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Cpt. Mahatma Gandhi
Mar 26, 2005

Alright, it's May 2nd, and these forums are so dead that it takes a know-nothing American to make the Premier League thread. For shame.



The race to first is done, congrats City on being the PL campeones.

The race to top 4 is almost done, though Chelsea could still sneak in if one of Liverpool or Spurs gently caress up their run in.

Burnley gonna be playing in Europe next year, which is hilarious, but also good on them for a fantastic season.

Relegation is where things get bonkers heading into the closing weeks. Anyone from Palace on down could still wind up in the bottom three. The picture will become a lot more clear in the coming weeks, as a ton of teams in the bottom half play each other.

Key Matches - Most of these pertain to the relegation battle, though there is one key top 4 match as well. Also, the importance of these matches are subject to change depending on who assures their safety and when.
May 5th
Stoke v Palace
Bournemouth v Swansea

May 6th
Chelsea v Liverpool - potentially a top 4 decider

May 8th
Swans v Southampton

May 13th
Swans v Stoke








Oh yeah, and it's Arsene's last month in the Premier League. Hail Satan.

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Myssu
Sep 19, 2012




Technically even Newcastle could still go down I think.

They won't though.

sassassin
Apr 3, 2010

by Azathoth
I don't care if Swansea go down any more, and think they probably will. A timid point away at Bournemouth, lose to Southampton, draw with Stoke thanks to a late Joey Allen worldie.

I've enjoyed watching the u23s far more than the first team this season anyway.

Cpt. Mahatma Gandhi
Mar 26, 2005

Myssu posted:

Technically even Newcastle could still go down I think.

They won't though.

Actually I think they are officially safe since Swansea and Southampton still have to play each other. No matter what the result, it will guarantee at least one of them will not be able to catch Newcastle (and Stoke and WBA already can't)

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Myssu posted:

Technically even Newcastle could still go down I think.

They won't though.

beat watford and we've got a good chance of finishing 10th as well. we've been dire since beating arsenal though so i'm expecting to lose that match and the spurs/chelsea ones

Myssu
Sep 19, 2012




Cpt. Mahatma Gandhi posted:

Actually I think they are officially safe since Swansea and Southampton still have to play each other. No matter what the result, it will guarantee at least one of them will not be able to catch Newcastle (and Stoke and WBA already can't)
Ahh good point.

Jose posted:

beat watford and we've got a good chance of finishing 10th as well. we've been dire since beating arsenal though so i'm expecting to lose that match and the spurs/chelsea ones
Please beat spurs and chelsea.

tao of lmao
Oct 9, 2005

Real fun season this year despite City running away with the league.

CyberPingu
Sep 15, 2013


If you're not striving to improve, you'll end up going backwards.
Thread title should have been "The Arsé End Of the Season"

kcer
May 28, 2004

Today is good weather
for an airstrike.

Myssu posted:

Technically even Newcastle could still go down I think.

They won't though.

no sorry you're stuck with us







until next season after big fat mike has forced rafa out of the club and we implode

Hashtag Banterzone
Dec 8, 2005


Lifetime Winner of the willkill4food Honorary Bad Posting Award in PWM

CyberPingu posted:

Thread title should have been "The Arsé End Of the Season"

I thought January was usually the end of the season for Arsé

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011
I'm glad Big Rafa will be in the Premier League again next season for sure

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

It would be funny if Arsenal don’t pick up an away point in 2018.

mila kunis
Jun 10, 2011

vyelkin posted:

I'm glad Big Rafa will be in the Premier League again next season for sure

As the new Arsenal manager

hadji murad
Apr 18, 2006

CyberPingu posted:

Thread title should have been "The Arsé End Of the Season"

Shaman Tank Spec
Dec 26, 2003

*blep*



Fellaini's come out to say United left the contract talks too late and he's not signing anymore. Please god let it be true.

Sneaks McDevious
Jul 29, 2010

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

CyberPingu posted:

Thread title should have been "The Arsé End Of the Season"

TheBigAristotle
Feb 8, 2007

I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money.
I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.

Grimey Drawer

Der Shovel posted:

Fellaini's come out to say United left the contract talks too late and he's not signing anymore. Please god let it be true.

Yeah it'd be nice to pay him like 75k and sit him around until absolutely desperate but gently caress off for the money he wants, and it's well-worn discussion, but you won't win titles if you need a Fellaini to come on for jammy headers.

If he was smart he'd go to China and make lots of moneys and score headers on the little guys

fat gay nonce
May 13, 2003
actual penis length: |-----------|



Winner, PWM POTM January

TheBigAristotle posted:

Yeah it'd be nice to pay him like 75k and sit him around until absolutely desperate but gently caress off for the money he wants, and it's well-worn discussion, but you won't win titles if you need a Fellaini to come on for jammy headers.

If he was smart he'd go to China and make lots of moneys and score headers on the little guys

Fellaini is a beautiful young egg that needs a mum

Shaman Tank Spec
Dec 26, 2003

*blep*



Jose, the great humanist, has come out to say that he's not starting Eric Bailly, because he wants to give United's other, shitter central defenders the chance to get into the World Cup.

Jose posted:

"There's no situation, it is fine, no injury," Mourinho told a news conference on Thursday. "He is one of our five central defenders and honestly my work is not about World Cups and preparing players for the World Cup or giving chances to players at the World Cup.

"But he's the only central defender whose country is not in the Word Cup so if I have to make a kind of more emotional effective choice to help my players he's the one I'm not going to help."

"Rojo, Lindelof, Jones, Smalling, all of them are wishing to make the squad for the World Cup and Eric is not under that pressure,"Mourinho added. "I try not to [make those sentimental decisions].

"I try to be a good team manager and that means a bit cold, a bit selfish but I'm not as bad as that and I still have space for a little bit of feelings, so when I look to the other four central defenders fighting for a position in the World Cup I am giving less to Eric."

... I think. Because he's kinda saying it, and then the opposite of it alternatingly?

e: gently caress oooofff Fellaini

Bog Brush posted:

"The club did not renew my contract last year. Now I am in a strong position, especially since Mourinho has stated that he wants to keep me.

"Last year I went to the coach and I said that I wanted a new contract. I then had a second meeting, but I will not ask it 10 times.

"Afterwards I became important for the team... and a good player costs at least 50m euros. The club knows that they went wrong there."

Shaman Tank Spec fucked around with this message at 18:41 on May 3, 2018

blue footed boobie
Sep 14, 2012


UEFA SUPREMACY

Der Shovel posted:

Jose, the great humanist, has come out to say that he's not starting Eric Bailly, because he wants to give United's other, shitter central defenders the chance to get into the World Cup.


... I think. Because he's kinda saying it, and then the opposite of it alternatingly?

He’s saying he doesn’t like to do it, but is doing it anyway. Actually seems pretty cool of him?

Shaman Tank Spec
Dec 26, 2003

*blep*



blue footed boobie posted:

He’s saying he doesn’t like to do it, but is doing it anyway. Actually seems pretty cool of him?

Yeah I guess especially since United basically need one point to secure 2nd place so who cares after that.

TheBigAristotle
Feb 8, 2007

I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money.
I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.

Grimey Drawer
There's really no point in sending Bailly out there, he seems fragile, could probably use the time off.

Word is United is not going to sell Martial. Hopefully they can start giving him serious PT because I am a big fan and he is capable of so much

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

TheBigAristotle posted:

There's really no point in sending Bailly out there, he seems fragile, could probably use the time off.

Word is United is not going to sell Martial. Hopefully they can start giving him serious PT because I am a big fan and he is capable of so much

Martial is such a dynamic player when he's on the pitch, United would be crazy to sell him.

African AIDS cum
Feb 29, 2012


Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack
Mourinho sold Robben, De Bruyne, Salah i think or maybe loaned idk

Tsaedje
May 11, 2007

BRAWNY BUTTONS 4 LYFE
Yaya is leaving City at the end of the season. Not a huge surprise.

CyberPingu
Sep 15, 2013


If you're not striving to improve, you'll end up going backwards.

African AIDS cum posted:

Mourinho sold Robben, De Bruyne, Salah i think or maybe loaned idk

This would mean a lot more had he not won a shitload of trophies in 4 different countries tbh...

pik_d
Feb 24, 2006

follow the white dove





TRP Post of the Month October 2021

CyberPingu posted:

This would mean a lot more had he not won a shitload of trophies in 4 different countries tbh...

It probably means a lot to Chelsea to be fair

CyberPingu
Sep 15, 2013


If you're not striving to improve, you'll end up going backwards.

pik_d posted:

It probably means a lot to Chelsea to be fair

Maybe? There's no guarantee those players would have flourished in that system at that club or with a different manager either though.

CyberPingu fucked around with this message at 15:48 on May 4, 2018

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Tsaedje posted:

Yaya is leaving City at the end of the season. Not a huge surprise.

he'll sign for west ham

bewbies
Sep 23, 2003

Fun Shoe
Steven "Steve" Gerrard hired by Rangers who apparently a football club somewhere in the UK

Gerard Houllier had this to say about his appointment: "He's got to make sure he has enough money to buy good players, because it's better to play with good players than bad players"

hopefully more analysis to come from him

CyberPingu
Sep 15, 2013


If you're not striving to improve, you'll end up going backwards.
Glasgow is not the place to go to start your managerial career. Especially when your main rival just won the title for the 7th straight year.

Blue Star Error
Jun 11, 2001

For this recipie you will need:
Football match (Halftime of), Celebrity Owner (Motivational speaking of), Sherry (Bottle of)
I just want to remind everyone that the transfer window opens in May this year

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011

bewbies posted:

Steven "Steve" Gerrard hired by Rangers who apparently a football club somewhere in the UK

Gerard Houllier had this to say about his appointment: "He's got to make sure he has enough money to buy good players, because it's better to play with good players than bad players"

hopefully more analysis to come from him

lol I was just reading a Guardian article yesterday about how this was a terrible idea for everyone involved.

African AIDS cum
Feb 29, 2012


Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack
It’s a good idea to start in a low quality league like the SPL and maybe if he does well can move up to a League 2 side and then maybe the championship and work his way up to the top level

EvilHawk
Sep 15, 2009

LIVARPOOL!

Klopp's 13pts clear thanks to video ref

Blue Star Error posted:

I just want to remind everyone that the transfer window opens in May this year

Wait really? Is that because of the World Cup?

Think Gerrard's in a no lose situation. If he fails well, it's only Scotland, Rangers are run like poo poo, Celtic are so far ahead. If he succeeds then he can go on and take over from Klopp (his contract conveniently runs out the same year...).

He needs experience dealing with transfers, dealing with loss, dealing with real professionals rather than kids. Maybe it will all blow up in his face but he should really try.

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
Might as well register himself as a player considering he level of the spl

CyberPingu
Sep 15, 2013


If you're not striving to improve, you'll end up going backwards.

EvilHawk posted:



He needs experience dealing with transfers, dealing with loss, dealing with real professionals rather than kids. Maybe it will all blow up in his face but he should really try.

Uhhh buddy he played for us for ages. He's well acquainted with loss.

Tsaedje
May 11, 2007

BRAWNY BUTTONS 4 LYFE
What's he gonna do at an old firm game when Celtic start singing ynwa?

Blue Star Error
Jun 11, 2001

For this recipie you will need:
Football match (Halftime of), Celebrity Owner (Motivational speaking of), Sherry (Bottle of)

EvilHawk posted:

Wait really? Is that because of the World Cup?

Its because this year all buying has to be done and dusted by the start of the season

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Strawman
Feb 9, 2008

Tortuga means turtle, and that's me. I take my time but I always win.


Blue Star Error posted:

Its because this year all buying has to be done and dusted by the start of the season

No wonder Wenger walked.

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