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One day, when Ben Franklin was a blundering youth, an old Quaker friend took him aside and lashed him with a few stinging truths, something like this: Ben, you are impossible. Your opinions have a slap in them for everyone who differs with you. They have become so offensive that nobody cares for them. Your friends find they enjoy themselves better when you are not around. You know so much that no man can tell you anything. Indeed, no man is going to try, for the effort would lead only to discomfort and hard work. So you are not likely ever to know any more than you do now, which is very little.
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Aug 2, 2017 02:42
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| # ? May 27, 2024 10:47 |
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ban me this instant
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Aug 2, 2017 02:44
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Pick posted:One day, when Ben Franklin was a blundering youth, Ah! But he who knows he knows very little knows everything, op
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Aug 2, 2017 02:45
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ben franklin was all about the booze and the ladies
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Aug 2, 2017 02:46
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Genderfluent posted:Ah! But he who knows he knows very little knows everything, op One of the finest things I know about Ben Franklin is the way he accepted that smarting rebuke. He was big enough and wise enough to realize that it was true, to sense that he was headed for failure and social disaster. So he made a right-about-face. He began immediately to change his insolent, opinionated ways. "I made it a rule," said Franklin, "to forbear all direct contradiction to the sentiment of others, and all positive assertion of my own, I even forbade myself the use of every word or expression in the language that imported a fix'd opinion, such as 'certainly,' 'undoubtedly,' etc., and I adopted, instead of them, 'I conceive,' 'I apprehend, ' or 'I imagine' a thing to be so or so, or 'it so appears to me at present.' When another asserted something that I thought an error, I deny'd myself the pleasure of contradicting him abruptly, and of showing immediately some absurdity in his proposition: and in answering I began by observing that in certain cases or circumstances his opinion would be right, but in the present case there appear' d or seem'd to me some difference, etc. I soon found the advantage of this change in my manner; the conversations I engag'd in went on more pleasantly. The modest way in which I propos'd my opinions procur'd them a readier reception and less contradiction; I had less mortification when I was found to be in the wrong, and I more easily prevaile'd with others to give up their mistakes and join with me when I happened to be in the right. "And this mode, which I at first put on with some violence to natural inclination, became at length so easy, and so habitual to me, that perhaps for these fifty years past no one has ever heard a dogmatical expression escape me. And to this habit (after my character of integrity) I think it principally owing that I had earned so much weight with my fellow citizens when I proposed new institutions, or alterations in the old, and so much influence in public councils when I became a member; for I was but a bad speaker, never eloquent, subject to much hesitation in my choice of words, hardly correct in language, and yet I generally carried my points."
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Aug 2, 2017 02:47
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Pick posted:One day, when Ben Franklin was a blundering youth, Lol whut? 
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Aug 2, 2017 03:05
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He was the greatest President.
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Aug 2, 2017 03:06
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President of pussyville. 
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Aug 2, 2017 03:07
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Skimmed for any mention of his plowing of French whores, left disappointed
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Aug 2, 2017 03:12
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ElectricSheep posted:Skimmed for any mention of his plowing of French whores, left disappointed be the change you wish to see in the world e: obviously i mean you should go band french prostitutes, not write about Ben Franklin doing it. we all know about that already.
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Aug 2, 2017 03:20
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ben franklin should be what every man aspires to be. intelligent, multi-faceted in skill and talent. slaying mad poon on the reg, like, crazy shitloads of it, and also dressing like some kind of clown which i imagine regularly has gravy stains. like thats nuts if u raelly think abou tit
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Aug 2, 2017 03:23
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i will destroy
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Aug 2, 2017 03:24
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GENTLEMEN, I have perused your late mathematical Prize Question, proposed in lieu of one in Natural Philosophy, for the ensuing year, viz. “Une figure quelconque donnee, on demande d’y inscrire le plus grand nombre de fois possible une autre figure plus-petite quelconque, qui est aussi donnee”. I was glad to find by these following Words, “l’Acadeemie a jugee que cette deecouverte, en eetendant les bornes de nos connoissances, ne seroit pas sans UTILITE”, that you esteem Utility an essential Point in your Enquiries, which has not always been the case with all Academies; and I conclude therefore that you have given this Question instead of a philosophical, or as the Learned express it, a physical one, because you could not at the time think of a physical one that promis’d greater_Utility. Permit me then humbly to propose one of that sort for your consideration, and through you, if you approve it, for the serious Enquiry of learned Physicians, Chemists, &c. of this enlightened Age. It is universally well known, That in digesting our common Food, there is created or produced in the Bowels of human Creatures, a great Quantity of Wind. That the permitting this Air to escape and mix with the Atmosphere, is usually offensive to the Company, from the fetid Smell that accompanies it. That all well-bred People therefore, to avoid giving such Offence, forcibly restrain the Efforts of Nature to discharge that Wind. That so retain’d contrary to Nature, it not only gives frequently great present Pain, but occasions future Diseases, such as habitual Cholics, Ruptures, Tympanies, &c. often destructive of the Constitution, & sometimes of Life itself. Were it not for the odiously offensive Smell accompanying such Escapes, polite People would probably be under no more Restraint in discharging such Wind in Company, than they are in spitting, or in blowing their Noses. My Prize Question therefore should be, To discover some Drug wholesome & not disagreable, to be mix’d with our common Food, or Sauces, that shall render the natural Discharges of Wind from our Bodies, not only inoffensive, but agreable as Perfumes. That this is not a chimerical Project, and altogether impossible, may appear from these Considerations. That we already have some Knowledge of Means capable of Varying that Smell. He that dines on stale Flesh, especially with much Addition of Onions, shall be able to afford a Stink that no Company can tolerate; while he that has lived for some Time on Vegetables only, shall have that Breath so pure as to be insensible to the most delicate Noses; and if he can manage so as to avoid the Report, he may any where give Vent to his Griefs, unnoticed. But as there are many to whom an entire Vegetable Diet would be inconvenient, and as a little Quick-Lime thrown into a Jakes will correct the amazing Quantity of fetid Air arising from the vast Mass of putrid Matter contain’d in such Places, and render it rather pleasing to the Smell, who knows but that a little Powder of Lime (or some other thing equivalent) taken in our Food, or perhaps a Glass of Limewater drank at Dinner, may have the same Effect on the Air produc’d in and issuing from our Bowels? This is worth the Experiment. Certain it is also that we have the Power of changing by slight Means the Smell of another Discharge, that of our Water. A few Stems of Asparagus eaten, shall give our Urine a disagreable Odour; and a Pill of Turpentine no bigger than a Pea, shall bestow on it the pleasing Smell of Violets. And why should it be thought more impossible in Nature, to find Means of making a Perfume of our Wind than of our Water? For the Encouragement of this Enquiry, (from the immortal Honour to be reasonably expected by the Inventor) let it be considered of how small Importance to Mankind, or to how small a Part of Mankind have been useful those Discoveries in Science that have heretofore made Philosophers famous. Are there twenty Men in Europe at this Day, the happier, or even the easier, for any Knowledge they have pick’d out of Aristotle? What Comfort can the Vortices of Descartes give to a Man who has Whirlwinds in his Bowels! The Knowledge of Newton’s mutual Attraction of the Particles of Matter, can it afford Ease to him who is rack’d by their mutual Repulsion, and the cruel Distensions it occasions? The Pleasure arising to a few Philosophers, from seeing, a few Times in their Life, the Threads of Light untwisted, and separated by the Newtonian Prism into seven Colours, can it be compared with the Ease and Comfort every Man living might feel seven times a Day, by discharging freely the Wind from his Bowels? Especially if it be converted into a Perfume: For the Pleasures of one Sense being little inferior to those of another, instead of pleasing the Sight he might delight the Smell of those about him, & make Numbers happy, which to a benevolent Mind must afford infinite Satisfaction. The generous Soul, who now endeavours to find out whether the Friends he entertains like best Claret or Burgundy, Champagne or Madeira, would then enquire also whether they chose Musk or Lilly, Rose or Bergamot, and provide accordingly. And surely such a Liberty of Expressing one’s Scent-iments, and pleasing one another, is of infinitely more Importance to human Happiness than that Liberty of the Press, or of abusing one another, which the English are so ready to fight & die for. — In short, this Invention, if compleated, would be, as Bacon expresses it, bringing Philosophy home to Mens Business and Bosoms. And I cannot but conclude, that in Comparison therewith, for universal and continual UTILITY, the Science of the Philosophers above-mentioned, even with the Addition, Gentlemen, of your “Figure quelconque” and the Figures inscrib’d in it, are, all together, scarcely worth a FART-HING.
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Aug 2, 2017 03:29
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i heard he always smelled lik farts
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Aug 2, 2017 03:30
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Hennessy McDanklin 
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Aug 2, 2017 03:34
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The founding forefathers didn't give a poo poo about poor Americans, they just didn't want to free the slaves and give their money to the british.
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Aug 2, 2017 03:38
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Pick posted:One of the finest things I know about Ben Franklin is
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Aug 2, 2017 03:39
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Sounds like ol' Benny Franks had a lot of insight, maybe his life is a testament to discovering the obvious. He had to invent electricity just so he could have light without starting a fire- literally no one one else could figure it out lmao
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Aug 2, 2017 03:45
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Perhaps if we all made an active effort towards reasonable doubt & simple kindness the world would turn a bit smoother
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Aug 2, 2017 03:52
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has anyone ever read the autobiography of Ben Franklin I like reading autobiographies. It was alright for what it was but it ended p early in his life. It didn't get to the revolution or anything. Why did he give up writing it
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Aug 2, 2017 03:54
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Ein cooler Typ posted:has anyone ever read the autobiography of Ben Franklin Sex
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Aug 2, 2017 04:52
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word?
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Aug 2, 2017 04:54
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Aug 2, 2017 06:27
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this all reminds me of jimmyjams' old ben franklin av
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Aug 2, 2017 06:36
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Franklin was an unabashed plagiarist. "Poor Richard" my rear end.
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Aug 2, 2017 07:02
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the best thing about ben franklin is that his legendary sexual escapades in france were all self-reported. according to every other contemporary source, he was treated like a kindly old grandpa the whole time.
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Aug 2, 2017 07:07
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gimme the GOD drat candy posted:the best thing about ben franklin is that his legendary sexual escapades in france were all self-reported. according to every other contemporary source, he was treated like a kindly old grandpa the whole time. the weirdest thing about te lawrence, and there are a lot, is by all accounts the part of his autobio about being ritually raped by the turks is completely made up. just some gay eroto fanfic in there for flavor.
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Aug 2, 2017 07:10
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Pick posted:the weirdest thing about te lawrence, and there are a lot, is by all accounts the part of his autobio about being ritually raped by the turks is completely made up. just some gay eroto fanfic in there for flavor. He knew his audience
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Aug 2, 2017 07:12
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i could beat up ben franklin
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Aug 2, 2017 07:12
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Hector Beerlioz posted:i could beat off ben franklin
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Aug 2, 2017 07:13
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Hector Beerlioz posted:i would beat off ben franklin
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Aug 2, 2017 07:14
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Erotic Frank fiction incoming. Drop your cocks and... Actually, check that.
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Aug 2, 2017 07:28
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Pick posted:One day, when Ben Franklin was a blundering youth, How many hundred dollar bills did the old Quaker friend get on? STEP OFF BITCH!!!!!
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Aug 2, 2017 09:09
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nice thread
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Aug 2, 2017 12:07
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Ben Franklin posted:The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement.
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Aug 2, 2017 12:22
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is it true he had sex with his slaves
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Aug 2, 2017 12:24
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Ben Franklin successfully flew his kite during a storm, thereby demonstrating proof of the existence of wind.
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Aug 2, 2017 12:26
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Ex-Priest Tobin posted:is it true he had sex with his slaves No, because Ben Gay.
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Aug 2, 2017 12:28
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Smiling Mandrill posted:How many hundred dollar bills did the old Quaker friend get on? STEP OFF BITCH!!!!! No bills, just millions of boxes of oatmeal
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Aug 2, 2017 12:28
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| # ? May 27, 2024 10:47 |
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Benjamin experimented sexually with all manner of flora and fauna, but only his coupling with a bald eagle named glory bore fruit. The half man half bird homunculus was named Samuel and grew up to found the United States Postal Service. This event is generally considered to be why the bald eagle is the symbol of the United States, and Samuel is said to be the inspiration for the popular cartoon character "Uncle Sam". Rumor also has it that after Samuel's violent conception, Benjamin Franklin wiped himself clean on a nearby American flag, jokingly naming it after the bird of prey he had raped only moments before, Old Glory!
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Aug 2, 2017 15:08
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