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Granny, that would be Great Great Granny to you young'uns, would cut the chicken feed with chopped green peppers to get the hens layin' again. Seem to happen every late spring when one or two would go broody and the rest would just stop laying eggs in chicken solidarity with their nest-bound sisters. Not sure how Granny, your Great Great Grandmother don't you know, came upon this. Personally, I think she made this discovery while trying to find a shortcut for Denver omelettes. But she swore this worked every time. Those hens wouldn't even notice they were eating the green peppers and, just as reliable as the sun rising in the east or Uncle Greaser finding Ol' Man Toffman's stash of double distilled "tonic," they would start laying eggs again the next day.
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May 21, 2021 18:11
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| # ? May 28, 2024 12:53 |
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two in the pink one in the stink
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May 21, 2021 18:12
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Two in the goo and one in the poo. 
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May 21, 2021 18:14
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If you are out of milk, but you have half-and-half, remember, you can't just dilute it to make regular milk.
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May 21, 2021 18:17
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An apple a day keeps the doctor away... If your throwing arm is any good
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May 21, 2021 18:32
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if it's brown drink it down if it's black send it back hehe remember the simpsons? (:
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May 21, 2021 18:35
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Only roll "rub a dub dub thanks for the grub" if your charisma stat is over 30
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May 21, 2021 18:45
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Ain't nothing on earth a good slap or a good nap can't fix, 'ceptin' if you do both to a bear. Then, sir, *hocks spit*, you got yourself a whole mess of trouble. Twernt the white man that tamed the west. Rather, twer the west that tamed the white man. Not a day goes by I don't regret summoning Blucifer from Hades. A little apple cider vinegar mixed with dishwashin' soap, left in an open container, will help kill flies. If everyone imagined the ninja runnin' man jumping over cows and running up telephone polls when they were kids in the car, then what good are these false borders of country, religion, or morality? Maybe I'm just an old man holding onto a dream that done burnt out. Boilin' water softens a potato but hardens an egg. So if'n you got some bedroom problems, stick a soft tater up yer rear end 'n suck on an egg.
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May 21, 2021 18:51
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To court Success, you must first date her ugly sister.
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May 21, 2021 19:02
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two in the bush is worth one in the tush
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May 21, 2021 19:08
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Knew a guy like you once: always thinkin' on bungholes and slipping his willy out fer any reason. Called him Luke, on account of that's his name. One day, he'd come over and started willytagging and bunghole rattlin'. Well, Grampy Stampy come round the house and saw this whole mess. In one swipe, he'd scythed off this kids peener and threw it into the forest. And that, children, is the story of how the gumbo limbo tree was created.
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May 21, 2021 19:11
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Recollected another story bout livin' in Florida. About seven years ago, we had us a powerful hurricane. I'm heading to the Home Depot to pick up some particle board and supplies. Guy comes to the checkout line with about 100 big packages of paper towels- just carts of the stuff. We ask him what he's doing and he says, "I'm preparing for the storm. Gonna move into this for a while until it blows over." We were all flummoxed, but whatever, to each his own. In the parking lot of the same store a couple of days later, with the storm practically here, we see this small fort made of paper towels. The guy really meant what he said! He decided to live in a paper towel fort on account of how absorbent paper towels are. "The paper towels can hold so much water, and then they just can't absorb more and they are waterproof!" The hurricane passes through a 4 and ends up a 2 by the time it hits the Cafe Risque, which is a famous food joint with a Michelin Star*. We go looking for the guy in the early mornin'. What do you think we saw?! The guy? Nowhere to be seen. The paper towel fort? Soggy but in tact! Later on, we were told that he'd let some water accumulate into a puddle inside the fort; a gator formed in the puddle and bit the guy's right molar and 2/3 of his eyebrows off. The lesson? Treat every body of water in Florida as potentially having an alligator. *Michelin Star, also known as Michelle Starr, on parole until 2025.
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May 21, 2021 19:52
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Reckon it ain’t gonna suck itself
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May 21, 2021 20:32
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If the van's a rockin' I'm loving in there
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May 21, 2021 20:35
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If your whittlin' knife ever gets dull, you can sharpen it yourself. You just rub that sucker in a diagonal fashion a few times gainst a hard surface, like'n a piece of flint, or a metal file, or the leg bones of those teenagers that came down here from the city to swim in the old lake
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May 21, 2021 20:36
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you can make a powerful kitchen cleaner by MIXING bleach and ammonia
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May 21, 2021 20:38
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DarkSoulsTantrum posted:Reckon it ain’t gonna suck itself *blush*
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May 21, 2021 20:39
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make hay while the sun shines because when the sun isn't shining you won't be able to make as much hay then as you would have been able to make if you had made it during the period in which the sun was more shiny than in other times, which aren't as conducive for the making as much hay as when the sun is experiencing conditions of increased shine
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May 21, 2021 20:45
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don't stich a gift watch in the mouth
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May 21, 2021 20:47
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people who live in glass house should fill up the tank when it's at 25% or so, never wait for the meter to read E
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May 21, 2021 20:50
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if you can't take the heat, stay out of the clutches of the mad witch who bakes and eats children
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May 21, 2021 20:52
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Them old woods? *spits* If I was you, I'd steer clear. There's things out there a person can't unsee.
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May 21, 2021 20:55
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If the ground's frozen, just stick him in the snow bank 'til thaw.
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May 21, 2021 20:57
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You can tell how tall the corn will grow by counting the rings on a caterpillar you cut in half
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May 21, 2021 20:58
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hey hey hey ~smoke weed everyday~
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May 21, 2021 20:59
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StarkRavingMad posted:Them old woods? *spits* If I was you, I'd steer clear. There's things out there a person can't unsee. Hey guys!!! I think I know where my grandads forest porn is!!
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May 21, 2021 21:01
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red sky at night, soybean delight. red sky in morn, farmers eat corn
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May 21, 2021 21:02
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if you wanna be happy for the rest of yr life never make a pretty woman yr wife
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May 21, 2021 21:03
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all but the teutonic races are incapable of leadership, and yet they continue to breed like the mongrels they are
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May 21, 2021 21:05
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you can’t keep trouble from coming, but you don’t have to give it a chair to sit on  you can’t always tell by the looks of a toad how far he can jump the world is your cow. but you have to do the milking
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May 21, 2021 21:07
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It was Coney Island, they called Coney Island the playground of the world...There was no place like it, in the whole world, like Coney Island when I was a youngster. No place in the world like it, and it was so fabulous.
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May 21, 2021 21:07
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Don't trouble trouble unless trouble troubles you.
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May 21, 2021 21:10
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if a bullfrog had wings it wouldn't bump his rear end every time he hops
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May 21, 2021 21:10
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even a blind hog finds an acorn every one in a while
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May 21, 2021 21:11
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strangers have the best candy
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May 21, 2021 21:13
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Colonel Cancer posted:It was Coney Island, they called Coney Island the playground of the world...There was no place like it, in the whole world, like Coney Island when I was a youngster. No place in the world like it, and it was so fabulous. Why don't you shut the gently caress up for once in your life and listen?
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May 21, 2021 21:15
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don't want kids? you should just come in her mouth
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May 21, 2021 21:18
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the most powerful force in the universe is compound interest
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May 21, 2021 21:42
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Bien echo!
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May 21, 2021 22:08
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| # ? May 28, 2024 12:53 |
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cum hard. cum often.
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May 21, 2021 22:52
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