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shovelbum
Oct 21, 2010

Fun Shoe
People have been buying beef jerky from this guy, including the goon classic FATTY JERKY since Feb 2005 and are still at it. I know a lot of long-running AI and TFR threads are almost this old but this one is the oldest I could find.

greggman posted:

FATTY Jerky

What is it?
FATTY jerky is our regular jerky (strips only) that has more fat in it. The fat isn't trimmed off and may have some marbled throughout it. You won't see anything about it on our website (it is an "inside" secret that was started on this thread years ago. We package it in 1/2 Lb and 3.5 oz bags (sometimes 1.75 oz). We generally have it in stock in the sizes listed above. If we are out of a particular size/flavor, we'll package it out of the next batch of that flavor. In that case, it may take a day or so to ship, but it will become a top priority for us.

To order, place your order on our website like normal. When checking out use the special instructions box to indicate which bags are fatty.

When you get your order, the package label will be normal, EXCEPT you'll see the word "FAT" written above the Nutritional Label. Of course you'll also notice that the jerky looks different (lots of FAT!)

***IMPORTANT INFO ABOUT FATTY JERKY***
Please read before ordering

*FATTY jerky will NOT have the same shelf life as regular jerky because of the fat and moisture associated with it. After opening, you should eat it quickly or it will spoil. You can freeze it after opening to extend the shelf life. I recommend reading what others in the thread have to say about their experiences with it as well.

*The Nutritional Facts will not be accurate. There will be more fat, calories and slightly less sodium. Since every bag is different, I won't try to make an estimate.

*No refunds on FATTY jerky will be issued. If it becomes moldy before you open it (unlikely), we will gladly replace it. We will also gladly replace it if it is spoiled when you first open it. That is also unlikely, but it is possible because of the extra moisture contained in the fat itself (fat doesn't really dry).

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interwhat
Jul 23, 2005

it's kickin in dude
Good Job, jerky goon

Zeluth
May 12, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Got my shipment on Monday. Or, was it Tuesday? Regardless, I was waiting on my stoop for the USPS person to go away.

poopnanners
May 3, 2016

hey guys lets party
Fatty Jerky is an apt description of my masturbation habits.

Animal-Mother
Feb 14, 2012

RABBIT RABBIT
RABBIT RABBIT

shovelbum
Oct 21, 2010

Fun Shoe

i love this guy, he still posts

Peachfart
Jan 21, 2017


A classic.

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

I'm so hungry for jerky now

Schweinhund
Oct 23, 2004

:derp:   :kayak:                                     
The oldest active thread is the Buyer/Seller review thread in SA Mart which is from April 2002 https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=140694

shovelbum
Oct 21, 2010

Fun Shoe

Schweinhund posted:

The oldest active thread is the Buyer/Seller review thread in SA Mart which is from April 2002 https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=140694

Holy poo poo that's still the same thread?

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?
drat forums used to look rad

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

Schweinhund posted:

The oldest active thread is the Buyer/Seller review thread in SA Mart which is from April 2002 https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=140694

I dare you to ask how many gummy bears he can eat

SilvergunSuperman
Aug 7, 2010

Stuff those horrible :canada: prices right up your rear end, we don't want it anyway or fall asleep dreaming of that tender, perfect jerky...

Dixville
Nov 4, 2008

I don't think!
Ham Wrangler
I was looking in the musicians lounge and I wanna say one thread started in 2004. Dunno which one. Welp hope this helps!

Dixville
Nov 4, 2008

I don't think!
Ham Wrangler

Schweinhund posted:

The oldest active thread is the Buyer/Seller review thread in SA Mart which is from April 2002 https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=140694

Well gently caress

Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Dec 22, 2005

GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS
no but it's the thread with the 8th most distinct posters in it

Resting Lich Face
Feb 21, 2019


This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

no but it's the thread with the 8th most distinct posters in it

That is a curious statistic.

a sexual elk
May 16, 2007

Heh Gay

shovelbum
Oct 21, 2010

Fun Shoe

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

no but it's the thread with the 8th most distinct posters in it

So is the buyer seller review thread actually the oldest?

Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Dec 22, 2005

GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

shovelbum posted:

So is the buyer seller review thread actually the oldest?
Yep - I posted a bunch of such things in the stats thread in QCS. I promise it's not like the rest of QCS.
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3899931

shovelbum
Oct 21, 2010

Fun Shoe

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Yep - I posted a bunch of such things in the stats thread in QCS. I promise it's not like the rest of QCS.
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3899931

Oh cool I try not to go in there but that is a good thread

dads friend steve
Dec 24, 2004

Huh, check out this post from that buyers sellers thread

User 0 posted:

Seller: NOT_A_VIRUS.EXE
Name of item: Sega Dreamcast w/games
Cost of item: $100
Payment time: PayPalled within hours
Shipping time: the next day
Misc comments: a god among men. PERIOD.
Rating: 5

When I click the users profile it brings up my profile, and their rap sheet just brings up the leper’s colony

shovelbum
Oct 21, 2010

Fun Shoe

dads friend steve posted:

Huh, check out this post from that buyers sellers thread

Yeah it's a loving thrilling thread maybe the mods can dredge up and reopen an older one

Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Dec 22, 2005

GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

dads friend steve posted:

Huh, check out this post from that buyers sellers thread


When I click the users profile it brings up my profile, and their rap sheet just brings up the leper’s colony
Yeah I guess users could be deleted long ago? You're getting your own profile because the post is saved as having userid 0 and looking up profile 0 just shows your own profile.

shovelbum
Oct 21, 2010

Fun Shoe
Oh I didn't catch that it was a bugged user, yeah the old closed threads are like a disintegrating building but it's very rare to see stuff like that in a live thread!

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Yeah I guess users could be deleted long ago? You're getting your own profile because the post is saved as having userid 0 and looking up profile 0 just shows your own profile.

This whole site is like internet archaeology. Who was this not a virus? Legends tell of us the Anasazi,

Schweinhund
Oct 23, 2004

:derp:   :kayak:                                     

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Yep - I posted a bunch of such things in the stats thread in QCS. I promise it's not like the rest of QCS.
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3899931

I was going to credit you but didn't want to lead people to QCS :laugh:

swbm
May 4, 2020

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
Haha a thread just for fat jerks

Edmund Sparkler
Jul 4, 2003
For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

swbm posted:

Haha a thread just for fat jerks

Yeah and you're in it, buddy! Oh wait

Jack-Off Lantern
Mar 2, 2012

I wish I lived in a Country he would ship to.

Horace
Apr 17, 2007

Gone Skiin'

Schweinhund posted:

The oldest active thread is the Buyer/Seller review thread in SA Mart which is from April 2002 https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=140694

You don't need the timestamps to date that thread. $105 for a 1.3mp digital camera, that does it.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

So the dude just mails out bacon to people and they're stunned or what

swbm
May 4, 2020

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
Real stroke of genius this guy had two decades ago when he decided to mail the jerky that was too fatty to dry properly and higenically to goons rather than desposing of it into the trash as is required by health codes.

The Walrus
Jul 9, 2002

by Fluffdaddy
I've gotten really good jerky from this guy but also really dry garbage that despite clearly being originally a better meat is more inedible than oh boy oberto. I don't ever buy it anymore after getting too much bad stuff. not worth shipping to canada.

CannonFodder
Jan 26, 2001

Passion’s Wrench

swbm posted:

Real stroke of genius this guy had two decades ago when he decided to mail the jerky that was too fatty to dry properly and higenically to goons rather than desposing of it into the trash as is required by health codes.
Ngl when I find a piece of fatty jerky in with the lean jerky I savor it. Then again I don't know the level of fat that this seller is providing.

CRIP EATIN BREAD
Jun 24, 2002

Hey stop worrying bout my acting bitch, and worry about your WACK ass music. In the mean time... Eat a hot bowl of Dicks! Ice T



Soiled Meat
i tried the fatty jerky once and it was good

it's not extremely fatty, its just like all the fatty parts of a bag of jerky.

like oops all berries, but jerky

Inept
Jul 8, 2003

lol someone paid $50 for nmp3s.com once. now it just goes to a message in mandarin about an error

quote:

Buyer: Communist
Name of item: Domain Name: nmp3s.com
Cost of item: 50$ US
Shipping Time: INTERNET TIME BEEYOTCH!
Misc comments: Stalker.
Rating: 5+

Coolness Averted
Feb 20, 2007

oh don't worry, I can't smell asparagus piss, it's in my DNA

GO HOGG WILD!
🐗🐗🐗🐗🐗

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Yeah I guess users could be deleted long ago? You're getting your own profile because the post is saved as having userid 0 and looking up profile 0 just shows your own profile.

I remember when that was a common joke link, like "Hey lowtax announced the dumbest poster!" or "crunching the numbers radium found the account with the most posts in pedo anime threads"

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003

there was an amazing fyad thread where someone figured out a way to get the forums to load your facebook profile based off cached credentials, and was like "lol guys check out this loving loser" with it quoted inline

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Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

Schweinhund posted:

I was going to credit you but didn't want to lead people to QCS :laugh:

Yeah but I don’t want all that poo poo bleeding into gbs either

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