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What is EVE Online? Variously described as “Spreadsheets in space”, “A worst-in-class PvE experience”, “Sociopaths Online”, and “The game for the Nerds who are to Nerds what Nerds are to Normal People”; EVE Online is a nineteen year old sci-fi sandbox MMO published by vikings from an island that smells, by all accounts, of farts and rotting fish. Despite their best efforts to the contrary and their well-earned forum emote ( ), Eve continues to be one of the most compelling experiences in MMO gameplay. Eve is unique in its single-sharded world. In other MMOs, servers are sharded to help balance load and otherwise scale the game. Eve takes place on a single server (unless you live in China.) Because of this, every mistake you make and every enemy you make are there to haunt you forever. Friendships and rivalries in Eve do not disappear, making things like “politics” and “diplomacy” actually matter. That game takes place in a fully realised sci-fi universe, consisting of thousands of solar systems, interlinked by a web of interstellar jump-gates and divided into multiple zones:
This cycle of creative-destruction, and the ability to trade game time purchased for real money as an in-game commodity, creates a vibrant and meaningful sense of consequence and value. Here's a recent trailer showing an FC that bears a striking resemblence to Asher Elias and some decently accurate depictions of modern eve fights (and good music). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78mIgZDJZew Why should I play EVE Online? Peeps, I ask this question to myself every day. I've played eve since 2007, been in Goonswarm/Goonswarm Federation since 2010, been in charge of alliance reimbursement since 2011, and been continuously subscribed the entire time. Why? Why the hell am I putting myself in constant contact with lazy bums who can't be bothered to read a simple set of rules, log into jabber, or otherwise somehow expect their entire gaming experience to be curated and catered to their every whim? I think it's because in addition to the beauty of the game (recently updated with new textures, graphics, and dx12), it's depth, the single sharded aspect, and the deeply social aspects. It’s rewarding in the depth and complexity of its mechanics; the breadth of experiences (some intended by the developers, many not), and the single-sharded aspect means that your decisions and choices matter. Develop a reputation for dumpstering the alliance's wealth, and never live it down. It’s the only game where War-Leader, Diplomat, Industrial Monopolist, Combat Photographer, Scam Artist, Day Trader, Messianic Cult Figure, Long-Haul trucker, Provocateur, Propagandist, and Spy are roles fully fleshed out and engaged in meaningful competition. Mastery of a role takes curiosity, skill, and dedication. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdfFnTt2UT0 At its core, what really makes EVE is that it is a deeply social experience. Reliable friends and knowledgeable mentors make the most daunting challenges manageable. Jealousy, greed, and bitter rivalries create struggle and competition more meaningful than any game designer can script. The ever evolving tapestry of nebulous trust, rank betrayals, and alliances of convenience is one of the richest histories and mythologies in videogames. This is one of the few games that I regularly log into jabber and mumble to hang out with people just because they are my people, not because I plan to actually do anything in the game. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDVEHE10nHc Let's see, what's been added to Eve since the last time you may have played:
MOD EDIT : As of Mid-July 2022, Goonswarm Federation is no longer affiliated with Something Awful. The below is kept for historical purposes, and should be seen in no way as an endorsement of Goonswarm, Goonwaffe, etc. If you're looking for a group to join, I'd check out the second post in this thread. Yeah, I can't really recommend any particular group in Eve right now. The up-to-a-few-days-ago defacto SA organization, Goonswarm Federation, is undergoing some things right now as they grapple with what kind of organization they want to be as it pertains to harassment of minority groups. Those reforms are in draft and have yet to be published. Organizational leadership shuffles are in flux and who knows what the result will be. As new organizations are created and other organizations are reformed, I'll adjust here in consultation with the moderators and some others. For now, I just recommend sitting back and reading a thread that went from something like 8 pages to 96 in 4 days. Goonswarm Federation: GoonWaffe What is GoonWaffe? lol, and dare I say it, lmao. I'm not going to whisper sweet nothings into your ear while fingering your butthole like Querns did. Goonwaffe is a shell of a corporation that serves as the defacto holding corporation for the entire alliance. Goon logistics, ship replacement, industry, and fleet command hangers run through this corp. Anyone who is anyone space important in the alliance no matter what corporation they originally came from probably has an alt in Goonwaffe to be able to do their space job. There is no formal "corporate" leadership, no mentorship program, and nobody there to hold your hand at the corporate level. That's not to say there are not distinct advantages such as:
If you want Goonwaffe to work for you, you need to join an alliance SIG (special interest group) or Social group. Or be a solitary bushido warrior like this guy: Some of the currently active groups:
Is There Some Sort Of Manual? The Goonwiki is one of the most complete guides to EVE online. GoonWaffe FAQ: IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT ANYTHING NOT COVERED HERE EMAIL newbies@goonfleet.com What are the requirements to join GoonWaffe?
Go read this helpful wiki entry, and it will guide you through the steps to join! Are you Vacationed and want to come back to GoonWaffe?? (This means your forum group says Vacationer or Member on GF.com) https://wiki.goonfleet.com/Joining_GoonWaffe_101 can also help you! Follow the steps for Process B or C, whichever applies to you. Against All The Odds I'm In Now What? Yet again, there is a wiki page full of helpful advice. Key amongst these is to follow the advice on how to crack Eve's unwillingness to let you talk to others and open the GS_Help channel. What's Eve 2022 like? If you aren't aware we pretty much won a giant war of attrition lasting over a year against 3/4 of the rest of eve. We unjustifiably found ourselves in a position we'd rather not be in... but... you know... We got out of that war with a massive numbers advantage in supercarriers and titans, and we've been using that edge to wave some BDE at anyone that thinks to come in range of our tantrum radius. This is because Eve "promoted" the dipshit that drove Dust 514 into the ground as the Eve product manager, and he's uniquely unsuited for the position. As a result, nobody is currently building supercarriers and titans, so our numbers advantage remains just that for the immediate and near future. One of CCP's more boneheaded decisions was to inject PI into the building of battleships, supercarriers and titans. "Wyverns made of water" while a funny meme, has more than a drop or two of truth to it. So we spent the first few quarters of the year cleaning out the trash in the closest southeast regions of the map. I think we burned down everything in like 3 or 4 regions. Right as that was wrapping up, PAPI made the mistake of poking one of our allies, so we've tantrum deployed the entire Imperium on top of FI.RE coalition and are purging them from the map. PAPI promptly and unironically declared all of FI.RE coalition to be a floodplain and have been "vigorously advancing to the rear." So technically we are at war... in much the same way that one could compare the extinction of the dodo to a war. Somebody fucked around with this message at 15:07 on Jul 18, 2022 |
# ? Jul 1, 2022 03:00 |
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# ? Jun 10, 2024 10:29 |
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corgski posted:Listen, if goons want to play EvE with goons in a culture where "not being a poo poo" is the highest priority, I've been offered the "Goosefleet" corporation. I haven't taken it because A) I'd need to sub again and B) I don't really want to herd goons any more than I already do, but if people are interested I will literally be the absentee CEO of a goon lowsec/wh corp in the same way that Astryl was with the Echoes Goosefleet. Johnny Five-Jaces posted:hello fellow gon, i have seen a few folks asking about groups in eve that are not stuffed to the gills with poo poo heads. to that end i will do my best to lay out some options for folks that want to play eve online but don't want to deal with capital 'g' Gamers: Somebody fucked around with this message at 15:09 on Jul 18, 2022 |
# ? Jul 1, 2022 03:03 |
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first post edit : Eve is a horrible game and the leadership of the GSF is built on lies. ded fucked around with this message at 18:56 on Jul 13, 2022 |
# ? Jul 1, 2022 03:06 |
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Seems like a lot of wasted effort for nothing.
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# ? Jul 1, 2022 03:11 |
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when is eve 2 coming out
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# ? Jul 1, 2022 03:12 |
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[img-timeline]
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# ? Jul 1, 2022 03:12 |
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fuckin love to see it gently caress the mittani gently caress xenuria gently caress the illum shitheads that defend pedophiles and practice rampant transphobia and misogyny throughout goonswarm in 2022, go play foxhole instead Kazinsal fucked around with this message at 00:21 on Jul 15, 2022 |
# ? Jul 1, 2022 03:23 |
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There are no goons
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# ? Jul 1, 2022 03:23 |
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this game sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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# ? Jul 1, 2022 03:24 |
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War post, revelation is best ship
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# ? Jul 1, 2022 03:27 |
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Mittani steps down, claiming he's really the victim in all of this. Zerg Mans posted:good lord that resignation statement is almost exactly what Lowtax wrote lmao The Shortest Path posted:If you think that's bad, a log just got posted of someone confessing to murder and illegally entering Iran to extirpate someone. Potato Salad fucked around with this message at 04:30 on Jul 17, 2022 |
# ? Jul 1, 2022 03:30 |
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# ? Jul 1, 2022 03:30 |
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I don't even play this loving game anymore but im here on page one
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# ? Jul 1, 2022 03:34 |
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PathAsc posted:War post, revelation is best ship I need like 6 billion isk to buy a revelation.
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# ? Jul 1, 2022 03:39 |
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orange juche posted:I don't even play this loving game anymore but im here on page one Same.
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# ? Jul 1, 2022 03:41 |
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GOONS GO TO WAR PLACE RIP
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# ? Jul 1, 2022 03:48 |
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ground floor for what looks like is going to be an amazing game
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# ? Jul 1, 2022 03:49 |
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Awww new thread smell
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# ? Jul 1, 2022 03:51 |
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I want the dipshit who was whining about Goons not committing coalition assets to Pochven to come back. Sadly I don't think he will.
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# ? Jul 1, 2022 04:00 |
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If Goons are the cream of the crop, who is Ms. Elizabeth?
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# ? Jul 1, 2022 04:06 |
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Potato Salad posted:I’m gay.
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# ? Jul 1, 2022 04:09 |
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loving goons
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# ? Jul 1, 2022 04:17 |
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Optical Ilyushin posted:There are no goons
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# ? Jul 1, 2022 04:22 |
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Amok is recruiting. https://discord.com/invite/Zfy2TwxC Feliday Melody fucked around with this message at 20:53 on Jul 1, 2022 |
# ? Jul 1, 2022 04:24 |
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bVuMikIe4s This is my favorite Eve trailer. It's also surprisingly not the one my character was in.
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# ? Jul 1, 2022 04:34 |
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PathAsc posted:War post, revelation is best ship You might've been right before but Phoenix-Senpai is new bae
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# ? Jul 1, 2022 04:36 |
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I agree with you both, the Naglfar IS the best ship by a huge margin
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# ? Jul 1, 2022 04:42 |
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andromache posted:Narrator's voice: It isn't. Look, in my real life job, I bleed IT Azure DevOps. I get hard thinking about CI/CD pipelines. Hey, this will be my job soon too. They're moving all our poo poo at work to Azure, because as far as I can tell this company exists to shovel as much money into Microsoft's hunger face port as possible.
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# ? Jul 1, 2022 04:54 |
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In before the truely horrible opinions come out.
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# ? Jul 1, 2022 04:55 |
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# ? Jul 1, 2022 04:56 |
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Raged posted:In before the truely horrible opinions come out. But enough about your posts
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# ? Jul 1, 2022 04:57 |
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NtotheTC posted:I agree with you both, the Naglfar IS the best ship by a huge margin Vertical supremacy All day All night
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# ? Jul 1, 2022 04:57 |
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Don't join GoonSwarm its leadership are corrupt and abusive
Kesper North fucked around with this message at 23:25 on Jul 14, 2022 |
# ? Jul 1, 2022 04:57 |
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andromache posted:Delta Squad smh
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# ? Jul 1, 2022 05:30 |
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NtotheTC posted:I agree with you both, the Naglfar IS the best ship by a huge margin Naglfar is so 2021. All da cool kids fly Zirns now
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# ? Jul 1, 2022 05:53 |
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Groundfloor. https://groomswarm.wtf/ CainFortea fucked around with this message at 22:32 on Jul 14, 2022 |
# ? Jul 1, 2022 06:24 |
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Raged posted:In before the truely horrible opinions come out. mlyp good OP from atrum tho, ngl
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# ? Jul 1, 2022 06:24 |
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Where'r the monthly participation metrics?
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# ? Jul 1, 2022 06:25 |
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New thread, here have some old propaganda!
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# ? Jul 1, 2022 07:18 |
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# ? Jun 10, 2024 10:29 |
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predictably, r/eve is slowly filling with pubbie tears about how we're not "fighting fair" and are "dirty blobbers" this of course ignores the 1.8:1 to 3:1 numbers advantage that the enemy coalition, made of literally every drooling mouthbreather in null outside of goons, which failed and faltered at the gates of ~~Helms Deep~~ 1DQ1-A.
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# ? Jul 1, 2022 07:42 |