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Original thread: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3936256Ghost Leviathan posted:This is a thread about people who get really weird, angry and controlling about people not eating exactly what they eat, or just not obeying them at dinner in general. Militant vegans, militant carnivores, hypocritical vegans and carnivores, people who keep the salt and pepper shakers in a cupboard at all times and clearly only begrudgingly take them out on request for a guest to season a single plate with and immediately put them away afterwards... you probably know what I mean. Somehow everyone seems to have an experience with someone who gets incredibly, awkwardly and embarrassingly mad that someone else doesn't adhere to their incredibly arbitrary and white food rules. And not just because goons are all fat fucks. Let at it, bitch about these weird fuckers. This was a fun thread about yelling past each other about weird eating habits, meal rules, and broke-brained people who only drink mt dew and beer instead of water and fall into shocked silence when you suggest anything that isn't some form of fried chicken or cheese pizza. Dig in
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Aug 27, 2021 21:47
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| # ? Jun 1, 2024 15:05 |
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Some highlights from last time Weird family meal rules naem posted:my sisters husbands parents, her in laws, host a weekly sunday brunch and expect all 4 of their sons, their spouses, and the grandkids to attend EVERY WEEK. Drinking water? Like from the toilet??? Cheesus posted:I was like this for a long time. Pirate granny Internetjack posted:My grandma, RIP, was a plate mooch. She'd have her own plate of food but would always want a bite off everyone else's for whatever strange psychotic reason. Especially at restaurants.
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Aug 27, 2021 21:48
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IT IS PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE TO WALK INTO A RESTAURANT AND STARE AT SOMEBODY FOR 15 MINUTES WHILE YOUR FRIEND WHO WORKS THERE GRIEFS THEM OVER THEIR ORDER CHOICES, NO PROB BUB.
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Aug 27, 2021 21:50
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pirate granny is my new god
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Aug 27, 2021 21:58
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I'm apparently such an rear end in a top hat about my meat and cheese only soft shell tacos that the manager recognizedme after I hadn't been in there for a year (pandemic) and literally screamed at her employees not to get lettuce in my tacos. I don't recall making a scene but I am sure I terrified her somehow as I make it clear that I will politely be a huge bastard if they gently caress up my tacos
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Aug 27, 2021 22:00
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I want an update from naem on that situation to see if it's still equally bonkers.
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Aug 27, 2021 22:00
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Breakfast must be consumed with orange juice. Lunch and dinner must be consumed with ginger ale. Desserts and sweets must be consumed with whole milk. No substitutes. These are the rules of my former room mate. It didn't matter how much time I had spent preparing a meal, or what time of day it was. If the beverage rules were not followed, the meal could not begin until he returned from the store with his beverage, which required a two mile walk on his part. Oh, almost forgot that pizza required a side of hot giardiniera. Easy enough when ordering a pizza, not so much when cooking a frozen one, which also required doctoring in some fashion(extra cheese, garlic). No quick and easy with that rear end in a top hat, ever.
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Aug 27, 2021 22:04
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A friend once gave me the crazy eyes when I said that I put rice on beans instead of vice-versa (it's a brazilian thing)
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Aug 27, 2021 22:37
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Who What Now posted:I want an update from naem on that situation to see if it's still equally bonkers. yeh, I had forgotten all about that. I say just growl back, but louder. make pops your bitch
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Aug 27, 2021 22:47
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Big Scary Owl posted:A friend once gave me the crazy eyes when I said that I put rice on beans instead of vice-versa (it's a brazilian thing) it's a brazilian thing to put rice on beans? or beans on rice? Beans go on top, so the juices and what not can make it's way into the rice bed. rice on beans just seems like it'd be some 'bleh' rice on top of beans. I'm curious now. Do them side by side, at least.
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Aug 27, 2021 22:49
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Big Scary Owl posted:A friend once gave me the crazy eyes when I said that I put rice on beans instead of vice-versa (it's a brazilian thing) I mean I'd definitely never speak to you again if I saw that, and I'm just some American.
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Aug 27, 2021 22:59
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blight rhino posted:it's a brazilian thing to put rice on beans? or beans on rice? The usual thing is to have the beans on top yeah, but I usually separate them or have the rice on top. I like tasting them separately. Decon posted:I mean I'd definitely never speak to you again if I saw that, and I'm just some American. 
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Aug 27, 2021 23:00
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a young dude at my work has to fully deconstruct every meal before he can eat it. burger broken down into segments, meat/onions/other veg separated out of curry sauce, kebab arranged into small piles. I've never asked him about it because he has that kind of spree-killer aura
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Aug 27, 2021 23:01
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I think it’s me, I was the food weird. I grew up with food insecurity. My parents made drat sure we got a hot meal for dinner but often there wasn’t much of it. By end of the week we’d be “augmenting” the bits of casserole leftovers and soup with rice. My mom cooked a big pot of something Sunday and we’d eat off that for the rest of the week. I would babysit for ramen money since they were 10 for a dollar back then. School lunch was $2 and I was grateful for it. As an adult this left me with a paralyzing fear of not having enough food. I love dinner parties and bbqs and potlucks and all. But I’ll cook… uh… a lot. Like, three main courses seven side dishes and four or five appetizers for a group of six people. Want to bring something? Dessert! So we’d have rafts of leftovers and I’d send people home with takeout containers. This isn’t so bad, but I would do it at other potlucks too. “Well they asked me to make a side dish. So I’ll bring a bean salad, and I love making this sauce for it and that sauce goes well with bread so I’ll bake some of that and oh if I double the dough recipe I could use part of it for rolls if I buy some dried fruits to bake in them and I can make a second dip if I use the rest of the fruits mixed with cream cheese and” I’d show up with like 5 dishes and still be nervous. A strong aversion to waste (use that handful of leftover cherries in this other recipe!!) combined with crippling food insecurity meant I came with enough food for an army. I’m better now thanks to therapy about my crap childhood. Sorry friends for seeming rude, like I did t trust you to cook!!
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Aug 28, 2021 00:20
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Tuggin to cakefarts rn
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Aug 28, 2021 01:49
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i hate when people get real mad and jack off in the macaroni. it's like, what the hell, man?
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Aug 28, 2021 01:54
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My parents and family would rag on me for being picky since I always went straight for the Mac and cheese and rolls with butter and such instead of an actual entree but now I'm the one who eats weird exotic food and have been subsisting on sushi since I was a teenager and it turns out I just don't like Midwestern cuisine all that much!!
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Aug 28, 2021 02:05
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Hell Yeah posted:i hate when people get real mad and jack off in the macaroni. it's like, what the hell, man? I hate when everyone is sucking and loving on the macaroni, slobbing on the macaroni's knob and stroking their dicks off inside the macaroni, and then someone comes by to try and eat it
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Aug 28, 2021 02:08
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deadeyez posted:I'm apparently such an rear end in a top hat about my meat and cheese only soft shell tacos that the manager recognizedme after I hadn't been in there for a year (pandemic) and literally screamed at her employees not to get lettuce in my tacos. I don't recall making a scene but I am sure I terrified her somehow as I make it clear that I will politely be a huge bastard if they gently caress up my tacos lmao at you seething through your teeth "if I find even ONE loving piece of lettuce in my quesalupa combo so HELP me..." What those tacos lacked in iceberg they more than made up for in loogies
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Aug 28, 2021 02:46
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Sometimes I go to subway and dont feel bad about myself
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Aug 28, 2021 02:51
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one time i was at a bus station in calgary and a guy tried to fight me cuz i looked at his bacon and eggs
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Aug 28, 2021 03:51
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deadeyez posted:I'm apparently such an rear end in a top hat about my meat and cheese only soft shell tacos that the manager recognizedme after I hadn't been in there for a year (pandemic) and literally screamed at her employees not to get lettuce in my tacos. I don't recall making a scene but I am sure I terrified her somehow as I make it clear that I will politely be a huge bastard if they gently caress up my tacos You. It's you. You're the worst person on earth.
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Aug 28, 2021 03:51
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Who What Now posted:lmao at you seething through your teeth "if I find even ONE loving piece of lettuce in my quesalupa combo so HELP me..." I hate fast food lettuce in my tacos. These already aren't great, I'm paying you pennies for a meals worth of starch and meat, please don't make them worse by adding a fistful of wet lettuce devoid of nutrients or texture. But still if they forget and give me lettuce I won't complain because picking it out takes less than 10 seconds lol.
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Aug 28, 2021 03:55
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I have a coworker who hates certain categories of food, but he doesn't hate them for their taste, texture, or anything really that can be directly sensed from the food, but rather the food's biological origin. Basically, he refuses to eat anything that contains mushrooms or crustaceans, regardless of how indistinguishable or undetectable these ingredients may be in the food. One time when we were served a dish that supposedly had mushrooms in it, he told me flat out that he doesn't care if he can taste, smell, or in any way detect the presence of mushrooms; he just didn't want to eat it because he knew they were in there, and the thought of that disgusted him. He even confided to me the story of a time where he started eating a dish, thought it tasted great, then after being informed that it contained mushrooms, immediately felt sick and refused to eat any more. Regarding crustaceans, this guy has no problem with seafood in general. I'd even say he's less picky than the average American (he eats sashimi, octopus, ikura, even uni) but he absolutely refuses to eat crab or lobster meat. His reason? They look like "bugs" which he hates, and therefore he finds the idea of eating them disgusting.
Devils Affricate fucked around with this message at 07:12 on Aug 28, 2021 |
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Aug 28, 2021 04:57
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A chick called the cops on me because I ordered a vegetarian meal once. She got fired and the cop that actually responded got pantsed in front of the whole restaurant, utility belt and all.
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Aug 28, 2021 05:02
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how big was his dick?
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Aug 28, 2021 05:08
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I can't eat crustaceans that are intact enough to still look like an animal. Crustacean meat? Great! Peeled shrimp with the tail on? Sure! Whole lobster? Yeah, uh, sorry, can't do it, it's looking at me
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Aug 28, 2021 05:26
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Devils Affricate posted:I have a coworker who hates certain categories of food, but he doesn't hate them for their taste, texture, or anything really that can be directly sensed from the food, but rather the food's biological origin. Basically, he refuses to eat anything that contains mushrooms or crustaceans, regardless of how indistinguishable or undetectable these ingredients may be in the food. One time when we were served a dish that supposedly had mushrooms in it, he told me flat out that he doesn't care if he can taste, smell, or in any way detect the presence of mushrooms; he just didn't want to eat it because he knew they were in there, and the thought of that disgusted him. He even confided to me the story of a time where he started eating a dish, thought it tasted great, then after being informed that it contained mushrooms, immediately felt sick and refused to eat any more. Regarding crustaceans, this guy has no problem seafood in general. I'd even say he's less picky than the average American (he eats sashimi, octopus, ikura, even uni) but he absolutely refuses to eat crab or lobster meat. His reason? They look like "bugs" which he hates, and therefore he finds the idea of eating them disgusting. I don't eat mushrooms because I break out in hives when I do.
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Aug 28, 2021 05:44
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Devils Affricate posted:I have a coworker who hates certain categories of food, but he doesn't hate them for their taste, texture, or anything really that can be directly sensed from the food, but rather the food's biological origin. Basically, he refuses to eat anything that contains mushrooms or crustaceans, regardless of how indistinguishable or undetectable these ingredients may be in the food. Had a friend who had the same thing plus pigs. Because crustaceans eat poo poo, mushrooms grow in poo poo, and pigs live in poo poo. But my friend was culturally jewish & religiously 100% atheist, so was obviously just finding some rationalizations to keep doing the dietary rules he'd been raised with. Shrimp bad, pigs bad, therefore mushrooms also bad because they fit a pattern. I tactfully didn't mention that if you grow up in a rural farming area like I did, you know that everything else you eat gets a nice big helping of poo poo at some point. Cows are just as filthy as pigs. And you know it's spring when the whole town smells like poo poo because the manure spreading is happening. Every plant you eat was planted in a bed of poo poo. Plus he wasn't hysterical or psych himself into being sick, so I didn't give him poo poo about it.
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Aug 28, 2021 06:24
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Klyith posted:Cows are just as filthy as pigs. If what my ranching in-laws say about cows are true then there is a non-zero percent chance you have eaten a cow that has eaten a stray cat Nature be like that tho
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Aug 28, 2021 06:29
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PinheadSlim posted:If what my ranching in-laws say about cows are true then there is a non-zero percent chance you have eaten a cow that has eaten a stray cat Gotta get protein from somewhere.
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Aug 28, 2021 06:35
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I mean, in the US, chickens are kept so poorly they have constant infections and are chlorinated to kill e coli, so... I know they're just these weird little birds, but nothing should be forced into a cage with its face burnt half off, unable to even get away from its own poo poo. I'm not against an omnivorous diet at all, but dang. Basically, if you eat meat here, you're eating an animal that's lived in its own poo poo, even if that isn't their natural mode of being. Uh. Weird diet things... uh... I have a habit of eating umeboshi straight, and when I had access to cheap tobiko would just eat it with a spoon like a freaky lil gremlin. I guess I just like condiments?
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Aug 28, 2021 06:53
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Crops are covered in poo poo and then they absorb poo poo through their roots like gross little perverts.
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Aug 28, 2021 07:03
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But yes, factory farming is abhorrent.
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Aug 28, 2021 07:04
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super sweet best pal posted:I don't eat mushrooms because I break out in hives when I do. Understandable of course. The person I'm talking about has no allergies or otherwise negative physiological reactions to the food he refuses to eat. Klyith posted:Had a friend who had the same thing plus pigs. Because crustaceans eat poo poo, mushrooms grow in poo poo, and pigs live in poo poo. So, I've poked him on this topic a few times. I don't get the impression that there's any sort of cultural factor in play here. He's 2nd gen Taiwanese American, and I have other Taiwanese friends who don't express this sort of food aversion at all. In fact, they give him poo poo for it. There's no sort of rationalization on his part that gets applied to how the animals in question feed or dwell. He's just weirded out by mushrooms and bugs. 
Devils Affricate fucked around with this message at 07:16 on Aug 28, 2021 |
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Aug 28, 2021 07:07
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i used to say the same thing about crusteceans, but then my friend was like "bugs have goo inside, shrimp and crabs are made of meat. they're not bugs at all" and obviously we were extremely high but my whole attitude changed right there
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Aug 28, 2021 07:09
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Big Scary Owl posted:A friend once gave me the crazy eyes when I said that I put rice on beans instead of vice-versa (it's a brazilian thing) I'm judging you as well you herege.
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Aug 28, 2021 07:11
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Elentor posted:I'm judging you as well you herege. 
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Aug 28, 2021 07:16
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WILDTURKEY101 posted:i used to say the same thing about crusteceans, but then my friend was like "bugs have goo inside, shrimp and crabs are made of meat. they're not bugs at all" and obviously we were extremely high but my whole attitude changed right there I've actually tried telling him this. He's not a stupid man but his phobia is clearly beyond reason and seems to be focused on their exoskeleton. I've asked him about various animals and he just seems to despise all arthropods. Maybe there's a word for this?
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Aug 28, 2021 07:19
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| # ? Jun 1, 2024 15:05 |
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There is an older woman in my family, 65-ish, who has horrible eating habits and it stresses everyone out. She will get hooked onto the idea of one food like lamb chops and eggs and just eat that only for months at a time. Right now its Maltesers (malted milk balls). She's often in a bad mood and has terrible health and often tries to remedy this with various food fads like mangosteen, camel milk, collagen powders, bone broth, etc. She's a snake oil salesman's dream. She doesn't drink water. Mostly lipton sugarless flavored ice tea and non-sugarless orange soda. Chips. Forget bringing her to a restaurant. Any sort of garnish gets pushed aside and she makes "eew! eew! shrieking noises" and pulls faces. I grew up being taught table manners and getting a jab in the ribs from grandma if I pulled faces at restaurants and its kind of embarrassing for everyone to have this adult woman in her 60s shaking her head at a sprig of cilantro.
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Aug 28, 2021 08:15
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