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"Go BACK to where you CAME from, DEMON. And you can leave MARI here." ##vote scari
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Oct 23, 2018 17:20
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Hmmm, on second thought.... *Scari throws a rock at the time manipulation device. It whirrs and sparks as her vote changes.*
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Oct 23, 2018 21:40
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Act 1 - Scene 1 Scari: So what're you thinking? she pulls out a cigarette and asks Boyardima for a light Boyardima: As you have correctly surmised, we should have.... a conversation. Spicer: Oh boy. Maintain the united front!!! Scari Conversations are good. What is it that you're after, Boyardima? Spicer: I don't know what form the final round will take, but leaving a scum double voter around bodes ill. Boyardima: pointedly leaves Scari's cigarette unlit And what say you to that, Scari? Scari: My double vote was a two shot! I promise! Spicer: Better to stamp out doubt than bargain on the word of a fooler. Eat: There's no conversation to be had between you two. She's got nothing further to offer, besides empty promises. Scari: Scari puts her cigarette back in Mari's purse and pulls out a joint, holds it in front of boyardima questioiningly. Spicer: You made a vow, Boyardima, follow through and banish this spirit. Let us move to the final stage in solidarity. Eat: This is a matter of whether you decide to go through with this cowardice. Scari: What you call cowardice, I call superior strategy. Spicer: I believe in you, my fiery friend! Eat: If you have demands to make, make them of me. Scari: Drop out of the competition. Boyardima: Enough. Don't pretend at power you don't have. Think logically. The final round, with three people, will have no votes. How could it possibly? Eat: Get to the point, Boyardima. You're not convincing Spicer, you're certainly not convincing me, and Scari is already on your side. Boyardima: You already know where this is going. It was what we all signed up for. quote:Twelve Contestants Battle For Culinary Supremacy And A Prestigious Position With The World's Greatest Masters Of The Art. Only One Will Ascend To Take A Seat At The Round Table, Claiming Their Rightful Place In History Eat: I am aware. Spicer: And I would be fine with that One being any of us three. We do not know the Dark One blessed her with a singular blessing. Boyardima: If she had a second blessing, she would have used it. She thought this round was her last chance. Spicer: Hrm, perhaps Eat: Again. Either you're doing this regardless of what any of the rest of us do, or there's something else you're after. Name your price or place your vote. Spicer: I fear the majority of my arguments are less...direct than what appears to be driving the considerations of our fiery friend at the moment Boyardima: The point should be obvious. You, Eat Punchbeef, are an excellent chef with a comical pile of ingredients, an unused one-shot power, and the ability to reopen the Grocery next round for an extra 25 gold on top of whatever shopping we might get. If I am to aim for ultimate victory - just as my patron would want, with his neverending quest for victory - the choice is obvious. I leave it up to you to convince me that your survival is less of a threat than it appears. Eat: It would seem that that joint show you put forward is off the table, then. Fine then. I have, in essence, another 50 gold remaining. My blessing allows me to name three star ingredients instead of one. My meal plan is Bear Chops, with an undecided, likely truffle-based side, and an orange-chocolate torte. This leaves a considerable amount of money remaining, which I would be willing to part with, or spend on your behalf. My ultimate goal is to see Guy Fieri dethroned. I no longer have faith that you are the man for the task. Boyardima: Make no mistake, my goal is the same. It's regrettable that you and I disagree on method, but so be it. Scari: Just putting it out there eat - if you want to keep your money intact, you have the option to just vote out spicer with me. Eat: Boyardima, I say this to you fully truthfully. Before you chose to make this play, had we made it to the last round together, I would have been willing to stand aside for your victory if asked. You were, in my mind, the greatest chef out of all of us. I considered you my friend. And yet, despite all that talent, all that mastery, you chose to resort to this. To dealing with Flavortown. Spicer: See the fact now becomes that uh the whole coercion plans. Relies on scum maintaing their vote, instead of swapping. To keep the now angered superior chef in the game. Eat: How? How can you be so strong, yet so lacking in confidence that you resort to this? Spicer: I must admit too to being saddened. The words and deeds of Boyardima suggested a true firmness of purpose. To see that fall astray to realpolitik machinations. Well. Eat: I looked up to you. I believed in you. I was workshopping titles for that show you proposed! Scari: He's made of fire and I have the whole devil getup thing, surely you guys suspected something? Boyardima: DO NOT insinuate that you and I hold any sort of shared allegiance, imp. Spicer: When the crazy time plan worked, I thought, "We have Guy!" Now, well It is back in the balance. I do not claim that Scari is greater culinary threat necessarily than EAT. But at this point you are not guaranteed it is either of them. Boyardima: I say this with sincerity: I am listening. Your words do not fall upon deaf ears. Eat: Mari had far greater pressure upon her, and she was still willing to toss that inside, to concede entirely, rather than embrace Flavortown! Spicer: Should Scari convince EAT to swap to me, your plan fails, and evil is allowed to persist. Come back from the brink. End this now, and well, we can figure out what comes next Eat: You're freely bargaining with its agent, for your own power! If you continue with this Boyardima, you may unseat Fieri, yes. But that weakness will remain inside you. It will drive you, just as that very same weakness drove him! Spicer: That burning hunger to win at any cost...it cannot be sustained. Scari: (Spicer with the tagline for the show!) Eat: And soon it will be you that's spreading this darkness through the land. You will be the one slathering donkey sauce onto pies. Boyardima: You go too far. Eat: That's where this road leads, friend. Do not allow doubt in your own capabilities to cloud your mind. I called on my summon, and put forth I dish I was truly proud in, and you still beat me handily. Boyardima: I give you the respect you deserve, you are a convincing orator. But look at all these assembled councilors - they fought their way to power, just as we do this day. Theyy too competed upon the grounds of this cooking stadium. Would you say that that power has corrupted Cat Cora? Masaharu Morimoto? They seized the power seasoned with their blood, sweat, and tears. Why should I not do the same, to eliminate the cancer that has grown and festered within the Council's ranks? Eat: Tell me, then. Voting me out this way. Does it challenge your cooking? Does it inspire you to grow? Will the experience of working with Scari to vote me out, with no judges involved, make your next dish better than your last? Spicer: I do not know how those counselors achieved their status. Let me specify, I do not know the manner of how they achieved their status. Was it in honest competition. Or devious machination The method of how one comes to power in many cases affects how one wields it. Boyardima: You seem to imply that this final step invalidates all that has come before - where I struggled, and sweated, and clawed my way onwards without achieving victory until this point. I appreciate the oratory, but who is to say that this strategic move is any more or less valid than allowing myself to come into a position where all that hard work could be for naught? We have all fought for our lives here, again and again. I will never question that. Eat: Tell me this, then, Boyardima. Answer me truthfully. Do you believe you are a better chef than me? Do you, in your heart, think you are the superior chef? Boyardima: Yes. But you and I both know that even a superior chef can be unseated by machinations beyond our personal control. And that - THAT- is what I struggle with. I have spent this entire competition weighing every microscopic factor. I struggled mightily with whether to even take this step, or if it was too much - too far. It was a sleepless and sweat-soaked night I endured, after seeing the results last night and realizing the option that was available to me. I do not make excuses. I shall not. I have put everything of myself into this competition, as have all of us. But if I am to stand aside - go for the easy option - and simply snuff out Scari with little ceremony, then I do not know if I could ever forgive myself for succumbing to weakness at this crucial competition. Out of all assembled judges here, I am my own worst critic, by far. It is that voice that hounds me, and drives me onward and upwards. Eat: What weakness is there in that act? Spicer: I fear at this point there are simply unresolvable differences - you seek to neutralize the greatest tactical threat, which in all due honesty is probably EAT. But for me the goal has always to ensure that whoever replaced Fieri would not simply perpetuate his ways, and allowing Scari to continue perpetuates that possibility. I see no weakness in the act, merely humility. Eat: It is an act of confidence, friend. It is an act of righteousness. Spicer: Putting aside the concerns of the immediate self benefit for a greater victory for all, that in truth does not forestall your greater victory to follow. Scari: Oh come on, you're not buying this, are you? Spicer: Consider history, consider your performances - when the final two come head to head (I rationally discount myself,) I do believe you have the edge on who will stand upon the higher podium. Eat: You have me outmaneuvered. If you wish to eliminate me, then there is little I can do about it. But in that moment, you will have allowed your doubt, your weakness, to control you. And that will hurt your cooking. You are not inadequate, Boyardima. Do not allow yourself to act like you are. You diminish yourself when you do so. Spicer: I believe in the Boyardima of fierce purpose. The Boyardima who left it all on the plate, everytime. Scari: .... Y'know Eat, it's not too late to knife Spicer with me. Spicer: If that is my fate, well. Eat: I will not. I stand firm in my convictions. Spicer: It is appreciated, though I would rather you persist than I. Should we enter the world where strategic considerations take total precedence. As I hope very much we do not. Eat: If that is the world we are in, she has no reason to vote anyone but me. Boyardima: Deep in consideration 
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Oct 24, 2018 03:21
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 Spicer, during this conversation
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Oct 24, 2018 03:47
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Act 1 - Scene 2 Spicer425* gently caress I feel the forces of the timecinema pulling me Stay true.....boyardima Stay......true.....  Chef Boyardima It IS a difficult decision. I hope you can understand, but I suspect you would not allow yourself to. Scari2Win Scari pulls the joint back out of her purse and starts smoking it herself. EAT PUNCHBEEF If you truly believe that you will be at peace with yourself after you do this If you believe that defeating me in this way will be sufficient If you know, in hour heart, that you will not worry about what would have happened... If you know that all your self-doubt will be vanquished... Chef Boyardima *erupts* That's precisely what I was just trying to explain. If I vote with my heart, and you beat me in the final round - when I could have changed that with a single simple action - how would I justify that to myself? You make an emotional play, and it is a good one. EAT PUNCHBEEF If you can guarantee that you will not be swayed again by Flavortown as you have been here... Then I will accept defeat. But if any of that is not true... You will ruin yourself by taking this path. If you wish to make demands, to put a price on your vote, then I will pay it. But otherwise, there is nothing more I can do. Chef Boyardima I hear your counsel, my friend - and I appreciate its grounding in rationality. Many would have reacted far more poorly at this development than you did, but you have taken the time to speak your mind and plead your case. I will never allow Flavortown to exist again after this competition ends - I have meant every word I said. I fully expect the surviving chefs to cook under Guy Fieri's jaundiced and scaly eye next round, and have weighed carefully what that means - and the risk it entails to potentially bring Scari in your stead. But if you are willing to make concessions at your expense, in order to purge Fieri's vile stains from this kitchen together... You may be a better man than I. I acknowledge and respect that. ...That being said, while I still believe myself to be a better chef than you, I have fought every step of the way to get here. I have an advantage over you that cannot be denied, and I would be betraying the effort put into this competition - and those who supported me along the way - if I let that go unused. Tell me this - you mentioned 50 gold before. You have 15 gold, and receive 25 when you open the shop. How would you achieve 50? An accounting error given the tumultuous end to the last round? EAT PUNCHBEEF I have two uses remaining Chef Boyardima Ah. And I assume you can utilize this even on rounds when the Grocery already stands open? EAT PUNCHBEEF Indeed. Scari2Win Haha Boyardima if you really want to win you should ask him for everything he owns  Scari excuses herself to go outside for a smokeScari2Win ...and then vote him out anyways Chef Boyardima @EAT PUNCHBEEF You say that you will pay whatever price is necessary to keep Fieri at bay. I will do you the service of pointing out an accounting error in your most recent pantry tally - you should have 15 gold, not 10. (I suspect Spicer's time manipulation incident is to blame.) Will you concede your stockpile of ingredients to me in exchange for the removal of Fieri's tool? You may keep your 15 gold, though if there is a no-grocery round next round I would appreciate you spending 4 gold to return a Jalapeno to Spicer as I have no liquid cash remaining. With your infusion of 50 gold next round, that should be manageable - and will allow me to put some of these howling inner voices to rest. EAT PUNCHBEEF Counter offer: I pay for all of your ingredients next round. EAT PUNCHBEEF @Chef Boyardima it's greater flexibility for you, more freedom to cook to your style Chef Boyardima I agree there are benefits to the flexibility option, but that relies me trusting you to carry through on your side of the deal. I don't make any aspersions towards your character - indeed, it would be tone-deaf of me to do so - but I need something of significant substance in hand at this point in time to settle my concerns. I will concede you keeping your Blessed Bear Steak in exchange for the 15G you hold on-hand, out of respect for your signature style, but my request for your other ingredients stands. You can afford to buy more. EAT PUNCHBEEF Deal Chef Boyardima Deal, then. Once you transfer, I'll vote. --- Spicer425*'s collected reactions, for posterity:  Spicer, first realizing something is not on the level  Spicer, realizing scum might survive  Spicer, reacting to Boyardima (not Phelps as pictured)
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Oct 24, 2018 04:29
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Eat is unusually subdued as he speaks, as he has been this entire conversation "Chef Boyardima... I'm... I'm happy that we were able to reach an agreement. I am saddened that it came at the cost of our friendship. But if this is what it takes for Flavortown to be defeated... It's a price I will pay." Transfer: Goose Truffles Milk Chocolate Blessed Orange Blessed Dark Chocolate 15 Gold To Chef Boyardima The Lord of Hats fucked around with this message at 04:44 on Oct 24, 2018 |
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Oct 24, 2018 04:41
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The Lord of Hats posted:Eat is unusually subdued as he speaks, as he has been this entire conversation  Boyardima nods his thanks, a grim smile spreading across his fiery face. The struggle of indecision has left his face, though the light of his flames reveals shadows in its wake - this choice clearly tormented him, with each side promising its own consequences. Packing the ingredients into his cooler, he turns away... fulfilling his end of the deal.  His fires douse for a moment as he addresses the judges, a curious vulnerability apparent in his stance.  "Councilors, if I may make a request as a member of the final three? You can do what you want with Scari, but... please don't send Mari away like the others. I want her to stay and watch this - so she can see Guy Fieri crushed, and find solace in that." Turning away and gritting his teeth, Boyardima is lost in his own thoughts for a moment.      (For the victory reward: +2 Sweet/+2 Fresh/+2 Bitter) Podima fucked around with this message at 05:03 on Oct 24, 2018 |
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Oct 24, 2018 04:47
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Oct 24, 2018 05:00
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The three red spotlights turn to Scariface. Then the Specters speak. Their forms an azure counterpart to the flames taking ablaze in Kitchen Stadium. Between the tempers, the rending of reality, and drama, this tradition didn't seem needed. And yet... “Scariface2Win… You Will Not Be The Next Food Network Star.”  Scariface2Win, The Impossible Chef SCUM CHEF has been eliminated.The red lights fade. The fires die down. And the Specters settle. When light returns to Kitchen Stadium, only three chefs remain. “Be Ready Chefs.” They speak. “The Winner Of This Challenge Will Go On To Take On The Councillor Of Their Choice.”
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Oct 24, 2018 05:52
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 As he prepares his station for the final challenge, Boyardima takes a moment to reflect upon the other challengers he's cooked against along the way...  Mystery Chef X - The Iron Chef [TOWN] - Withdrew from Competition "I'm here to prove that great food doesn't have to be fancy, just extremely tasty, and I know mine is." "They only submitted one dish, but it was a bold attempt as the first one to brave the fabled ice cream machine (and likely would have been a tasty treat). From their ingredient purchases, it was clear they were a forward-thinking chef - already planning ahead for future rounds. While I respect their decision to withdraw, it is a shame to consider what could have been."  Frying Cookerman - Team Chef Alpha [TOWN] - Eliminated by Vote "Hello. I cook things. It is my entire reason for being. I hope I can show everyone skill." "In retrospect, even though they were at the bottom of the first round (tied with The Chicret Ingredient), the margin was razor-thin - a few more points would have saved them to cook another day. Their dish was perfectly reasonable as a submission, without any glaring errors. Being the first eliminated can be a spirit-dousing experience, and I hope they continue to hone their craft despite it."  Prawn Po'Boy - The Clear Eye [TOWN] - Did Not Submit a Dish "Cooking. Hm. I suppose I've seen stranger. Oh, I hope this one can withstand the experiment." "I expected more from them, quite frankly. They seemed truly interested in understanding the hidden machinations and inner workings that serve as the foundation of our craft, and were relentless in their pursuit of those they deemed a threat to advancement - something I can certainly respect. I do wonder what sort of power "The Clear Eye" had, though... perhaps we'll find out someday."  The Chicret Ingredient - The Cutthroat [SCUM] - Did Not Submit a Dish "All will be revealed. In time." "Ironic that the last dish they submitted was judged by Fieri himself... but every chef knows that managing your time in the kitchen is crucial to success, and they left things just a little too late. Their guise was near-perfect, though - I never would have guessed they served Flavortown. We should count ourselves lucky that things transpired as they did, for their dishes masqueraded shockingly well as hearty comfort food."  CHAIRMAN KAGA - The Underdog [TOWN] - Eliminated by Vote "But I am done just watching others cook! I am done eating raw ingredients in the dark. I am here to COOK!" "Ah, KAGA. This was where the competition truly became real for me. He played his role to the hilt, and clawed for survival at every opportunity. His power was truly dangerous, and would only have intensified if he had continued as a competitor. I also give him due credit for being the first to use his summon - albeit not in a way I would have agreed with - and daring to submit one of the most unique dishes that has graced this competition. His elimination, too, was memorable - if votes had shifted just seconds earlier, he might be standing here today instead of me."  ThrmalImmrsionCirculationMastr - The Nightmare [TOWN] - Eliminated by Vote "I do not pursue knowledge or power or fame, I pursue perfection in the Culinary Arts. Nothing less." "Victory despite being sabotaged - quite an impressive start. In fact, he won upon two separate occasions! Looking back, he also submitted some very daring dishes - an entirely Scienced dessert, and fried Truffle chips? Magnificent imagination - and bravery - that I certainly could not have aspired to at that point in my culinary journey."  Home Ec 3rd Period - Team Chef Omega [TOWN] - Eliminated by Vote "Yes. Yes, I will do this thing." "Having his partner eliminated in the very first round must have been crushing. Still, he soldiered on and submitted some seriously creative dishes - remember the tortoise and the hare? Fascinating stuff, and very instructive for someone like me who had minimal experience with unusual ingredients like that. That being said, it is regretful that he was eliminated before having the chance to bring back his partner... if the two of them had survived together for enough time, their might would have been terrifying to behold."  Wiener Batter - The Gastronomer [SCUM] - Eliminated by Vote "I grace this contest with my humble personage, to elevate the proceedings, and perhaps teach a few of you thick witted fry cooks what it takes to create great food." Boyardima lets out a surprising belly laugh. "This scoundrel infuriated me time and again by sabotaging my dishes! And I suspect many others share the same feelings. His work kept us all paranoid of interference, so in that respect he did his job - and his constant costume changes WERE inventive and amusing. I also give him credit for the social game - constantly pointing out others as threats (and frankly, largely rightfully so) to draw attention away from himself. All in all, a worthy foe."  Liquid Caramelization - The Naked Chef [TOWN] - Eliminated by Vote "Only a cuisine that has the courage to shed the shrouds of history and truly let what is within shine can truly reign supreme." "A levelheaded and even-toned competitor, clearly with a rich culinary background - they had their ups and downs during the competition, but largely stayed in the background and disconnected from the social aspects of the challenge. While their dishes were superb, I wonder if that deficiency might have contributed to their selection for elimination? I will credit him for inspiring my Indian dish's submission during the vegetarian round, though. ...also, I just noticed that they had the audacity to submit the Cheez Whiz as their Star Ingredient during the round they won. That's truly impressive."  Marinade2Win/Scari2Win - The Impossible Chef [SCUM] - "I'm not really sure if I have a chance of winning, but I'm ok with that. I'm here to make friends.  "".....They were a powerful competitor, and I think more creative in their cooking approaches than just about any chef I've ever met. Their dishes were evocative and flavorful - both in concept and in taste. Also, that declaration of support for Fieri - quite the trick she pulled on us all, and despite being a marked woman she stuck it out for far longer in this competition than anyone might have expected. It is regrettable what happened with Scari, but I hope that Mari's recovery will be swift." Reminiscing done, Boyardima resumed his preparation - waiting and watching for the Specters to announce the final challenge and the climax of his culinary odyssey...
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Oct 25, 2018 20:03
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The Spectors surround Scari. This time there is no golden light, no warm embrace on the shoulders. Instead they stand outside of reach, humming low, their arms raised to their sides. "It Would Be Wrong To Return This Evil To The Outside World. It Did Not Originate Their. It Does Not Belong There. It Must Be ... Exorsized." Scari struggles and screams between the two ghosts as incredibly heat envelopes her. A sickly green light begins to leak from, sickly green light in the shape of a diminutive fairy. Sweat pours off her brow as the humming intensifies into solemn chanting, driving the green plasma into even more fervent hysterics. There's an audible scream, com in ng from the direction of Scari. And yet, with her jaw clenched tight, no scream escapes her. Finally, she collapses. "Impurities Loathe Heat. A Firey Oven Highlights Only The Best Of Food. So Too With Souls. Mari Is Released. However, We Cannot Reccomend She Be Moved. Not, At Least, Until She Wakes Up." The spectors take to the air once more, their strange ritual complete. And yet, the sound of low chanting is still audible. You detect it coming from the judges table. Guy Fieri's low rumble has been replaced with a quiet, breathy litagy, spoke to rapidly to comprehend. It is peireced occasionally by maddened laughter. The other judges eye him cautiously, but the spectors pay little mind. "Chefs. Honored Chefs. Master Chefs. You Have Reached The Indominable Peak Of This Tournament. There Is Nowhere Further To Ascend But Into The Stars Themselves. For One Of You, The Stars Will Be Only The Beginning. It Is Our Duty, Our Priviledge And Our Honor To Commence The Tenth And Final Round Of The Tournament." From the table, each of your patrons rises. They step forward, making small but noticeable gestures of faith toward their chosen Champions. "In This Round You Will Be Judged By Those Who Have Put The Most Faith In You. Councilor Bobby Flay. Councilor Cat Cora. And Councilor Masaharu Morimoto. More Than Your Talents As Chefs, Fate Has Brought You Here. Destiny Has Designs Upon You. We Are But Humble Spectors, We Cannot Speak For Fate." "In Recognition Of This, We Make No Demands, Set No Expectations. In Your Hearts, You Know What You Must Cook. And Now, We Plead With You, Make The Dish That Fate Brought You Here To Cook. No Less Will Do." Guy Fieri releases an especially maddened laugh, staring wildly at a single point in open space, fingers dancing between strange occult knittings with a speed like lightning. His frosted tips seem to glow with menace. "You Will Receive No Interference This Round. Save For One. And It's Source Will Be..." "YOUR FELLOW CHEFS!" "Before Cooking Begins In Earnest, We Ask All Chefs To Declare An Ingredient. The Ingredient Chosen By Each Of You Must Appear In The Final Dish For All Of You. In This Way, There Will Be Three Required Ingredients, Shared By All of You. In This Way You Will Honor The Journey You Have All Undertaken. Together." Cackling laughter now. Louder than you would anticipate even possible of a single man. Guy seems to bellow with the laughter of a legion of haunted souls. This, finally, captures the spectors attention, who turn and cast loathsome stares at the mad councilor. "Do Not Fear Guy, Even He Would Not Dare To Sabotage The Ritual At This Late Hour. He Cackles From Fear. A Fear He Will Soon No The True Flavor Of." Guy does not respond, only mumbling more drat'ed hymns. The Council seem less certain of his intentions, but they nod solidarity to the Spectors, who return their gaze to you. "In Addition To You Demanded Ingredient, Please Also Declare Who You Intend To Challenge If You Prove Victorious In This Round. Tell Us Who You Will Replace. Please Chefs, Choose Wisely." "The Grocery Remains Close. However, New Powers Are Granted To You." "Any Ingredient You Have Cooked In A Prior Round Is Freely Summonable. Having Mastered Your Own Cusines, You Will Never Be Without Your Tools Again." "And Now Chefs. To Battle. To Glory! TO YOUR DESTINIES!" "ALLEZ CUISINE!!" *_*_*_*_*_*_* Tldr: Judges: Bobby Flay, Cat Cora, Masaharu Morimoto. Interference: You must each declare an Ingredient before you. These three ingredients will be mandatory for all of your dishes. Please also declare who you plan to challenge in the Final Battle. Cook the dish that fate brought you here to cook. You do not have open access to the grocery, but you may freely summon any ingredient you have previously cooked in the tournament. Deadline is in 72 hours. Good luck Chefs. KhediveRex fucked around with this message at 05:08 on Oct 26, 2018 |
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Oct 26, 2018 05:00
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Ugh and like Cassandra I am cursed to tell the future but my warnings go ignored. I said he should be voted out, but the sheep baahed in obeisance to his will. Boyardima stands on the brink of triumph while you mewling unworthy contestants simper in his shadow. And to be doubly cursed to have my voting strategy debated and successfully executed by him is infuriating. My one wish is that he be revealed as SCUM
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Oct 26, 2018 05:44
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 I have decided - my required ingredient shall be the potato. Let creativity flourish!
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Oct 28, 2018 01:56
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For my ingredient... I will stay TRUE to STRONG CUISINE! It will be BEAR STEAK! And for the CHALLENGE.... GUY FIERI, I shall DEFEAT you!
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Oct 28, 2018 19:07
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I too, will challenge Fieri.
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Oct 28, 2018 19:11
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Oct 28, 2018 19:53
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Weener Beater posted:Ugh 
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Oct 28, 2018 19:55
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Well - this is it. Somehow it's come down to the three of us, cooking one last time together in this hallowed stadium. With the defeat of Scari, I believe the dark future I once came from has been averted - I trust that the...darker side of Boyardima will be left behind with the Machiavellian concerns of this competition, and should any of us triumph in the end it will lead to a radically improved timeline. So where does that leave me? Of course I would like to be the one to triumph, but I am a realist - those left in this competition with me are my culinary superiors. All I can do know is hold fast to the doctrine that has carried me through the competition thus far - "What would I like to eat?" If this is to be my final outing, let it be with my head held high and everything left on the plate. Vegetable Salad Tomato - Raw Onion - Preserved Cucumber - Raw Teriyaki Steak with Wasabi Butter Bear Steak - Grilled - Star Wasabi - Raw Scalloped Potatoes Chicken egg Baked Cheddar Baked Potato Baked Chocolate Milkshake Milk Chocolate - Ice Creamed sniper4625 fucked around with this message at 01:36 on Oct 29, 2018 |
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Oct 29, 2018 00:53
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nothing happens
sniper4625 fucked around with this message at 01:30 on Oct 29, 2018 |
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Oct 29, 2018 01:26
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At long last, the moment of truth. The Specters had announced the parameters of the final contest, and each chef in turn declared their ingredient of choice. Boyardima took a moment to consider each in turn... "I carry the hopes and dreams of the future in my cooking." Potato - a surprisingly simple and versatile ingredient from the mysterious time traveler Spicer425°, but one that made sense in retrospect. It had featured in previous dishes, including the first round where he broke away from the pack with a shockingly good early submission... only to fall short of Thermal, who secured victory despite sabotage. Was this his goal, then - to bring his journey full circle? Perhaps history would not, in fact, repeat itself. Ah, speaking of which. A debt should be repaid. Boyardima tosses Spicer a fresh and lustrous Jalapeno, in immaculate condition.  "I'm going to say it straight out: everyone else's food is WEAK!" Bear Steak - no surprise from EAT PUNCHBEEF, perfectly in line with the bold culinary identity he had brashly forged from the very beginning. Part of Boyardima still struggled with how the last round had concluded - the victory-obsessed teachings of Bobby Flay at odds with his own simple desires to cook good food and stop Guy from further tainting others' cuisine. As he examined the glistening bear steak delivered to his station, he made a promise to himself - no matter how this round turned out, he would approach Punchbeef, apologize... and perhaps bring up that cooking show they had discussed, once. And of course... Wasabi - a cornerstone of his cooking for most of this competition, but a decidedly divisive ingredient to work with for the typical chef. Boyardima concealed a slight smile, eager to see how his worthy opponents would handle this final challenge he had set for them. --- Grimly setting to the challenging task of devising his ultimate recipe, Boyardima realized one thing was true - he couldn't do this alone. Perhaps it was time to finally use one of his final trump cards... Gesturing grandly, the fiery chef stepped away from his table and made as if to conduct some kind of arcane summoning ritual... ...before pulling out a phone (safely secured in a heat-resistant case, of course) and scrolling through his saved contacts for a moment before finding the right one. "Hello, Mr. Lagasse? This is Boyardima - the guy who set up that sponsorship deal for your Essence on a few cooking shows, a year or two ago. Yes, nice to talk to you again - it's been a while! Listen, I've got a thing going on here and I could really use your help in the kitchen - do you have time? I'd consider it a personal favor, of course. Yes, yes - exactly, I need things kicked up a notch! Excellent. See you shortly, Chef!" As Boyardima resumed his preparation, Emeril set aside his morning paper, donned his chef's coat, and uttered the cryptic arcane command that would whisk him away to Kitchen Stadium... "Bͤͥ҉̗̭̲̘̤A̬̪̻̼̜͈̠ͥͮ̐͒M̓!̽͛ͩ̔͟"   Chef Boyardima summons Emeril Lagasse! --- Now then, no putting it off any longer. It was time to begin cooking, and Boyardima (assisted by Emeril) set to it with a will. Pulled from Stock Blessed Salmon Blessed Wasabi Blessed Dark Chocolate Blessed Good Mushrooms Blessed Habanero Pepper Blessed Pumpkin Duck Liver Truffle Required Ingredients Bear Steak Potato Starting with the long-term items... He leaves the Duck Liver to soak in milk, leeching out the harsh iron flavors of the blood that suffuses it. In the same vein, a handful of Habanero Peppers go into the smoker, loaded with pungent wood chips that Boyardima sets smoldering with a single blazing touch. Last but not least, an assortment of hearty Good Mushrooms are submerged in peppery-sour liquid and left aside in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber to pickle. Moving on to the proteins, Boyardima debones the Salmon and slices it into thin - almost bite-sized - filets and places them in the oven. Next, he trims the Bear Steak and turns away from the camera for a few mysterious moments - his flames rise higher than ever before, and all manner of odd tools whirl into and out of his hands. When he turns back around, the bear steak is gone - in its place is a fine selection of curiously-formed... ursine caviar? Setting that aside, he strains the liver-milk mixture and pats the livers dry before placing them in the oven alongside the salmon to bake for a few brief moments. Spiced Pumpkin slices join them as well - along with foil-wrapped Potatoes! The oven is certainly getting a workout for this round of preparations. While everything else cooks merrily, the chef's focus turns to the remaining preparation he has left. Taking the fresh Truffle left from a previous round, he slices them thin with a mandolin, and preps the resulting chips in a basket above a bubbling deep fryer - clearly, these will be made to order. The livers come out of the oven, and Boyardima purees them with leftover duck fat to create a fine mousse. The pate is set aside in ramekins to chill, while the chef's focus shifts to dessert. His favorite ingredient - Wasabi - receives special treatment, as the chef shaves it into delicate spirals that are quickly coated with molten sugar. Turning to the smoker, Boyardima removes the habaneros and carefully slices them into rings. Quickly melting some Dark Chocolate in a double boiler, both the wasabi and habaneros receive a generous coating. Smiling confidently, Boyardima removes his remaining ingredients from the oven and begins plating! "My submission for your consideration is a meal of unexpected meetings - in honor of how many varied paths have led us here to this momentous point." A generous schmear of the chilled duck liver mousse is spread on a cracker, and a small pile of the mysterious bear caviar goes alongside it on a second cracker. Last but not least, the plate is finished with a small skewer of pickled mushrooms. "For the first plate of your tasting, a meeting between Sky and Soil. Rich earthy flavors blend with tangy sensations that evoke the sensation of unexpected flight." For the second plate, Boyardima plates a thin-cut filet of salmon atop a similarly-cut slice of roasted pumpkin. The artistry is impressive - it's as if they were two slices of the same original. The truffle slices finally receive a dunk in bubbling oil, and a small basket of freshly-fried chips joins the salmon and pumpkin on the plate. The final addition to the plate - a wedge of baked potato stuffed with butter, dusted with sea salt, and partially wrapped with foil for easy eating by hand. "The second course focuses on the meeting between Sea and Shore, combining a variety of flavors and textures into a harmonious experience like the sound of waves softly crashing against sand." Last but not least, each judge receives a plate with a chocolate-covered curl of wasabi and two delicate rings of chocolatey smoked habanero. "And finally, the end of our journey together. The third and final plate is the meeting between Sweet and Spicy, combining my culinary background with what I've learned during my time here at Kitchen Stadium - taking two familiar ingredients and elevating them in a way I've never dared to before. The results may surprise you." Leaving the judges to consider his offering - the pinnacle of his cooking - Boyardima bows and flashes a genuine smile.  A Series of Unexpected Meetings Sky meets Soil Duck Liver - Bake Bear Steak - Science Blessed Good Mushrooms - Preserve Sea meets Shore Blessed Salmon - Bake - *Star Ingredient!* Blessed Pumpkin - Bake Truffle - Deep Fry Potato - Bake Sweet meets Spicy Blessed Wasabi - Candied Blessed Habanero Pepper - Smoked Blessed Dark Chocolate - Boil Podima fucked around with this message at 03:34 on Oct 29, 2018 |
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Oct 29, 2018 03:19
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Eat could sense the ingredients available to him. All that he was familiar with, right at his fingertips. He'd prided himself, at the start of this competition, for his knowledge of ingredients, his ability to bring out their inner STRENGTH. But that was like nothing compared to what he felt now. He had come so far, and it all seemed so simple now. Flavor was the basis of all that was. All that was not, yearned to be. You merely had to give it the opportunity to take form, and it would gladly do so. And yet, it was not enough. To be truly STRONG meant challenging one's own limitations. To push beyond the comfort zone, to always be in search of new peaks to challenge. The day you stopped struggling against yourself was the day you would begin your slow descent into weakness. To truly display his cooking, Eat would need more. He proceeded, once again, to the place the portal to the Grocery Dimension had once stood, steeling himself for what was to come. It had been some time since the plane had faded, and it would require an even greater exertion than he had planned. But it had to be done. He thrust forward his hands, flexed, and... It was as easy as opening a door. Shock quickly gave way to realization. There never had been a Grocery Dimension. Not really. They had all been there, certainly, but that wasn't the same thing. The truth was more extraordinary than that. When they had stepped through that portal, they had stepped into the collective experience, knowledge, and mastery of the Council. The power to make not only ingredients a reality, but an entire dimension... it boggled the mind. And soon, with luck, he would be making that contribution. For now, though, he did still have to pay for the ingredients. It was still a grocery, after all--giving out food for free would be bad for business. When he returned, it was with full bags and a smile upon his face. It was time... to COMPETE! "THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE!" Eat shouted. "For THIS DISH... No, for THESE DISHES, I hope to DEMONSTRATE to you, not only the PINNACLE of STRONG CUISINE, but also the POWER that Cat Cora has taught me... I call upon its SPIRIT! Its ESSENCE! I call upon... THE BUFFET!" "For my FIRST DISH! I have already DEMONSTRATED my MASTERY of its CHIEF INGREDIENT--BEAR STEAK! ONCE AGAIN, I will be GRILLING it! But I will not INSULT you by presenting the SAME DISH as before! COURTESY of CHEF BOYARDIMA, I PRESENT... WASABI! It has an FANTASTIC KICK to it! So POWERFUL, in fact, that it THREATENS the BEAR'S RICHNESS! To PREVENT that, we will be COMBINING it with BLUE CHEESE and CREME FRAICHE! The END RESULT is a BLUE CHEESE SAUCE that PACKS A REAL PUNCH! Something to really KEEP YOUR TONGUE ON ITS TOES! We'll have to be DILIGENT about HOW MUCH of it we use to DRESS the STEAK!" "My SECOND DISH, the SIDE DISH, makes use of the HUMBLE POTATO! THANK YOU, SPICER, for your CONTRIBUTION! THIS, I will be DICING--" this doesn't even require a hand chop at this point. Eat simply gives the potato an intense look and it falls apart into cubes--"and mixing with KALE, GARLIC, and MORELS! And this ENTIRE MIX, I will PAN FRY! A SIMPLE PREPARATION, yes, but a FLAVORFUL one. I'm sure that WEINER would DISAGREE and argue the VIRTUE of COMPLICATED COOKING METHODS, but he was a WEAKLING DISCIPLE OF FLAVORTOWN, and I pay his words NO HEED." "And FINALLY, DESSERT! For this, as I have done BEFORE, we will turn... to CITRUS! As with the FIRST CHALLENGE, I call upon the LEMON! Furthermore, I will once again be using CANE SUGAR! First... we will make a GRAHAM CRACKER-BASED CRUST from our KITCHEN STAPLES. THEN, I will take CREAM CHEESE and the MIGHTY CANE SUGAR! And I will BEAT them TOGETHER until they are SOFT!" This, as with so many things Eat does, is by hand, his fingers churning through the mixture with ease. "But we DON'T STOP BEATING THEM THERE! We will add EGGS! ONE! TWO! THREE! We will beat in the LEMON JUICE! We will beat in the LEMON ZEST! We will beat in SOUR CREAM! And now, with ALL INGREDIENTS THOROUGHLY BEATEN... we POUR them INTO THE CRUST, and PLACE IT IN THE OVEN to BAKE!" "While that bakes, we will PREPARE the SAUCE! Today... it will be RASPBERRIES! THIS part is SIMPLE! We MASH the FRESH RASPBERRIES--you can ALSO use FROZEN, but you should ALWAYS USE FRESH INGREDIENTS WHERE POSSIBLE! We add WATER! We add CORN STARCH! We add SUGAR! And THEN we BOIL IT DOWN!" For this, Eat does use the stove, though he does use a stony finger to stir. Fire was Boyardima's area of expertise, after all. "After ROUGHLY TEN MINUTES of BOILING the SAUCE IS COMPLETE! NOW, we take our CHEESECAKE out of the OVEN, allow it to COOL in the REFRIGERATOR--If you don't have ACCESS to TIME MAGIC, this should be OVERNIGHT--and THEN, our LEMON CHEESECAKE is COMPLETE! TOP WITH THE RASPBERRY SAUCE, ADD WHIPPED CREAM and a SLICE OF LEMON to GARNISH, and IT IS DONE! A REFRESHING FINISH to a POWERFUL MEAL." "JUDGES, THIS IS MY CUISINE! THIS IS STRONG COOKING! PLEASE ENJOY IT TO THE FULLEST!" code:The Lord of Hats fucked around with this message at 04:37 on Oct 29, 2018 |
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Oct 29, 2018 04:31
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 TIME IS UP! Put it down, walk away!We've come a helluva long way, and we're gonna see the end of this tournament soon. We'll give our judges time to review your myriad creations. They'll have a final criticisms in 24 hours and 24 hours later, we're naming a champion. Stay tuned until then!
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Oct 29, 2018 05:10
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From the judges' table: Spicer 425 Masaharu Morimoto’s Translator posted:I find your dish to be particularly… uh, busy?... Each component seems to have one specific flavor with little to connect them with one another. The only flavor that carried over to each part was a bitter flavor. Truth be told you would’ve been best suited playing to bitter flavors for your dish Bobby Flay posted:I’m with Morimoto on this one. You tried to have each of your pieces do more than they actually can. It’s without a doubt fit for a king, but your dish needed some dialing back. Cat Cora posted:Your milkshake was really sweet, your salad was really fresh, and your steak was really savory, but in your dish, that was all they did. Chef Boyardima Bobby Flay posted:This could’ve blown up in your face with what you had planned, but you pulled it off, and to be honest, you didn’t really need Emeril in your corner for this. The Habanero, the dark chocolate, the pumpkin, the salmon - which was a genius move - really took your dish to the next level. I couldn’t be more proud of you Chef! Masaharu Morimoto posted:Great pairings. Surprise in taste. Surprise how they blend. Cat Cora posted:I honestly could’ve seen this fall apart too. THis could’ve been really gamey and herby dish, but you paired your ingredients well and gave a lot more variety. EAT PUNCHBEEF Cat Cora posted:Another dish was surprising restraint on the freshness, but you really hit it out of the park. You had a lot of earthy flavors in your dish, synced a lot of flavors together. It’s a nuanced, delicate and robust meal you’ve shown us. Nicely done Eat! Bobby Flay posted:I never thought blue cheese and wasabi would be a stellar combination. Same with your salad. That could’ve been a dish on its own, but plays really well with the cake and steak. Helluva dish to end the tournament on! Masaharu Morimoto posted:Mmm… Strong Cooking... The Specters gather around the remaining three contestants as the lights dim. "All Of You Have Shown Your Mettle Here In Kitchen Stadium. That You Stand Here Now Is Testament To Your Skill. But Only One Of You Will Win. And That Winner Is..." The Specters spin and spin around the three chefs, going faster and shifting from blue to gold. Until... "CHEF BOYARDIMA!!!" They boom. "Congratulations!" The other councillors - minus Guy - applaud at the chef's success. They're all trying not to look too jubilant at the Chef's victory - not because of his well earned win, but because finally, finally something will get to be done about FLAVORTOWN. They can hardly wait,. But other things had to be said. "EAT PUNCHBEEF, Spicer 425*... I Have To Say It... You Will Not Be The Next Food Network Star. It Was A Pleasure To Have You Here In Kitchen Stadium." Spicer 425*, The Restauranteur [TOWN CHEF] finishes in 3rd place.EAT PUNCHBEEF, The Host [TOWN CHEF] finishes in 2nd place.Chef Boyardima, The Essence [TOWN CHEF] wins the tournament!Final Scores Chef Boyardima - 446 (336 pre-summon) EAT PUNCHBEEF - 276 Spicer 425* - 164 AnAnonymousIdiot fucked around with this message at 05:47 on Oct 31, 2018 |
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Oct 31, 2018 04:56
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VICTORY!!! But it's not over yet..........  You're next, Guy.
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Oct 31, 2018 06:04
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Bobby jumps from the councilor's table pumping his fist in the air. "My Champion Won!" He shouts. "Eat it Guy! You don't got what it takes and you know it! You think you can outlook my protege? My star pupil? You're done! You're off the council! Someone take Guy out of the oven, cause he's a shriveled charred husk. Boyardima's gonna roast you!" He runs his hands through his hair in palpable relief and laughs a prideful chuckle. "Couldn't be more proud of you kid." Alton stands with dramatic flourish and a broad smile. "What can I say that our esteemed councilor hasn't already? We have one more round to finish but, I must say, I'm looking forward to the Era of Boyardima. And I think the culinary world is too." Martha pushes her chair backwards and lights a cigarette. "drat. It feel good knowing I won't have to see Guy's monstrous entree's any more. I'd had quite enough of that. Push him out Chef, we're counting on you." Wolfgang slam's his fist on the table, aggressively staring down Guy Fieri as he stands. "This Mother Fuc-" "BWAHAHAHA-Hurr-Hurr*Haaaaaa* ... BWAHAHAHAHAhahahHahaHAHA!!!" The Council all grew tense, some took steps backward. All of them had their eyes on Guy, laughing hysterically, throwing plates and cutlery playfully onto the floor of kitchen stadium. His wings flapped playfully in his chair, he wiped a single mirthful tear from his eye, and he smiled. A smile of such genuine joy and excitement it chilled the room and froze it's inhabitants. Bobby was the first to break the spell. "Stop laughing, idiot! You think this is funny? We all see through this pitiful attempt to intimidate us. It just shows how weak you truly are." "Intimidate you! HAHAHA-haha! Why - why would I want to intimidate you Bobby? No, no! I don't want to scare you! I'm just .... Just Celebrating! HahahHAHAHAHA!!" Bobby's eyes narrowed. "Celebrating your impending defeat? Have you lost your mind?" "I'M CELEBRATING THE BEGINNING OF THE NEW WORLD, FLAY! AND THE CULMINATION OF DECADES OF CAREFULLY PLANNING!" Masaharu spoke "What this means?". His translator cleared his throat and robotically reiterated, never breaking eye contact with the mad councilor. "I would like to know what Guy mean by this." "I bet you would Mori! I BET YOU ALL WOULD! LET ME SHOW YOU!!!" Guy flew from his chair at the judges table and extended one open palm toward the floor of kitchen stadium. "All those years! All those years deep frying baloney, throwing hot peppers on desserts, mixing pasteurized processed junk food into gourmet hor d'ouvers. It's all led to this moment. You tremendous fools of the council, you underestimated me. And now you've fallen. Right. Into. My. Hand." Guy closed his palm. And Kitchen Stadium burst. Fissures opened in every wall, pits formed in the floor, concrete shrapnel flew through the air and, most disturbingly, a gruesome green-tinted creme rushed to fill every inch of the chamber. The contestant chefs, Boyardima, Eat Punchbeef and Spicer are swept up in a typhoon of what seemed to be a mint infused meringue. As they bob to the surface struggling for air, they see the Council succumbing to the same fate. Alton's many puppets attempt to form a human chain to rescue their master, but the current is too strong. They are swept away and disappear in the tides of noxious desert. The only man unaffected by the current is Guy, demonic wings beating a fury above kitchen stadium as he laughs, and laughs, and laughs. "I never liked this relicked old kitchen. Even when I competed here, I knew I was destined for greater things. Things you can't yet imagine. But don't worry. Shhhh-shh-shh. Don't scream. We're going somewhere much grander than these dusty halls." "You've all got a one way ticket. TO FLAVORTOWN!!!" With a snap of his fingers the meringue swirled inward into a vortex. You struggle against the current but the creamed topping is too thick and moving too fast. The cool burn of the mint tortures your eyes but, through involuntary tears, you see a glistening void of stars at the heart of the twirling vortex. The sound of great ancient masonry cracking and crumbling is the final orchestra of you visit to Kitchen Stadium before you are thrust aggressively into silence, coldness, and empty space. For a brief few moments that persist timeless, you fall through a dimension of nothing. The space between spaces. Finally, thankfully, you land on cold gravel floor. In a world that is fully real. You see the members of Food Network Council imprisoned together behind rusted iron bars, with a rusted iron long-table. They all sit chained to cheap plastic chairs, looking around in bewilderment. Guy is the only exception, he crosses his arms, folds his wings and levers at the three competitors to reach the final round. With a sinister whisper he announces. "Welcome. To the Flavor Dungeon."
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Nov 3, 2018 03:31
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"I'm sure you're all wondering what all this has been about." Guy recites, begining a casual amble across the Flavor Dungeon. "SURE! You might think you understand! I bet you thought the whole time, 'Oh, big stupid Guy Fieri can't cook. He's been irritating the other Councilors for decades now. It's up to me to be the big stupid hero! Clean up the culinary world. Show that poser guy what real cuisine tastes like'. Right? RIGHT?!" "BWAHAHAHAHAhahahaaaa!!" From behind the iron bars Mario Batali shouts. "You destroyed Kitchen Stadium! Our most sacred and ancient stronghold! You madman! I'LL KILL YOU!!" "You'll do nothing of the sort Batali! You'll sit right where I put you. And you'll eat the food I cook for you. Kitchen Stadium may be no more, but the tournament persists. It's the final round. And all councilors will judge." The council grew pale and Guy's smile grew broad. "Ahh ... Its starting to dawn on you now. Isn't it? I'm so pleased." Guy Fieri swept over to Chef Boyardima and stood over him, jubilation painting every syllable of his maddened rant. "Many years ago, the council discovered that my pursuit of perfect cuisine was bringing me down ... paths. Paths they ... didn't approve of. There is a dark side to food, Boyardima, as there is a light side. Food can strengthen, it can also weaken. It can bring joy, it can also bring fear. Food can make friends. Food can also make ... thralls." He winked then, pulling Boyardima up by his flaming chin. The fiery Chef recoils and slaps the arm away, but Guy merely winks. "Imagine the power I could wield with the whole of Food Network Council as my willing servants. I did! All of their individual strengths, at my disposal? A dream come true. But, once they knew that my cuisine was tainted by the dark, I could never again convince them to dine with me. I tried, I tried for years. I CRAFTED THE FINEST FOOD IN EXISTANCE FOR THEM!! Laced with my own spells of submission, of course. And yet, they would never eat. So! I came up with a new plan. I cooked the worst food in existence. I pioneered abominations of cuisine they couldn't have designed in their worst nightmares. I was obnoxious. I played the fool. I broke things. I made them hate me. And I did all this knowing, some day, a tournament would be called. And some dashing young hero would step in to try and save the day. This is the moment I've been waiting for Boyardima because, you understand, they have to eat now. Ancient law dictates it." Guy stepped back and gestured wildly at Flavor Dungeon. "In this shrine of Dark Cuisine, my final victory is assured. You and I will cook against one another. My dish will over power yours and taint the councilors with my spells. And by the time their meal is finished, they'll be mine. All mine. Dark Cuisine will conquer the greatest Chefs of our age, all of them. In one fell swoop. But! That's not all I have planned... Let me give you the tour." Guy Fieri gestures behind Boyardima, and the competing chefs turn to see a gigantic creature. Like a rat. And also, like a dragon. Frothing at the mouth, chained by the neck, red eyes glowing in the dim light. Guy laughs as the competitors recoil, he clasped Boyardima on the shoulder once and calls out "Oh Tex! Oh Johnny! Come say hello to our guests!" From nowhere two men separate, shedding green tinted meringue. One is dressed like a beast tamer, tall and muscled covered in camofauge, khaki and cold ropes and many long knives. The other has his face hidden behind a dark hood and equally dark cloak. It flows around him in a spectral wind that no one else can feel. Guy smiles and walks backward to stand between the two ghastly men. "Tex Wasabi was my first apprentice." Guy says, smiling at the beast master. "And my Rat-Dragon is mostly his brainchild. The product of his hard work more than mine I'll freely admit. He's gifted. Who can take a rat and grow it into a ferocious, winged beast of war? We've had that rat dragon on a very special diet. Designed to make it strong. Angry. Perpetually hungry. And when we unleash it on the world, it will lay whole cities to waste. And city that opposes me." "Can a man get luckier than to find one loyal genius of the dark arts? I did. I found two. This is Johnny Garlic." He says gesturing to the black specter. "No one thought he'd be a gourmet. People are so prejudiced against the dead. But I saw potential in him. I took him from his crypt and trained him. He's seen the dark world, spoken with the things beyond. He has a pact with a small coterie of demons. Don't look for them, you won't see them. But its possible you'll feel them playing on the rawest parts of your psyche. They are in the room with us. And with the right meal, a correct sacrifice, they can be summoned. Loosed upon the world to bring possess the innocent with their own dark powers." "Tonight, aspiring chefs, I will taint the council. I will possess all of FLAVORTOWN with savage demons of cuisine. And will release my Rat Dragon to destroy any who would dare stand against me. Tonight I will become king of the Culinary World! And the only people who can stop me are trapped in That Cage.. Victims of their own ancient tradition. Do you see the beauty of it now?" A chilling gloom overtakes the room. A palpable hopelessness and fear that snuffs out both light and life. Guys evil apprentices chuckle, marching off to kitchen stations of their own hellish design. And through the torpor, the crisp formal voice of Alton speaks. "You're plan is very clever Guy. But you didn't account for one thing." Guy perks up. "And what might that be?" "You may have been a great chef once, Guy. You may be a greater chef than many. But Boyardima is a greater Chef than you ever were, or ever will be. The tournament continues. And you will lose Guy." "HA! I think not!" Bobby pulls against his chains in vain, before spitting over the table at Guy. "We may be fated to eat your devil's food Guy, but Boyardima's cuisine will save our souls. We'll never be your thralls! You dish doesn't stand a chance! And when you meal losses and our minds are left unstained -" Mario Batali interrupts, "Then! I'll Kill You!" Cat Cora chuckles. "That sounds like a plan to me." "The fate of the world is in your hands, Boyardima!" Wolfgang shouts. "You must defeat Guy Fieri! Only you can do it!" Martha grins and leans forward as much as her chains permit. "That's right sugar. And do be quick about it. These chains are dreadful."
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Nov 3, 2018 04:50
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TLDR: Three fights are happening now. 1)Boyardima vs Guy for the fate of the food network council. Create a dish to combat the dark spells of submission Guy is lacing into his cuisine. If you fail, the whole Council will succumb to Guy's dark power. Your meal will be judged by the whole Food Network Council. 2) Eat/Spicer vs Tex Wasabi. Tex is preparing a meal that will enrage the Rat-Dragon and set it on the war path. You must create a dish to calm the beast or otherwise subdue it. You meal will be judged by the Rat-Dragon. 3)Eat/Spicer vs Johnny Garlic. Johnny is preparing a meal to lure an army of demons into this plain of existence to possess the inhabitants of FLAVORTOWN. You must cook a meal capable of repelling the demons or otherwise fooling their invasion. You dish will be judged by the Demon Council. For all three flights, each chef is capable of summoning any ingredient they have cooked previously in the competition. Chef Boyardima will decide who Eat Punchbeef fights and who Spicer fights. Ultimate victory means winning all three fights. Ultimate failure means losing all three fights. A mix of victory and loss will result in a grey scale ending. Deadline is in roughly 72 hours. 10:00 PM Mountain Time on Monday. Good luck Chefs!
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Nov 3, 2018 05:00
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 "Fie and shame upon you, Johnny Garlic, for the dark path you tread leads not naught but further unto your own damnation." "And to you, demonic hosts, I offer you....war. Food war, the fighting flavors of smoke and spice! On the three plates before you I offer in culinary form the struggle all humanity will put up should you persist in these mad plans for incursion." "First, your appetizer: the organ of a duck, ripped out and fed to the grinder! Wasabi, sharp as knives! Pickled eggplant, tart and with a crunch like bones!" "Second, a salad fit for any legendary warrior of the battlefield. Bold peppers battle the savory smoked snake in a combined arms assault on your taste buds!" "And to conclude, your main: the fowl of the lake enriched in the smoke of battle! The taste of the earth inherent in every bite of the mushrooms and wild rice, the same earth that humanity will shed its very last drop of blood to defend!" "So heed my warnings, demons unseen, and return from whence you came. This invisible war you seek to wage will only end in your own destruction, your very eternal essences cast asunder upon the pyre of Fieri's ambition! יֹשֵׁב בְּסֵ֣תֶר עֶלְי֑וֹן בְּצֵ֥ל שַׁ֜דַּ֗י יִתְלוֹנָֽן" Smoked Duck Liver Pate duck liver - smoked wasabi (as strong ginger) - candied eggplant - preserved fresh bread - salamander Spicy Snake Salad SNAKE (8) [snake salami] - Smoked KALE - Raw Habanero Pepper - preserved Blue Cheese - Raw Smoked Goose with Mushrooms and Wild Rice goose - smoked -star mushrooms - preserved wild rice - stew
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Nov 6, 2018 03:39
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Eat looks decidedly unimpressed as Guy rattles off his villain monologue. Yes, yes, the man was clearly powerful. He'd whisked them all away to the dark realm that was Flavortown, after all. So yes, he had power. But it was so empty. For all of his talk of grand plans, Fieri was nothing more than Weiner at a larger scale. Ambitious, yes... but weak. Boyardima had faced those same weaknesses within himself and had overcome them. It had been a struggle, and the victory had not been flawless, but he had risen to the occasion. Fieri didn't stand a chance. But there was no time to stand aside and watch the beatdown that was surely coming. There was a job to do. "Hey Boyardima!" Eat said as he cracked his knuckles. "Don't worry about the SIDE DISHES. Spicer and I are MORE THAN A MATCH for them. You just FOCUS on the MAIN COURSE. Personally, I suggest you GIVE HIM A GOOD ROASTING. But BEFORE YOU DO..." Eat stabs his hand out to the side, disappearing into nothingness lined by that familiar blue glow, before he retracts it, groceries in hand, which he tosses to his fellow chefs. "A LITTLE GIFT, to CELEBRATE your VICTORY." That finished, Eat takes up the workstation across from Tex Wasabi. The man was impressive enough--not quite as mountainous as Eat's own prodigious physique, but far closer than most could manage. Clearly raising that Rat Dragon had been no easy task. It was a pity, really. If he had put that time and effort towards anything else... he would have been a man Eat could have respected. As it was... "NOT BAD" Eat declared. "You've WORKED HARD. I can RESPECT that. I'm really SORRY that all that WORK will be a TOTAL WASTE OF YOUR TIME. Because that "DRAGON" is GOING NOWHERE. Not once I'm DONE WITH IT. After all... you can't FLY on a FULL BELLY. You think it's INSATIABLE? That just means you CAN'T MAKE FILLING FOOD. Watch and LEARN! THIS is how you HUNT a DRAGON! THIS is the POWER of STRONG CUISINE!" "FIRST! We have BEAR STEAK! Its POWER has been PROVEN, TIME and TIME AGAIN, and I CALL UPON IT ONCE MORE! But this WON'T be presented AS-IS! No... this, we'll CUBE, then GRILL, and it will be the BAIT! The dragon won't just be eating MEAT... it'll be eating CARBS! BEHOLD! NOODLES, PAN-FRIED to PERFECTION! MORELS, the WOODLAND KING OF MUSHROOMS, PAN FRIED and MIXED into a HEAVY, CREAM-BASED SAUCE! This is BEAR STROGANOFF! So DELICIOUS you CAN'T STOP EATING! So FILLING, you CAN'T LEAVE YOUR SEAT!" "But DON'T THINK I'm STOPPING THERE! No, I know it'll take MORE THAN THAT to STOP A DRAGON! So NEXT, we turn to PUMPKIN! A MIGHTY INGREDIENT INDEED!" Eat slams four pumpkins down onto the table, two in each hand. So powerful is the impact that they instantly fall into quarters, the guts, stems, and seeds left in a neat pile on the counter. "First... we BAKE the pumpkins! Then... we MASH the pumpkins! We REDUCE them to a FINE PUREE! The FLAVORS OF AUTUMN, with a HINT OF SWEETNESS! But that SMOOTH TEXTURE ALONE would LOSE A DRAGON'S INTEREST! So we'll SALAMANDER THESE ALMONDS, throwing them in for that EXCELLENT CRUNCH. And on TOP of ALL OF THIS... An ORANGE GLAZE, prepared by the SECRET METHODS OF THE STRONG STYLE! This MAY SEEM STRANGE. After all, won't the SOUR and FRESH notes of the orange RILE THE APPETITE? Well, that's EXACTLY RIGHT. Because I DON'T WANT the dragon to GIVE UP HALFWAY. To TRULY DEFEAT IT, we'll need to LURE IT ALONG, so that it can be AMBUSHED by DESSERT!" "AND NOW! THE FINISHING BLOW! We have... A CHOCOLATE CAKE! Now, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING, TEX! You think that's FAR FROM ENOUGH! You've RAISED YOUR RAT to be able to HANDLE THAT MUCH! And that'd be TRUE... if this were some ORDINARY CAKE! This is the kind of TRAP that can ONLY BE LAID BY THE STRONG! For WITHIN this cake lies a MOLTEN HEART of DARK CHOCOLATE! With ONE BITE, your DRAGON will be ENSNARED! It will have NO CHOICE but to CONTINUE! And all the while, that HOT, RICH FUDGE will be WEIGHING IT DOWN WITH WARMTH! It will REALIZE ITS MISTAKE and SEEK RESPITE... SEEK CONTRAST... and it will SEE upon the PLATE... ICE CREAM! ITS SALVATION! But this MILK CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM is a FALSE HOPE! As it DEVOURS it, as it DIVES IN, it will find SWEETNESS BEYOND IMAGINING! PERFECT CREAMINESS THE LIKES OF WHICH THE WORLD HAS NEVER SEEN! IT WILL GROW HEAVIER STILL! AND YET, IT WILL NOT BE ABLE TO STOP! Because the TOPPING... those FRESH RASPBERRIES, that RASPBERRY SAUCE... they will be JUST ENOUGH to DRAW THE DRAGON TO ITS DOOM! THEY WILL EGG IT ONWARDS! IT WILL EAT, AND EAT, AND EAT, AND WHEN THE MEAL IS FINISHED... THIS RICH, SWEET, FILLING MEAL... SO TOO WILL BE THE DRAGON! IT WILL BE DONE FOR! IT WILL HAVE FOUND THE SATIETY IT HAS BEEN DENIED FOR SO MANY YEARS! IT WILL NOT KNOW HOW TO FACE IT! IT WILL HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO FALL INTO A SLUMBER SO DEEP, WHO KNOWS WHEN IT MIGHT AWAKEN? THIS IS THE TRUTH YOU COULD HAVE BEEN PURSUING ALL OF THESE YEARS, TEX. THIS IS POTENTIAL THAT YOU HAD WITHIN YOURSELF, BUT WHICH YOU DENIED IN FAVOR OF THE DARKNESS OF FLAVORTOWN. THIS! IS! STRONG COOKING code:The Lord of Hats fucked around with this message at 12:06 on Nov 6, 2018 |
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Nov 6, 2018 04:13
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Tex Wasabi's Offering **...Dramatic Story In Progress...** Flame-Roasted Pork Chops Marinated in Sweet And Peppery Korean Barbecue Sauce Pork Chops - Open Fire - Star Ingredient Pineapple - Science Lemon Grass - Preserve Habanero - Raw Over A Bed Of Nutrient Rich Lentils Tossed With Soft Cashews And Topped With Shredded Grapefruit Relish Lentils - Pressure Cook Cashews - Pressure Cook Grapefruit - Science Broiled Yam Tart Paired With A Single Scoop Of Espresso Ice Cream Yam - Salamander Espresso - Ice Cream
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Nov 6, 2018 05:22
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Boyardima faces Guy Fieri down, flames searing hot - he's practically incandescent, but not a single drop of sweat can be found upon his determined face.  Turning to where his station awaited, Boyardima took a deep breath... and then began to cook the best meal of his life.  ---  Summoned Habanero Salmon Kale Wasabi Truffles Sugar Cane  Received from EAT PUNCHBEEF Creme Fraiche Caviar (Roe)  Received from Spicer425° Blessed Tenderloin ---  First, the Habanero Peppers go into a smoker, similar to the one that he became fond of from Kitchen Stadium. Next, Boyardima hefts a glorious Blessed Tenderloin, admiring it for a moment before vacuum-sealing it in a plastic bag (using molten fingertips, you notice) and placing it in a large pot of water heated by a familiar-looking sous vide wand - shockingly similar to the one a certain departed chef once wielded. The oven dings, signaling readiness for Boyardima's next culinary maneuver. Filets of Salmon - a constant companion - are placed within, followed by spears of Sugar Cane. But surprisingly, Boyardima leaves it at that - the humble oven shall not be strained to its limits this time! Instead, he sets a pot of water bubbling away - held between his hands, of course - before placing it upon the stove and tossing a rich The rest is simple. Truffles are diced into small pieces, and placed above a steaming fryer - ready for final assembly. Wasabi - in what has rapidly become Boyardima's trademark contribution to cuisine - is candied in small chunks. The remaining ingredients are prepared fresh - crisp Kale, flavorful Creme Fraiche, and eye-poppingly salty Caviar. "Judges. I present you with a tasting course. But not just any set of nibbles... no. This meal represents my journey through this competition." The truffle chips are quickly fried off, joining the turtle meat and kale in a complex salad. "Much like the humble turtle, my initial ventures in this competition lagged well behind my expectations. But I persisted - persevered - and made my way ever forward, despite every attack aimed my way." The marvellous tenderloin comes out of the sous vide, and Boyardima quickly sears it with a gout of brutal flame before laying perfectly pink slices upon each judge's plate. Individual filets of salmon join it. But that isn't all - sliced smoky rings of habanero adorn the salmon, and a tangy dollop of creme fraiche atop the beef supports a picture-perfect scoop of caviar. "As I fought onward, I never forgot my beginnings as a man of the sea - why, my first entry was a humble fish taco! Surprising to think of, now. But I learned to marry that with the lessons that the other chefs - and Councilors, of course - had to offer. Combining many influences into one unexpected whole has brought me before you today." Finally, a somewhat familiar sight - chunks of candied wasabi skewered upon crackling-sweet roasted spears of sugar cane. "And finally... we all know of Guy's propensity for certain flavors. Sweet, salty, spicy. But he sacrifices so much for these extremes... this is my answer to him. You can create the same shocking interplay of flavors with far richer results, without needing to sacrifice all that he has!"  A Succulent Start Kale - Raw Truffle - Deep Fry Surf and Turf, Boyardima Style Salmon - Bake Habanero Pepper - Smoke Blessed Tenderloin - Sous Vide - *Star Ingredient!* Creme Fraiche - Raw Caviar (Roe) - Raw Skewered Surprise Wasabi - Candied Sugar Cane - Bake Host-ok'd Edit: Assuming EAT agrees, I hand him enough money to buy a Lobster and then replace the Turtle with that. Cooking method is still Boil. Podima fucked around with this message at 13:20 on Nov 6, 2018 |
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Nov 6, 2018 05:26
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Johnny Garlic's Offering **...Dramatic Story In Progress...** Fresh Crab Cake Crowned With A Runny Yolk Quail Egg Crab - Steam - Star Ingredient Panko - Salamander Quail Egg - Pan Fry Creamy Stew of Autumnal Vegetables Cauliflower - Stew Celery Root - Stew Truffles - Raw Juniper Tart With Fresh Mascerates Blueberries And A White Chocolate Drizzle Juniper Berries - Bake - Blueberries - Raw Sugar Cane - Open Fire White Chocolate - Boil
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Nov 6, 2018 05:58
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"Let's talk about MY culinary story, bros! I've been shakin' it up since day one, as you all know. Break the rules. Shake the rules. Quake some fools. Stay cool. That me! That's me from day one!" "PLEASE GOD MAKE HIM STOP!!" Wolfgang shouts from the steel cage. Guy smirks and smacks the lid from a pressure cooker with a casual flap of a single wing. "So I looked at the appetizer course and I said 'Fwaaah!?!' Dudes! It's the first course! You gotta make 'em love you! Throwing some vegetables on a plate isn't gonna glue anyone to their chairs! That salad isn't even cooked! How can you call yourself a cook when you're not cooking, Brah?" From a black void above his kitchen station red and green cabbage plummets into the bottom of the open pressure cooker. Guy throws some salt and extra virgin olive oil into the container and seals the lid with a boyish smile. "I wanted to cook something people would love. So I asked myself, what do people love? And I knew the answer immediately. Me. People love me. I'm sharp, I'm zingy. I'm smoky, I'm mysterious. I'm hot! I'm so, totally, disproportionately attractive. So much more than other people. All I had to do then was put that poo poo into a salad!" With an incredible sense of dread you watch Guy Fieri pull chicken hearts out of a refrigerator and start rough chopping them. "But food should be a journey too bros! It's not enough to give people my beautiful soul on a plate, I've got to transport them! To a beach! That's where I would go if I was taking myself. The beach! DUDE, I would take me so hard. To the beach." Where did that caviar come from? It sure looked like he pulled it out of a pocket. Doesn't caviar normally come in a jar? "And Voila! A star is born! And that star cooked a kick-rear end salad. Smoky Hot Heartbreaker Salad With A Living Sea Garnish. code:It actually doesn't look ... bad? It smells much worse than it looks. A bed of colorful, thin chopped cabbage holding pickles and gamey mouthfuls of smokey chicken heart. The whole bowl threw steam and sat in a thin natural dressing of it's own succulent juice, mixed with a little vinegar. Garnished with caviar. It did actually smell, at least a little, like the sea. "What came next was Off The Hook! I looked around and I realized that I was ALREADY the best Chef in existence. Had been since day one brahs, day one! It was sobering, really sobering, knowing for sure that no one could out cook me. I was looking around for my peers but it was just me. All alone at the top of the ladder. All alone in the world. So alone... ...Alone... ...All Alone... ...And then I met Demons!" Alton was staring, his jaw hanging low with both eyebrows held high. "He just keeps talking. he whispers to himself. "He just keeps talking, but he isn't saying anything." Guy was busy shucking oysters at his station, throwing the meat one by one into a stainless steel deep fryer and the shells over his shoulder into a pile on the floor behind him. "Those Demons gave me a real firm talking to. They opened my eyes, woke me up, TOOK ME OUT OF MY SHELL ... burned my immortal soul, stained my hair, gave me wings ... Man, it was a time. I saw the world for what it really was. And that was when I realized, I wanted to be more. So I could give more." Now he was emptying a bottle of mint paste onto a baking sheet which went directly onto the anti-gridle. "But if I gave more ... than people would get too full. The trick is to give more, but in smaller portions. And that's when I invented my signature encore - Cold Slap To The Fraiche Oyster Po'Boy Sliders!" code:It really wasn't unthinkable. Tiny Po'boys. With oysters instead of shrimp. Sure, the cracked frozen shards of mint paste and creme fraiche interspersed in the sandwich looked a little unwieldy to chew around. But, in some ways, the challenge was exciting. It made you want to eat the little sandwiches more, just to prove that you could... What on earth was happening to you? Rachel Ray releases a gut rending scream. "This is unnatural!" "I think a lot about desert. Because I care a lot about how everything is going to end. Some people tell me I care too much! I kill those people." Guy actually stops talking for a moment and throws an awkward glance to the judges table. He changes his stare to something nervous and eyes Chef Boyardima. As strange seconds pass into a strange minute Guy's expression turns into something contemplative. Finally he shrugs. "Eh. No harm in honesty! Yeah, I kill people! What, are you gonna try and make me feel weird about it?" With a boyish chuckle he returns to his work and extracts a T-Bone Steak from the freezer. Along with Peanut Butter. "I want people to know that the 'end' is really just the next course. And its gonna be the Biggest Course Ever! You can't make an omelette unless your willing to do some dreadful, unforgivable things. But those horrors, they're just gonna make the next course sweeter. So when I think of dessert, I say 'give 'em everything they ever wanted'! That's how you get customers in seats."Now he was candying bacon in grape jam. Had he gone mad? Or have you gone mad? There was a T-bone steak on the grill and the man was talking about dessert. For this desert, I want you all to remember that, just because this is the last meal any one will ever eat in the old world we leave behind, doesn't mean it isn't also the first meal anyone will ever meet in the new world that we create. Consequently, I've provided a childhood favorite, paired with an adult favorite, paired with everyone's favorite! I call it P-B&Bacon, A T-Boy's Best Friend. code:What exactly was wrong with having steak for dessert? You're not sure you know anymore. Its sweet enough. T-Bone has a natural meaty sweetness anyway and it doesn't pair terribly with a peanut butter marinade. The peanut butter really picks up the flavor of the grill. And all of that sweet chopped bacon just thrown on top of the steak in a sticky, candied mound ... honestly it looked like it would be fun to eat. It was almost ... hypnotizing. ... Perhaps it was hypnotizing. Literally hypnotizing. "Welcome to the New World Order. Your orders are ready. Please. Dig in. *-*-*-*-*-* Smoky Hot Heartbreaker Salad With A Living Sea Garnish. code:Cold Slap To The Fraiche Oyster Po'Boy Sliders!" code:P-B&Bacon, A T-Boy's Best Friend. code:
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Nov 6, 2018 09:32
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Johnny GarlicOne of the Demons posted:Hmm… I question if you truly know us and our tastes. There’s much you need to flush out of your brain. The seasonal crap and fruit has no business being here, not without being smothered in high fructose corn syrup or chocolate. Still… Can’t complain about the rest... One helpless consumer posted:Mmmmmm! Reminds me of Thanksgiv-a-rama Thursday at O'Chilibees! Can I get an extra cocktail? Maybe a pitcher? Well, what about your phone then? Spicer 425* One of the Demons posted:... Where’s the goddamn decadence? The overprocessed crap? The pink slime!? The mountains of sugar!? Who are you!? How is this supposed to bring be the old ways you sham!? One helpless consumer posted:-HSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!- Away! Away foul dish! Gimme some Italian dressing! A whole bottle of it! Or a gallon of soy sauce! Anything to make the horror go away! Tex Wasabi The Rat Dragon posted:Approximate feeling... EAT PUNCHBEEF The Rat Dragon posted:Approximate feeling...
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Nov 7, 2018 06:40
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From the Final Battle:Rachael Ray posted:Another quality set of dishes from you Chef. I think I’m gonna need them if I have to stomach everything else. Masaharu Morimoto posted:... *glares at plates*... Martha Stewart posted:This… is so bad, Guy. I don’t… like… the… way… they… taste... Chef Boyardima’s dishes were actual food, but… why? Why can’t I stop thinking about the chicken hearts? They’re terrible. And yet… I... Bobby Flay posted:Chef… I couldn’t be more proud of you. You’re gonna be great if you survive this. If we all survive this.... But drat me if I’m not gonna get through this! Mario Batali posted:I can’t stop eating this… I can’t stop eating this! I don’t know what the taste is! I don’t know what taste is! I feel like my mouth’s gone numb! Where’s the water!? Hell, where’s the limoncella!? Masaharu Morimoto’s Translator posted:*snarf*gently caress these dishes! gently caress!...These! Dishes! You’ve turned Morimoto into stone with ‘em! If I hear the word Flavortown again when I’m old and gray, it’ll be too soon! *gobblesnarf* And I can't even form coherent thoughts without another one of these sliders Wolfgang Puck posted:*frowning* I knew we should’ve killed you when we had the chance! I told them all Guy! And once you’ve been bested, you and your… Flavor Town will never darken Kitchen Stadium again! Right?... Right??? Alton Brown posted:Guy, look at what you’re doing! You’re trying to force together things that might only make sense on paper! I mean… I guess using seafood with mint would work, but not with everything else you’ve added. And the other two dishes?... I… I can’t even articulate how crazy your other dishes are. They defy logic! Cat Cora posted:Don’t think about them. Don’t think about them. Don’t think about them. Don’t think about them. Don’t think about them. Don’t think about them. Don’t think about them. Don’t think about them. AnAnonymousIdiot fucked around with this message at 06:51 on Nov 7, 2018 |
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Nov 7, 2018 06:46
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Eat Punchbeef Vs Tex Wasabi The Rat Dragon dances between both dishes, nostrils flaring madly. It salivated over Tex's hot, sharp offering, it buries its face in Eat's unctuous, silky pie. It howls madly. Finally, it stands on its hind legs. Tex crosses his arms and smiles coldly at Eat as his evil dragon raises both wings, preparing to take flight. He says only one word. "Insatiable." There is a tremendous crash. You look back to see that the rat dragon has fallen onto its belly. It's open wings wrap warmly around its core as it's eyes faded closer and closer to closing. It releases a yawn. And a noise more peaceful than it has made in its entire lifetime. The Beast has fallen asleep. Eat Punch Beef - 195 Tex Wasabi - 183 Spicer Vs Johnny Garlic For reasons unknown the scent of both dishes disappears from the room. As you watch, bite sized portions of both dishes begin to disappear from their plates. In the unconscious void, you hear howling. Spicer's plate begins to shake. Something unseen appears to be attempting to topple it. The shaking grows intense as the shadows to coalesce around the plate. But, the shadows alone are not powerful enough. Spicer's dish stands. The shadows retreat back to Johnn'y plate. More of his food disappears as strange shapes begin to grow from the offering. A terrible specter sprouts from Johnny's crab cake. Red skinned, winged, horned and wearing upside down sunglasses. It is only formed from the waist up out of Johnny's meal, but it laughs an evil cackle and swipes Spicer's dish to the ground with a newly formed arm. The Demon Legion has taken form. Johnny Garlic - 178 Spicer - 156 Chef Boyardima Vs Guy Fieri One by one, the council begins to shake, tremble and cry. Morimoto's hair begins to turn white. Bobby Flay grows a little plump. Guy Fieri doesn't even watch them, he only stares at Boyardima, cold and merciless victory in his eyes. As the moaning grows more quiet and a calm returns to The Flavor Dungeon, Guy calls to his fellow Councilors. "Food Network Council. Bros. I think the answer here is pretty clear. Do you agree?" "Yes, Guy. Yes we do." The judges say in unison. "SAY IT!!" You fear for what comes next. You fear for the council. You fear for the world. In unison, the judges stand, their chains relinquished. "Guy Fieri ... You are now and forever more BANISHED FROM THE FOOD NETWORK COUNCIL!!"" He whips around so quickly his wings generate a small sonic eruption. "It Can't Be!" The council stands, noble and proud. Any trace of Guy's villainous cuisine has left them, the judges have been cleansed by the power of Boyardima's meal. If anything, they seem stronger than before. They almost glow with power. "You're power was never great enough to Challenge Boyardima, Guy. Your plan was doomed from the moment this tournament began." Alton quietly intoned. "But! You did destroy Kitchen Stadium! Put all of us in a cage! Royally pissed off the strongest wizards in existence!" Wolfgang shout. "... Not a smart move, Guy." Martha says, tutting demurly. Batali is next, aggressively popping his knuckles. "I think we owe him a little something..." "HEY! HEY HEY HEY!" Bobby Flay shouts before crossing his arms and throwing you the warmest smile of your life "My fellow Chefs, if anyone here has earned the honor ... Its Chef Boyardima." Guy Fieri rounds on you with genuine fear in his eyes. You hear the encouraging voice of Bobby, edging you forward. "Take out the trash, kid. Make this kitchen clean again." Chef Boyardima - 301 Guy Fieri - 245 *-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Flavor posts and final actions. It's the epilogue guys. When you've all had an opportunity to demonstrate your final doings and neatly wrap up your character arches, I'll put up a post detailing the future of the culinary world. A world that you have all created, together, by the sweat of your brows and the strength of your cuisine. Fantastic job to all three of you. You have reached the end of the game. And secured a largely positive ending. Congratulation. Thank you all so much for playing. And a huge thank you to everyone who participated with this madness. Running D5 has been an incredible experience. And an incredible learning experience. I can't wait to discuss the game with all of you in sharp and real detail. Keep being amazing guys. KhediveRex fucked around with this message at 07:01 on Nov 9, 2018 |
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Nov 9, 2018 06:38
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At last, it was over....almost. As the dragon's snores echoed through the hall, and the assembled kitchen luminaries hastened to congratulate their newest Councilor, Spicer remained alone in taciturn consideration. EAT had soothed the savage dragon, and Boyardima had defeated the Prime Evil and achieved culinary apotheosis but he - he had failed. His dish was just not capable of warding off the looming evil, and he would not permit this evil to take hold. He could not.  In his hand, the control unit for the Chronal Accelerator, charged and ready to take him back to the Future he had played a small role in saving. Home, restored and freed of the gastronomic tyranny that had burdened it for far too long. Home, beckoning and waiting, the end of his travails and tribulations in sight at last. Home, that would have to wait a bit longer. "Hey Demon, it seems you had some complaints with your meal, so here's a dish on the house." Step 1. Prep  Without a second thought, Spicer pushed the "Emergency Chronojump" button, and the Accelerator began to shake and crackle with an uncontrollable energy. Step 2. Serve "Bon Appetite, Beezlebub." With that, Spicer hurled the ticking temporal timebomb at the still manifesting demonic presence. Before the shadowy form could react, it was enveloped in a mighty explosion.  As sight and sound returned to those remaining in the Stadium, all that remained of the Demonic Legion was a smouldering crater in the ground, filled with the mechanical detritus of what used to be a Chronal Accelerator. "I do not know how far forward the Host has been sent, but it hopefully gives us time to prepare, time for me to atone for my failure. But as it seems I'm now going to be a visitor to this time longer than I had planned, at least while I reconstruct the Accelerator...anyone have space for a roommate?
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Nov 10, 2018 00:38
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Upon seeing the end of the competition, Mari happily jumps out of her seat and runs down to hug the remaining chefs. She looks much better - no devil horns or forked tongue anymore. The only damage she seems to have taken is a small scar on her cheek. You all did it You defeated Guy Fairy, thank you so so much! My hometown and I are forever in your debt. You're all welcome to come visit Fairyfield whenever you'd like a nice weekend getaway in the woods. She pauses. Actually, with Boyardima we might want to wait until the dry season is over..? Hmm. Anyways! I'm so sorry for any trouble I may have caused to anyone throughout this competition  I didn't want to do what he was telling me, but I was scared of what might happen if I didn't.She hands Spicer her possum hat. This is for you. Thank you so much for your part in stopping Scari. I couldn't react, but I was able to see everything that happened and I appreciate everything that you did. She hands Eat what appears to be a large stuffed rabbit's foot from her purse. I never ended up cooking with this and I didn't want it to go to waste, so I made this for you. It's good luck! Thank you so much for giving me your trust, even when I didn't warrant it, and for teaching me what STRONG cooking looks like. She takes an ornate wood-crafted statue of Boyardima out of her purse. I made this for you, Sir Boyardima. Thank you so much for overtaking Mr. Fieri from the council, and for your kind words about me to Scari when I was under her control. I will be eternally grateful for what you did and hope that we can remain friends forever. She looks down, realizing that it was wrong to use sticks for a gift for someone made out of fire. She puts the statue down at his feet, gives a small bow to show appreciation, and then skips back up to her seat in the audience.
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Nov 10, 2018 01:44
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 I will wear it with pride
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Nov 10, 2018 02:00
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 After accepting Mari's gift and nodding his thanks to her (but wisely leaving it to the side until he had a chance to cool off a bit) Boyardima rounded upon Guy Fieri, advancing slowly upon the demonic has-been chef. As Guy cowered before the waves of searing heat coursing off of Boyardima... the fiery chef cracked a rare smile.         
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Nov 11, 2018 01:59
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