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everybody knows there's nothing better than humpin and a-bumpin with a big strapping bear of a man but sometimes your options are limited and you have to make do with a boring ol' lady, so post your tips to make the most of your situation. here's mine: get down low and start sucking on her cooter. it won't be much fun because its damp and stinky down there, but just keep sucking as long and as hard as you can. if you do it right you should hear a loud *pop* sound and that baby will turn itself inside out. then BINGO! you're suckin on a dick. what else youu got?
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Feb 24, 2018 07:19
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| # ? May 26, 2024 22:41 |
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please don't post impossible tasks
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Feb 24, 2018 07:22
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I'm not gay but dammit if OP isn't making a compelling case
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Feb 24, 2018 07:23
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I've never enjoyed sex very much but I hear having it with women you're actually attracted to is way more fun.
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Feb 24, 2018 07:24
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mind the walrus posted:I've never enjoyed sex very much but I hear having it with women you're actually attracted to is way more fun. woah
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Feb 24, 2018 07:24
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If they don't have an allergy, give them some honey roasted peanuts!
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Feb 24, 2018 07:24
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Wow I was gonna say put on some fun music like John Denver but yours is good too op. 
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Feb 24, 2018 07:29
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I just read in the interesting facts thread that if you eat brazil nuts then nut in a lady with a nut allergy and that could possibly kill her. That's the only interesting thing about sex with women that i'm aware of 
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Feb 24, 2018 07:30
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Bath Tubs posted:I just read in the interesting facts thread that if you eat brazil nuts then nut in a lady with a nut allergy and that could possibly kill her. I call it a "brazilian sunrise"
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Feb 24, 2018 07:32
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Bath Tubs posted:I just read in the interesting facts thread that if you eat brazil nuts then nut in a lady with a nut allergy and that could possibly kill her. Men store nuts in they’re cheeks not they’re balls. 
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Feb 24, 2018 07:33
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Wear a strap-on over your micropeen.
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Feb 24, 2018 07:34
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Consent 
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Feb 24, 2018 07:34
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Gatekeeper posted:Consent
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Feb 24, 2018 07:36
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put it in their butt
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Feb 24, 2018 07:36
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pretend her boobs are just a couple of ballsacks
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Feb 24, 2018 07:36
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ClamdestineBoyster posted:Wow I was gonna say put on some fun music like John Denver but yours is good too op. that's a good idea then if you closed your eyes you could pretend you were givin it to john denver
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Feb 24, 2018 07:38
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Nefarious 2.0 posted:that's a good idea then if you closed your eyes you could pretend you were givin it to john denver What do you mean close my eyes lol. I naturally seek out women who look like John Denver’s twin sister. 
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Feb 24, 2018 07:53
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Don't be married to the woman.
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Feb 24, 2018 07:57
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i look like killmonger; pm me
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Feb 24, 2018 07:59
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If her boobies are big enough, you can use them as a stand to prop up your Nintendo DS so you can play a game while you joylessly slide your erection into and out of her vagina. Be sure to use headphones so the sounds of your videogame don't wake her up if she falls alseep during.
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Feb 24, 2018 08:05
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See how deep you can get your penis into her vagina without touching the sides.
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Feb 24, 2018 08:07
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if you use a syringe to inject fentanyl in your nuts it won't effect you, but when you come inside the woman she will absorb the full effect of the opioids
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Feb 24, 2018 08:07
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Give her a penis.
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Feb 24, 2018 08:09
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Meredith Baxter-Burnout posted:put it in their butt edit: Node posted:Give her a penis. Caufman fucked around with this message at 08:14 on Feb 24, 2018 |
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Feb 24, 2018 08:11
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Node posted:Give her a penis. This will also make looking at her more fun as well.
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Feb 24, 2018 08:12
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Applewhite posted:See how deep you can get your penis into her vagina without touching the sides. and then shake yo hips and ring that cooter like a church bell!
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Feb 24, 2018 08:18
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ive tried everything. im at the end of my ropes
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Feb 24, 2018 08:23
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Bring your warhammer figurines to play with while thrusting inside her.
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Feb 24, 2018 08:26
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make sure she is on birth control so they wont find your genetics as repulsive.
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Feb 24, 2018 08:33
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Insert a delicious meal into her vagina, you'll appear to selflessly pleasure her but are in fact enjoying the finest cuisine.
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Feb 24, 2018 08:36
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do it from the back you can pretend they are a dude
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Feb 24, 2018 08:36
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Icochet posted:Insert a delicious meal into her vagina, you'll appear to selflessly pleasure her but are in fact enjoying the finest cuisine. Pro tip. Gonna try this one.
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Feb 24, 2018 08:37
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Have sex with a chubby woman so her jiggling triggers your ASMR response.
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Feb 24, 2018 08:38
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Icochet posted:Insert a delicious meal into her vagina, you'll appear to selflessly pleasure her but are in fact enjoying the finest cuisine. Hell yeah nothin like a good old “sloppy trough”  
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Feb 24, 2018 18:16
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Only have sex with women with huge dicks op. If she's not packing at least 8" why are you even bothering?
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Feb 24, 2018 18:19
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Cover yourself in rubber to not get some std. it’s a minefield out there folks
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Feb 24, 2018 18:20
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Cover her body in hot creamed corn
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Feb 24, 2018 18:20
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"Right there"
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Feb 24, 2018 18:24
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Use the blood ritual stone as a back massager! Take your clothes off BEFORE the sacrifice to feel the warm thrill of confusion as their blood flies! Use your scrying mirror as a regular mirror and hang it above your bed for a new perspective! Consent.
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Feb 24, 2018 18:26
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| # ? May 26, 2024 22:41 |
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Motorboat her backboobs during doggy
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Feb 24, 2018 18:27
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