NFC North 2024: May Thy Balls Chip And Shatter

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MJeff: Jun 2, 2011; THE LIAR

With the draft come and gone, we're officially closed the book on 2023 and are into 2024. Over the past year, the theme in the NFC North has been changed. Besides a brand new first-time champion, a lot of the faces of the division look very different from a few years ago, a theme that shows no sign of stopping in 2024. In this new NFC North, who will stand atop the rest? Here are the four teams that will compete once more for the North.

2023 NFC North Champion Detroit Lions: 12-5, eliminated in the NFC Championship Game by San Francisco

The Lions had their most successful season ever, or at least in several decades. They not only won the division and qualified for the playoffs but made one of very few serious runs at a Super Bowl in franchise history, winning two playoff games. They fought valiantly, defeating several elite opponents with skill and valor before they were overwhelmed by San Francisco's superior arsenal. But they may yet return, with new silver uniforms to boot. That's not true, their new uniforms are black this year. But they added a bunch of corners, so hopefully their defense will suck a little less.
Outlook for 2024: Super Bowl or Bust

2023 NFC North Wild Card Green Bay Packers: 9-8, eliminated in NFC Divisional Round by San Francisco

What was expected to be a rebuild year started rocky, then ended in unexpected success, a wild card birth and a hilarious drubbing of the Cowboys at home. Jordan Love stumbled, but the more time passed, the more he fit into the role. Before long, every action he took made his followers more and more certain that he was the one. The Packers fell short of the Super Bowl, but rest assured they will go to war for their leader this year. People believe in Jordan Love, and faith is a very powerful thing. Also they might've added the best RB in the league or something.
Outlook for 2024: Compete for the division

2023 NFC North Participant Minnesota Vikings: 7-10, did not qualify

A rocky year of turmoil and injury ended in a forced period of transition for the Vikings. Kirk Cousins missed the second half of the year and then due to possible subterfuge from other parties, left Minnesota to sign with another team, forcing Minnesota to thread the needle of developing a rookie QB while also managing the rest of Justin Jefferson's prime. The Vikings are disciplined and well-coached, but they're likely not looking to contend this year. The only judge of their change will be time. At the end of the day, the Vikings serve only one master and its name is SKOL.
Outlook for 2024: Don't piss off Justin Jefferson.

2023 NFC North Bystander Chicago Bears: 7-10, did not qualify

The Bears had only one goal in 2023 and that was to figure out if Justin Fields was the guy and.....ehhhhhhh.....? The most we figured out was "he's not the guy in Chicago right now". And in return for giving up on Justin Fields, the Bears have discovered their own atomic arsenal - Caleb Williams, DJ Moore, Keenan Allen and Rome Odunze, manned by new OC Shane Waldron. Can the Bears ascend with something they've never had - a high-powered offense run by a top-tier QB, or will they simply die in the dark once more? If it's the latter, at least they'll be doing it in a fancy new dome.
Outlook for 2024: Don't ruin Caleb Williams.

MJeff fucked around with this message at 03:43 on Apr 30, 2024

# ? Apr 30, 2024 01:44

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 4, 2024 18:08

Digital Jedi: May 28, 2007; Fallen Rib

Da Bears

# ? Apr 30, 2024 01:53

Cognac McCarthy: Oct 5, 2008; It's a man's game, but boys will play

Missed opportunity to make the Packers the Harkonnens, imo

# ? Apr 30, 2024 01:59

Gonz: Dec 22, 2009; "Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"

# ? Apr 30, 2024 02:03

Sataere: Jul 20, 2005; Step 1: Start fight
Step 2: Attack straw man
Step 3: REPEAT

Do not engage with me

I respect your restraint in not making anyone Paul Atredies

# ? Apr 30, 2024 02:23

Gonz: Dec 22, 2009; "Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"

�May Thy Kneecaps Chip And Shatter� was right there.

Still though, a good new thread.

# ? Apr 30, 2024 02:24

trevorreznik: Apr 22, 2023

Predictions:
Lions go 13-4, win division, lose Superbowl to Mahomes
Bears split with both packers and lions, go 10-7. Lose wild card game to eagles
Packers go 10-7, finish third due to tiebreakers, lose wildcard to 49ers
Vikings have one of their worst years ever, winless in division, go 4-13, draft top 3

# ? Apr 30, 2024 02:36

surf rock: Aug 12, 2007; We need more women in STEM, and by that, I mean skateboarding, television, esports, and magic.

Great OP concept, although I'd consider Feyd-Rautha for Chicago instead.

# ? Apr 30, 2024 03:07

fartknocker: Oct 28, 2012; Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.; Wedge Regret

This needs to be in the OP use during the season:

# ? Apr 30, 2024 03:18

Gonz: Dec 22, 2009; "Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"

https://x.com/nflfilms/status/1783910900597940485?s=46&t=GxZoSKgPzb_-zyUnvLFKvg

# ? Apr 30, 2024 03:20

Gonz: Dec 22, 2009; "Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"

fartknocker posted:

This needs to be in the OP use during the season:

This GIF is so good; we need somone to update it with Jordan Love, JJ or Caleb.

# ? Apr 30, 2024 03:21

tinstaach: Aug 3, 2010; MAGNetic AttITUDE

I gotta say I enjoyed telling people I was a Lions fan with pride in my voice for the first time in my life last year. I hope they can continue meeting expectations in a season where the expectations are literally "go to an win the Super Bowl".

Something that struck me after the draft is that this has to be Aaron Glenn's last go-round with the team. With massive investments in the defensive line and secondary, he's got everything he needs to command at least a league-average defense, and he's going to end the season either as one of the hottest head coaching prospects in the league or as a midseason firing.

# ? Apr 30, 2024 03:21

Sataere: Jul 20, 2005; Step 1: Start fight
Step 2: Attack straw man
Step 3: REPEAT

Do not engage with me

surf rock posted:

Great OP concept, although I'd consider Feyd-Rautha for Chicago instead.

If we are any Harkonnnen, it's Rabban.

# ? Apr 30, 2024 03:32

MJeff: Jun 2, 2011; THE LIAR

I felt rather strongly that it would've been too partisan to make anybody Paul or a Harkonnen.

Sataere posted:

If we are any Harkonnnen, it's Rabban.

Rabban is every Bears fan.

Any Harkonnen that gets within a 6 foot radius of Rabban and mildly disagrees with him is also every Bears fan.

# ? Apr 30, 2024 03:38

Hot Diggity!: Apr 3, 2010; SKELITON_BRINGING_U_ON.GIF

Jordan Love

# ? Apr 30, 2024 04:04

R.D. Mangles: Jan 10, 2004

Digital Jedi posted:

Da Bears

# ? Apr 30, 2024 04:09

R.D. Mangles: Jan 10, 2004

i don't know what the op is but the bears have The Punter, it's over for you hos

# ? Apr 30, 2024 04:10

Gonz: Dec 22, 2009; "Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"

I cannot wait for the epic Jack Fox vs. Tory Taylor punting battles.

# ? Apr 30, 2024 04:13

R.D. Mangles: Jan 10, 2004

Gonz posted:

I cannot wait for the epic Jack Fox vs. Tory Taylor punting battles.

RETVRN

# ? Apr 30, 2024 04:14

Gonz: Dec 22, 2009; "Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"

R.D. Mangles posted:

RETVRN

Kirk Ferentz saw this chart and got lightheaded with excitement.

# ? Apr 30, 2024 04:27

Chris James 2: Aug 9, 2012

Digital Jedi posted:

Da Bears

# ? Apr 30, 2024 13:15

Paint Crop Pro: Mar 22, 2007; Find someone who values you like Rick Spielman values 7th round picks.

Lets go Vikings and JJ McCarthy bitch

# ? Apr 30, 2024 13:33

Dexo: Aug 15, 2009; A city that was to live by night after the wilderness had passed. A city that was to forge out of steel and blood-red neon its own peculiar wilderness.

Digital Jedi posted:

Da Bears

# ? Apr 30, 2024 13:34

q_k: Dec 31, 2007

Paint Crop Pro posted:

Lets go Vikings and JJ McCarthy bitch

# ? Apr 30, 2024 13:44

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

Lions bitch

# ? Apr 30, 2024 13:44

ShaneMacGowansTeeth: May 22, 2007; I think this is it... I think this is how it ends

more of this please

# ? Apr 30, 2024 13:52

Kevlar v2.0: Dec 25, 2003; =^�⩊�^=

Digital Jedi posted:

Da Bears

# ? Apr 30, 2024 14:14

WoodrowSkillson: Feb 24, 2005; *Gestures at 60 years of Lions history*

The Lions are going to have a good and fun season.

# ? Apr 30, 2024 14:19

Acebuckeye13: Nov 2, 2010; Against All Tyrants; Ultra Carp

WoodrowSkillson posted:

The Lions are going to have a good and fun season.

inshallah

# ? Apr 30, 2024 14:22

ghosthorse: Dec 15, 2011; ...you forget so easily...

Paint Crop Pro posted:

Lets go Vikings and JJ McCarthy bitch

# ? Apr 30, 2024 14:40

Hot Diggity!: Apr 3, 2010; SKELITON_BRINGING_U_ON.GIF

Like every season I hope that the Packers are good, and every other team in the division is bad. It's just that simple.

# ? Apr 30, 2024 14:58

IcePhoenix: Sep 18, 2005; Take me to your Shida

I'm ready for the JJ2JJ era to begin

# ? Apr 30, 2024 15:00

Dexo: Aug 15, 2009; A city that was to live by night after the wilderness had passed. A city that was to forge out of steel and blood-red neon its own peculiar wilderness.