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I go to my local chinese food place about 2-3 times a week, I'm pretty good friends with the owner. Yesterday I went in for lunch and the owner was acting really weird and standoffish while usually we're on pretty good terms. I asked him what was wrong and eventually he told me to "leave and never come back". I pushed him a little more while I was waiting for my order because he seemed nervous or guilty and he told me that the Chinese mafia in the area have been putting the squeeze or w/e on local businesses and to intimidate them they left a cake outside the shop overnight. Inside the cake was a scroll with a list of all the store's most frequent customers' full names and addresses, and I was near the top of the list. I am seriously freaking the gently caress out right now and I have no idea what to even do or what my recourse is. I'm a non-violent person and I've never owned any guns but I'm really close to picking up a rifle at Wal-Mart and taking vacation time from work to lay low for a few weeks. Should I go to the police? What could they even do? I'm loving terrified.
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Dec 23, 2016 04:57
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| # ? May 26, 2024 18:48 |
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Personally, I'd get the hunan chicken.
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Dec 23, 2016 05:00
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How do you know the cake was meant to intimidate? Maybe they were just congratulating them on their success and wanted them to share the cake with you.
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Dec 23, 2016 05:01
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I had some general tsos today, so I'm totally on the same wave length
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Dec 23, 2016 05:02
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Make a thread when you've made a greatest hits list.
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Dec 23, 2016 05:03
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Sleep with the head of the Chinese mafia's girlfriend.
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Dec 23, 2016 05:04
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Alternatively, just sleep with the head of the Chinese mafia.
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Dec 23, 2016 05:05
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contact the Yakuza and start a gang war take control of the survivors and build your empire
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Dec 23, 2016 05:07
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6H0BD2eWIww&t=63s
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Dec 23, 2016 05:07
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this is the owner's polite way of telling you to please make healthier food choices he appreciates your constant business but at this point he's feeling less like a restaurateur and more like someone providing assisted suicide
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Dec 23, 2016 05:09
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Better call Pei Mei.
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Dec 23, 2016 05:12
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Kill every Asian you see
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Dec 23, 2016 05:12
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Start by eating small amounts of lead now, you know, to build up tolerance for larger amounts to come soon
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Dec 23, 2016 05:12
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Ancient Chinese secret to get rid of smelly customers.
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Dec 23, 2016 05:14
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local chinese food put me on the poo poo list
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Dec 23, 2016 05:15
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R-Type posted:Start by eating small amounts of lead now, you know, to build up tolerance for larger amounts to come soon lol
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Dec 23, 2016 05:15
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Loden Taylor posted:this is the owner's polite way of telling you to please make healthier food choices yeah i think he was just calling you fat op
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Dec 23, 2016 05:15
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a bone to pick posted:Ancient Chinese secret to get rid of smelly customers.
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Dec 23, 2016 05:18
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I am trurey sorry for your rots (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Dec 23, 2016 05:19
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tell him to pay his protection money
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Dec 23, 2016 05:20
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R-Type posted:Start by eating small amounts of lead now, you know, to build up tolerance for larger amounts to come soon is no use, he's up against the Chinese mafia. they are already immune from a life in china
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Dec 23, 2016 05:20
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Why would they know your name and address though OP? Something smells fishy here, and it's not just the Sushi
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Dec 23, 2016 05:21
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If the chinese mafia was trying to squeeze them for money wouldn't they want the restaurants best customers to keep going there so they make more money for them to extort? where do you live op
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Dec 23, 2016 05:21
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Ein cooler Typ posted:I go to my local chinese food place about 2-3 times a week, I'm pretty good friends with the owner. Yesterday I went in for lunch and the owner was acting really weird and standoffish while usually we're on pretty good terms. I asked him what was wrong and eventually he told me to "leave and never come back". I pushed him a little more while I was waiting for my order because he seemed nervous or guilty and he told me that the Chinese mafia in the area have been putting the squeeze or w/e on local businesses and to intimidate them they left a cake outside the shop overnight. Inside the cake was a scroll with a list of all the store's most frequent customers' full names and addresses, and I was near the top of the list. i can teach you karate op. you have to pay me your life savings
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Dec 23, 2016 05:23
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Op here are some ancient Chinese proverbs. They may help yo in your time of need https://www.sonoma.edu/users/d/daniels/chinaproverbs.html
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Dec 23, 2016 05:23
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What kind of cake was it?
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Dec 23, 2016 05:24
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if it was a real threat it would have been a bell - source kung fu hustle
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Dec 23, 2016 05:24
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I'd say run away, but good lord you must be fat
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Dec 23, 2016 05:29
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Just in case they do come after you, leave a pile of doughnut holes on your doorstep. It will surely intimidate them into leaving you alone. Doughnut holes are much more intimidating than a cake.
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Dec 23, 2016 05:32
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op are you sure it's not the restaurant trying to scare you away so you stop eating all their food at the all-you-can-eat buffet?
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Dec 23, 2016 05:33
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Why the gently caress is the Chinese Mafia (TM) present in a place where you can buy a gun from Wal-Mart? This geographic location does not seem to make sense.
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Dec 23, 2016 05:33
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yea i dont know about this story im pretty sure theyre just tired of you
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Dec 23, 2016 05:33
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Let me get this straight. This 'mafia' is trying to collect money from the owner for possibly a loan or something, who knows; so they think their best bet in getting their money is by scaring away the dude's source of income? And from what everybody already knows, a very large source of income. If they want the money from this guy, they're doing it poorly, and if they've already basically given up and decided they're just going to kill this man.... they're doing it poorly.
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Dec 23, 2016 05:34
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do you always order the $5.99 special or something
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Dec 23, 2016 05:34
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Call the Yakuza and tell them theres a rival gang on their terf
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Dec 23, 2016 05:34
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Jesus Christ that's a lot of Chinese food. Maybe they're worried about your health.
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Dec 23, 2016 05:34
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ProfessorMurder posted:Just in case they do come after you, leave a pile of doughnut holes on your doorstep. It will surely intimidate them into leaving you alone. Doughnut holes are much more intimidating than a cake. Leave a pile of fortune cookies with notes inside saying "Trapped in Fortune Cookie Factory...because I'm fat and can't fit through the door" and they'll laugh and not kill you
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Dec 23, 2016 05:35
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Fallows posted:Call the Yakuza and tell them theres a rival gang on their terf someone gimme the yakuza phone number i want to prank them something about pee pee in their cokes
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Dec 23, 2016 05:35
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Ask yourself, what would Jack Bauer do??
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Dec 23, 2016 05:36
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| # ? May 26, 2024 18:48 |
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spend years perfecting your mantis style to defeat their monkey style
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Dec 23, 2016 05:36
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