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Well folks, we've all seen the posts, we've all seen the jokes. Expensive-rear end cookies from questionable sources, shipped by the finest boys and girls that FedEx can hire. I had ordered these, sort of forgot about them, and now they're here. The cookies that brought down a vBulletin empire. However, I'm going to give a completely unbiased opinion, straight from the mouth (fingers?) of a sane, stable person. So join me on this journey, a journey of flour, chocolate chips, and a whole lot of butter! Let's see what the goldbelly cookie is all about. So here I am, starting out, box unpacked, with the special packaging from Jacque "The Islamic Shock" Torres, a classically trained pastry chef from some part of Europe that uses a funny accent on Netflix shows.  I'll report back as my experience unfolds.
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Jul 2, 2021 02:57
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| # ? May 27, 2024 13:56 |
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it's yer gut that's going to unfold
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Jul 2, 2021 03:02
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Stormfront, LOL!!!!!
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Jul 2, 2021 03:05
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This is the vicarious American Dream I crave so badly.
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Jul 2, 2021 03:07
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Alright, so I've dug into the packaging a bit. It's a lot better packed than I expected. Immediately I smell... sugar. It's not quite what I expected because the cookies themselves seemed to be sealed with some sort of plastic. They have some serious weight to them. Not entirely sure now what to expect, but there's some inspirational quotes on the side of the packaging that indicates these were, indeed, packed with care.
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Jul 2, 2021 03:08
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Anxious to hear about these cookies but why the hell would you use a keyboard with no numpad with a desktop computer.
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Jul 2, 2021 03:08
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William Henry Hairytaint posted:Anxious to hear about these cookies but why the hell would you use a keyboard with no numpad with a desktop computer. numpads just take up precious cookie space
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Jul 2, 2021 03:11
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OP looking forward to your full review, might get some cookies. I had Danny Trejo's tacos in my cart but looks like they sold out 
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Jul 2, 2021 03:11
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I need specs please. Flavours, topping sizeability. All of it. Give me the goods. The cookie goods.
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Jul 2, 2021 03:14
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op did you ever figure out how to gently caress your computer
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Jul 2, 2021 03:15
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SerSpook posted:op did you ever figure out how to gently caress your computer not yet syntaxfunction posted:I need specs please. Flavours, topping sizeability. All of it. Give me the goods. The cookie goods. will do, gotta get them open first
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Jul 2, 2021 03:21
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 god drat! these cookies are huge! They have some serious weight to them, like the seductive, gentle but firm click of a mechanical keyboard. if i were a gambling man I would bet that ol' Jacque Torres is stepping on the package with more baking soda than product! Either way, I have a good feeling about this. With absolutely zero buyer's remorse, a little effort, and another brew, I think I can dig into this and give you all an exclusive inside scoop into what's going on with these.
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Jul 2, 2021 03:26
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The little hole in the back of the desk,where the cords go, I bet you could gently caress that
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Jul 2, 2021 03:45
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Jul 2, 2021 03:47
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syntaxfunction posted:I need specs please. Flavours, topping sizeability. All of it. Give me the goods. The cookie goods.  took them to the cookie lab. 89g each. there's a lot of chocolate.
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Jul 2, 2021 04:14
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They paid you 3 beers for this advertising.
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Jul 2, 2021 04:26
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Shoot the cookies with the gun
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Jul 2, 2021 04:27
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OP while I thoroughly enjoy your scientific rigor in this cookie endeavour is there a way you can prove you are not, in fact, a Lowtax parachute account, attempting to buy your way back in to our good graces by the very method you were forced out with?
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Jul 2, 2021 04:28
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DarkSoulsTantrum posted:Shoot the cookies with the gun this, op. it's the only way to know for sure
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Jul 2, 2021 04:37
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I would absolutely pay like $20 for all those You cruel cruel goon
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Jul 2, 2021 04:39
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Not really but if I was rich
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Jul 2, 2021 04:40
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Half the fun of chocolate chip cookies is pilfering the dough; no dough, no deal.
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Jul 2, 2021 05:27
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DarkSoulsTantrum posted:Shoot the cookies with the gun
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Jul 2, 2021 05:37
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after you shoot the cookies with the gun stab the gun with the knife just to be sure.
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Jul 2, 2021 05:52
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Im eating a cookie from holiday market it is good
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Jul 2, 2021 05:58
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CRIP EATIN BREAD, stop eatin' bread and eat a cookie!
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Jul 2, 2021 07:38
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Because of the wires nearby my brain just assumed the gun on the desk was a lightgun for gaming but it's a real gun lol (or at least a convincing airsoft replica).
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Jul 2, 2021 14:06
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I hope that mag is unloaded
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Jul 2, 2021 14:13
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Jul 2, 2021 14:18
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Wondering if OP's difficulties in completing this project are legal, financial, or gastrointestinal in nature.
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Jul 2, 2021 14:48
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human garbage bag posted:I hope that mag is unloaded It's gonna be, after her dumps it into that loving cookie
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Jul 2, 2021 15:00
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I wanna see a bend test so we get a sense of if they are chewy or crumbly, OP. Give us a photo of a bent cookie!!!
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Jul 2, 2021 15:08
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Goon projects... in theory: Goon tries expensive meme cookies for the joy of onlookers. in practice: Goon chokes on expensive meme cookies and dies.
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Jul 2, 2021 15:11
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I thought we stopped building elaborate traps for forum vermin. Also chocolate chip is way overdone these days, give me a proper home made buttery jam cookie.
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Jul 2, 2021 15:17
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I doubt the cookies can gently caress you up any more than paying attention to Stormfront and Joe Rogan will (For those who don't know, Stormfront is an extremely racist website. Like, "say the quiet part out loud" racist.) Mr. Creakle fucked around with this message at 15:21 on Jul 2, 2021 |
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Jul 2, 2021 15:19
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Aegis Bear posted:I doubt the cookies can gently caress you up any more than paying attention to Stormfront and Joe Rogan will Looks like someone's trying to get added to that posting enemies spreadsheet...
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Jul 2, 2021 16:22
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Well... Its not the balldo trip report but i guess this'll have to do
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Jul 2, 2021 17:47
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can't you all see what's happening here?! op is never gonna eat the cookie!
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Jul 2, 2021 17:51
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The Guy at Odd Side said you asked if you could use their beers in a video and when you said if you could have free beers and it would be good advertising the guy laughed at you and then you paid for the beers.
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Jul 2, 2021 18:06
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| # ? May 27, 2024 13:56 |
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Aegis Bear posted:I doubt the cookies can gently caress you up any more than paying attention to Stormfront and Joe Rogan will 
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Jul 2, 2021 18:14
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