Post things that aren't COVID

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Post things that aren't COVID

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

We hear in the news a lot about COVID this and COVID that

This is a thread to post about things that are NOT COVID

If you post about COVID in this thread you'll be punished!

LeBron James is not COVID

The bubonic plague is not COVID

Pokimane with or without makeup is not COVID

Post things that are NOT COVID itt

# ? Dec 30, 2021 03:36

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# ? May 27, 2024 04:13

Harald: Jul 10, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

I like to put newt eggs in my water before bed,

Harvard scientists have confirmed that this is a good idea

waiting for the pounds to just melt away

# ? Dec 30, 2021 03:38

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Harald posted:

I like to put newt eggs in my water before bed,

Harvard scientists have confirmed that this is a good idea

waiting for the pounds to just melt away

confirmed not COVID, carry on friend

# ? Dec 30, 2021 03:39

Dignity Van Houten: Jul 28, 2006; abcdefghijk
ELLAMENNO-P

# ? Dec 30, 2021 03:44

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Dignity Van Houten posted:

Ah hello Mr Finkleton your table is WAIT A MINUTE THIS IS COVID IN DISGUISE :mad:

# ? Dec 30, 2021 03:46

Zamboni Rodeo: Jul 19, 2007; NEVER play "Lady of Spain" AGAIN!

Corvids are not COVID. Corvids are cool and good. COVID is not. Please do not confuse the two.

# ? Dec 30, 2021 03:52

Bad Purchase: Jun 17, 2019

edit: damnit, an early bird already got the worm on this one

# ? Dec 30, 2021 03:52

Parahexavoctal: Oct 10, 2004; I AM NOT BEING PAID TO CORRECT OTHER PEOPLE'S POSTS! DONKEY!!

this is not COVID

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Dec 30, 2021 03:55

Harald: Jul 10, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

so, anyone else doing this newt egg thing? I assume it also works with eggs from other amphibians.

# ? Dec 30, 2021 03:57

let it mellow: Jun 1, 2000; Dinosaur Gum

Doobies Dog House

# ? Dec 30, 2021 03:58

Derpies: Mar 11, 2014; by sebmojo

These British butt plugs are not COVID

# ? Dec 30, 2021 04:03

Saalkin: Jun 29, 2008

# ? Dec 30, 2021 04:06

The Bloop: Jul 5, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

Dignity Van Houten posted:

# ? Dec 30, 2021 04:15

Xaintrailles: Aug 14, 2015

SARS-CoV-1

# ? Dec 30, 2021 04:55

neato burrito: Aug 25, 2002; bitch better have my chex mix

The Hensel twins driving a.... motorcycle? Is not COVID.

# ? Dec 30, 2021 05:14

Weka: May 5, 2019; That child totally had it coming. Nobody should be able to be out at dusk except cars.

Parahexavoctal posted:

this is not COVID

Came here to post...

Either she was foul, or her attire was bad,
Or she was not the wench I wished t�have had.
Idly I lay with her, as if I loved not,
And like a burden grieved the bed that moved not.
Yet though both of us performed our true intent,
Yet I could not cast anchor where I meant.
She on my neck her ivory arms did throw,
Her arms far whiter than the Scythian snow.
And eagerly she kissed me with her tongue,
And under mine her wanton thigh she flung.
Yea, and she soothed me up and called me sir,
And used all speech that might provoke and stir.
Yet, like as if cold hemlock I had drunk,
It mock�d me, hung down the head, and sunk.
Like a dull cipher or rude block I lay,
Or shade or body was I, who can say?
What will my age do, age I cannot shun,
When in my prime my force is spent and done?
I blush, that being youthful, hot and lusty,
I prove neither youth nor man, but old and rusty.
Pure rose she, like a nun to sacrifice,
Or one that with her tender brother lies.
Yet boarded I the golden Chie twice,
And Libas, and the white-cheeked Pitho thrice.
Corinna craved it in a summer�s night,
And nine sweet bouts we had before daylight.
What, waste my limbs through some Thessalian charms?
May spells and drugs do silly souls such harm?
With virgin wax hath some imbaste my joints
And pierced my liver with sharp needles� points?
Charms change corn to grass and make it die.
By charms are running spring and fountains dry.
By charms mast crops from oaks, from vines grapes fall,
And fruit from trees when there�s no wind at all.
Why might not then my sinews be enchanted,
And I grow faint, as with some spirit haunted?
To this add shame: shame to perform it quailed me
And was the second cause why vigour failed me.
My idle thoughts delighted her no more
Than did the robe or garment which she wore.
Yet might her touch make youthful Pylius fire
And Tithon livelier than his years require.
Even her I had, and she had me in vain;
What might I crave more if I asked again?
I think the great gods grieved they had bestowed
The benefit which lewdly I for-slowed.
I wished to be received in. In I get me
To kiss. I kiss. To lie with her, she let me.
Why was I blessed? Why made king to refuse it?
Chuff-like had I not gold and could not use it?
So in a spring thrives he that told so much,
And looks upon the fruits he cannot touch.
Hath any rose so from a fresh young maid,
As she might straight have gone to church and prayed?
Well I believe she kissed not as she should,
Nor used the sleight and cunning which she could.
Huge oaks, hard adamants might she have moved,
And with sweet words cause deaf rocks to have loved.
Worthy she was to move both gods and men,
But neither was I man, nor lived then.
Can deaf ear take delight when Phaemius sings?
Or Thamiras in curious painted things?
What sweet thought is there but I had the same?
And one gave place still as another came.
Yet, notwithstanding, like one dead it lay,
Drooping more than a rose pulled yesterday.
Now, when he should not jet, he bolts upright
And craves his task, and seeks to be at fight.
Lie down with shame, and see thou stir no more,
Seeing thou wouldst deceive me as before.
Thou cozenest me, by thee surprised am I,
And bide sore loss with endless infamy.
Nay more, the wench did not disdain a whit
To take it in her hand and play with it.
But when she saw it would by no means stand,
But still drooped down, regarding not her hand,
�Why mockst thou me?� she cried. �Or, being ill,
Who bade thee lie down here against thy will?
Either thou art witch, with blood of frogs new dead,
Or jaded camest thou from some other bed.�
With that, her loose gown on, from me she cast her �
In skipping out her naked feet much graced her.
And, lest her maid should know of this disgrace,
To cover it, spilt water on the place.

# ? Dec 30, 2021 05:26

Aishlinn: Mar 31, 2011; This might hurt a bit..

For twelve years you've been asking "Who is John Galt?" This is John Galt speaking. I'm
the man who's taken away your victims and thus destroyed your world. You've heard it
said that this is an age of moral crisis and that Man's sins are destroying the world. But
your chief virtue has been sacrifice, and you've demanded more sacrifices at every
disaster. You've sacrificed justice to mercy and happiness to duty. So why should you be
afraid of the world around you?
Your world is only the product of your sacrifices. While you were dragging the men who
made your happiness possible to your sacrificial altars, I beat you to it. I reached them
first and told them about the game you were playing and where it would take them. I
explained the consequences of your 'brother-love' morality, which they had been too
innocently generous to understand. You won't find them now, when you need them more
than ever.
We're on strike against your creed of unearned rewards and unrewarded duties. If you
want to know how I made them quit, I told them exactly what I'm telling you tonight. I
taught them the morality of Reason -- that it was right to pursue one's own happiness as
one's principal goal in life. I don't consider the pleasure of others my goal in life, nor do I
consider my pleasure the goal of anyone else's life.
I am a trader. I earn what I get in trade for what I produce. I ask for nothing more or
nothing less than what I earn. That is justice. I don't force anyone to trade with me; I only
trade for mutual benefit. Force is the great evil that has no place in a rational world. One
may never force another human to act against his/her judgment. If you deny a man's right
to Reason, you must also deny your right to your own judgment. Yet you have allowed
your world to be run by means of force, by men who claim that fear and joy are equal
incentives, but that fear and force are more practical.
You've allowed such men to occupy positions of power in your world by preaching that
all men are evil from the moment they're born. When men believe this, they see nothing
wrong in acting in any way they please. The name of this absurdity is 'original sin'. That's
impossible. That which is outside the possibility of choice is also outside the province of
morality. To call sin that which is outside man's choice is a mockery of justice. To say
that men are born with a free will but with a tendency toward evil is ridiculous. If the
tendency is one of choice, it doesn't come at birth. If it is not a tendency of choice, then
man's will is not free.
And then there's your 'brother-love' morality

etc, etc.

# ? Dec 30, 2021 06:29