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when i was a kid i would semi regularly find pornographic magazines in the bushes at parks and in greenbelts and little forests and poo poo. i have explained this phenomenon to many people who look at me like i'm a lunatic but found bush porn played a fundamental role in developing sexuality. We are witnessing in our age the death of print media. Are kids in middle school being left behind? There was nothing more magical than finding some off brand 80's porn magazines ditched by some degenerate in the bushes. They were sacred treasures and horded as such. I was very cautious and out of fear for being busted I would clip out the choice pictures and store them in tupper ware containers which I buried in the back yard. I would revisit them often for mid afternoon trysts. share you're choice stories of porn you found in the bushes as a child
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Feb 11, 2018 04:50
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better than finding kids in the bushes as a porn
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Feb 11, 2018 04:52
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Meredith Baxter-Burnout posted:better than finding kids in the bushes as a porn holy gently caress
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Feb 11, 2018 04:56
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When I was a kid there was a lot of bushes in porn
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Feb 11, 2018 04:57
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I grew up in the rural desert and so I didn't see much woodland porn. I'd appreciate any stories about foliage porn you guys have.
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Feb 11, 2018 05:09
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for a long time bushes were the only thing you saw in porn. then it was all shaved. now women in poorno often have tasteful pubic hair, which personally i like.
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Feb 11, 2018 05:11
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kids these days can just type a couple keywords into bing and plumb the depths of depravity way more than your old rear end ever could
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Feb 11, 2018 05:11
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I don't like bush in my porn.
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Feb 11, 2018 05:12
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its how i saw my first pair of tittys. god bless whoever hid a porn magazine under a half destroyed tarp
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Feb 11, 2018 05:13
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Koyaanisgoatse posted:kids these days can just type a couple keywords into bing and plumb the depths of depravity way more than your old rear end ever could and yet feel so hollow
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Feb 11, 2018 05:13
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Meredith Baxter-Burnout posted:better than finding kids in the bushes as a porn *crosses eyes* *uncrosses eyes* yes
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Feb 11, 2018 05:14
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I found some in some woods I had to cross when skipping class. Must have been a sweet jack off spot. Also found a few on some river bank when swimming with a bunch of kids, some were awkwardly touching themselves. Crazy it's a thing.
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Feb 11, 2018 05:14
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I grew up on military bases. Lots of kids my age, and most of the boys had a stash somewhere. We spent a lot of time searching for all these stashes, plus the ones that were left deeper in the woods by the older boys. There was always lots of magazines that we would trade with each other. One boy got ahold of a real porn magazine, with actual pictures of people having sex (This was really unusual in the early 70's), rather than just naked ladies. The going rate was one page of porn for a whole magazine of regular nekkid ladies.
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Feb 11, 2018 05:18
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I found bush porn a couple times as a kid. Well cya.
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Feb 11, 2018 05:20
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I also found some woods porn when I was young. I hid it in an alley behind my house, but it eventually disappeared, no doubt to be found by some other horny teen
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Feb 11, 2018 05:23
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genesplicer posted:I grew up on military bases. Lots of kids my age, and most of the boys had a stash somewhere. We spent a lot of time searching for all these stashes, plus the ones that were left deeper in the woods by the older boys. There was always lots of magazines that we would trade with each other. One boy got ahold of a real porn magazine, with actual pictures of people having sex (This was really unusual in the early 70's), rather than just naked ladies. The going rate was one page of porn for a whole magazine of regular nekkid ladies. ur so old i bet u found porno scrolls in burning bushes
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Feb 11, 2018 05:24
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Orkin Mang posted:ur so old i bet u found porno scrolls in burning bushes Actually, most of it was cuneiform on clay tablets. Get it right.
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Feb 11, 2018 05:26
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Bush porn is one of the many staples of childhood that kids these days just don't experience, like being able to go outside unsupervised, just going to a friends house knocking on their door and asking if they want to go do something and actually developing normal human social skills. old_man_yells_at_cloud.gif
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Feb 11, 2018 05:27
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EvilJoven posted:Bush porn is one of the many staples of childhood that kids these days just don't experience, like being able to go outside unsupervised, just going to a friends house knocking on their door and asking if they want to go do something and actually developing normal human social skills. Bush porn experiences are what separate rural, suburb kids, from city kids. There was no bush porn IN the city, it was all around the outskirts. I still remember seeing a bunch of it (most pages were wet and I'm just now realizing that maybe it wasn't from rain oh god  ) and totally not 'getting' it.A) everyone's gross, why is there so much hair everywhere?! B) doesn't it hurt him when she puts that in her mouth? I know it would hurt me, whoa! C) why is he licking her where she pees from? D) Oh my god, she's sitting on his face, her butt is in his face, what if she farts? Also, poop comes from there, and that's gross, right guys? Ew! And now I work for the company that owns Brazzers. 
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Feb 11, 2018 05:33
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even as a child i could tell that all the peeing in bush penthouses was weird
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Feb 11, 2018 06:00
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It seems like 25 or so is the cutoff for knowing what woodsporn is. Most people younger than that had decent internet in their early teens and never knew the joy of finding a stash somewhere.
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Feb 11, 2018 06:05
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Once I found a DVD called "Sexy rear end Black Girls Doing Crazy rear end poo poo" behind a camping lodge.
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Feb 11, 2018 06:06
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Whole barrels of it have been found within the last several years https://youtu.be/6u4j07LaxRI
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Feb 11, 2018 06:13
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Ugly In The Morning posted:It seems like 25 or so is the cutoff for knowing what woodsporn is. Most people younger than that had decent internet in their early teens and never knew the joy of finding a stash somewhere. Completely agreed. I am 32 so found porn was definitely a staple of adolescence. I am from the suburbs near a bunch of forest preserves, so mine was less 'bush porn' and more 'woods porn' like Ugly In The Morning' said. Also, kids now will never know the frustration of watch scrambled porn, dick in hand, waiting for the picture to snap clear for half a second. Or the joy of making a friend at school and then discovering his house had the holy 'black box' that got all the cable channels, including the Playboy and Spice channel. Oh the good old days. Now excuse me while I go clip some coupons and be casually racist.
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Feb 11, 2018 06:16
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I didn't find this in the woods, but rather the side of a dirt road. this takes place in the mid 90s. i think i was 10 or 11 at the time. i grew up in a small town in a house that was close to some farm land. The main part of the town was 3 miles away from my family's house so i would usually bike there. The magazine I found was "Reader's Wives". I have no idea if they were legit reader's wives that mailed their pics in or what but I can tell you it had an amateur feel to it. i was a horny preteen then so it was wankworthy enough on a related note, as a young kid i was sent to some latchkey center after school because both of my parents worked and that was a popular thing to do with your kids in the 90s if no adult was home. i had to have been around 7 or 8 and i remember some kid brought in some torn pages from the ad section of a porno mag. he showed other boys in the bathroom- not for the creep factor but that's how you showed other boys without the female adults finding out. seeing those tits and spread legs - i think i was confused more than anything. i mean, that's what's between their legs? it looked like a hairy gash. someone eventually told on the kid and he got busted
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Feb 11, 2018 06:17
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I never found porn anywhere other than the random "soft porn" poo poo you would find on HBO late at night. Can imagine my surprise later in life.
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Feb 11, 2018 06:38
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i had the same poo poo except I found all mine in old tires
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Feb 11, 2018 06:39
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I used to just snoop around my dads room when he was at work. I knew the hustlers were around somewhere. I even found a VHS once! "Boobtube" it was called. It was pretty nasty! 
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Feb 11, 2018 06:41
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Why are goons so obsessed with this? I swear there's a woods porn thread every two months.
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Feb 11, 2018 06:41
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Manchild King posted:Why are goons so obsessed with this? I swear there's a woods porn thread every two months. Many cultures have rites of passage that tells members of that culture they have moved from one stage to the next. However, many western cultures lack this, which causes problems for young people, who do not have a clear-cut point where they are part of the next step. Finding woods porn may be part of our attempts to give us our own rites of passage. That, or it's something that really made an impression on us...
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Feb 11, 2018 06:46
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Hmmm interesting. Thus without woods porn boys can never become men and forever remain in a state of arrested development.BONE DOG posted:They were sacred treasures and horded as such. I was very cautious and out of fear for being busted I would clip out the choice pictures and store them in tupper ware containers which I buried in the back yard. I would revisit them often for mid afternoon trysts. Manchild King fucked around with this message at 06:51 on Feb 11, 2018 |
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Feb 11, 2018 06:49
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the first time I saw porn I was 10, and it was from some random person off of aol instant messanger. It scared the poo poo out of me and I pulled the power cord,lol.
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Feb 11, 2018 06:50
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Found a Penthouse magazine on the roadside with a buddy. The best pages were stuck together with this stringy smelly stuff. We pretty much knew what it was and tossed it. I went back to collect it so I could read the articles.
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Feb 11, 2018 09:53
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i just went to the local newsagents the night before garbage day, they usually had stacks of them with the covers torn off just sitting out in the open for anyone to help themselves too.
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Feb 11, 2018 09:56
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How can you be old enough to have experienced woods porn but not old enough to realize this thread has been rehashed to death many times already smh
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Feb 11, 2018 10:06
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Hey any you kids wanna see your own dead bodies
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Feb 11, 2018 10:09
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Former DILF posted:Hey any you kids wanna see your own dead bodies
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Feb 11, 2018 10:41
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Who throws away porn in the woods? Y'all were probably raiding other kids' stashes, judging by that guy who buried his porn in his backyard like some sort of dog type person. Unless... there's some kind of toothfairy-like porn demon out there  Anyway, pretty sure the only person within 20 miles of me that had any porn mags was my older brother, and he had a whole drawer full of them. A teacher asked my buddy if he could find him a mag of porn (for science reasons ofc), and my buddy came to me so we could steal one from my brother cause that's the only place he knew there were some. The first porn I ever saw was when I was gonna show said buddy the movie Predator when we were like 6 or 7 or something. Said brother had shown it to me the night before by hiding me from mom under a table, but I figured it was still in the VCR so we could watch it some. Turned it on, and instead of the Predator, it was a naked man lying on a bed, fingering the buttholes of two naked ladies lying by his sides, all making otherwordly noises. Then mom barged in, kicked down the door, murdered everyone and wondered what in the holy gently caress was going on here 
Mooey Cow fucked around with this message at 11:07 on Feb 11, 2018 |
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Feb 11, 2018 11:05
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Haha I clipped pictures too, from old copies of the scurrilous newsoaper (Melbourne, Australia's long defunct"The Truth") with page 3 girls my dad left in the garage. Finding some dirty cobwebby soft porn mag with half the pages stuck together (by water, I liked to assume) was rare but thrilling each time. I kept all my naked girlue clippings initially in a wallet, which I accidentally left on the kitchen table once when I came home from primary school for lunch. My mum found it and that took a while to live down. Years later I was caught again, my mum found the carton I'd stashed round the side of the house behind a bush containing all the newspaper pages with the tit and rear end pics clipped out. This took even longer to live down than the previous bust. As recently as 10 years ago I'd still have a wicked wank whenever I found an old porn mag (or part thereof) in the bush. These days I limit myself to looking at the gf, with any naked chicks/sex I see on TV being, I guess you'd call it, a bonus. BigBadSteve fucked around with this message at 11:32 on Feb 11, 2018 |
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Feb 11, 2018 11:20
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| # ? May 25, 2024 22:27 |
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when I was a kid, my drug dealer brother had lots of insane addict buddies around him one of them was a man named Big John, who, for some loving reason, needed to store his camper trailer thing at my parents' place. I still do not know why they agreed to this except maybe my mom was trying to win points with my brother since they had a lovely relationship, I dunno. Being a curious / intrusive teenager, I broke into said trailer one night to find it was filthy, and packed full of porn and religious materials in conclusion, Big John was a man of contrasts
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Feb 11, 2018 11:58
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