they fish. Sometimes they have interesting stories to tell. Sometimes they play games with you if you bring them fish. Sometims they are sad. A lot of the time actually. One of your friends is a rabbit who is very nice but also very sad. When you asked the Elders what you could to to help him, they said to ignore him that "They are like flies, they will be gone before the sun sets. Do not let them trouble you. Now move, you are blocking my light." Your people are aloof, distant and by the standards of the Middle Kingdom, practically immortal, there is always another day for your people... but perhaps you think life should be lived at a quicker pace? F. Wahibre, son of Wadjkare. Your clan are not... very popular among your kind. Well. That is a polite way of saying it. A nicer way of saying it is that they all hate your guts. It is not so much that your familly is not on the menu so much as they are... on the last page, all the way in the back, in small print, so you are not usually ordered. Some would call you traitors. Everyone would actually, though not where you could hear it of course. It is said that long ago when your people first came into this land, your clan sided with the cats against the rest of your people and helped enslave them. Your clan are slaves too, but a higher class of slaves. It is your clan who hold the lashes and crack the whips, while they have other soldiers, your clan are the most numerous of the cat's enforcers and it is the place of your clan to keep the Pharoah's law and order. Growing up you had enough to eat but always had to keep an eye over your shoulder and keep one long, fuzzy ear turned lest you take a knife in the back. You have been taught how to fight since you were strong enough to hop, indeed, you are the only option which was actually trained in combat. You are almost an adult now, indeed, you will be in just a few more days. You have heard there is some sort of... test when one of your clan comes of age, but you don't know what it is. It is the middle of the night now when you are awoken by your father pushing you on the shoulder "Get up Wahibre" he says in a harsh tone. Diogines fucked around with this message at 22:20 on Mar 30, 2018 |
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Mar 30, 2018 22:17
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A rabbit that can lay chocolate eggs? That is just... ridiculous, who has ever heard of such a thing? Only ducks know chocolomancy and only a few families are born into it. A rabbit knowing chocolomancy... ridiculous.
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Mar 30, 2018 22:29
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D
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Mar 30, 2018 22:30
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F, let's get our oppressor-face on.
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Mar 30, 2018 22:32
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E in honor of the mad god. What was his name again? Oh yeah, Gebus. Genus and his army of 13 fishmen.
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Mar 30, 2018 22:35
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I thought that option F had wings and crazy horns and was some sort of demon Jakalope, but it's just a swole rabbit and that's lame.
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Mar 30, 2018 22:35
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D. The nameless one shall be cuddlepumpkin soon. A fate worse than death.
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Mar 30, 2018 22:36
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Meanwhile across the great sea... ALL HAIL CAESAR!  Whose a good Emperor? e: I know the time period is completely wrong, I just couldn't resist.
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Mar 30, 2018 22:41
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D
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Mar 30, 2018 22:42
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Oh poo poo. Vote changed. D
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Mar 30, 2018 22:42
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