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$20 to deliver a small and anonymous electric shock to another passenger, for example that guy who keeps loudly complaining about not getting enough pillows |
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Jan 12, 2020 00:36
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$1 per ticket for mid-flight lottery about whether and where to make an unscheduled stopover
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Jan 12, 2020 00:38
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$1000 to have the pilot announce literally anything over the intercom
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Jan 12, 2020 00:41
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| Legitimately do not know why they don't have slot machines on an airplane or Keno or something | |
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Jan 12, 2020 00:45
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$25 bathroom usage fee. for your convenience, the bathroom door acceps visa, mastercard and american express enjoy unlimited bathroom access for the duration of your flight for only $75 |
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Jan 12, 2020 00:46
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first passenger to spend $10,000 gets the right to determine whether every meal is garnished with chopped cilantro
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Jan 12, 2020 00:50
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after enough flights they let you fly the plane for a bit |
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Jan 12, 2020 00:57
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$20 to block any announcements from the pilot while you're watching your movie, per movie |
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Jan 12, 2020 00:59
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100 extra bucks and you get to fly naked |
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Jan 12, 2020 01:04
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$1500 for priority deboarding everyone else has to sit in their seats while you get your luggage from the overhead and make your way to the exit
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Jan 12, 2020 01:09
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$300 for 10 minutes in that bathroom stall that strangely has no commode in it
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Jan 12, 2020 01:11
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flight attendants now spout advertisements as they give you a glass of water |
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Jan 12, 2020 01:15
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Whenever someone asks for a glass of water, without further specifying it, give them a glass of salt water, for free. When they get real thirsty - offer them non salted water at outrages prices.
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Jan 12, 2020 01:20
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<3 
<3 Vanisher |
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This is out of left field but bear with me. Walking plane. In the UK, some primary (elementary?) schools have volunteers walk to school, picking up children at various 'stops' along the way. This reduces car use and encourages exercise, both very worthy ideas. How about we get our passengers to walk to their destinations, with the pilot at the head of the line? We save on fuel, wear and tear on the plane and all the complaining about whether it's acceptable to recline. This would be rolled out on domestic flights to start with, but I anticipate our savings beings such that development of floating treadmills for overseas journeys would be a drop, ahaha excuse me, in the ocean.
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Jan 12, 2020 01:22
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just start selling meth on board and be done with it already, jesus |
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Jan 12, 2020 01:23
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fartzilla posted:just start selling meth on board and be done with it already, jesus In the sky, there is no law |
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Jan 12, 2020 01:53
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is it too late to only use the planes that are fueled by gum? |
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Jan 12, 2020 01:53
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Free cigarettes |
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Jan 12, 2020 02:02
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Heather Papps posted:Free cigarettes NO 25 cents a loose dart |
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Jan 12, 2020 02:02
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pay $25 to interrupt all monitors with a message pay $100 to immunize yourself to those interruptions
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Jan 12, 2020 02:10
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plane start with no engines by default, $20 per person to add engine |
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Jan 12, 2020 02:13
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I just got to find something to do with all this gum |
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Jan 12, 2020 04:05
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get this: we will rebrand ourselves as "sex airlines." or I dunno even "gently caress airlines." nothing else will change but can you imagine the buzz.
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Jan 12, 2020 04:11
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Manifisto posted:get this: we will rebrand ourselves as "sex airlines." or I dunno even "gently caress airlines." nothing else will change but can you imagine the buzz. Yes. Consider adding bees. |
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Jan 12, 2020 04:20
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The_Rob posted:100 extra bucks and you get to fly naked would legit pay this fee. i also think an airline where you can bring a parachute and get off when you want would be a good idea. HALO insertions into small towns without airports
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Jan 12, 2020 09:08
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M-m-m-mystery flight! For $500 airport staff will blindfold you, and put you through the boarding process on a random flight of their choice. Are you going to Cuba? Berlin? Dubai? You'll find the answer several thousand feet in the air. Hope you tipped well. |
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Jan 12, 2020 13:47
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let's let idiots design a plane, sell essential software updates as DLC, and supervise this all with a pack of monkeys.
crimes |
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Jan 12, 2020 15:31
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Murder mystery airplane |
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Jan 12, 2020 17:23
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Escape room airplane It's the same as a normal airplane but we hide the plagues with safety instructions behind a fake wall or something. |
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Jan 12, 2020 17:24
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Fredrik1 posted:Murder mystery airplane Fredrik1 posted:Escape room airplane I like where this is going can we fit a ren faire in an airplane? the aisles should be long enough for jousting, yes?
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Jan 12, 2020 17:26
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:let's let idiots design a plane, sell essential software updates as DLC, and supervise this all with a pack of monkeys. listen i know it's easy stick with what we've already been doing but we have to think outside of the box here perhaps an algorithm to supervise instead of the monkeys?
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Jan 12, 2020 17:32
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i just bought out chimp.io, the unicorn software startup worth eighty billion dollars whose soul purpose is to replace having to use real chimps in movies with convincing CGI holographs programmed with AI, and also this AI powers simian combat robots who use powerful steel claws to tear the faces off insurgents. we can also use that AI for personelle management. crimes |
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Jan 12, 2020 17:55
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:let's let idiots design a plane, sell essential software updates as DLC, and supervise this all with a pack of monkeys. Literally what airplane manufacturers do already lol |
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Jan 12, 2020 18:01
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Fredrik1 posted:Murder mystery airplane this one would actually be super appealing and easy to implement, opt-in when you buy your ticket, lil instructions in the boarding pass, bam
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Jan 12, 2020 18:12
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what about a moviepass for flights $20 per month for unlimited flights i think this is the solution |
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Jan 12, 2020 18:40
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move the ejection button away from the call button
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Jan 12, 2020 18:46
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fartzilla posted:what about a moviepass for flights outstanding business model, here's three billion in venture capital
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Jan 12, 2020 19:03
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sata andagi posted:plane start with no engines by default, $20 per person to add engine Move the engines to an annual subscription model, don't shut the engines down and notify passengers that their subscription has expired until they're well off the ground. |
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Jan 12, 2020 19:21
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Manifisto posted:outstanding business model, here's three billion in venture capital four months later Dear FlightPass Subscriber, In order to continue providing you with the highest level of service, FlightPass is delighted to roll out a new, improved flight selection model. Under the new model, you are free to choose from a variety of one-way flights to the following countries: North Korea Iran Don't forget, you can still book as many one-way flights as you want each month! Thank you for trusting FlightPass, and safe travels! Edit: For your convenience, any future flights you have already booked through FlightPass have been converted to one-way flights to one of the countries listed above, whichever is closest to your original destination. fartzilla fucked around with this message at 20:14 on Jan 12, 2020 |
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Jan 12, 2020 20:10
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what if we took the wings off? are those important? can they be replaced with gum? |
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Jan 12, 2020 20:22
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