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If Pixar set out to make a movie more pointless than Planes, it succeeded. I thought it was impossible for a movie to matter less than the Warcraft movie but here we are. Lightyear may be the single least important cultural event of the 21st century. The movie is so mediocre it's infuriating. The movie starts off by framing itself as the movie the Buzz Lightyear toy from Toy Story was based on, including explicitly stating that the movie came out in 1995. The movie then proceeds to be nothing like anything that was or could have been released in 1995. You want to know what would have been a good movie to make? A Pixar movie that tried to replicate with CGI what a sci-fi movie that came out in the 90's might have looked like. That would have been an interesting, even daring film concept. That would have been an artistic undertaking worthy of Pixar. This movie doesn't even attempt to place itself in the future of the 90s. Okay, whatever, at least it's a good movie, right? No. It's boring, safe, textureless schlock. Even the much-touted "controversial" same sex kiss was just a tepid, barely-there lesbian relationship that the movie swept past before it could even register. You want to know what would have been a controversial same sex kiss? Fuckin' make Buzz gay. Have Buzz kiss a man on the lips and call him "sweetie" before going off on his mission. That would have been controversial. Maybe I'm too hung up on what might have been, but this movie couldn't even hold my kids' attention and they'll watch anything with spaceships in it. The movie wasn't even a passable pastiche of science fiction tropes. There were some Star Wars sound effects and the opening riffs on Alien for about 5 seconds but not enough of anything anywhere to even get a good nostalgia going. I'd get into nitpicking the nonsensical plot (where was the rest of the human race during this 100 year interval? If the team goes to the Gamma quadrant won't they run into exactly the same time dilation problem that's been the sticking point the whole movie?) but frankly it doesn't even really matter. I have no idea who this movie is even for. It's too bland even for children, and not nostalgic enough for the adults that would have been children when the original Toy Story came out. 0/10 stars. Go rewatch Turning Red instead. poo poo, go watch Planes for the first time instead.
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 03:00 |
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# ? Jun 10, 2024 10:41 |
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why do you watch these movies applewhite
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 03:02 |
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I bet no one expected them to (this is definely a real and MAJOR spoiler, I'm not kidding) make buzz the villian and kill him I sure didn't
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 03:05 |
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kntfkr posted:why do you watch these movies applewhite Well in this case because I still have my brother's borrowed Disney+ account so it was free and I wanted to see the same sex kiss everyone was raving about.
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 03:05 |
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The Bloop posted:I bet no one expected them to (this is definely a real and MAJOR spoiler, I'm not kidding) make buzz the villian and kill him My wife points out that it's the exact same plot twist as The Lego Movie 2 but not as poignant or even as well-executed.
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 03:06 |
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Sox is on the list of best robot sidekick of all time along with R2D2 and TARS/CASE
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 03:06 |
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ah ok
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 03:07 |
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Sox is worthy of a better film for sure. I liked Sox, he was the highlight of the movie, but that's such a low bar to clear.
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 03:09 |
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Disney/Pixar love putting bullshit villain reveals in their movies, and they're always worse off for them. In Frozen it was the goofy dad of the ginger guy, in Wreck it Ralph it was the mayor, in Zootopia it was the sheep lady. Their best movies don't have true villains at all (Encanto, Luca, Seeing Red, ironically Toy Story).
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 03:12 |
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Lightyear is in the running for out-blanding Raya and the Last Dragon, a movie so utterly pointless and forgettable that my Blu-ray copy (long story short, it was a gift, not my idea) spontaneously stopped existing. Like literally, the disc was on the shelf, and I paid so little thought to it that it actually lost object permanence and is no longer there or anywhere in my home as far as I can tell. I only discovered this because my brother asked to borrow it.
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 03:13 |
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I tried so hard to get into this film and could not. I agree with you OP. I guess I probably shouldn't watch G films unless they're properly vetted, but I expected better from PIXAR.The Bloop posted:Sox is on the list of best robot sidekick of all time along with R2D2 and TARS/CASE Best character in the movie. Applewhite posted:Lightyear is in the running for out-blanding Raya and the Last Dragon,
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 03:15 |
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Devils Affricate posted:Disney/Pixar love putting bullshit villain reveals in their movies, and they're always worse off for them. In Frozen it was the goofy dad of the ginger guy, in Wreck it Ralph it was the mayor, in Zootopia it was the sheep lady. HIGHLY object to counting Encanto among their "best" movies or even their "satisfactory" ones but otherwise agree.
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 03:15 |
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Jelly posted:I tried so hard to get into this film and could not. I agree with you OP. I guess I probably shouldn't watch G films unless they're properly vetted, but I expected better from PIXAR. "I expected better from Pixar" should have been the movie's tagline. Put that poo poo on the poster lol.
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 03:15 |
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Nothing beyond infinity, idiot space dad
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 03:19 |
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just lol if you're still watching movies that play in the same building as twenty concurrent showings of The Avengers
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 03:19 |
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kntfkr posted:why do you watch these movies applewhite So I can make these threads tbh.
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 03:19 |
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Applewhite posted:HIGHLY object to counting Encanto among their "best" movies or even their "satisfactory" ones but otherwise agree. Something bothered you about Encanto? In my opinion it's their #1.
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 03:21 |
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Clever pun op
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 03:23 |
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Applewhite posted:Lightyear is in the running for out-blanding Raya and the Last Dragon, a movie so utterly pointless and forgettable that my Blu-ray copy (long story short, it was a gift, not my idea) spontaneously stopped existing. lmao please bring back Current Releases and write reviews Applewhite, I'll read them
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 03:26 |
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All these movies are fine They're fun escapist entertainment for an hour and a half They're going to make a movie every year and they're not all going to be classics This doesn't mean any of your criticisms are invalid, op. Just that it's ok for movies to not be great and still be fun imo
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 03:30 |
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Sounds like if you'd seen Buzz kiss a dude you would have given this a good review. Now the movie is doomed to obscurity. This is the gay agenda at work, folks.
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 03:31 |
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Absolutely love these posts. Especially since I have never seen the movies.
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 03:32 |
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Devils Affricate posted:Something bothered you about Encanto? In my opinion it's their #1. I like Applewhites threads but I do agree he was off base with Encanto
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 03:32 |
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i accidentky watched it and got turned gay by woke disney
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 03:35 |
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Applewhite posted:So I can make these threads tbh. i like your threads but can't abide disney + as disney enables chris pratt's lavish lifestyle
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 03:41 |
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kntfkr posted:why do you watch these movies applewhite
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 03:44 |
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Lightyear? More like "Light Beer." more like... trite... uh....
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 03:47 |
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The Bloop posted:This doesn't mean any of your criticisms are invalid, op. Just that it's ok for movies to not be great and still be fun imo If the movie were "fun" I would be willing to forgive a lot. Lightyear isn't "fun." It isn't anything.
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 03:53 |
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Devils Affricate posted:Something bothered you about Encanto? In my opinion it's their #1. I thought the music was bad and the plot needlessly overworked with a second act that completely derails the film.
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 03:56 |
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Applewhite posted:I thought the music was bad and the plot needlessly overworked with a second act that completely derails the film. The music thing is subjective so it's probably not worth getting into it, but I think the vast majority of other humans disagree with you on that one. As for the plot, point me to a Pixar film that doesn't drag in the 2nd half and I'll point you to a film that I had no idea was made by Pixar.
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 04:00 |
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Devils Affricate posted:The music thing is subjective so it's probably not worth getting into it, but I think the vast majority of other humans disagree with you on that one. Turning Red.
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 04:05 |
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If anyone wants to see a more worthwhile adaptation of Buzz Lightear's adventures, go find a way to watch the criminally underrated Buzz Lightyear of Star Command animated tv series.
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 04:06 |
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Devils Affricate posted:The music thing is subjective so it's probably not worth getting into it, but I think the vast majority of other humans disagree with you on that one. The Incredibles, Wall-E, Finding Nemo, Ratatouille
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 04:09 |
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Also I didn't say Encanto (which is not, in fact a Pixar production) dragged in the second half, I said the second act (of three) completely derailed the plot with a pointless adventure into a sandcave to recover a macguffin that didn't actually move the plot forward in any way.
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 04:11 |
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Applewhite posted:Turning Red. Eh, I'll have to rewatch it I guess. I honestly can't remember much from the 2nd half other than the finale, which probably means it was starting to get boring to me, but also could just mean I was very drunk (I know for a fact that I was at least somewhat drunk). I will say this one stuck out to me as an oddball for Disney, as they seemed to trust this director enough to just hand her the keys, rather than insisting she follow the typical format.
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 04:16 |
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Applewhite posted:Also I didn't say Encanto (which is not, in fact a Pixar production) dragged in the second half, I said the second act (of three) completely derailed the plot with a pointless adventure into a sandcave to recover a macguffin that didn't actually move the plot forward in any way. Oh, yeah that section was useless. Misunderstood what you meant I guess.
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 04:17 |
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Applewhite posted:If Pixar set out to make a movie more pointless than Planes, it succeeded. Holy gently caress I read like half of this by accident.
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 04:26 |
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Devils Affricate posted:Oh, yeah that section was useless. Misunderstood what you meant I guess. The whole movie is a disjointed morass of frayed plotlines that end just as they might have become interesting, a Lin Manuel Miranda song incarnate. Anyway I'm not going to re-litigate Encanto. The movie isn't completely without its good points, but taken as a whole, I consider it a failure, both musically and narratively. I think if the Latino community is looking for representation in modern family animation, they're much better off pinning their hopes on Jorge R. Gutierrez.
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 04:29 |
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Jelly posted:I liked Raya Just watch the supercut of the dragon bits and you've enjoyed everything the film has to offer, IMO.
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 04:50 |
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# ? Jun 10, 2024 10:41 |
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtyhCX7bHaA here I just saved anyone who was thinking of watching Raya 87 minutes.
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# ? Aug 10, 2022 04:52 |