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People are pretty down on a group of the world's elite ruling the world, but I'm cool with it. I don't have to think about my actions or how I'm affecting the planet by constantly setting my farts on fire, because that's the job of those rich idiots! While they have to stress about people not blowing up the planet, I can sit at home and simultaneously play video games and watch pornography. It's nice I can focus on more important tasks, like which flavor Doritos pairs best with a white wine. Plus the chemtrails make me feel healthier than ever, and if I ever get lost in the woods after an intense jacking session, the local authorities can easily find me with the microchip implanted in me. So yeah, I think the hate for the Illuminati is overrated. My life's pretty loving sweet right now, and I want to thank these elite idiots for being more concerned with power than just loving and sucking like other rich people.
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Jul 5, 2021 11:54
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They're a bunch of loosers
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Jul 5, 2021 12:03
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Considering the world is being run by the Illuminati, its not as bad as I thought it would be.
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Jul 5, 2021 12:03
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OP pls post video of you constantly setting your farts on fire, it sounds impressive. King Assripper but with fire!
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Jul 5, 2021 12:23
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If I do that the Illuminati will arrest me for exposing the secrets to immortality, and well, I have a good thing going and don't want to ruin it.
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Jul 5, 2021 12:28
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Mega64 posted:People are pretty down on a group of the world's elite ruling the world, but I'm cool with it. I don't have to think about my actions or how I'm affecting the planet by constantly setting my farts on fire, because that's the job of those rich idiots! While they have to stress about people not blowing up the planet, I can sit at home and simultaneously play video games and watch pornography. It's nice I can focus on more important tasks, like which flavor Doritos pairs best with a white wine. Plus the chemtrails make me feel healthier than ever, and if I ever get lost in the woods after an intense jacking session, the local authorities can easily find me with the microchip implanted in me. The reason that these theories about a deeply hidden secret organization running the world are so popular is because the alternative is that even the people who are actually at the controls are just as fallible and incompetent as any other person. Its comforting to think there is a secret society at the helm when in reality we've got a very tenuous grasp on the controls of a series of increasingly automated, self-perpetuating, and terrifying processes that really don't care about our individual or collective wellbeing. lol
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Jul 5, 2021 12:28
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Poohs Packin posted:The reason that these theories about a deeply hidden secret organization running the world are so popular is because the alternative is that even the people who are actually at the controls are just as fallible and incompetent as any other person. Its comforting to think there is a secret society at the helm when in reality we've got a very tenuous grasp on the controls of a series of increasingly automated, self-perpetuating, and terrifying processes that really don't care about our individual or collective wellbeing. The funny thing is most of these conspiracy people are against the Illuminati and would prefer the world run by idiots. They literally want to make the world worse!
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Jul 5, 2021 12:31
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the big angry infowar man with his head like a beef tomato says it like ILLOOMINAWTAY like that
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Jul 5, 2021 13:14
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The more I read about Illuminati, the more I'm like, how do I join?
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Jul 5, 2021 13:44
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Mega64 posted:The funny thing is most of these conspiracy people are against the Illuminati and would prefer the world run by idiots. They literally want to make the world worse! Well these conspiracy people tend to be rightwing christians and according to the bible, the world has to get really lovely before Jesus comes back and beams them up to heaven, so you can see why they would want to make the world even worse.
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Jul 5, 2021 13:49
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i really wish the illuminati would figure out just what makes kids love cinnamon toast crunch
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Jul 5, 2021 13:55
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Isn't the whole Illuminati thing just complaining about Jews
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Jul 5, 2021 13:56
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This is like that da vinci thing isn't it? I don't even believe in Tom Hanks.
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Jul 5, 2021 14:14
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The illuminati is simultaneously the most powerful omniscient and omnipotent organization since the start of history controlling the world with a select few people pulling all the strings in shadows while also the most incompetent toothless organization that is constantly exposed and outwitted by a bored teenager doing 5 minutes of googling.
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Jul 5, 2021 14:22
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maybe thats what they want you to think so you won't recognize them when they are really pulling the levers 
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Jul 5, 2021 14:23
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Do you salute the back of the dollar bill and say "thank you for your service" out loud? Just wanted to know if you are the real deal.
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Jul 5, 2021 14:28
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I prefer Cuminyourmouthi.
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Jul 5, 2021 14:29
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they're pretty good but really the Illuminutti are the ones who really keep things moving
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Jul 5, 2021 14:30
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Yaldabaoth posted:Well these conspiracy people tend to be rightwing christians and according to the bible, the world has to get really lovely before Jesus comes back and beams them up to heaven, so you can see why they would want to make the world even worse. The cowardly Jesus doesn't even come back, he just does the beaming up to heaven remotely. The strong and cool Satan, however, does come back, and personally invites you to Hell where you can dance around fire at any time, gently caress anyone you'd like (with consent, Satan and his associated demons understand the concept), eat whatever the heck you want, piss and poo poo wherever (the inferno will manage it eventually), and say as many swear words as you can.
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Jul 5, 2021 14:31
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The illimisuckifucki
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Jul 5, 2021 14:36
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I just don't like the secrecy. We all know the world is being ran by an elite group of rich pedos, they should just be honest about it already.
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Jul 5, 2021 14:38
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Got bars son, be havin bars 4 da hood dawg. Suckin illuminati dick and frontin like a bitch.
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Jul 5, 2021 14:49
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everyone knows illuminati parties have the best molly
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Jul 5, 2021 15:01
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Mooey Cow posted:The more I read about Illuminati, the more I'm like, how do I join? Don’t contact us; we’ll contact you
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Jul 5, 2021 15:31
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Yaldabaoth posted:Well these conspiracy people tend to be rightwing christians and according to the bible, the world has to get really lovely before Jesus comes back and beams them up to heaven, so you can see why they would want to make the world even worse. You'd think trying to make the mortal world worse would get you sent to hell, but I guess that's why I'm an Illuminati lover.
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Jul 5, 2021 15:36
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it would actually be reassuring to think there is some powerful organized group of people capable of running the world even if they were morally questionable because they would at least be competent the reality is scarier, no one is in charge and no one really knows what the gently caress is going on
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Jul 5, 2021 16:34
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naem posted:it would actually be reassuring to think there is some powerful organized group of people capable of running the world even if they were morally questionable because they would at least be competent I'm in charge and know exactly what's going on. It's not good news though.
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Jul 5, 2021 16:40
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OMFG FURRY posted:everyone knows illuminati parties have the best molly God yeah have you seen eyes wide shut? Them chicks is bangin and UNDER CONTROL! 
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Jul 5, 2021 16:55
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Mega64 posted:You'd think trying to make the mortal world worse would get you sent to hell, but I guess that's why I'm an Illuminati lover. Christianity is an ascetic religion that says indulging in material pleasures is a sin because it distracts you from worshipping God, so it's thematically consistent that the christian god's ultimate plan is to burn down the material world and just beam the souls of his most pure worshippers up to heaven directly.
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Jul 5, 2021 16:58
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It was sort of liberating when I realized that everyone running anything anywhere is an idiot who doesn't know what they're doing
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Jul 5, 2021 17:00
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The days of the Alluminatium are numbered as Donald Trump has begun the final phase of the Plan and his agents are preparing to Close the Circle as we speak. Hillary Clinton and Bill Gates have already been captured and are awaiting trial in the depths of the Sanctum. Joe Biden died years ago but his clone is wily and has so far evaded Trump’s personal efforts to deactivate him.
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Jul 5, 2021 22:38
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Someone once told me George Soros funded BLM and thought "So does that make him good now?" Typical philanthropist, just wants to put his name on something. 
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Jul 5, 2021 23:27
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Lucius DeBeers says he's cold.
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Jul 5, 2021 23:45
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phasmid posted:Someone once told me George Soros funded BLM and thought "So does that make him good now?" I don't know how George Soros gets it all done considering how many conspiracies he's single-handedly responsible for.
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Jul 6, 2021 00:19
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DarkSoulsTantrum posted:The days of the Alluminatium are numbered as Donald Trump has begun the final phase of the Plan and his agents are preparing to Close the Circle as we speak... *Wraps alluminatium foil around my braincase*
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Jul 6, 2021 01:11
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Mega64 posted:People are pretty down on a group of the world's elite ruling the world, but I'm cool with it. I don't have to think about my actions or how I'm affecting the planet by constantly setting my farts on fire, because that's the job of those rich idiots! While they have to stress about people not blowing up the planet, I can sit at home and simultaneously play video games and watch pornography. It's nice I can focus on more important tasks, like which flavor Doritos pairs best with a white wine. Plus the chemtrails make me feel healthier than ever, and if I ever get lost in the woods after an intense jacking session, the local authorities can easily find me with the microchip implanted in me. It's not cool ranch and chardonnay. 
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Jul 6, 2021 01:36
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Jul 6, 2021 01:39
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Seems like a lot of work with little tangible gain. If you’re already megarich, why bother running the world?
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Jul 6, 2021 01:49
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I think you’re supposed to bake it into a pie first?
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Jul 6, 2021 01:59
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:Isn't the whole Illuminati thing just complaining about Jews To a large extent, yeah. The Protocols of the Elders of Zion are a frequent thread in these conspiracy theories for a reason.
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Jul 6, 2021 02:52
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