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Gather 'round cuties, it's time for a story: So, I used to live in Portland, Oregon. Despite what people from Portland think it is a gigantic poo poo-hole filled with people that reek of vile pretension and douchery. It sucks. The one thing that is not a complete failure (though it still is in many ways) is the light rail system the MAX. For those of us that had to commute out of the city and back it was decently useful and really didn't have breakdowns often and it was somewhat reasonable as far a price is concerned. I used it a lot. I really have little taste for conversation on the mass transit. Typically I read a book and just kind of sit there quietly. This has almost always kept people from striking up impromptu conversations with me while we're riding. It also helps that because of the work I do I really don't have to worry about how I dress and such so I look like a homeless guy most of the time. Well one day I am riding out to a suburb and as usual sitting quietly reading my book. We hit a couple of stops and basically like four people get on so there are plenty of empty seats. The train is basically empty. Out of the corner of my eye I notice this guy kind of sauntering cautiously up to me. What came next was the first clue that this was going to be an interesting interaction. He gets up next to me and, I poo poo you not, says "Hi, I see that you are reading a book, but would you like to have a conversation?" I remember is clear as day simply because it is a really loving weird question to ask someone. One thing that I have a really hard time with is being impolite to people in real life so I closed my book and accepted my fate. I told him it'd be fine and asked if he'd like to take a seat. At first I'm like, "okay, maybe this guy isn't so bad." He seemed to be a history buff and lo and behold I find American history to be interesting myself. We spent a few minutes talking about the civil war and he tells me that he is a collector of civil war artifacts. Being the nerd I am I, of course, find this to be pretty loving sweet. I'm an antique collector myself so basically, for a minute, this guy was speaking my language. We get on talking for a bit and out of the blue he brings up europeon heritage and the fact that all of his antiques are confederate made. I'm a pheno-white so I let the guy go on and don't really mention that I'm not anglo. Before I know it the guy looks right at me and says "All europeans should move back to europe and take back what's theirs." We went from antique chat to radical white supremacy in like five seconds flat. I suddenly felt just a little uncomfortable and hopped off at the next stop. I always wondered what made that guy approach me. So goons, any weird mass transit stories?
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Oct 11, 2017 15:52
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| # ? Jun 5, 2024 22:21 |
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I was taking my friend to Cooperstown for dinner when we decided to take the light rail. These two dudes were having a very heated argument, figured they might start a fight, so we got off at the next stop and waited for the next train car. A fight broke out in the train car we got on.
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Oct 11, 2017 15:57
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When you got to civil war artifacts I knew where the story was going. Just keep earbuds in your ears during transit. Even if you don't have anything playing. No one will mess with you then. As for mass transit, I've never had to take it. Kinda want to one day.
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Oct 11, 2017 16:02
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I feel like there's a direct relationship between a city having an (especially underground) train system, and the city smelling pervasively like pee.
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Oct 11, 2017 16:04
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One time while in the military I got to go to GLORIOUS NIPPON and despite being obnoxiously drunk and not knowing the language at all managed to get around just fine. On a different occasion I was in New York and found their subway system to be a confusing, inconsistent, piss soaked shitpit.
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Oct 11, 2017 16:05
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My aunt was on a MARTA train (Atlanta's rail system) and saw Eric Rudolph while there was still a manhunt for him.
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Oct 11, 2017 16:06
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I went to New York for the first time this summer and rode a subway. It was fun! There were lots of interesting, attractive people, and some African American gentlemen came in for a second and danced for us.
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Oct 11, 2017 16:10
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I was on an empty R train at 3AM one morning and a homeless guy got on, looked me up and down and then unzipped and started pissing all over the seats and got off at the next stop Im happy he was so comfortable with me there
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Oct 11, 2017 16:13
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I have a few:Jerk McJerkface posted:Try talking for two seconds on an NJT quiet car. You'll get some khaki wearing polo shirts middle aged white guy to yell at you before you finish one sentence. Once a packed train with no room a poor lady with a kid got stuck standing in the isle on a quiet car and the kid started fussing. After no less that five seconds some guy started yelling at her to get the kid off the quiet car. I was standing between her and the guy, who was sitting down, and asked him to please calm down and leave her alone, the train was packed, and she was doing the best she could, there was no where for her to go. The guy got a little irate and yelled at her more, ignoring me, so I got in the guys face and told him to leave her alone or I'd shut him up. He looked at me, and I said, "you piece of garbage I hope that awful kid didn't ruin your commute" He kept his fat gob shut for the rest of the ride.
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Oct 11, 2017 16:20
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When I lived in dc some lady fainted on the metro right in front of me and 25-30 other people. Compassionate people that we are we just stepped over her and figured someone would get around to helping her.
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Oct 11, 2017 16:21
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Did they ever release the full video of that guy who killed 2 people on the train in Portland?
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Oct 11, 2017 16:21
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German-speaking Switzerland has the best by far imho, particularly Zurich. Clean, almost always on time barring accidents, trams and buses ran very often. Geneva by comparison had dirty trams that had the standard "smells like piss and sweat" smell everywhere. Same with Germany itself, with some exceptions. I would take the shittiest european transit system over what the US has though. I've only experienced the BART thing in california (unless amtrak over 20 years ago counts) and it sucked and I got harassed for money almost every time I went down there.
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Oct 11, 2017 16:21
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Video: Lime-A-Rita Drinker Shouting Racial Slurs Gets Tossed Off L Train We've been enjoying this one in the NYC thread the last couple of days.
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Oct 11, 2017 16:23
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yeah I eat rear end posted:German-speaking Switzerland has the best by far imho, particularly Zurich. Clean, almost always on time barring accidents, trams and buses ran very often. Geneva by comparison had dirty trams that had the standard "smells like piss and sweat" smell everywhere. Same with Germany itself, with some exceptions.
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Oct 11, 2017 16:24
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I grew up in Portland too, and it seemed like every goddamn day there was a crazy person shouting on the MAX. One day I was on the MAX and standing next to a guy that looked like a cartoon pimp (cracked out, gold teeth, the works) and he slapped my rear end really hard. Nothing like that had ever happened to me before. I calmly got off at the next stop and then broke down in tears. I couldn't believe how many people were around and no one said anything.
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Oct 11, 2017 16:25
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remigious posted:I grew up in Portland too, and it seemed like every goddamn day there was a crazy person shouting on the MAX. That's awful.
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Oct 11, 2017 16:26
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remigious posted:I grew up in Portland too, and it seemed like every goddamn day there was a crazy person shouting on the MAX. and eventually you just start doing this literally: Kuato posted:When I lived in dc some lady fainted on the metro right in front of me and 25-30 other people.
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Oct 11, 2017 16:26
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one time i was on the bus, and there was a very drunk man BLASTING music through his headphones. It was so loud, that when I first got on I thought someone was playing it of their phone or a speaker or something. I sat right behind him because the bus was packed, yet there was an invisible barrier around this drunk cacophony man. I look at him and realize, his ears are god drat bleeding. Then, while the bus is at a red light, he stands up, forces the back doors open, hops off the bus, hops off the curb into the gravel and whips out his dick and starts pissing right there live on air.
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Oct 11, 2017 16:27
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Xaris posted:that sucks, but thats basically every major city transit tbf but in Portland sometimes the crazy people start slitting throats Of course, that all started because some dumbass tough guy tried to confront one about the content of his insane ravings and welp
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Oct 11, 2017 16:29
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Sibilant Crisp posted:one time i was on the bus, and there was a very drunk man BLASTING music through his headphones. It was so loud, that when I first got on I thought someone was playing it of their phone or a speaker or something. I sat right behind him because the bus was packed, yet there was an invisible barrier around this drunk cacophony man. I look at him and realize, his ears are god drat bleeding. livin' the dream
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Oct 11, 2017 16:29
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remigious posted:I grew up in Portland too, and it seemed like every goddamn day there was a crazy person shouting on the MAX. All the people not saying anything or helping you, yeah, that right there is why portland is a poo poo-hole.
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Oct 11, 2017 16:30
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Bold Robot posted:Video: Lime-A-Rita Drinker Shouting Racial Slurs Gets Tossed Off L Train
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Oct 11, 2017 16:32
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Literally A Person posted:All the people not saying anything or helping you, yeah, that right there is why portland is a poo poo-hole. Agreed! I moved to Colorado a year and a half ago with no regrets.
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Oct 11, 2017 16:33
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I used to ride the MAX a lot too OP. Anyway, when I was working night shift down town I'd commute by train. It was morning rush hour by the time I would finish up work, so the trains were always packed through a few stops. One morning, while on my way home, two dead spiders fell out of my hair and everyone near me saw it. Understandably, the people who had been near me quickly moved away. This freed up a lot of space and a couple of seats! I had a very comfortable ride home.
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Oct 11, 2017 16:34
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I used to take the bus from a suburb east of town into downtown Pittsburgh. It was about a 45 minute drive, and I'd usually sleep most of the way in. One morning there's this really bad smell, so bad I can't even fall asleep. People on the bus start coughing and hacking and a few people who were standing even get off, presumably to wait for the next bus. I know it's poo at this point, but I've only got about 20 more minutes until we hit town and I can get off at a stop within walking distance of the office. I've smelled poo before and figure I can suck it up. Then I hear "OH my GOD" and some squeals of terror from a few seats in front of me. The smell gets even worse and I hear someone say "Lift your feet up!!!". Liquid diarrhea comes rolling down the floor right under us, way more than I thought a human body could hold. I lift my feet just in time. We hit the next stop and this guy, maybe 20 years old, gets off. He's got poo poo all down his pants, coming out his pant leg. The smell is the worst thing I've ever smelled. I look out the window and he gets off, pukes on the sidewalk, then ducks into an alleyway. His pants are soaked with liquid poo poo and it looks like it's even up the back of his shirt. I get off at the next stop, carefully maneuver around the poo, and go to work. Never saw that guy again on the bus.
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Oct 11, 2017 16:38
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I was on the train behind this one, we got stuck in the tunnel with barely any light for over two hours, it was hot as hell, it was almost rush-hour crowded, and also the lady next to me changed her baby's diaper so it smelled like poo poo the whole time. Eventually we were evacuated through the tunnel by the FDNY. I was drenched in sweat and then went to my office and worked for like 12 hours. God bless the MTA. 
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Oct 11, 2017 16:38
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Hi Literally. Again I'm at work but I've got a few, cant wait to post some stories, took the T in Boston for a few years recently....talk at you in 6 hrs
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Oct 11, 2017 16:40
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I used to go to San Diego a lot for work, rode the train down to Tijuana a few times for fun. Last time I took my wife to show her, a huge fight broke out with 10 people flying over the chairs and poo poo. Police came on at the next stop (5 minutes later), cuffed a bunch of folks and led the bloody off the train. My wife was not impressed. Did not return to Tijuana again.
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Oct 11, 2017 16:41
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Spinster posted:Hi Literally. Again I'm at work but I've got a few, cant wait to post some stories, took the T in Boston for a few years recently....talk at you in 6 hrs  A Fancy Hat posted:I used to take the bus from a suburb east of town into downtown Pittsburgh. It was about a 45 minute drive, and I'd usually sleep most of the way in. One morning there's this really bad smell, so bad I can't even fall asleep. People on the bus start coughing and hacking and a few people who were standing even get off, presumably to wait for the next bus. I actually laughed out loud.
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Oct 11, 2017 16:41
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my dog died im sad posted:I used to ride the MAX a lot too OP. Ok why were there dead spiders in your hair? From work, right, like youre an exterminator? A witch?
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Oct 11, 2017 16:43
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Yes, it was related to the work I was doing. I would've normally been embarrassed or freaked out but at the time I was working and going to school and running on no sleep. I was just really happy to have a seat on the train. Totally wish I could answer that I was a witch or a necromancer though.
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Oct 11, 2017 16:46
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one time I was on a tram and one bloke was partying on something from the previous night and was being very annoying toward another, much older man who was dressed like a farmer and seemed uncomfortable in the city. The old guy was kind of just gritting his teeth until the tweaky man (accidentally?) hit oldmates girlfriend or wife or whatever when he was waving his arms around. The old guy moved like a fuckin cobra, knocked him on his rear end and then strangled him on the tram floor. Nobody did anything. "Wow", I thought. "That guy just got choked out. He's gonna have a real headache when he wakes up". I was wrong. The guy was dead and oldmate waited there until the police and an ambo came and left with both of them.
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Oct 11, 2017 16:48
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Holy poo poo 
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Oct 11, 2017 16:51
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bitmap posted:one time I was on a tram and one bloke was partying on something from the previous night and was being very annoying toward another, much older man who was dressed like a farmer and seemed uncomfortable in the city. The old guy was kind of just gritting his teeth until the tweaky man (accidentally?) hit oldmates girlfriend or wife or whatever when he was waving his arms around. This thread took an exceptionally dark turn 
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Oct 11, 2017 16:53
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My first trip to DC I had to take the metro (subway) downtown from Arlington to the capital area. I was met with a clean tunnel/boarding area (no food/drink allowed!), deftly navigated changing trains at the designated well marked station, and arrived safely and earlier than if I took a cab/car. * thought I'd add a good story since it'll prob be the only post itt.
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Oct 11, 2017 16:55
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i saw a homeless woman poo poo her pants, and though i gave her a napkin, she still managed to get poo poo on her hand (this is an NYC subway story, btw)
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Oct 11, 2017 16:58
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YeahTubaMike posted:i saw a homeless woman poo poo her pants, and though i gave her a napkin, she still managed to get poo poo on her hand Only a good citizen gives up napkins to the poo lady on the train.
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Oct 11, 2017 17:00
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The bus driver on the ride home last night was complaining about the design of the buses, specifically the fareboxes on the New Flyer's. He mentioned that unless you wedge some paper in the base that every pothole vibrates the hell out of them and they stop working. Also, the card reader in the farebox takes too loving long to process the fare. Also you know how in the raised part of the back of the bus there is a separation that is a metal panel. The panel is capped with an unpadded metal cap. If the bus has to stop quickly, a passenger's forehead is going to slap down on that metal panel and probably slice off the top of their head. 
Neutrino fucked around with this message at 17:07 on Oct 11, 2017 |
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Oct 11, 2017 17:00
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bitmap posted:one time I was on a tram and one bloke was partying on something from the previous night and was being very annoying toward another, much older man who was dressed like a farmer and seemed uncomfortable in the city. The old guy was kind of just gritting his teeth until the tweaky man (accidentally?) hit oldmates girlfriend or wife or whatever when he was waving his arms around. Hey this isn't the "Have you ever seen a corpse" thread Burt Sexual posted:My first trip to DC I had to take the metro (subway) downtown from Arlington to the capital area. I was met with a clean tunnel/boarding area (no food/drink allowed!), deftly navigated changing trains at the designated well marked station, and arrived safely and earlier than if I took a cab/car. Didn't contain murder or poo.  Just kidding. drat, you reminded me that I HAVE taken the DC metro before and my experience was similar. I was very young though.
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Oct 11, 2017 17:01
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| # ? Jun 5, 2024 22:21 |
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A Fancy Hat posted:I used to take the bus from a suburb east of town into downtown Pittsburgh. It was about a 45 minute drive, and I'd usually sleep most of the way in. One morning there's this really bad smell, so bad I can't even fall asleep. People on the bus start coughing and hacking and a few people who were standing even get off, presumably to wait for the next bus. that was me
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Oct 11, 2017 17:06
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