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The Duchess Smackarse
May 8, 2012

by Lowtax

KomodoWagon posted:

No, you snap with each stroke you loving retard

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ReidRansom
Oct 25, 2004


snapping while i stroke is my preferred method

The Management
Jan 2, 2010

sup, bitch?

SciFiDownBeat posted:

catching up with the thread and I just wanted to point out


you have to snap your fingers four times to make a Z, you IDIOT

You quoted a post from 9 pages back to be utterly wrong and embarrass yourself?

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

The Management posted:

You quoted a post from 9 pages back to be utterly wrong and embarrass yourself?

An argument can be made that you could snap at the start of the Z and at the end of the first stroke which would require 4 snaps. I've never seen it done, but it could exist in theory.

Rockman Reserve
Oct 2, 2007

"Carbons? Purge? What are you talking about?!"

So wrong that you get dunked on by KomodoWagon, that must sting.

The Management
Jan 2, 2010

sup, bitch?

Solice Kirsk posted:

An argument can be made that you could snap at the start of the Z and at the end of the first stroke which would require 4 snaps. I've never seen it done, but it could exist in theory.

Try it. It's ridiculous. There's a reason no one does it.

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

food court bailiff posted:

So wrong that you get dunked on by KomodoWagon, that must sting.

lol

kalel
Jun 19, 2012

I assumed you snapped on the points to make a Z, not on the edges. Guess I'm not as chill as I thought v:saddowns:v

sout
Apr 24, 2014

The Management posted:

Try it. It's ridiculous. There's a reason no one does it.

No, it's too dangerous!

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
I guess in an extreme situation you could chain both a circle-snap and a z-snap bringing the total number of snaps up to 4. But I'd hate to think of the sheer amount of shade thrown to warrant that much snap.

Theotus
Nov 8, 2014

:five:

Brutal.

GOTTA STAY FAI
Mar 24, 2005

~no glitter in the gutter~
~no twilight galaxy~
College Slice
Hang on, what about the stroke through the middle of the ƶ

You'd need a fifth snap in this scenario and maybe even a sixth if you were feeling especially sassy

Cool Dad
Jun 15, 2007

It is always Friday night, motherfuckers

Don't be ridiculous, you only the the stroke through the middle if you're canadian and there are no black people there

Sjs00
Jun 29, 2013

Yeah Baby Yeah !
this is loving crazy I was just thinking about that literally all weekend
but who the gently caress does that anymore?

christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
Biscuit Hider

GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

Hang on, what about the stroke through the middle of the ƶ

You'd need a fifth snap in this scenario and maybe even a sixth if you were feeling especially sassy

I think you're only allowed to do that if you're literally beheading someone.

Police Automaton
Mar 17, 2009
"You are standing in a thread. Someone has made an insightful post."
LOOK AT insightful post
"It's a pretty good post."
HATE post
"I don't understand"
SHIT ON post
"You shit on the post. Why."
I snapped a long time ago

Baronjutter
Dec 31, 2007

"Tiny Trains"

I can't snap or whistle.

Doctor Malaver
May 23, 2007

Ce qui s'est passé t'a rendu plus fort
But can you shitpost?

Unknowable Hole
Feb 2, 2005


Pillbug
My neighbors cat was in heat so instead of getting it fixed they asked if my cat would have sex with it.

Fintilgin
Sep 29, 2004

Fintilgin sweeps!

Unknowable Hole posted:

My neighbors cat was in heat so instead of getting it fixed they asked if my cat would have sex with it.

That's when you tell them you were thinking of getting a vasectomy, unless....

The Management
Jan 2, 2010

sup, bitch?

Unknowable Hole posted:

My neighbors cat was in heat so instead of getting it fixed they asked if my cat would have sex with it.

Don't keep us in suspense man

Unknowable Hole
Feb 2, 2005


Pillbug

The Management posted:

Don't keep us in suspense man

Yeah I sent him in there. Thats funny this post was intended for the apartments thread but this works too.

Unknowable Hole fucked around with this message at 00:58 on Feb 22, 2017

Baronjutter
Dec 31, 2007

"Tiny Trains"

Why wasn't your cat fixed?

Unknowable Hole
Feb 2, 2005


Pillbug

Baronjutter posted:

Why wasn't your cat fixed?

He was I guess they still know what they're doing.

Cool Dad
Jun 15, 2007

It is always Friday night, motherfuckers

haha, I think you probably just cockblocked the hell out of that female cat

The Butcher
Apr 20, 2005

Well, at least we tried.
Nap Ghost

GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

You're older and more clever than those idiots. What you should be doing rather than nursing this futile bonfire of hatred is slaying all the sweet, sweet college girl pussy you can while it's still appropriate to do so

In the land of the dorks, the even half way normal guy is king.

There are a lot of engineers who work on the floor of my office building and it's like 95% dudes. Every now and then I see new lady engineer but they always seem to be gone within a few months tops. Probably a pretty tough industry to work in for :females:, at least if you end up in a goony goon work culture place anyway.

Also the mens toilets on the floor are always like revolving door busy with the most horrible sounds and smells being generated. I get the feeling some of these dude's diets are not the most balanced. Eat a god damned vegetable now and then!

Atlas Hugged
Mar 12, 2007


Put your arms around me,
fiddly digits, itchy britches
I love you all
If you see loot crates you should quit.

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

Checking in, glad the thread hasn't burned down yet, thanks to H.H for picking up my slack :)

And yeah I've worked in the games industry and all your co-workers being slobby shameful manchildren is reason #38 why jobs in the games industry are disappointing. Do not work in the games industry.

I am now working at a successful tech company not constantly laying people off, and everyone there is socially competent and in their thirties, it's great. If you are not a "culture fit" for a company you're applying to, you will know and so will they. Most of the mouthbreathing troglodytes in your subpar engineering department will end up as helpdesk or IT workers anyway.

The Butcher
Apr 20, 2005

Well, at least we tried.
Nap Ghost

Atlas Hugged posted:

If you see loot crates you should quit...

...your life!

Seriously though that's some sad rear end poo poo.

Let me pay to be sent garbage poo poo mass produced in a factory filled with sad people in China that is shaped and coloured like a thing or character from a video game I have played.

H.H
Oct 24, 2006

August is the Cruelest Month

quote:

Hi, I'm the worst goon on the SA forums. Why? Because I kidnapped somebody once.

It was justified, I didn't hurt her, and I let her go pretty quickly after realizing it was a hosed up thing to do. But it happened and I can't undo it.

She was my first major girlfriend (23 me vs 19 her). Due to some religious brainwashing from her family, she didn't believe in moving in with me before marriage. I pushed the issue a bit much and she ended up dumping me over it. I tried reconnecting with her for a while via phone but she ignored me.

So *techincally* I kidnapped her. I went to her house (her parent's house really) one early morning, since I knew she left for work around 6 am. I waited for her to walk into her car, then I grabbed her and covered her mouth, just so it wouldn't alert her psycho parents. We had a good talk that day about things, but I realized we weren't getting anywhere and I could technically be in trouble for this. So I let her go after making her promise not to involve the police.

quote:

I work for NASA in an extremely top secret capacity.

About 8 months ago we discovered an anomaly on the moon. We've been researching it ever since.

This info will reach the general public around mid-May, but here it is.

The object we discovered is a statue approxmimately 91 foot tall and made of stone. Its fallen (we assume) and laying flat on the surface. It's shaped like a human being, we can't find any non-human features on the parts that aren't buried under the lunar surface.

We don't know how it got there - it wasn't dropped off by any American missions and no other countries have claimed it. It seems like a big loving deal to not mention, our first thought was Russia did it, but they haven't said anything about it.

We do not know why it is there and, quite frankly, I'm frightened to find out.

The Butcher
Apr 20, 2005

Well, at least we tried.
Nap Ghost

H.H posted:

Moon secrets

Nobody works for NASA in a super secret capacity. We have the military and intelligence agencies for that.

The best full surface imagery comes from the LRO @ a max of 50cm/px, making a 30m long object give you a whopping 60 pixels size in your image. Not enough to define a statue with human characteristics as described.

As the images get downloaded, they are seen by a ton of non super secret sworn in people. The guys involved with these programs seeing the data downloads would absolutely grab a pic of something crazy and be sharing it on the DL immediately, from which it would blow up to the non DL, because people are people.

You think NASA nerds don't all secretly (or not so secretly) dream of finding aliens one day?

Also, if such a thing actually happened and was photographed nobody involved with space or intelligence would be speculating that a nation on Earth "dropped it off" with no other evidence and just left it lying in the lunar dust. Physics doesn't work that way.

Yes, I did spend way too long thinking about this and typing it out.

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
So the moon was blasted off the Earth right? Well what if, and this is a long shot, but what if the Earth got blasted off the moon?! That would explain the statue being there because it's where humans started out and would also explain why there's no water or people there now because we got blasted off hundreds of years ago.

The Butcher
Apr 20, 2005

Well, at least we tried.
Nap Ghost
Physics does not work that way!

*self immolates*

Beige
Sep 13, 2004

Solice Kirsk posted:

So the moon was blasted off the Earth right? Well what if, and this is a long shot, but what if the Earth got blasted off the moon?! That would explain the statue being there because it's where humans started out and would also explain why there's no water or people there now because we got blasted off hundreds of years ago.

If what you're saying is true then that would make us the aliens. And if that's true, who are the humans?

KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013

by R. Guyovich
Hmm yeah, I guess I *technically* grabbed her violently and forced her into my car before intimidating her into keeping her mouth shut. Like, if you want to be pedantic about it.

Beige
Sep 13, 2004
She didn't want to move in with him because of religion. She's totally OK with it now because he made her promise him she'd not report him to the police.

yeah I eat ass
Mar 14, 2005

only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

The Butcher posted:

Nobody works for NASA in a super secret capacity. We have the military and intelligence agencies for that.

To be fair there are positions in NASA that require top secret clearance.

That said, I guarantee they aren't top secret because of anything to do with aliens - they are probably on a joint project with other parts of the government that want to keep their designs/whatever secret. Almost all top secret scientific stuff is pretty mundane in my (admittedly limited) experience.

Leave
Feb 7, 2012

Taking the term "Koopaling" to a whole new level since 2016.
The NASA confession made me think of Black Sabbath's Iron Man. It certainly seemed to fill that goon full of dread. But are his boots made of lead?

H.H
Oct 24, 2006

August is the Cruelest Month

quote:

Nobody believes this, and probably none of you will either, but I spent 3 years trapped in a parallel universe.

I was working at Home Depot at the time. I was unloading the truck and there was a big metal pot for the garden department, something you'd put like a big tree in or something. Well I was kind of the comedian of the store at the time so I climb into it. When I popped back up I wasn't in Home Depot any more, I was in a desert.

I won't give extreme details because I'm sure somebody will post "lol dumb fiction, have fun with your creative writing assignment." But just know that I spent 3 years wandering the desert, finding a small town, trying to find a way back home, and eventually starting a life in this parallel world after realizing it was pointless. Then one day I was shot by a bandit and left to die. As I was bleeding out I passed out and woke up back in the pot in Home Depot, and it was like time hadn't changed at all.

I have had a lot of problems in life because of this event - I couldn't adapt back to "real life" for a while and spent some time living back with my parents. I'm just now starting to turn things around but still mix up memories a lot and sometimes slip back into parallel dialect while speaking, making everyone think I'm some retard speaking Klingon or something.

quote:

I accidentally killed a child while working and I, along with my direct supervisor, made it look like I wasn't involved to protect the company and myself. I am going to change some details to protect myself and my employer, but this has started haunting me in a major way and I need to get it off my chest.

I was driving in a residential neighborhood during the day, and I should note, it was during a school day. Weather was clear and sunny and I was going about 30 mph. Too fast for the neighborhood, I fully admit. I took my eyes off the road for a bit to rummage through my bin and get some envelopes that needed delivered. I was on a clear stretch of road.

I was rummaging through the bin for maybe 15 seconds and heard a loud thud and my vehicle shook violently. I assumed I ran over a family pet or something that had run out into the road. I looked behind me and there was a kid, maybe 8 years old, lying in my path. Arm twisted the wrong way, head turned around oddly. No blood. I do two things at this point - yell for help and run to the kid. Nobody is coming out and I suddenly realize the street I'm on is all new housing. This kid must have run from 5 or 6 streets over to get here, probably to play around in the empty lots. So I stop yelling for help and call my boss to report things, before planning to call 911. I could tell the child was dead at this point and started freaking out.

My manager talked me down and asked the details, and then we did something really bad. There was construction equipment nearby. With some gentle prodding from my boss I put the kid next to a large piece of construction equipment, then took off the brake and put the key in the ignition. I will spare you this next part.

Then I start yelling again for help and run frantically from door to door. Someone finally comes out almost 10 minutes later. I tell them I found a kid squashed by some construction equipment.

The investigation went a long time and I almost cracked several times. But my story held, several kids including this one had been busted playing with the construction equipment before, and the neighbors corroborated the fact that I was screaming bloody murder for help and the people who saw my path through the neighborhood saw me turn down the new construction streets just moments before I started yelling for help. Not passing judgment on this child, but it also didn't hurt that he was skipping school that day and had been in a few fights during the year. It was much easier to convince people of the story than if he was an honor student, is what I'm saying.

I buried this really deep in my psyche and effectively repressed it for the last 5 years. I never told the girl I started dating after the incident, who is now my wife. I never told my family or friends or any other coworkers. And my supervisor never did either.

But now I am convinced someone else knows.

My supervisor was fired in July for several timecard falsification issues and making a driver stay on road when it was technically illegal for them to continue driving. He was found dead in his apartment a few weeks later, it made the news as a suicide, and we assumed it was due to him losing his job, which was the only thing in his life. I honestly felt some relief knowing that the secret was only with me.

But now I don't think he killed himself over the firing. I think someone came to him with evidence of what we did and forced him to kill himself or else they would take the proof to the police. I do not know why it took so long, and that's the only thing that makes me feel like maybe I'm just paranoid.

But I have noticed some weird things around my house of late. There was a small hole dug in the yard and I don't know who did it. There were a bunch of Jack Chick tracts left on the front porch, all of them about burning in hell. And somebody rear ended my wife while she was at the grocery store, then drove off without stopping.

Things have been calm for a while so I might just be crazy. I honestly don't know any more.

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mfcrocker
Jan 31, 2004



Hot Rope Guy
I mean, you're a shithead construction goon, but none of those weird things are weird. An animal dug a hole, drivers are dickheads (:ironicat:) and you have a fundie living near you.

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