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Like he dishonored himself or whatever, and they were like "sorry man you gotta seppuku" and he was like "yeah....the only problem is I can't remember where I put my sword. I think it's in the other dojo. I'll go check" and then he just books it and runs off. That's probably what I would do.
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Apr 29, 2022 19:36
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Katanas were made of such shoddy iron I bet if samurais did a proper ab workout instead of raping and murdering peasants they'd just break the blade off with their glistening rock hard abs! It's like being hanged, if the rope breaks you get to go free
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Apr 29, 2022 19:46
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Apr 29, 2022 19:51
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veni veni veni posted:Like he dishonored himself or whatever, and they were like "sorry man you gotta seppuku" and he was like "yeah....the only problem is I can't remember where I put my sword. I think it's in the other dojo. I'll go check" and then he just books it and runs off. That's probably what I would do. Maybe the really "bad" samurai made that up to get the "noble" losers out of the way
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Apr 29, 2022 19:52
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Why would they want to get out of twenty dudes busting on their face?
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Apr 29, 2022 19:55
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That's harakake
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Apr 29, 2022 20:00
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Wear a loose kimono, tie a bag animal guts to your abdomen, "gut" it, and refuse the mercy decapitation because you want to die with honor. Then when they have your funeral rise up like a samurai ghost. loving legend.
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Apr 29, 2022 20:05
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Sepukku ended up literally just being an execution method. You went along with it so the government didn't gently caress up your family too.
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Apr 29, 2022 20:07
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Colonel Cancer posted:That's harakake The crappy bar sing-along thing? I dunno why a samurai would do that but I guess if they need to atone...
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Apr 29, 2022 20:11
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You think you could barter down? Like you got caught getting pegged by the daimos daughter and you're like 'ok sure dishonor whatever what if I just cut one of my feet off?" I mean those are pretty important.
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Apr 29, 2022 20:13
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no 武士 would be so 不名誉 OP
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Apr 29, 2022 20:15
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have you seen harakiri? the guy tries to get out of seppuku by bringing a wooden sword and the dudes are like oh well guess u better use that wooden sword and he's like bruh and they're like we don't got all day and then his dad finds out and kills everybody. it loving rules
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Apr 29, 2022 20:33
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If a samurai had a colostomy bag they could probably get away with just cutting it open imo
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Apr 29, 2022 20:34
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I go to seppuku myself and a little flag pops out of the other end of my body that says "bang!" on it.
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Apr 29, 2022 20:37
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I don’t know if this is actually in any plays or whatever but I’ve definitely seen a kabuki play where one of the main scenes is someone having a conversation with a dude who’s in the middle of committing seppuku. Sword sticking halfway out of the gut and everything, the dying dude is sobbing and wailing like he’s already a ghost. I’m not 100% sure how old that play is but if it was being performed when there were active samurai I can definitely see one of them heading home from a performance of that and coming up with a seppuku escape plan.
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Apr 29, 2022 20:41
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bossy lady posted:I go to seppuku myself and a little flag pops out of the other end of my body that says "bang!" on it. i've seen this magicians secret revealed. the flag is kept up the bum, and with practiced use of the bumhole muscles you make the flag pop out at the right time.
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Apr 29, 2022 20:42
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Stabbing yourself in the gut is the drat dumbest idea of honor I've ever heard.
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Apr 29, 2022 20:47
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i bet there was a whole thing of like, people who would tell you how to stab yourself in the gut and "only" mess up your guts real bad but leave you basically alive and pooping in an ancient colostomy bag or whatever "its gonna be fine man just remember 3 inches left of the belly button, my cousin bob hazumatso did it and he's fine"
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Apr 29, 2022 20:48
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why would you seppuku yourself instead of just joining a monastery or changing your name and moving to alaska? seems pretty fuckin dumb to me
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Apr 29, 2022 20:50
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honorless pos posting itt. ive done seppukku before, not a big deal if you're not a subhuman chunk of trash
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Apr 29, 2022 20:52
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Buce posted:why would you seppuku yourself instead of just joining a monastery or changing your name and moving to alaska? seems pretty fuckin dumb to me lmao how the gently caress is seppuku real bro hahaha like just walk away from the duel
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Apr 29, 2022 20:54
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Yes, OP. This is why ronin were very common and also why they were dangerous and badass. When confronted, they would probably say something like "honour? that's a pretty word." And then they were cut down like twenty of the samurai cops trying to arrest them. Source: none, just my logic and knowledge of animes and videogames.
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Apr 29, 2022 21:12
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Ok daimio if you don't shut up I'm taking the sword back out and going home!
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Apr 29, 2022 21:19
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kntfkr posted:have you seen harakiri? the guy tries to get out of seppuku by bringing a wooden sword and the dudes are like oh well guess u better use that wooden sword and he's like bruh and they're like we don't got all day and then his dad finds out and kills everybody. it loving rules Movie is extremely tight and it’s a remake. The old version is just as good too
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Apr 29, 2022 21:20
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Das Boo posted:Stabbing yourself in the gut is the drat dumbest idea of honor I've ever heard. A lot of this poo poo was never about honor, it was about the upper classes coming up with sadistic ways to punish people who pissed them off. Then again, samurai were huge shits too, so gently caress 'em.
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Apr 29, 2022 21:28
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I don't see why they would. It's a huge buff to your bleed damage for relatively little damage to yourself. The only real downside is that the animation for it is quite long.
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Apr 29, 2022 21:35
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BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:Why would they want to get out of twenty dudes busting on their face?
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Apr 29, 2022 21:36
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I bet you could make big bucks selling theatrical collapsible katanas in imperial japan
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Apr 29, 2022 21:38
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numberoneposter posted:your thinking of sudoku Nah, it's that condiment with seaweed in it that you sprinkle on rice.
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Apr 29, 2022 22:10
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I wonder if any of them ever just slid the blade between their arm and their side and played dead.
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Apr 29, 2022 22:12
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If sudoku was such a workplace hazard they should have replaced all katanas with golfclubs
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Apr 29, 2022 22:13
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feedmegin posted:Sepukku ended up literally just being an execution method. You went along with it so the government didn't gently caress up your family too. I always wondered why you’d go along with the whole seppuku thing but this makes sense
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Apr 29, 2022 22:32
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i would do it, but only if it was a double sided katana and i could ride it with a friend
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Apr 29, 2022 22:34
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Bad Purchase posted:i would do it, but only if it was a double sided katana and i could ride it with a friend  Even got a flared guard, for safety
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Apr 29, 2022 22:37
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Fun fact, if you're the last one to commit seppuku, you don't have to do it.
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Apr 29, 2022 22:39
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Infamous samurai college game, soggy katana
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Apr 29, 2022 22:41
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LuckyCat posted:I wonder if any of them ever just slid the blade between their arm and their side and played dead. 
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Apr 29, 2022 22:54
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kntfkr posted:have you seen harakiri? the guy tries to get out of seppuku by bringing a wooden sword and the dudes are like oh well guess u better use that wooden sword and he's like bruh and they're like we don't got all day and then his dad finds out and kills everybody. it loving rules yes and 
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Apr 29, 2022 23:13
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Ichabod Tane posted:Movie is extremely tight and it’s a remake. The old version is just as good too Yeah, I came into the thread to bring up that movie too. I watched the old one, like, 5 years ago and it was great. If I remember right, there was a scam where you go up to some rich lord's manor and say, "Yo, I'm looking for a good place to kill myself. Can I use your courtyard?" Then because of superstitions about someone committing suicide in their house, the lord pays you to gently caress off. Works great until you run into the dude that calls your bluff. Gotta imagine that's when the topic of the thread comes up.
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Apr 29, 2022 23:16
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Sorry sir, but you’re problems are twofold. First off, this is a bojangles drive thru, second we only have plastic butter knives so this is going to take quite a while. 
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Apr 30, 2022 00:29
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