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Can we get like 50 glasses of water? You know what, just bring us every pitcher you have in the building, fill it with ice water, and leave it on the table for us.
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Jun 9, 2019 04:28
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| # ? Jun 7, 2024 23:18 |
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*collectively order every item on the menu* *complain profusely that the food took forever to arrive, and most of it is cold* *leave no tip for the multiple servers that got their orders right and remembered who ordered what* *leave a one star review blaming the serving staff*
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Jun 9, 2019 04:41
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FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WE NEED MORE CRAYONS FOR THE KIDS. THE IPADS ARE ALL DEAD
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Jun 9, 2019 04:45
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 with several boxes of wine stacked in a orderly fashion, we have a wall of wine. 
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Jun 9, 2019 04:48
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Can you get a picture of all of us?
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Jun 9, 2019 04:50
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We’ll be splitting the check, thank you. How many ways? I don’t know, we have to see if Janet, Rodger, or Mickey and his kids will make it out. We’ll know in a half-hour, forty-five tops, I swear.
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Jun 9, 2019 04:54
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Dumps entire plate of food on the floor.
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Jun 9, 2019 04:56
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brings a birthday cake and asks if they can keep it in the fridge
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Jun 9, 2019 04:59
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I'm sorry, I thought you said this wasn't spicy. Auntie Ethel can't handle spice. We're not paying for this! *the dish in question has barely a pinch of black pepper*
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Jun 9, 2019 05:01
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Excuse me, does your birthday need to be today to get the song and the complimentary garlic bread?
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Jun 9, 2019 05:14
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*Is in a 50 person group but orders a milk, an orange juice, and a coffee all for just themselves*
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Jun 9, 2019 05:24
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*Takes massive inhale through my huge infant maw* "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa - WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaa.... Bluh bluh..." Vomits all over my mom's titty
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Jun 9, 2019 05:27
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But enough about last night
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Jun 9, 2019 05:38
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*does a massive line of coke and fucks the wife of my reverend cousin in the bathroom*
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Jun 9, 2019 05:39
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11 p.m. Awww, they turned the music off...
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Jun 9, 2019 05:40
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*hires massage therapist for waiter with pepper mill* “Keep it comin buddy I like my Waldorf salad blackened”
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Jun 9, 2019 05:40
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*gets told to clean up after the kids* *goes on rampage*
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Jun 9, 2019 05:43
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Puts entire finger in bum.
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Jun 9, 2019 09:23
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Has an amazing time, and the head cook comes out and toasts all of us as hes good friends with the father in law who planned this. We do this three or more times a week
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Jun 9, 2019 09:32
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Theres a bar tab oh sweet. 4hrs later... Wow, that pretty good, nice finger food. Nice to see everyone again. ----------------
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Jun 9, 2019 09:40
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*books for 35 on a Saturday night* *has 20 extra people show up* *complains that there's not enough room for everyone*
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Jun 9, 2019 09:43
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Just bring all the chicken tenders. All of them.
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Jun 9, 2019 10:03
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"A bottle of your finest ranch dressing, please" *tops up grandma's enteral pump for the third time this evening*
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Jun 9, 2019 10:19
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Coasterphreak posted:*books for 35 on a Saturday night* *books for 50 on a Saturday night* *20 show up*
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Jun 9, 2019 10:30
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Do you have any food that isn't "ethnic"?
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Jun 9, 2019 10:33
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Gets all the kids fried mantou so theres enough for each kid to have one and a leftover the kids play musical chairs over in order to win.
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Jun 9, 2019 11:00
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The last time we did this, after my wife's grandmother's funeral, my in-laws made sure to have a select menu made to make sure none of the loser relatives tried to skive a surf-n-turf out of the deal.
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Jun 9, 2019 11:35
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*drops an 80 year old pork rind turd under the table*
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Jun 9, 2019 13:10
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I've got all kinds of allergies so I brought my own special vodka
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Jun 9, 2019 13:29
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*stays at home*
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Jun 9, 2019 14:01
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Bloody Hedgehog posted:*stays at home* *Mails you an invoice equal to your percentage of the total bill*
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Jun 9, 2019 17:50
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Breakfast table is closed, does not eat a thing.
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Jun 9, 2019 17:52
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*arrives there 15 minutes early with my immediate branch of the family, the only other ones there are the inlaws* "we should wait for everybody else!" *hour and 45 minutes go by until the last family member arrives, waiters already took everybody else's drinks, appetizers, and meals* *is also sandwiched by the last two family members that are 250 pounds overweight and absolutely cannot and will not shut the gently caress up about politics at every moment during every conversation* *is bothered by a relative on the furthest possible spot on the table where I am sitting reaching over and loudly asking if she can have a piece of my steak, then complains equally loudly about how salty it is before ordering her third glass of pinot grigio*
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Jun 9, 2019 18:06
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The aristocrats!
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Jun 9, 2019 19:15
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*There's a projector set up for some reason*
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Jun 9, 2019 19:19
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Grudgerm posted:Breakfast table is closed, does not eat a thing. *still expects you to pay an equal share towards the bill, having drunk cocktails and eaten caviar all night* *sulks like hell when you don't and doesn't contribute to the tip*
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Jun 9, 2019 19:28
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*keeps ripping chicken fried steak farts all night*
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Jun 9, 2019 19:38
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Big parties, ughhh. Your waitress didn't want you, big parties famously won't tip well- the bill is going to be high and you probably are relying on the generosity of one person rather than multiple (if you work a typical multi-table restaurant shift.) So your waitress is pissed most likely. Also, she hates your children. She will smile and say they are cute maybe but she is lying through gritted teeth. If kids are running around while she is carrying and serving plates of food you may be able to spot the hate, lol. And have you ever looked at a kid's table when they are done? Prebussing french fry milk soup bowls is gross. The highchair(s)? Those are the dirtiest loving things in the entire restaurant and I'm counting the urinals. I worked in a hotel/restaurant for 13 years, not a shithole, we had 4 of those heavy blond wood narrow triangular highchairs: never saw them being cleaned, ever. Obviously a busser must have swiped at some baby puke at some point with his filthy bar towel but 
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Jun 9, 2019 19:59
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What's with all the bad tipping stories? Virtually every restaurant has required gratuity for parties bigger than 6.
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Jun 9, 2019 20:16
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| # ? Jun 7, 2024 23:18 |
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hayden. posted:What's with all the bad tipping stories? Virtually every restaurant has required gratuity for parties bigger than 6. The server has the option of not applying the grat if they think they’ll get a better tip out of it. Always apply the grat
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Jun 9, 2019 20:23
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