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Stop stringing me along with these bad puns
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Oct 12, 2016 20:09
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spankmeister posted:Stop stringing me along with these bad puns What's going on with this thread? Someone spinning a yarn?
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Oct 12, 2016 20:17
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Malek posted:What's going on with this thread? Someone spinning a yarn?
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Oct 12, 2016 20:25
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Arsten posted:Conversation of the day:
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Oct 12, 2016 20:30
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"What does Infotainment Telekinetics do?"
"Uh...Advertise with their mind? What are you talking about?"
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thimble sewing cross stitch I hate you all
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Oct 12, 2016 20:39
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Migishu posted:thimble 
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Oct 12, 2016 21:01
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mllaneza posted:"How did it work in rehearsal ?"  : I'd like to take a moment in this meeting to point out that I was really embarrassed during the conference presentation, because the screen sharing tool The Macaroni showed me totally blew up in my face! There were a lot of VIPs on that call and they were really disappointed.Me: Yikes, I'm really sorry to hear that. What exactly happened? : The screensharing window just kept looping in on itself until it froze my computer.Me: Oh right, it does that unless you adjust the setting I mentioned to you last week. I also suggested that you try it out before the presentation. How'd that go? ... She was gone in the next round of layoffs. I should've felt worse but didn't.
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Oct 12, 2016 21:03
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The company I work for has a lovely loving web store and wants to poo poo can it and hire a company to host, build and maintain a brand new one. Anyone have recommendations?
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Oct 12, 2016 21:37
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mllaneza posted:"How did it work in rehearsal ?" "We're not supposed to have to rehearse! I should just show up and it works.!" That's the response I got once.
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Oct 12, 2016 22:12
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We're adding 45 more people to our company this fiscal year! YAY! 0 people in IT. 
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Oct 12, 2016 23:25
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We just hired 5 new techs and I don't even get to finish training my last one before the next one comes. They also announced they're rolling out 24/7 support next year. No way that's related, though...
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Oct 12, 2016 23:36
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Our directors seem intent on de-skilling as much as possible (because we have managed to take on so many useless fucks) and rather than doing anything in-house, just act as a broker and purchase network kit etc. fully supported and configured from a VAR, slap a margin on top of this, and then resell it. Nobody seems to have got to the part of the plan where this pushes margins to gently caress all because you're going to be taking the price that a prospective customer of ours could pay direct from a VAR, and adding more on top as well as having to do a bunch of administrative work yourself as far as billing, shipping, answering the phone and then phoning the vendor etc. goes. I understand the idea of outsourcing what isn't your core business, or areas where you aren't proficient, but this is kind of insane.
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Oct 12, 2016 23:37
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sfwarlock posted:"We're not supposed to have to rehearse! I should just show up and it works.!" "So you didn't rehearse a $5 million new business pitch, lost out, and it's the projector's fault ?"
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Oct 13, 2016 00:32
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mllaneza posted:"So you didn't rehearse a $5 million new business pitch, lost out, and it's the projector's fault ?" "No, it's your fault, because fixing the projector is your job. Or I mean, it was your job. Go pack your things."
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Oct 13, 2016 00:35
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JewKiller 3000 posted:"No, it's your fault, because fixing the projector is your job. Or I mean, it was your job. Go pack your things." This is the correct response.
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Oct 13, 2016 01:06
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The Macaroni posted:Yep. Not $5mil, but I had a similar experience. No one would ever not reply with "It worked fine when I tried it"
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Oct 13, 2016 08:22
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SEKCobra posted:No one would ever not reply with "It worked fine when I tried it" What time was that? I'll need to compare the logs to troubleshoot (even if there are no logs).
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Oct 13, 2016 14:48
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baquerd posted:What time was that? I'll need to compare the logs to troubleshoot (even if there are no logs). Still, you won't prove poo poo in that meeting. It would be an awkward pissing contest for sure.
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Oct 13, 2016 15:09
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SEKCobra posted:Still, you won't prove poo poo in that meeting. It would be an awkward pissing contest for sure. You don't need to prove it, you just need to bring enough doubt that its not "loving IT". You can then have time to dig out the emails that prove you right, and get them to reproduce the fault after doing what they should have. Or they just grumble and bitch and the issue is forgotten.
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Oct 13, 2016 15:40
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Siochain posted:You don't need to prove it, you just need to bring enough doubt that its not "loving IT". You can then have time to dig out the emails that prove you right, and get them to reproduce the fault after doing what they should have. Or they just grumble and bitch and the issue is forgotten. You need to pick battles small enough that you can win, and large enough to matter. Sometimes you just gotta get poo poo on because everyone is wallowing around in poo poo at that company.
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Oct 13, 2016 16:21
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SEKCobra posted:No one would ever not reply with "It worked fine when I tried it" Amazingly enough, all I got from the VP of New Business was blank stare and dead silence. It was quiet enough that I could hear the two other VIPs called in (one of 'em was the guy who came up with the "Got Milk" campaign, how much clout do you think he had ?) changing their target lock from me to the new biz guy.
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Oct 13, 2016 16:47
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pixaal posted:You need to pick battles small enough that you can win, and large enough to matter. Sometimes you just gotta get poo poo on because everyone is wallowing around in poo poo at that company. This, and even though it sounds like bad "enabling" behavior, request that the person who had problems get in touch with you prior to their future presentations. Keep an email trail and CC anyone that needs to know, basically a CYA move that says you're willing to help out to make sure things go smoothly. Then, laugh in their stupid face next time they try throwing you under the bus and you have a paper trail proving they didn't bother contacting you. You'd be surprised how well it works to weed out lazy idiots.
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Oct 13, 2016 16:58
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SEKCobra posted:Still, you won't prove poo poo in that meeting. It would be an awkward pissing contest for sure. That's the point - obviously they didn't test it, so you can use whatever time they give you, pull up the Windows Event Logs, show absolutely no errors at that time and you're golden. Even if there may not be an Event Log entry type for what they're talking about, now it's up to them to be more specific about what they tried and they just end up digging themselves a deeper hole.
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Oct 13, 2016 18:08
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The CFO brought down the company servers due to Hurricane Matthew and brought them back up on Sunday or so. All of a sudden, everything is running faster than ever. Correct me if I'm wrong, but is there something wrong if server performance downgrades to the point of freezing until you reboot it? I just realized that this ALWAYS happens; it locks up, then they reboot and it's fine for a while, repeat ad nauseam. I'm not in IT, so I don't know for sure, but it seems a bit off. loving idiots...
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Oct 13, 2016 18:12
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D34THROW posted:The CFO brought down the company servers due to Hurricane Matthew and brought them back up on Sunday or so. All of a sudden, everything is running faster than ever.
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Oct 13, 2016 18:16
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I mean, my gut diagnosis is that some of the software running on those servers has a memory leak. If those servers are running in-house code written in C++, the odds are not bad that's the case.
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Oct 13, 2016 18:18
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anthonypants posted:It could be running faster because there are fewer servers or users connected to it, like for example if you have other servers or users affected by Hurricane Matthew. No, if anything, it's more bogged-down because the business deals heavily in storm protection, both DIY and done by our contractors, and everyone and their sister wants it now, and all our locations were back in operation Monday. Everything is run off the central servers at the corporate HQ, which is its own shitshow. Greatbacon posted:I mean, my gut diagnosis is that some of the software running on those servers has a memory leak. Not in-house per se but a heavily customized version of Dynamics NAV, tons of modules and stuff to make it work about halfway to where they want it to.
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Oct 13, 2016 19:39
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D34THROW posted:The CFO brought down the company servers due to Hurricane Matthew and brought them back up on Sunday or so. All of a sudden, everything is running faster than ever. Memory leak.
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Oct 13, 2016 21:20
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Client: "So if we archive footage to S3 in our MAM it will go offline in Premiere. How do we re-link it?" Me:  You restore it If there is anything that will make me consider leaving this company it's this client.
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Oct 13, 2016 22:03
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pr0digal posted:Client: "So if we archive footage to S3 in our MAM it will go offline in Premiere. How do we re-link it?" "If I lock my car, how do I get back into it?" 
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Oct 13, 2016 22:11
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"$User deleted faxes from $dir and now can't find them"
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Oct 13, 2016 22:46
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The Oracle consultants we've had occupying our small conference room for the past three or so months have left the projector on 24/7. Today one of them came over to complain that the light turns on but it's really dim and then shuts off after a few minutes.
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Oct 14, 2016 00:05
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anthonypants posted:The Oracle consultants we've had occupying our small conference room for the past three or so months have left the projector on 24/7. Today one of them came over to complain that the light turns on but it's really dim and then shuts off after a few minutes. they can get you a replacement but you probably dont want to pay that much
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Oct 14, 2016 00:23
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Proud Christian Mom posted:they can get you a replacement but you probably dont want to pay that much WE can get a replacement for you guys, but it's going to cost $500 a minute to run.
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Oct 14, 2016 01:03
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Is there a reason Microsoft's RDP client for Mac wouldn't connect to a terminal server? Our official stance is "We don't support Macs" but the sales guys keep saying "Oh yeah, you can use macs, it's just RDP" and management keeps allowing them to log calls instead of telling them to gently caress off. I asked management what we're supposed to tell the customers and they said "oh tell them we don't support macs then send them this doc on how to install Jump Desktop and the server settings." And of course that doesn't work, neither do any of the half dozen other remote desktop apps people have tried. And of course the datacenter admins just say "dunno, we don't support macs, not looking into it." 
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Oct 14, 2016 03:07
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The built in Remote Connection or whatever is a steaming pile of poo poo. Download Microsoft Remote Desktop from the App Store (it's got a red-orange icon) and use that.
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Oct 14, 2016 03:25
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SeaborneClink posted:The built in Remote Connection or whatever is a steaming pile of poo poo. This is the correct answer.
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Oct 14, 2016 03:43
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Anyone else got a BOATLOAD of tickets because Globalsign was a bunch of cunts?
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Oct 14, 2016 07:21
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A Pinball Wizard posted:Is there a reason Microsoft's RDP client for Mac wouldn't connect to a terminal server? Our official stance is "We don't support Macs" but the sales guys keep saying "Oh yeah, you can use macs, it's just RDP" and management keeps allowing them to log calls instead of telling them to gently caress off. I asked management what we're supposed to tell the customers and they said "oh tell them we don't support macs then send them this doc on how to install Jump Desktop and the server settings." And of course that doesn't work, neither do any of the half dozen other remote desktop apps people have tried. And of course the datacenter admins just say "dunno, we don't support macs, not looking into it." Even if your RDS/TS has per user licenses it has to issue a license to the machine as well (if you check the licensing manager it has unlimited per-device licenses), so I could imagine that's where you might be getting tripped up. Are there any error logs pertaining to a failure to issue a device CAL? Fwiw I've seen it work on iOS devices so  that's just my best guess.
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Oct 14, 2016 11:13
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Nuclearmonkee posted:So today I was working on straightening out a horrible mess of a fiber setup at one of the larger facilities. There's large amounts of OM2 strung all over nearly at random, looped through various patch panels, also seemingly at random. Example patch panel: I see the Alien franchise reboot table readings are already taking place.
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Oct 14, 2016 11:36
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. After walking around and looking for a while I figure out the resulting broadcast shitstorm on their beautiful single /16 broadcast domain err-disabled a couple ports on a few random switches which were not set to autorecover. I eventually track the offenders down throughout the facility and reset them, guided by a map and a panicky helpdesk guy on the phone pinging poo poo and guiding me around.