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This morning I had surgery for the first time in my life. It was to fix a hosed up eyelid and it was just under local anaesthetic so it wasn't a big crazy surgery or anything. Though it was very strange to be lying down with my eyes closed while a couple of surgeons sliced and diced my eyelid. They had to keep using more anaesthetic because my kick rear end body was making it wear off super quick. They put in these crazy stitches that will dissolve on their own and I thought, "woah, that's some pretty rad med tech, I didn't know that was a thing". Overall it was pretty good though, was in and out of the hospital in about 3 hours total and it cost me no money because of the NHS, which is cool because I'm poor. Goons, share your surgeries, gnarliest one wins. I'm sure some of you have had your balls moved to your knees or had extra posting fingers added. Thanks for reading my post. 
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Apr 11, 2022 12:48
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| # ? May 28, 2024 00:23 |
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the only surgery I've had was getting my wisdom teeth removed. I started waking up part way through and listened to the surgeons talk about vacation homes for a while. I thought "yep, this all checks out"
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Apr 11, 2022 12:52
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I work at the dick sucking factory so I had a 69 hour procedure done to give me a second mouth
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Apr 11, 2022 12:53
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I always get my teeth taken out under general. I had a tooth removal that took 45minutes once. Feels good really, its the tooth being killed after causing you pain. I had my chin sewn back up after having a bike accident and it flopping down like a small chin tongue. They spilled some kind of antiseptic in my eye during it.
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Apr 11, 2022 12:54
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had my adenoids removed but still have my tonsils and whatever that thing with my ear drum??? iunno had to wear ear plugs when i went to the beach/swimming thats about it
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Apr 11, 2022 12:57
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i had my appendix removed, due to it being diseased and unwholesome
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Apr 11, 2022 12:58
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General for a basic taint realignment
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Apr 11, 2022 12:59
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Big Beef City posted:I work at the dick sucking factory so I had a 69 hour procedure done to give me a second mouth will have to look into this, would be great to suck dick and eat pies at the same time
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Apr 11, 2022 13:00
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Big Beef City posted:General for a basic taint realignment I was drifting left by around 1.5 meters per month, its hard to even notice at first.
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Apr 11, 2022 13:01
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They did surgery on a grape
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Apr 11, 2022 13:07
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They did surgery on my gape.
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Apr 11, 2022 13:10
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Facial reconstruction surgery on my sack
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Apr 11, 2022 13:17
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BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:They did surgery on my gape. to make it bigger i hope? getting your gape reduced would be an insult to the goatman imo
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Apr 11, 2022 13:18
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Panic! At The Tesco posted:to make it bigger i hope? getting your gape reduced would be an insult to the goatman imo They replaced my o-ring with a hula hoop.
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Apr 11, 2022 13:22
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Ingrown toenail removal on my big toe when I was a teenager. Shot twice in the toe (one directly underneath the toenail  ) with Novocain, then sprayed vigorously with anesthetic cold spray to numb the area even more before I watched the doctor start cutting into half my toenail with surgical scissors. Even with two shots of Novocain and the numbing spray, I could still feel the scissors slice right through the sensitive flesh underneath the toenail and half my toenail being ripped from it 
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Apr 11, 2022 13:22
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Big Beef City posted:Facial reconstruction surgery on my sack 
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Apr 11, 2022 13:24
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You Are A Elf posted:Ingrown toenail removal on my big toe when I was a teenager. Shot twice in the toe (one directly underneath the toenail that sounds grim. i think having to have my eyes closed help as i couldn't see what they were actually doing. even with the numbing and anaesthetic i could still hear and feel the little "snip snip snip" as they cut into my eyelid, though it didn't hurt
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Apr 11, 2022 13:30
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Broke the radius and ulna in my left arm. They originally were going add in some cool metal bits or something, but after slicing me open opted to let the bones fuse back together. Sadly, no titanium robo wanking  I'm currently undergoing an assessment for potential knee surgery, but it's with the NHS too and it's been about 12 months since they told me they'd rearrange an appointment and I'm happy to ignore it.
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Apr 11, 2022 13:36
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Ulna is the mannish woman from Golden Girls.
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Apr 11, 2022 13:38
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Ratjaculation posted:
yeah the wait is a bit of a pisser isn't it. took me about a year and a half to get my appointment. had to pluck half my eyelashes every week or so as they were poking me in the eye, so i couldn't really ignore it.
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Apr 11, 2022 13:46
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just had my third shoulder surgery last month. two bankart repairs and now a latarjet procedure. good news is that once i'm fully recovered i can go back to doing all the fun stuff i like to do without watering anything down, and now have a much lower chance of dislocation than before. bad news is i'm definitely going to have arthritis at some point in my life
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Apr 11, 2022 18:00
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I had a mole taken out and the doctor was cutting and he hit a spot that caused a hell of a lot of pain and then he was like "huh, that's where I put the most Novocaine." Suffice to say I have a wicked scar now I also had hernia surgery years ago but all I remember is counting down and then waking up in recovery. Also after my wisdom teeth were taken out I was trying to convince my mom I was fine to drive and apparently talked the whole way home but I don't remember that at all
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Apr 11, 2022 18:03
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Do surgeons ever tell patients it's their first time doing it? Or is it like sex and they pretend that watching all the videos and reading a bunch of stuff gave them enough knowledge to just wing it?
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Apr 11, 2022 18:03
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just had a colonoscopy and lemme tell you I can see why michael jackson liked his propofol
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Apr 11, 2022 18:04
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SLICK GOKU BABY posted:Do surgeons ever tell patients it's their first time doing it? Or is it like sex and they pretend that watching all the videos and reading a bunch of stuff gave them enough knowledge to just wing it? I assume it's like a tattoo apprenticeship where they have to practice on some oranges first
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Apr 11, 2022 18:05
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If a physician make a large incision with the operating knife, and kill him, or open a tumor with the operating knife, and cut out the eye, his hands shall be cut off.
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Apr 11, 2022 18:07
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not scalpel and going under surgery, but after i popped my shoulder out of its socket due to a seizure they popped it back in while i was awake and on some heavy pain meds. i was so out of it that i was honestly having the time of my life meanwhile my wife in the room with me said she had nightmares for a few days of the sounds my shoulder made while they did it
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Apr 11, 2022 18:08
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when i woke up from shoulder surgery the first thing i asked the doctor was 'was there actually a problem?' and when he said yes i said 'good, so it wasn't just all in my head' (it was a torn rotator cuff with bone fragments and poo poo) then my coworker came over to pick me up and i told the nurse we weren't married -_-;
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Apr 11, 2022 18:08
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Black market scrotal extension.
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Apr 11, 2022 18:10
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Mozi posted:when i woke up from shoulder surgery the first thing i asked the doctor was 'was there actually a problem?' and when he said yes i said 'good, so it wasn't just all in my head' (it was a torn rotator cuff with bone fragments and poo poo) are you married now, though? Or are you still just a slut.?
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Apr 11, 2022 18:11
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my sexual status is much like my surgically repaired shoulder - mostly uninhibited!
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Apr 11, 2022 18:12
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nice
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Apr 11, 2022 18:12
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I had my chakras realigned. The perineum needed a LOT of work but hey that’s the root man!
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Apr 11, 2022 18:18
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I got my wisdom teeth removed under local anesthetic and it was pretty strange feeling (and hearing) things being scraped and broken but not feeling any pain. My gnarliest surgery was a jaw surgery and while the recovery was a bitch in the first couple weeks, I think the worst was just after I woke up from it. I had to manually breathe for what felt like hours because otherwise my body wouldn't breathe by itself, and if I went too long without breathing (because it's surprisingly tiring to have to breathe) an alarm started pinging and a nurse had to remind me to keep breathing. It went on for what it felt days but I'm sure it was just a few hours at most.
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Apr 11, 2022 18:21
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2 sigmoid colectomies ama
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Apr 11, 2022 18:22
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Buce posted:are you married now, though? Or are you still just a slut.? Yes, but the price of handjobs went up quite a bit!
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Apr 11, 2022 18:22
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SLICK GOKU BABY posted:Yes, but the price of handjobs went up quite a bit! $350
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Apr 11, 2022 18:23
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Had a literal and figurative shitload of intestines removed. Bowel obstruction between the size of a baseball and softball that would have killed me in less than two weeks had it not been taken care of. They found cancer and were nice enough to give me a colostomy. 9 months later had my intestines put back together and poo poo myself for the next 5 days because my sphincter hadn't had a work out the whole time.
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Apr 11, 2022 18:36
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Penis reduction because I kept almost dying from the massive amount of blood redirection needed to maintain my boner.
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Apr 11, 2022 18:42
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| # ? May 28, 2024 00:23 |
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they had to cut my rear end open to remove the growing number of anime figures inside (i go for gallbladder surgery sometime soon)
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Apr 11, 2022 18:45
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