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hey gbs i just got a sweet new job offer in the tech center here in denver and have to take a drug test in a couple hours. the problem is the one time i shmoked weed this year was 10 days ago (i honestly didn't think anyone still drug tested here) and it was mostly stems. i've spent the last 2 days eating tons of crap food and the last 5 days before that running 5 miles every day. i've drank a ton of coffee and water this morning and plan on really pissing up a storm at 2 PM. how hosed am i gibbus? what do you think my odds are? also share your drug testing stories here Update: I passed. Old work booted me this morning after I gave notice and is paying me out 130 hours of PTO and paying me my two weeks notice. Getting hosed up on beer now at 10 AM. ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD fucked around with this message at 17:11 on Apr 25, 2018 |
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Apr 23, 2018 17:41
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| # ? May 26, 2024 16:19 |
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If its a standard piss test just drink an extreme amount of water the day of. One of two things will happen - It will be rejected for being too watered down - It will pass (dilution is everything) If its rejected you have to reschedule which buys you time, and you aren't faulted for drinking water in preparation for a piss test. Dont bother will all the other poo poo. Your odds are extremely good. The standard piss test at like labcorp clear under some pretty generous parts per million
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Apr 23, 2018 17:44
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do they screen for beer normally
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Apr 23, 2018 17:45
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SCROTO TURBOSPERG posted:do they screen for beer normally yes absolutely, the sample is sealed well enough to prevent evaporation swab tests are getting a lot more common these days as well which you will be fine for
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Apr 23, 2018 17:46
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SCROTO TURBOSPERG posted:do they screen for beer normally Yes, menthol cigarettes too
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Apr 23, 2018 17:47
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Dillon2 posted:Yes, menthol cigarettes too what happened to the first dillon
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Apr 23, 2018 17:48
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checkbox poll voted ALL
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Apr 23, 2018 17:48
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THC is fat soluble, op. The exercising helps, but water and coffee won't help for poo poo. Keep a pack of tests on hand and piss test yourself every 2 data to find out how long it takes to your body to get clean. It's 10 days for me. Seriously, you can get a 10 pack of THC tests for 
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Apr 23, 2018 17:49
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In Europe they don't drugs screen for years because hat's a hosed up thing to do. loving euros.
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Apr 23, 2018 17:50
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Last time I had to take one (plastic factory run by fascists), I drank whiskey all night, showed up with only a bit of coffee in me, and provided the nastiest, rust-colored, first-piss-in-the-morning hangover piss of a sample. It rivaled shits in it's hue and odor. Got an inconclusive and never retested though I got the job.
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Apr 23, 2018 17:51
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the best part about this is that my job considers the new job a "competitor" and will pay out 2 weeks of labor just to get rid of me as I declined to sign a non-compete when I started. If I pass, I get about a month's pay in vacation payout/2 week notice payout at my old job and start my new job next wednesday. If I fail, I still have my old job that I hate and I get to poo poo on a really helpless HR lady for their antiquated drug policies  it's a win/win
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Apr 23, 2018 17:51
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on top of the fact you will almost certainly pass with simple dilution, since youre in denver you have another safety net of being in a legal state. While any company can reject you under their own policies you have a significant chance of them just ignoring a marijuana positive. Not that you should try and find out. again just drink an unhealthyy amount of water the day of
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Apr 23, 2018 17:51
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Peetown Manning posted:Last time I had to take one (plastic factory run by fascists), I drank whiskey all night, showed up with only a bit of coffee in me, and provided the nastiest, rust-colored, first-piss-in-the-morning hangover piss of a sample. It rivaled shits in it's hue and odor. i'm reminded of that clip from home movies with coach mcguirk giving a piss sample to the nurse. "have you seen african queen?"
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Apr 23, 2018 17:53
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1gnoirents posted:on top of the fact you will almost certainly pass with simple dilution, since youre in denver you have another safety net of being in a legal state. While any company can reject you under their own policies you have a significant chance of them just ignoring a marijuana positive. Not that you should try and find out. again just drink an unhealthyy amount of water the day of that's exactly what I was thinking. you sound like you have a lot of experience with this.
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Apr 23, 2018 17:53
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A standard employment test will not test for alcohol. ETG alcohol testing is rare outside of treatment and probation/parole screenings because it's very expensive, and even then any moderate amount of alcohol is unlikely to be detected after 48 hours. An actual ethanol test will come up clear on your second piss after your BAC hits zero - ETG is a metabolite that lingers a little longer but as I said, ETG tests are not done for normal employment screenings. 10 days with no weed you are 99% likely to be good unless you were a very heavy smoker. Even for a heavy weed smoker 7-10 days is generally going to be clear, that "30 days" thing is a myth perpetuated by both drug testing companies AND weed smokers who keep pissing dirty because they keep smoking. You should be fine. Drink some water (not too much or you risk a dilute - 2-3 glasses in the hours before the test is fine) and pop some B vitamins so the piss isn't clear. Good luck! Delysid fucked around with this message at 17:57 on Apr 23, 2018 |
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Apr 23, 2018 17:54
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SCROTO TURBOSPERG posted:that's exactly what I was thinking. I kinda do. Dilution works. I've had plenty of standard labcorp style tests and also monthly probation office drug testing where they literally watch your dick pee. delysid is right about alcohol though I was just making fun of you for beer
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Apr 23, 2018 17:57
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friend used to work in a nuclear plant and he passed a swab test on the Tuesday after we spent the weekend getting baked
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Apr 23, 2018 17:57
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I hope you pass OP. Drug tests are one of the many tools of the devil.
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Apr 23, 2018 18:00
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I have a Congolese friend who began a masters program in China where he also teaches an English course as part of the curriculum or something a few years ago. He smokes weed quite a bit, and did not think he would need to take another drug test once he arrived in China after taking the one mandated by his university and passing. Upon arrival he is told he will have to take another physical by a doctor of their choice, along with a piss test which he would surely fail. He lies through a translator that he was molested as a child by a doctor, and refuses to have any screening or a urine test done without a family member present as it causes him to have panic attacks or something. They bought It, or called his bluff at least and said he had two days for someone to arrive in Guangdong or wherever to accompany him to get it done by their doctor. His brother is a baggage handler at one of the major US airlines, and has flight benefits that allow him to pretty much fly anywhere in the world on standby at a moments notice. The brother hops on a 23 hour flight to bring one of those bong shop piss cleaner drink things to him and leaves the next day after sitting through the physical and appointment with him. He passed the test and is finishing up the program this year
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Apr 23, 2018 18:03
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XMNN posted:friend used to work in a nuclear plant and he passed a swab test on the Tuesday after we spent the weekend getting baked Yeah those things are a joke you literally have to be high taking a swab test. I mean its probably a better "moral" drug test but if the goal is to find out if you smoke drugs its not exactly useful. However they are useful for post-accident testing which is I imagine the ideal use case however I've only ever hear them being used for pre employment screening. I guess if you can't pass one of those you seriously don't deserve the job though. Last time I really cared how hot I peed I got drug test kits off amazon 2 for $5 back in the day. I'm sure they're still there. I just remembered a drug test story though. When I was on probation I was doing much more serious drug tests though still just pee. I was (legally) on vyvanse at the time as well. Now my $2.50 pee sticks would pick up "AMPHETAMINE/METHAMPHETAMINE" no problem like it was the quickest and brightest result. But for some reason I'd always test negative at the probation office, both instant and lab results. Again since I was legal I never cared too much but I always thought that was very odd... omg ................. thanks for the AV
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Apr 23, 2018 18:06
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NigelsPoppet posted:I have a Congolese friend who began a masters program in China where he also teaches an English course as part of the curriculum or something a few years ago. that's awesome.
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Apr 23, 2018 18:08
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When I was a manager at the carwash job I had, we'd get tagged for randoms. One time a high school kid that I worked with got the draw. Normal procedure for this was for us to call whoever got it and say "hey you got pulled for a random, you need to go take it within 24 hours." At this location at this particular time, we had a real dickhead assistant who was a suck-rear end. So he waits until just before the clinic closes for testing at 4pm to call the kid (knowing that the next day is a weekend so the testing place is closed) and says "hey I know it's your day off, can you swing by for a couple minutes to pick something up?" The kid says sure. He shows up and says "whatcha need, I'm kinda out with my girlfriend so..." The assistant then puts down the random paperwork and says "hey you need to go right now for your random cuz otherwise you won't have time to make it" and basically forced this kid to drive to the testing place to pee in a cup with his girlfriend in the lobby waiting I said "why the gently caress didn't you just call him this morning and give him a heads up so he had plenty of time?" And the assistant responds "well...I didn't want him to have time to get one of those detox drinks, you know?"
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Apr 23, 2018 18:09
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Let us know what happens and GOOD LUCK!!!
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Apr 23, 2018 18:11
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the most soul crushing job i had was administering drug screening for cps
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Apr 23, 2018 18:12
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Apr 23, 2018 18:15
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Apr 23, 2018 18:21
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XMNN posted:friend used to work in a nuclear plant and he passed a swab test on the Tuesday after we spent the weekend getting baked The swab test is very beatable even after heavy smoking, it's nowhere near as sensitive as a urine test. Even after heavy smoking, saliva tests are going to come back clean pretty much all of the time after 48 hours. Basically with a standard employment drug test it's going to be a urine dip stick test that will test for metabolites of THC, cocaine, amphetamines, opioids, PCP (supposedly... I'm in a treatment program for alcohol and they don't even test us for that but it's part of the NIDA/SAMSHA 5 which is what employment test labs follow) and possibly benzos (which are somehow not in the NIDA 5.) If the dip stick comes up negative and the sample isn't clear and doesn't have low creatinine levels, that's it - they're not doing GCMS on every sample because it's a waste of time and money. The THC dip is significantly less sensitive than GCMS so diluting might actually be shooting yourself in the foot of your sample looks suspect. 10 days, you're probably good OP. A guy in my program had a THC-COOH level of 500 (which is considered high, I was 315 on my one and only dirty urine after being a daily smoker when I started the program - for alcohol not weed) and he was clean in (edit: 10) days. The 30 day thing is an overblown myth and a lot of people needlessly lose a lot of sleep over it. Delysid fucked around with this message at 18:33 on Apr 23, 2018 |
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Apr 23, 2018 18:28
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Percelus posted:the most soul crushing job i had was administering drug screening for cps that sounds devastating. got any cool stories? Spinster posted:Let us know what happens and GOOD LUCK!!! definitely! You ever had a drug test, Spins? How'd it go?
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Apr 23, 2018 18:37
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Skypie posted:When I was a manager at the carwash job I had, we'd get tagged for randoms. One time a high school kid that I worked with got the draw. Normal procedure for this was for us to call whoever got it and say "hey you got pulled for a random, you need to go take it within 24 hours." did the kid pass? also, I can't think of any reason why you need a drug screen to work in a car wash
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Apr 23, 2018 18:46
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The last job I had that drug tested was cool. First day on the job after quitting time, the manager handed me a pipe and said try some of this and tell me what you think. I took a big rip and said good stuff. He told me I passed.
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Apr 23, 2018 18:47
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Apr 23, 2018 18:50
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SCROTO TURBOSPERG posted:did the kid pass? also, I can't think of any reason why you need a drug screen to work in a car wash Yeah he passed. Also the reason is partially because pretty much every job on the planet requires a drug screen now and partially that the company owners were stodgy old dudes. The work dress code required us to wear neck ties, no visible tattoos, and dudes couldn't have any jewelry, no beards, and hair couldn't touch your ears or the back of your shirt collar. It was monumentally retarded but I was in my teens/early 20s and it was paying for college
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Apr 23, 2018 19:01
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SCROTO TURBOSPERG posted:that sounds devastating. got any cool stories? No, there isn't much drug testing of bar staff, I mean once in a while a source would run dry but one of us always had a back up dealer in the wings.
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Apr 23, 2018 19:02
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1gnoirents posted:If its a standard piss test just drink an extreme amount of water the day of. One of two things will happen FYI as someone who has given hundreds if not thousands of drug tests, this is the legit best advice. Drink a poo poo load of water and drink an energy drink (the excess vitamins prevent the test from reading as dilute in most standard tests)
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Apr 23, 2018 19:06
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ive never had a drug test cause i always work grown up jobs where they dont need to test you
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Apr 23, 2018 19:08
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Last time I had to piss test another person there peed into the toilet with the blue water and dipped the cup into that for his sample lol instantly disqualified from his job
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Apr 23, 2018 19:08
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T.S. Smelliot posted:FYI as someone who has given hundreds if not thousands of drug tests, this is the legit best advice. Drink a poo poo load of water and drink an energy drink (the excess vitamins prevent the test from reading as dilute in most standard tests) They used to always tell us not to drink anything after like 12 for our drug tests through the union hall cuz guys took them after work. Like yeah right, I can't hold it all day. So I'd chug water after lunch and down an energy drink on the way to the test so I'd have to pee I'm extremely boring and don't do drugs though
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Apr 23, 2018 19:09
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Nooner posted:ive never had a drug test cause i always work grown up jobs where they dont need to test you Shut up cali boy
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Apr 23, 2018 19:10
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Nooner posted:ive never had a drug test cause i always work grown up jobs where they dont need to test you Yeah me too up till today. :-(
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Apr 23, 2018 19:28
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| # ? May 26, 2024 16:19 |
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My previous job required a drug test but I just never went. Then I got my callback saying I got the job. Then I showed up on Monday. Then I worked there for 4 years and never heard anything about the drug test I didn't take. Then I quit and got a new job. lmao
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Apr 23, 2018 19:37
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