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Relive the heavyweight madness of January here. Congratulations on surviving January and welcome to a beautiful February with the rest of us. This month's thread title courtesy of LobsterMobster. If this is your first time here you should stop and say hi so we know it's not just the same couple dozen of us cussing each other out all the time, but you may want to start with The General Q&A Thread for the basic gist of mixed martial arts. I WAS going to post a new one in January, but then Omicron hosed up a bunch of my scheduling. New Q&A thread will be up this month instead. If this ISN'T your first time here, and you want to talk about MMA or combat sports events that aren't included in this breakdown: Please do. Go nuts. I will never be able to get everything and I have only watched like two or three KSW cards in my life. THIS MONTH'S PUNCHSPORTS EVENTS 
 
IS THERE ANY NEWS Fight picking championships are back on the menu. Come take part in our fantasy pastime.  Francis Ngannou is still the UFC's heavyweight champion and is still adamant he's not fighting with them again unless they give him much more money or much more freedom. He's going to be taking most of the year off for knee surgery anyway, but future prospects for him in the UFC don't look good unless Dana White blinks.  This doesn't quite fit into the 'upcoming events' category, but the Professional Fighters League is getting an early start to their year this month with the PFL Challenger Series, an attempt to resurrect the old Strikeforce Challengers events that focused on smaller events with lesser-known fighters but were the canonical television debuts for future stars like Amanda Nunes, Daniel Cormier and Anthony Smith. It airs on a streaming platform I've never loving heard of named fuboTV and will run weekly for six straight weeks, beginning February 18th at 6 PM PST/9 PM EST. So if you have whatever fuboTV is, that could be fun. WHERE ELSE CAN I TALK TO LIKE-MINDED PEOPLE ABOUT VIOLENCE? Any of the following hangouts:
DO WE HAVE OTHER COMMUNAL THREADS? So many.
WHAT IF I HATE FORUM SOFTWARE? Through the magic of instant messaging and 40 year-old technology, you have, at a minimum, two exciting options!
 Disclaimer: these places are not here and somethingawful's rules and liability do not extend to them and complaining about IRC stuff is still offsite drama posting
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WHAT HAPPENED IN JANUARY It was a month of karmic fistic justice. The year got its start with Invicta FC's return from a half-year of dormancy, featuring the best of women's fighters you've never heard of. Up-and-comer Ramona Pascual made her US debut by smashing a woman's liver with knees in a one-minute knockout and Hailey Cowan got a pretty good choke, but mostly the best non-Japanese atomweight in the world, Jéssica Delboni, won back the world championship she probably shouldn't have lost in the first place. The UFC kicked its year off with Fight Night: Kattar vs Chikadze, which had some ups and downs--you'd have Bill Algeo and Joanderson Brito put on a hell of a show but then Jake Collier and Chase Sherman would remind you how lame heavyweights can be. The card was almost entirely about its main event, however, and it delivered in spades, as Calvin Kattar overcame underdog odds and put on a near-perfect performance, derailing the massive Giga Chikadze hype train by entirely disarming his offense and battering him to a wide decision victory. They followed this with UFC 270: Ngannou vs Gane. This was a deeply anticipated card for both punchsport and political reasons, and it overdelivered on nearly all accounts. Almost every fight on the card wound up being awesome, with particularly high marks going to Matt Frevola giving Genaro Valdéz eighteen concussions in three minutes, Jack Della Maddalena making an incredibly impressive UFC debut and Said Nurmagomedov (no relation) submitting the incredibly tough Cody Stamann in forty-seven seconds. The fight of the night, unquestionably, belonged to the co-main event flyweight championship fight, as Deiveson Figueiredo and Brandon Moreno had an instant fight of the year candidate that saw Figueiredo narrowly regain his title. The main event was much more of a hilarious fight than a great fight, as a one-kneed Francis Ngannou powerslammed and outwrestled the poo poo out of Ciryl Gane to an extremely improbable decision, pissing Dana White off so much that two weeks later he's still making excuses for why he didn't show up for the post-fight ceremonials or pressers. Sun set on January with Bellator 273: Bader vs Moldavsky. It was a Very Bellator Card, as multiple people were fighting that no one had heard of, a fight ended on a technical foul and the main event was a very boring Ryan Bader fight, but it was still ultimately an interesting night, with former champion Darrion Caldwell getting TKOed for the first time in his career by recent UFC castoff Enrique Barzola, Benson Henderson reliving the past by winning a controversial split decision, and Ryan Bader narrowly holding onto his heavyweight championship by outwrestling and outgassing Valentin Moldavsky. WHAT'S COMING IN FEBRUARY Boy, a lot of stuff. The slow start to the year is officially over and we're right back to having way too many cards. We kick off with UFC Fight Night: Hermansson vs Strickland on February 5. This is, on paper, Not A Great Card. Sam Alvey is on the main card. It's very hard for a card to be good when Sam Alvey is on it. Julian Erosa and Steven Peterson should be fun, and Phil Hawes will hopefully hit Sam Alvey a lot, and the main event will test Jack Hermansson's ability to stop the five-fight win streak of a weird psychotic transphobe. We're then off to Singapore for ONE Championship: Bad Blood on February 11. This is a pay-per-view, and it's made largely of people you haven't heard of, and it airs at 5 AM EST, which are all very good reasons not to watch it. But: In addition to a co-main event featuring the best ONE FC-tier heavyweights the Russian region has to offer, the main event sees Bibiano Fernandes, one of the best non-UFC featherweights in the history of mixed martial arts, defending his championship against John God Damned Lineker, one of the most violent little punching golems in the world. I cannot imagine many people are going to watch it live, but by god look for gifs on twitter when you wake up that morning. From there we transition into the month's muchly-anticipated pay-per-view, UFC 271: Adesanya vs Whittaker 2 on February 12. While there's still time for COVID and injuries to wreak havoc as they are wont to do, as of this moment in time the card is pretty loving great, from violence elementals Douglas Silva de Andrade and Renato Moicano on the early prelims to Andrei Arlovski and Roxanne Modafferi's retirement fight on the regular prelims to Bobby Green, Jared Cannonier, Derek Brunson, Tai Tuivasa and Derrick goddamn Lewis in primetime. The main event speaks for itself, and may well constitute the only credible threat left at middleweight to Israel Adesanya's dominance. We drop back into MMA comedy after that with UFC Fight Night: dos Anjos vs Fiziev on February 19, which is unironically a fight taking place because both men are named Rafael. It should still rule, though. The undercard also includes Johnny Walker vs Jamahil Hill, which is a real interesting fight in terms of sizing up the bottom half of the light-heavyweight top ten, Ilir Latifi continuing his very funny life as a 5'10" heavyweight taking on a 15-0 prospect in Alexander Romanov, and Jim Miller coming off the first KO victory of his loving 17-year-long career. Or, alternately, you could instead choose to watch Bellator's competing event on the same night, Bellator 274: Gracie vs Storley. It's not a championship fight, it's not even necessarily a title eliminator, both guys are 1 for their last 2 and Storley's loss was to Yaroslav Amosov, Bellator's current welterweight champion, whom he'd be hoping to fight again. Even by Bellator standards this card isn't very good. Please watch the UFC instead, unless you're really, really into the Gracie family. Bellator gets the next crack at bat, too, with Bellator 275: Mousasi vs Vanderford on February 25. This is, numerically speaking, a giant loving card with 13 confirmed fights and four more Bellator is still attempting to finalize, which makes more sense when you realize this is Bellator's return to Dublin and they're desperately trying to win over some of the Irish fanbase with just a whole bunch of fights. This is also why the main card is 3/4 made up of features for Irish fighters, which I have a feeling could backfire on Bellator, being as every single one of those Irish fighters is coming off of a loss, two of which were violent knockouts. But the main event is solid, with Gegard Mousasi defending his middleweight championship against Austin Vanderford who, depending on where your fandom lies, is best known for either a) being a promising, 11-0 middleweight prospect, b) being a regular feature on Submission Underground who genuinely impressed by tapping out the very tough Richie Martinez, or c) being Paige VanZant's husband and nude photography buddy. And the month closes out with UFC Fight Night: Dariush vs Makhachev on February 26. This looks to be something of a housecleaning card, with several struggling fighters pitted against one another to see who the UFC decides it can cut--1 for his last 5 Misha Cirkunov vs 2 for his last 5 Wellington Turman, bounced-from-contendership Ryan Spann vs an Ion Cutelaba who's only won two fights in the last four years, Ji Yeon Kim on a losing streak vs the underperforming Priscilla Cachoeira, that sort of thing--but the main event more or less is the card, with Beneil Dariush riding the hottest streak of his career into a collision with the massively touted 21-1 Islam Makhachev, with the winner staking a pretty solid claim to the next crack at the lightweight champion.
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CURRENT UFC CHAMPIONS Heavyweight Champion, 265+ lbs   Francis Ngannou - 17-3, 1 DefenseAfter getting dicked about by the UFC for most of 2021, Francis "The Predator" Ngannou met both the biggest challenge of his career and the nexus of his promotional challenges in the form of a championship unification match against heavyweight striking savant and (bullshit) interim champion Ciryl Gane. For all of his punching prowess, Ngannou found himself getting pretty soundly outstruck and on the road to a decision loss--and he adjusted by channeling Mark Coleman and repeatedly tossing Gane on his rear end with double-legs and powerslams. In what was somehow a simultaneously incredible and disappointing performance, Francis Ngannou won a unanimous decision, notched his first title defense, turned away his stiffest challenge, and went home with his future one great big question mark. He's made a lot of noise about going into boxing thanks to the UFC's refusal to stop paying him peanuts, but his contract situation is complicated by his standing as a champion, particularly as his MCL and ACL are injured and will need surgery, which will likely mean sitting out most if not all of the next year anyway and possibly dealing with a contract freeze. It all depends on how lovely the UFC decides to be to him, but the best gauge for that is Dana White's auspicious absence at the post-fight belt ceremony and post-card press conference. For now, Francis Ngannou is taking the belt home to heal. What happens after that is anyone's guess. Light-Heavyweight Champion, 205 lbs   Glover Teixeira - 33-7, 0 DefensesMost folks did not see this one coming, and I was definitively one of them. Glover Teixeira is MMA's new old-man punching champion, a fighter with 20 years banked in the sport who won his first world championship just two days after his 42nd birthday. Teixeira was actually first scouted by the UFC back in 2008, but illegal residency meant having to return to Brazil for three years while awaiting a work visa. He made his UFC debut in 2012, immediately rattled off five dominant wins thanks to heavy hands and a terrifying top game, and promptly got his poo poo hosed all the way up by Jon Jones. He settled into a role as a reliable, aging gatekeeper--a win over OSP here, a mauling by Alex Gustafsson there--but in the smoking crater that is the post-Jones, post-Cormier light-heavyweight division he put together a five-fight winning streak that included breaking former title challenger Anthony Smith's teeth and choking out Thiago Santos, and despite being a +300 underdog, he shocked the world by dominating and submitting standing champion Jan Błachowicz in just two rounds. He'll be trying to hang onto his Cinderella moment at UFC 274 on May 7, when he defends his title against genuine madman Jiří Procházka. Middleweight Champion, 185 lbs   Israel Adesanya - 21-1, 3 DefensesIsrael "The Last Stylebender" Adesanya is both MMA's biggest new star and a cautionary tale about becoming a big new star. A multiple-time, multiple-weight kickboxing tournament champion with something like a 75-5 record, Adesanya's transition to MMA was seamless and his rise meteoric: He entered the UFC in 2018 at 11-0, and within a year he was 17-0 and an interim champion, followed by an undisputed champion, followed by a defending champion. His striking skills, his charisma, his implacable nerdery and his occasionally being kind of a shithead were all the right catalysts to make him a star, and the UFC pushed him to the moon. After two defenses, they decided to capitalize on Izzymania by pushing him straight to a champion vs champion match against the just-crowned 205-pound kingpin Jan Błachowicz, wholly intent on throwing even more promotional weight behind their most marketable new fighter--and Błachowicz beat him in a competitive but clear decision that forced the Adesanya marketing back down to Earth. He recorded another victory against Marvin Vettori, and is now expected to meet former champion Robert Whittaker again at UFC 271 on February 12. Welterweight Champion, 170 lbs  Kamaru Usman - 19-1, 4 Defenses"The Nigerian Nightmare" had to work harder than anticipated in November. Usman/Covington 2, a rematch very few people outside of the UFC's top brass wanted, seemed at first like the one-sided beating most people had hoped for, but Colby Covington's shitheadedness is matched only by his toughness and he was able to give Usman serious trouble in the back half of the fight. Usman won a hard-fought but clear decision, and now stands as unquestionably the UFC's greatest male champion, an incredibly tough, well-rounded and cerebral fighter who now holds the second-longest reign in welterweight history, but what comes next is unclear. The 19-3 Leon Edwards is a seemingly clear contender, but the UFC's palpable distaste for him has been a continual thorn in the side of his title aspirations and the loss of the Edwards/Masvidal fight this month puts his contendership hopes in jeopardy. Vicente Luque has been building a case, but lacks a top-tier win to cement it. The UFC would, of course, love to catapult Khamzat Chimaev into contendership, but arranging top-class fights for him has proven difficult. Usman is most likely to enjoy a vacation while the UFC figures out what the gently caress it's doing next. Lightweight Champion, 155 lbs  Charles Oliveira - 32-8 (1), 1 DefenseThe resurgence is real. Charles Oliveira was in the UFC for eleven years before he received and won a title shot, and that's not a thing that happens. A BJJ specialist with an extremely tricky, aggressive style, Oliveira was seen by many as a future champion at the start of his UFC tenure and was securing top-card PPV berths after just two fights--and then the inconsistence and lack of focus that would define his career for most of a decade set in. He'd pull off incredible victories, vault back toward contendership, and get hosed up by gatekeepers like Cowboy Cerrone or Cub Swanson. He'd take down incredible grapplers like Hatsu Hioki one minute, then get guillotined by Ricardo Lamas the next. Around 2018, as Oliveira entered his tenth year of fighting at the wizened old age of 28, he apparently figured out his poo poo: He's won his last nine straight fights, culminating in violently knocking out Michael Chandler to win the Khabib-vacated lightweight championship. As of now, he has the most submissions in UFC history, the most FINISHES in UFC history, the highest finishing ratio in UFC history, and his name in the books as the best in the world. His December showdown with Dustin Poirier saw him suffering a couple of scary knockdowns in the first round, but he rebounded immediately, butchered Poirier in the clinch, controlled him on the ground and ultimately choked him out in three rounds. The lightweight division has an undisputed champion again, and he'll be defending his title against Justin Gaethje on May 7. Featherweight Champion, 145 lbs   Alexander Volkanovski - 23-1, 2 DefensesFeatherweight, in its decade of existence, has been one of the biggest divisions for the UFC. Out of four champions in total, three were almost mythical figures in the sport: Jose Aldo, the poor kid from the slums who slept in his gym and became the best fighter on the planet, begat Conor McGregor, the biggest star in the history of the sport, whose poo poo-talking was second only to his ability to back it up (until the cocaine years), begat Max Holloway, a force of nature so prolific in his violence that it broke the UFC's striking differentials. Alexander Volkanovski, by contrast, isn't an insanely talented kickboxer, or a swaggering racist counterpuncher, or the best volume striker in the sport's history. He's just really, really loving good at mixed martial arts. He's rock-solid in every aspect of his game, so much so that the only loss in his career came four fights in--at welterweight. He broke down Aldo, he turned away Max Holloway twice--though some disagree with the second time--and just last week he had an absolute war with Brian Ortega that showcased maybe the scariest aspect of his game: The way that, when put in bad positions like chokes that would finish almost anyone in the sport, he finds his way out of trouble, adjusts his tactics, and gets bloody, painful revenge. Max Holloway defeated Yair Rodriguez in what was looked at as a potential title eliminator, making Volkanovski/Holloway 3 an inevitability this year--until they jinxed the fight by daring to actually book it, at which point it was scratched within a day thanks to a Holloway injury. With Brian Ortega and Yair Rodriguez having just lost, Chan Sung Jung won the short-notice sweepstakes, so at UFC 273 on April 9 it'll be Rugby Volko vs The Korean Zombie for the featherweight championship. Bantamweight Champion, 135 lbs   Aljamain Sterling - 20-3, 0 DefensesAlright, this one's gonna be kind of a Thing. Aljamain Sterling is an exceptional fighter. After rifling off five straight wins at bantamweight he earned a shot at Petr "No Mercy" Yan, the undisputed king of the weight class. Sterling made a good accounting for himself, and was actually up on one judge's scorecard heading into the fourth round, but he was also visibly fatigued and getting the poo poo kicked out of him. Unfortunately, Petr Yan is an enormous jackass, and threw a grounded knee at Sterling's face that was as illegal as it was hilariously intentional. Having been cracked in the head by one of the best fighters in the world Sterling was deemed unable to continue, and in doing so earned the ignominious honor of becoming the first person to ever win a UFC championship by disqualification. The entire internet very quickly decided the problem wasn't the trained world champion throwing illegal strikes, but the 20-3, decade-tenured fighter who was actually a huge coward who should be ashamed of himself, because the internet makes you stupid. Interim Bantamweight Champion   Petr Yan - 16-2, 0 DefensesYan and Sterling were supposed to have their rematch at UFC 267 this past month, but when Sterling pulled out over medical issues, Cory Sandhagen stepped in for an interim championship bout. After a grueling fight of the year contender, thanks to his ridiculous toughness and even more ridiculous boxing, Yan emerged victorious. UFC ring announcer Joe Martinez pointedly left out the "interim" when pronouncing him the two-time bantamweight champion. Yan and Sterling immediately resumed jawing on twitter, and at last, barring any further injury, Sterling and Yan will reunify the titles at UFC 273 on April 9. Flyweight Champion, 125 lbs  Deiveson Figueiredo - 21-2-1, 0 DefensesWe have come so far, and yet we are still where we were. On December 12, 2020, Deiveson Figueiredo shockingly went to a draw with heavy underdog Brandon Moreno. On June 12, 2021, Moreno even more shockingly dropped and choked him out, wrestling the flyweight championship from his hands. On January 22, 2022, the two met for the third time and the result was an instant fight of the year candidate that saw both men trade the advantage in striking, grappling and wrestling alike back and forth, but Figueiredo's smart adjustments from their second fight won him a razor-close but still unanimous decision and the return of the flyweight championship. And now, having fought each other three times in thirteen months and finally finished their trilogy, the next stop for new champion Deiveson Figueiredo is...probably his fourth consecutive Brandon Moreno fight, because they're now a hilariously even 1-1-1 and they were talking about a final match in Mexico before they even left the cage. Ten years from now people will speak with hushed reverence of the Figueiredo/Moreno wars and how amazing the back take in their fourteenth rematch was. Women's Featherweight, 145 lbs  Amanda Nunes - 21-5, 2 DefensesI really did not expect to have to rewrite either of these sections, and doing it still feels wrong. Amanda "The Lioness" Nunes is the undisputed greatest women's fighter of all time, having demolished not just every contender placed in front of her but every previous champion at both women's bantamweight and featherweight. Her 135-pound defense against Julianna Peña at UFC 269 was looked at by most as an afterthought. And then, she lost. Not only did she lose, she lost and looked so bad in doing so that most of her fans are left wondering if COVID-19 ruined her. A rematch against Peña is already in the books for later this year, but for the moment, Amanda Nunes is only the women's featherweight champion, and if she DOES win a rubber match is a virtual necessity, meaning the featherweight division could be on hold for a year or more. Which is even funnier now, because it appears the UFC, rather than rolling straight into a fight, is going to have Nunes and Peña be the opposing coaches for this year's 30th season of The Ultimate Fighter, which means we in all likelihood won't get to their rematch until the late summer. Women's Bantamweight, 135 lbs  Julianna Peña - 11-4, 0 DefensesJulianna Peña shocked the world. Absolutely no one gave her a chance against Amanda Nunes, as my previous threads are now embarrassing evidence of, and the precious few people who did thought her only chance involved avoiding direct exchanges as much as possible and dragging Nunes into the deep waters in the clinch until she wore down in the later rounds. The first round seemed to bear this out entirely, as Nunes dropped her twice and seemed fairly in control of the match, and then somehow in the second round Julianna Peña, who was once on the wrong end of the striking of 4-3 flyweight Nicco Montaño, outboxed and repeatedly wobbled Amanda Nunes, and somehow, Julianna Peña, who was once choked out by noted non-grappler Germaine de Randamie, submitted Amanda Nunes with a rear naked choke. The world is still in such absolute disbelief about the fight's outcome that despite having walked Nunes down, punched her silly and choked her out in eight minutes, betting for the rematch opened with Nunes still a -250 favorite to regain her crown. Julianna Peña is the biggest story in MMA right now, and the UFC's intention to capitalize on it by parlaying her victory into a new season of The Ultimate Fighter means she'll get to enjoy the spotlight quite a bit longer. Look forward to even more podcasts about how COVID is fake and she doesn't know how old she is. Women's Flyweight, 125 lbs   Valentina Shevchenko - 22-3, 6 DefensesValentina "Bullet" Shevchenko has multiple news articles and interviews about denying that she is a spy. She has multiple black belts, holds national titles in boxing, kickboxing, muay thai and judo, speaks four languages, has been personally recognized by the President of Kyrgyzstan, and is an excellent dancer, motorcycle enthusiast and trained pistol marksman who was knocking out adults at 12. But she is definitely not a spy. She is, however, a problem for the UFC. Valentina Shevchenko is an exceptionally good fighter. She has always been an exceptionally good fighter, and she has only gotten better. The UFC established women's flyweight as a marketing engine for The Ultimate Fighter, ultimately stripped its inaugural champion after she refused multiple fights and was physically incapable of cutting weight, and Valentina immediately won the vacant belt, and that was 1,117 days ago and she has shown no sign whatsoever of letting it go. Her game is so well-rounded and her technique so well-executed that she has opened a gulf so wide between herself and her challengers that they've entered sacrificial lamb territory. She's already successfully defended the title against half of the top ten of the division, and the other half have been beaten by the people she smashed. Until this past month, the internet was deeply invested in a third match between Shevchenko and Nunes. Then Nunes got got. Now people are mostly wondering if, should Nunes lose again, the rational next fight for Shevchenko is a title vs title match against Julianna Peña--being as Shevchenko submitted her four years ago. Women's Strawweight, 115 lbs  Rose Namajunas - 11-4, 1 Defenses"Thug" Rose Namajunas is still on top of the world. Her UFC 268 rematch with Weili Zhang was controversial both in conception and execution, and Zhang's strength and wrestling consistently gave the champion trouble, but Rose's versatility and adaptability ultimately won her a split decision victory and the first successful defense of her new reign. ROGUES GALLERY: NOTABLE CHAMPIONS ACROSS THE WORLD Bellator Heavyweight Champion, 265 lbs  Ryan Bader - 29-7 (1), 1 DefensesMy anti-Bader agenda must wait awhile longer for satisfaction, and I must confront the likelihood that I, too, am a Bader hater. After winning The Ultimate Fighter 8 with his powerful wrestle-boxing abilities, coming one Jon Jones away from a 205-pound title shot and amassing a total record of 15-5 within the organization, Ryan Bader left the UFC on a two-fight win streak and they allowed him to go off to Bellator essentially unimpeded, seeing him as no great loss. In some ways they were wrong, and in some ways, they were very, very right. Ryan Bader stormed Bellator, winning his first five straight fights, becoming its simultaneous heavyweight and light-heavyweight champion and earning himself a modicum of the respect and attention that he felt he deserved. Having gotten his spotlight, he promptly went to a no-contest when he poked Cheick Kongo in the eye, and then lost his light-heavyweight title when Vadim Nemkov beat the absolute poo poo out of him, and then he had to wrestle a decision away from a 43 year-old Lyoto Machida, and then he got knocked out of Bellator's 205-pound grand prix when Corey Anderson smoked him in fifty-one seconds. In January Bader held onto his one remaining accolate in Bellator's heavyweight championship by the skin of his teeth, barely taking a decision over interim champion Valentin Moldavsky. Because of the incredibly silly way Bellator works, it was his first successful title defense after more than one thousand days as champion. He's expected to make his second defense in a two-years-belated rematch with Cheick Kongo this summer. Bellator Light-Heavyweight Champion, 205 lbs  Vadim Nemkov - 15-2, 2 DefensesOne of the most successful fighters to come out of Fedor Emelianenko's training camp, Vadim Nemkov is a four-time sambo world champion, a former Spetsnaz operative, a 6'0" steroid golem and definitively the best light-heavyweight outside of the UFC today. Which is funny, because he has two losses in his 15-2 career and the most definitive of them was a loss at the hands of the UFC's current top contender, the Czech samurai Jiří Procházka. Nemkov has rattled off 9 straight wins since 2015, including two victories over Phil Davis, a submission victory over former middleweight champion Rafael Carvalho, and his crowning achievement, a headkick knockout that wrested Bellator's 205 title away from Ryan Bader, avenging his master and returning the universal to its rightful configuration in the process. He's currently two rounds deep in Bellator's light-heavyweight grand prix, and will be facing Corey Anderson later this year to determine its victor. Bellator Middleweight Champion, 185 lbs   Gegard Mousasi - 48-7-2, 1 DefenseGegard Mousasi turned 36 this year and has 57 MMA fights and 5 kickboxing fights to his name, which is a preposterous amount until you realize he began fighting at 17 and never looked back. He is not just the best middleweight outside of the UFC but may well be the best fighter outside of the UFC--and, frankly, he should still be there. The UFC let Mousasi go on a five-fight win streak that included stoppage victories over Thiago Santos, Vitor Belfort, Uriah Hall and Chris Weidman, because he was upset about the Reebok deal killing his sponsorship money and that after four years, five main events, twelve fights and top contendership status he was still making $90k to show, which is the same amount of money they pay Sam loving Alvey. He left for Bellator and the embrace of his former Strikeforce boss Scott Coker and has gone on to a 6-1 record and two separate reigns as Bellator's middleweight champion. Mousasi's one of the most well-rounded fighters in the game and has been for a very long time--the patch on his career is his inconsistent application of his skills. Sometimes he will blow out Rory MacDonald or make Chris Weidman look like they don't belong in the same ring together, sometimes he will struggle to best mid-40s Lyoto Machida. He remains an extremely, extremely good fighter, as evidenced by having only seven losses in almost twenty years of fighting and only three of them against people who were not world champions. He'll be defending his title against 11-0 Austin Vanderford at Bellator Dublin on February 25. Bellator Welterweight Champion, 170 lbs   Yaroslav Amosov - 26-0, 0 DefensesYaroslav "Dynamo" Amosov is in that very strange place where he's simultaneously one of the most successful prospects in the sport and a fighter almost no one feels a need to pay attention to. He's a four-time world champion in sambo, he's undefeated in nearly a decade of mixed martial arts competition, he has a 26-0 record at just 28 years old and he dominated the very tough Douglas Lima to become the first Ukrainian MMA world champion (you came so close, Igor), and he has a total of 1,253 Twitter followers. Some of it is exposure--it probably doesn't help that Amosov was on Bellator's prelims just before his title eliminator--and some of it is a very tactical and sometimes control-centric style that does not lend itself well to attracting viewers, as seen in a 7-0 Bellator record with only two stoppages, one of which was a doctor's stoppage on cuts between rounds. Look at you, you found the experiment! First person to quote this in the thread gets something stupid from Steam. The fact that he's a 26-0 world champion and is still mostly being looked at as a prospect is a testament to both the amount of talent he very clearly has and the way everyone's still kind of waiting for something big to happen to him, which, uh, also indicates where Bellator is in the pecking order of the collective MMA consciousness. Bellator is going to attempt to finally cash in on their many years of can-crushing by having Amosov defend his title against weirdo striker Michael "Venom" Page on May 13. Bellator Lightweight Champion, 155 lbs  Patricky "Pitbull" Freire - 24-10, 0 DefensesBellator's lightweight division is in a deeply unfortunate place right now. Bellator's canonical best fighter, for a very long time, was the reigning Featherweight and Lightweight double champion Patricio Pitbull, who knocked out some guy you may have heard of named Michael Chandler to win the latter. He's one of the best fighters on the planet. This is not him. This is his twin brother Patricky, who is one inch taller and also less good. Patricio held the lightweight championship without defending it for two years until the moment Bellator agreed to put Patricky in a championship main event, at which point he coincidentally decided to vacate the belt and focus on 145. Patricky also got the title shot coming off two consecutive losses, one of which was a somewhat absurd cut stoppage in a fight he was winning against Peter "The Showstopper" Queally, who himself was only 11-6 at the time and was delivered into title contention based on a victory over a guy who never won a Bellator fight. (The secret: He was Irish and the title fight was in Dublin.) Patricky won the rematch handily and is now the champion of a lightweight division where the two top contenders are 4-1 and 3-0 respectively and when you talk about him most people think you're talking about his brother. Bellator Featherweight Champion, 145 lbs  A.J. McKee - 18-0, 0 DefensesBad trees can bear amazing fruits. There was once a fighter named Antonio "Mandingo" McKee who at 24-3-2, despite a very viewer-unfriendly style, laid claim to being the best lightweight in the world and proclaimed the UFC too scared of him beating their favorite fighters to sign him. They signed him. He was promptly defeated by living garbage elemental Jacob "Christmas" Volkmann in one of the worst fights in the promotion's history. They released him immediately. Then he got punched out by Shinya Aoki and retired in disgrace. A.J. McKee is his 26 year-old son, and somehow, he is really, really loving good. A tall, lanky featherweight at 5'10" with a 73.5" reach, McKee has gone a perfect 18-0 over the first six years of his career and proven himself a threat as both a striker, wrestler and grappler. His crowning achievement came over the very long two years of Bellator's featherweight grand prix as he stormed the bracket, not just winning but stopping all four of his opponents, culminating in a victory over defending champion and unquestionably Bellator's best fighter Patrício "Pitbull" Freire that saw him headkick, punch and choke Pitbull unconscious in two minutes. As is traditional, having officially made a name for himself in Bellator, McKee immediately began publicly agitating for the chance to go to the UFC. Asked for comment on the situation, his father Antonio McKee replied: quote:“It’s out of my hands now,” he said. “I couldn’t get what I needed across. One, he’s my son. Two, I’m his trainer, so it seems like a conflict of interest, but when did you know for a Black man to go ask a Jewish man to pay his Black son money. When has that ever worked? When have they ever wrote a check to another Black man for the value of his self? No, I have to let wolves dance with the wolves. I’m a lion. I can’t be in the same place. Antonio McKee: Retired, still the worst. I hope A.J. gets whatever the gently caress he wants, because he is an absolutely incredible fighter and at 26 he's got a potentially long career to be incredible in. Bellator Bantamweight Champion, 135 lbs  Sergio Pettis - 22-5, 1 DefenseSo Sergio Pettis is good now, apparently. It's not that he was ever bad, exactly, it's that he was more or less forever in big brother Anthony's shadow. Sergio had a long five years in the UFC where he on several occasions seemed poised to break out into the top ranks and vie for a title, but he always managed to fall just short, building a strong win streak before getting controlled by Henry Cejudo, barely squeaking past Joe Benavidez only to get dominated by Jussier Formiga, moving up to 135 and getting shut down by Rob Font. He went to Bellator just a few months before his brother left for the PFL, and now, in a stunning turnaround, Sergio is the successful one in the family. He won Bellator's bantamweight championship in his third fight with the organization, and in the biggest fight of his career, an interpromotional match pitting his title against Rizin bantamweight champion (and former Bellator champion himself, who vacated due to injury) Kyoji Horiguchi, Pettis shocked the world by battling through four difficult rounds he was fairly clearly losing and knocking out the heavy favorite with a painfully pretty spinning backfist. Sergio Pettis is no longer an also-ran. He also, unfortunately, lacks a clear contender. Bellator Women's Featherweight Champion, 145 lbs  Cris Cyborg - 25-2 (1), 3 DefensesYup. It's 2021 and Cris Cyborg is still out there. For those who don't know, Cris Cyborg was the canonical women's featherweight fighter, a muay thai wrecking machine who didn't just beat but brutalized essentially all of her opponents, including ex-Star Wars Gina Carano, and her popularity as a destroyer of humans is the only real reason women's featherweight even exists as a division, to the point that the UFC added it when she was the only actual fighter at the weight class they employed. She was 20-1 (1) when she passed the torch to Amanda Nunes, who slew her in just fifty-one seconds. She took one more fight in the UFC to complete her contract, but left for Bellator almost immediately afterward with uncharacteristic cooperation from the UFC itself--after all, they'd gotten what they wanted out of her. Her first Bellator fight was a one-sided destruction of their featherweight champion, and she's defended it three times since. At this point in Cyborg's career the problem isn't her or her fighting or her age, but simply that there's no one in Bellator for her to fight--she faces luminaries like the 13-7 Arlene Blencowe, or the 7-4 Sinead Kavanaugh, or the 12-8-1 Leslie Smith, who's fought as low as flyweight. She seems to be content to do so until she decides she's done, and at this point, that's an extremely smart career move. Bellator Women's Flyweight Champion, 125 lbs  Juliana Velasquez - 12-0, 1 DefenseJuliana Velasquez's MMA career started because Shooto Brazil tried to promote an intergender fight between her and an 0-1 male fighter and upon receiving a firestorm of criticism for the publicity stunt instead announced that the fight was never real and was a publicity stunt to raise awareness about domestic violence and you are actually the real assholes. How that was ever supposed to actually work was never quite figured out, and it's that sort of confused indifference that has come to sum up Velasquez's Bellator run. On paper, she's very impressive: 12-0, childhood judoka, regional champion. In practice, she's surprisingly hard to get into. She's a very solid, well-rounded fighter, but she has the kind of style that leaves you waiting for her to start fighting; the kind of style where the official Bellator highlight reel of the apex of her career, her world championship victory, includes things like "here is where she took two steps backward" and "here is where she got underhooks in the clinch." She's likely to meet former UFC titlist Liz Carmouche sometime this year and hopefully that'll give them both a chance to shine. Bellator Women's Strawweight Champion, 115 lbs   Rizin Lightweight Champion, 156 lbs  Roberto de Souza - 13-1, 1 DefenseRoberto Satoshi de Souza is one of the last notable foreign talents Rizin has left, which is kind of hilarious, because he's been living in Japan for more than a decade. The entire de Souza family works together in one giant jiu-jitsu business, most famously running Bonsai Jiu-Jitsu out of Shizuoka, which is how Rizin found him. Roberto justified the investment by steamrolling basically everyone in front of him: In 3 years he's 6-1 in Rizin, with every fight ending in a stoppage no later than the second round. (The single loss was a one-minute TKO loss to former UFC competitor Johnny Case, who was going to start fighting for the PFL last year before he got arrested.) Grappling is the core of his game, but he is not above punching a motherfucker out. Rizin appreciates him and his knowledge of the culture and his fighting style, and would also respectfully like him to lose the title to a more marketable Japanese fighter, which is why they have booked him against popular lightweight Yusuke Yachi twice. This has resulted in his getting punched stupid once and triangle armbarred once. When they book a third match for next year's NYE event and Satoshi completes the hat trick by soccer kicking him to death he gets a free body pillow. Rizin Featherweight Champion, 145 lbs   Juntaro Ushiku - 21-8-1, 0 DefensesJapan has always had an extremely strong regional MMA scene, and occasionally top competitors somewhat abruptly pop out of it. The Fighting Bull Juntaro Ushiku is the latest, and one Rizin didn't quite seem to expect. One of Rizin's primary stories has been its love of the Asakura brothers, Kai and Mikuru, both of whom have made big impacts and gotten some perhaps occasionally favorable matchmaking to speed along their route to Japanese stardom. It was somewhat counter to Rizin's plans when Mikuru got outfought and controlled by a lesser-known wrestler in Yutaka Saito, and even moreso when Saito promptly got his face kneed off by Ushiku, the featherweight champion of DEEP. Ushiku did, in fact, immediately return to DEEP two months later. He's a scrappy fighter--well-rounded, no enormous standout skills, lots of split decisions, very difficult to finish--and you can basically bet the farm that the next time you see him, it will be because Rizin has booked him to defend the title against Mikuru Asakura again in the hopes their star wins it back. Rizin Bantamweight Champion, 135 lbs  Kyoji Horiguchi - 29-4, 0 DefensesUntil one month ago, Kyoji Horiguchi was the fighter the entire world most wanted back in the UFC. An extremely impressive wrestle-boxer who went 7-1 in the UFC, with the 1 being good ol' Demetrious Johnson, he was released despite 3 straight victories when Dana White had his snit with the champ and decided to pull the very sensible power move of attempting to close the entire flyweight division, because he is the best promoter in the world. Horiguchi left for the still-nascent Rizin Fighting Federation and immediately became one of its biggest stars, taking their inaugural bantamweight grand prix with ease and winning its first-ever bantamweight championship, which he followed up on by cross-promoting with Bellator and winning THEIR bantamweight championship. Unfortunately, he was also a physical wreck after fighting nine times in just two years and badly needed surgery, but Rizin pressured him to fight their young new star Kai Asakura before he went under the knife--which saw a clearly compromised Horiguchi get knocked out in one minute. 16 months of recovery later, a healthy Horiguchi returned on the 2020 new year's supershow and destroyed Asakura in two minutes in a rematch and vowed to regain his Bellator title, too. He was close, and had dominated three and a half rounds against Sergio Pettis--and then he ducked into a spinning backfist that knocked him out cold. Kyoji is back to the drawing board, now, but he remains one of the most thoroughly sound fighters in the world and one of Rizin's most important players. Whether he continues to try for international expansion is anyone's guess. Rizin Women's Super Atomweight Championship, 108 lbs  Ayaka Hamsaki - 23-4, 1 DefenseAyaka Hamasaki is an underrated all-timer in women's mixed martial arts. She's been a standout at the lower weight classes since long before they even existed in mainstream mixed martial arts, winning her first 115-pound championship in 2010 just a year after her professional debut, she's competed in multiple countries, including a two-year reign as the atomweight champion of Invicta FC, and her extremely smart, technical grappling style has seen her outgrapple and submit some of the most notable women's fighters in the world, including Rizin star Kanna Asakura, leading to her greatest career achievement as Rizin's inaugural super atomweight champion. The problem is: She really shouldn't still have the belt. One year and two fights after her win, on the 2019 New Year's Eve supercard, she was narrowly unseated by Seo Hee Ham, the best women's fighter in Korean history, who after ten months of failed negotiations with Rizin on her return gave up the belt and signed with ONE instead, leading Hamasaki to once again have a title fight on NYE 2020 where she regained the vacated belt. Unfortunately, once again, one year and two fights later, on the 2021 NYE supercard, she met 24 year-old, 4-0 grappling phenom Seika Izawa and got completely loving worked, dominated like she hadn't been in years and ultimately TKOed in the second round...in a non-title fight, because that's how Japan rolls. So now Izawa has to wait for a rematch, this time ostensibly for the title, and Hamasaki has to continue to represent herself as Rizin's best atomweight despite having just been trounced.
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Feb 1, 2022 16:55
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A dream match so dreamlike that no one's ever even dared dream of it before has been scheduled for May: https://twitter.com/FrontkickOnline/status/1488499845983834113
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Feb 1, 2022 17:06
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Skjorte posted:A dream match so dreamlike that no one's ever even dared dream of it before has been scheduled for May: This but unironically
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Feb 1, 2022 17:17
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hellow new thread
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Feb 1, 2022 17:28
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56k modem beware of thread
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Feb 1, 2022 17:59
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a lot of good punchfaces in the op
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Feb 1, 2022 18:26
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Skjorte posted:A dream match so dreamlike that no one's ever even dared dream of it before has been scheduled for May: Had to double check that this was in the UFC lol
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Feb 1, 2022 19:04
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CarlCX posted:Look at you, you found the experiment! First person to quote this in the thread gets something stupid from Steam. Lol literally only read the Bellator section and found this as a result
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Feb 1, 2022 19:12
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CarlCX posted:Look at you, you found the experiment! First person to quote this in the thread gets something stupid from Steam. Look at me, hanging on to every word of the wall OP. I don't want anything from Steam. Just want to bask in the glory of the MMA-thread. Back to lurking EDIT: God drat it! While I was editing this ^^ Mr Wunderbaum fucked around with this message at 19:16 on Feb 1, 2022 |
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Feb 1, 2022 19:13
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Man, I am absolutely not going to deny you for <60 seconds on the internet, so if you change your mind lemme know.
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Feb 1, 2022 20:04
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CarlCX posted:Man, I am absolutely not going to deny you for <60 seconds on the internet, so if you change your mind lemme know. Nah, I'm good. Thanks, tho I might join in the discussion from time to time, by asking stupid questions that might seem obvious to you guys.
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Feb 1, 2022 20:15
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Amusing that his cross would normally be way off target but managed to nail the dropping fighter on the chin.
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Feb 1, 2022 20:26
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Mr Wunderbaum posted:Nah, I'm good. Thanks, tho stupid questions get the most attention 
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Feb 1, 2022 20:29
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kimbo305 posted:Amusing that his cross would normally be way off target but managed to nail the dropping fighter on the chin. lol yeah he was like going for a bread basket bodyshot and the guy's chin just fell onto his fist
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Feb 1, 2022 20:31
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leftist heap posted:Had to double check that this was in the UFC lol lol same Mr Wunderbaum posted:Nah, I'm good. Thanks, tho The stupider the better, we don't often get to hold forth to someone new here.
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Feb 1, 2022 20:48
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Ok, I’ve been lurking for a long time, and I’m fascinated by the concensus here as to the stuff not directoy related to fighting. Like who’s a dumbass and who’s an rear end in a top hat etc. Most of these I get. Like I love the barely concealed hatred between Dom Cruz and Bisbing while commenting. But what makes Cody Garbrand so exceedingly stupid in your eyes? Is it the fact that he seems to lose his cool while fighting, or is there something else I’m missing?
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Feb 1, 2022 21:06
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https://twitter.com/dovysimumma/status/1132621958619836416?s=21 he gives really bad pressers and just seems dumb as hell. which made the fight between him and cruz all the more wonderful. it’s like the perfect example of the difference between fight IQ and actual IQ.
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Feb 1, 2022 21:13
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I don't like to play armchair psychologist overanalyzing every word for Freudian slips, but Garbrandt does them so frequently and for so long that it's kind of hard not to think he's in Gay Denial, especially with his literal Alpha Male personality. Truly one of the more fascinating figures of modern MMA, imho. He's like the most extreme personality traits of Tobias Funke and Mac from Always Sunny, rolled into one package.
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Feb 1, 2022 21:20
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Remember when he became champion and went out and bought a bunch of fur coats
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Feb 1, 2022 21:22
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Trillhouse posted:https://twitter.com/dovysimumma/status/1132621958619836416?s=21 Immediately following that fight, Garbrandt got knocked out three times in a row doing pretty much the exact same poo poo, so I am not sure he is a shining example of fight IQ either.
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Feb 1, 2022 21:27
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he just seems really dopey. look to any time he's trash talking basically, he never comes off as sharp at all he put on a master class against dom cruz and then completely fell apart as a fighter, which is a shame. i really thought he would be a world beater (note that i also thought this about weidman, rockhold, and a bunch of other fighters who look awesome for a while and then fall off hard)
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Feb 1, 2022 21:30
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Bluedeanie posted:Immediately following that fight, Garbrandt got knocked out three times in a row doing pretty much the exact same poo poo, so I am not sure he is a shining example of fight IQ either. yeah, he'd get in trouble and respond by standing still and throwing a hook over and over lol he was basically created to fight dom cruz to one great victory
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Feb 1, 2022 21:31
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In their one mma article every 8 months, the Onion wrote an article where Cody Garbrandt's mom fondly recalled a 6 year old Cody beating the poo poo out of pals Cody responded by yelling that the picture of the woman in the article was not his mother.
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Feb 1, 2022 21:48
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The Automator posted:yeah, he'd get in trouble and respond by standing still and throwing a hook over and over lol it was a really great whoopin he put on cruz for sure LobsterMobster posted:In their one mma article every 8 months, the Onion wrote an article where Cody Garbrandt's mom fondly recalled a 6 year old Cody beating the poo poo out of pals that's incredible
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Feb 1, 2022 21:55
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About the time he rose to prominence there were a fair few articles written about his early introductions to training and his training style which amounted to getting into absolutely wild brawls in sparring and unless you're one of like 5 brazilians that's not good for your career longevity and then he started sleeping frequently in competition. For all his faults Cody doesn't sound like he had the best upbringing or introduction to combat sports so for some things you can kind of let them pass. Other things less so, but he's given us some good entertainment.
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Feb 1, 2022 22:01
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CarlCX posted:Relive the heavyweight madness of January here. 
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Feb 1, 2022 22:01
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sorry to bring down the mood, but phil hawes is out of the alvey fight hopefully ufc can wrangle up some type of homunculus so that smile and sam can still fight
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Feb 1, 2022 22:04
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When Cody won the belt, he had a kid with leuchemia joining him on stage. I thought that was kinda nice, or was just that cynical plot to make him go over better? And what about Henry Cejudo? What makes you roll your eyes about him?
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Feb 1, 2022 22:05
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I have no problems with Cody hanging out with the little Make-a-Wish kid. Henry Cejudo is an uncharismatic dork who is a pretty good fighter but won the belt via a gift decision over the true flyweight GOAT, who had injured his leg very early in the fight and still managed to outpoint Cejudo in most fans' and media outlets' opinions. But Cejudo has gone on to do well since and Mighty Mouse left because he discovered the literal yakuza pay fighters better and generally treat them better than Dana White, so 
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Feb 1, 2022 22:11
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i think cody's cancer kid was a genuine act of kindness and compassion cody still real dumb, tho for me, cejudo is a weird lil gremlin man that: 1. stole the belt from My Main Man Demetrius Mighty Mouse Johnson 2. legitimately beat up My Main Man Marlon Magic Moraes so im sour on him
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Feb 1, 2022 22:12
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Cody's relationship with the kid wasn't a cynical plot. For one, Cody clearly isn't capable of that kind of forethought. Seriously though, as far as I recall, Cody was touched by the kid's story and kept in touch with him for years before making good on his promise of walking out for his title fight alongside him or whatever it was. It's a sweet story and the kid seemed comfortable around Garbrandt. Garbrandt is clearly not a smart dude, though, and also he has some sort of dog kennel thingy where they crop pitbulls' ears to make them look cool, which seems like a not great thing to be doing. Cejudo's gimmick is literally about trying to make people roll their eyes at him. He's probably plenty awkward without leaning into it, but he's practically been a cartoon character for the last couple of years. Very good fighter, though.
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Feb 1, 2022 22:14
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Yeah, like, as far as I know Cody Garbrandt isn't a particular shithead or anything and he seemed to very much care about that kid, by the standards of MMA fighters he seems like a nice dude. It's just the combination of his penchant for unintentionally suggestive meathead comments and his extremely precipitous drop from being on top of the world to getting knocked out with the same type of attack over and over. It's kind of cemented him with this particular persona of being a dumbass.
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Feb 1, 2022 22:39
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LobsterMobster posted:sorry to bring down the mood, but phil hawes is out of the alvey fight They did! Rejoice and be glad! https://twitter.com/BigMarcel24/status/1488616977593737221
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Feb 1, 2022 22:46
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Cancer kid is Cody's friend's brother and before Cody was even in the UFC he made a deal with cancer kid that cancer kid wasn't allowed to give up on his treatments until he was better and Cody wasn't allowed to quit fighting until he was champion. Cancer kid made it to several of Cody's UFC fights before he became champ, and was there with him when he won the belt - cancer free. It was genuinely one of the nicest and sweetest things in all of MMA history. It doesn't get talked about more because it was rejected as a Hallmark movie for being too sappy and melodramatic (probably).
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Feb 1, 2022 22:49
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Yeah, Cody may be dumb as hell, but I always kinda liked him. It's hard not to find that level of earnestness endearing, and he does seem like an overall good person, which isn't true of most MMA fighters. This amazing TUF moment kind of sums it up, the tension is rising as Conor poo poo talks, then the Nordic dude accidentally says something amazingly hilarious which immediately breaks the tension. Everyone is laughing and all is forgotten, except Cody is still so, so loving mad and focused. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJpdwjYPbdU&ab_channel=OscarGT
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Feb 1, 2022 23:03
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Cody is one of those odd case fighters where if you dislike him it's not for anything objectively heinous/evil like other fighters u hate
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Feb 1, 2022 23:05
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Colby/Masvidal is also now official and it's also apparently a streaking contest https://twitter.com/MMAFighting/status/1481018450470481924
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Feb 1, 2022 23:06
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