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…they have to be a quadruped the entire time they’re on duty. And not on their knees on their feet so downward dog the entire time. they pee like a dog OR cat their choice let’s
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Apr 29, 2021 20:28
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cops can brutalize communities with absolutely no oversight but only with literal nerf darts. no they do not get the multifire ones and no super soakers
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Apr 29, 2021 20:30
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All eunuch police force 
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Apr 29, 2021 20:30
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They aren’t allowed to carry lethal or “less than lethal” weapons
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Apr 29, 2021 20:33
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they can have really fast cars but they're all childsized
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Apr 29, 2021 20:33
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everyone in the country is a cop
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Apr 29, 2021 20:34
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Feline Mind Meld posted:they can have really fast cars but they're all childsized wait so they’re like souped up Shriner cars?
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Apr 29, 2021 20:34
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They have to wear their underwear on the outside
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Apr 29, 2021 20:35
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teen witch posted:wait so they’re like souped up Shriner cars? yes and also the siren is just baby shark on loop so they have to listen to it all day
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Apr 29, 2021 20:36
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Cops more like Butts hehe
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Apr 29, 2021 20:36
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doot doo do doot that's the sound of the police
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Apr 29, 2021 20:37
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Cop but no weapons and you get fired if someone gets 10 signatures on a petition to get rid of you 100 signatures and that's the death sentence, baby
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Apr 29, 2021 20:37
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cops can be cops but they are only allowed to police each other and have to live on an island in the pacific where they cant hurt anyone else
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Apr 29, 2021 20:40
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Guns that shoot icecream and tickets that can be redeemed for cash 
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Apr 29, 2021 20:41
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Police dogs should be the boss and the humans should have to be trained by them We would end up with more good boys and girls
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Apr 29, 2021 20:42
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Cops can't speak either, gotta yell RRARF ARF ARF, RRR if you want me to pull over
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Apr 29, 2021 20:43
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cops can be cops but they always have to be smoking a cigar and when they're asleep someone has to blow cigar smoke in their face. the other person is they spouse or another cop
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Apr 29, 2021 20:43
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make all of them wear those plushi slippers that look like sneakers
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Apr 29, 2021 20:44
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Cops can be cops but they’re locked in a poorly ventilated fursuits and they can only leave when their shift ends BUT ONLY THE HEAD PART
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Apr 29, 2021 20:45
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they can have quotas but instead of tickets for stupid poo poo they have to sell goldbellies or nordvpn or forums certs
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Apr 29, 2021 20:46
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teen witch posted:Cops can be cops but they’re locked in a poorly ventilated fursuits and they can only leave when their shift ends BUT ONLY THE HEAD PART *That have already been used at some kind of gathering What kind? Roll the dice
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Apr 29, 2021 20:46
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they have to power their tasers with cranks that have noisemakers attached to them
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Apr 29, 2021 20:47
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They aren’t all trained by the same fascist dipshit
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Apr 29, 2021 20:48
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Cops can be cops but they are not legally allowed to do anything until they say, "What's all this, then?"
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Apr 29, 2021 20:49
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for every bullet they use they have to take a cold med pill, preferably the night version. the thin blue fourth plateau
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Apr 29, 2021 20:49
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cops can have partners but they all have to be a week from retirement and too old for this poo poo
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Apr 29, 2021 20:49
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They have to live in the community they serve and everyone knows where they live
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Apr 29, 2021 20:50
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Sup Teen Witch.... hows things?
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Apr 29, 2021 20:50
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Cops can be cops but they have to be managed by a small group of local chickens: a coop cop co-op.
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Apr 29, 2021 20:50
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They have guns but the guns have two barrels and one of the barrels is always aimed at the cop’s genitals so they gotta be real fuckin sure they wanna pull that trigger.
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Apr 29, 2021 20:51
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they no longer have qualified immunity and have to obey the laws they are enforcing (no more speeding to Dunkin’, shooting black people for existing, etc)
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Apr 29, 2021 20:53
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cops can have riot gear but it's always covered in lube
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Apr 29, 2021 20:54
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Feline Mind Meld posted:cops can have riot gear but it's always covered in lube 
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Apr 29, 2021 20:55
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OP is a cop
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Apr 29, 2021 20:56
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They have guns but the guns are massive realistic floppy pink dildos with big heads and veins and balls so they get embarrassed when they draw them
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Apr 29, 2021 20:56
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Cops can be cops but their response has to be inversely proportional to the severity of the crime. Oh wai...
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Apr 29, 2021 20:56
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they have to all live on the same tiny island as a reality show
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Apr 29, 2021 20:57
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Cops will be issued a standard issue donut, cup of coffee, and 80s mustache. They must return all three at the end of their careers or no pension.
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Apr 29, 2021 20:57
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cops can be cops but there’s always a tenacious mosquito buzzing around them and they only have a lovely plastic swatter with like a crack in it. if they don’t swat at it every twenty seconds, a new mosquito bite forms. the mosquito never leaves
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Apr 29, 2021 20:57
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| # ? May 31, 2024 17:12 |
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they have to tuck everyone into bed every night with a gentle kiss on the forehead
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Apr 29, 2021 20:57
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