Feliz Navidad! It's the 8th annual Awful Xmas Music thread! Ocho ho ho!

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Feliz Navidad! It's the 8th annual Awful Xmas Music thread! Ocho ho ho!

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simplefish: Mar 28, 2011; So long, and thanks for all the ~~fish~~ gallbladdΣrs!

MY TRACK IS UNDER THE TREE :siren:

(finally - although it should still be 20th where you are!)

Couple of things

1) I'd appreciate someone giving this a listen and letting me know about the balance etc. I am not an audio mix person. It sounds okay in the headphones I have but utterly abysmal out of the laptop speakers. If it's unlistenable then I'll have another crack at it.

2) Norris, Stabby, I credited you in a silly way - if you want it with whatever your usual accreditation is, let me know, I'll update it.
Thank you both again for helping me bring this to life!

ManiacClown posted:

My daughter and I just listened to Taco Bell Christmas. We agreed that we could seriously see Taco Bell using it in a real commercial.

DeathTongue posted:

We adopted two girls last year and the 5 year old specifically requests Ho Ho Ho It's ChristmasTime and Taco Bell Christmas. She's going to grow up believing that our awful Christmas songs are real Christmas tunes. It actually brought a tear to my eye thinking about it.

And yes, I have a kid friendly playlist of our awful tunes for her.

Since people have their kids listening, and some people slip a few tracks in at work Christmas parties, and since my last one was so rude, I wanted to do a clean one this year.

It's all about one of Santa's reindeer going missing on Christmas eve!

Lyrics below:

code:

ELF FOREMAN: (Stabby)
I got my elves to notice
When the call came down the line
"Get the presents up to Santa,"
(Made not bought) "IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME!"

On Santa's midnight service
Use the chimney not the door
"So let's fly, Deer depart -
Please report:"

STABLE ELF (Norris)
"All the reindeer, excepting Dancer.
Donner and Blitzen, we've got to go
Dasher, Comet, please, and Cupid, Vixen Prancer,
Follow Rudolph -- but where is DANCER?

ELF CUSTOMER SERVICE REP (Norris)
(phone/office noises in backgroud?)
   "Sleigh has presents for those with virtue."
   "Santa, he knows that you've been good."
     "Please pardon Mr Old-and-Jolly,
    He'd bring you presents if he could."

ELF FOREMAN (Stabby)
    But at the North Pole there's commotion
    'Cos we're still stuck here in the snow
     We can't fly, without all 9,
     Where did that reindeer go?

STABLE ELF (Norris)
"All the reindeer, excepting Dancer.
Donner and Blitzen, we've got to go.
Dasher, Comet, please, and Cupid, Vixen Prancer,
Follow Rudolph -- but where is DANCER?


ELF CUSTOMER SERVICE REP: (Norris)
   "Will your Christmas be alright?
   When you dream at home tonight,
   There's no present you're receiving."
ELF FOREMAN: (Stabby)
    "Let me know, if we're ever leaving..."


STABLE ELF (Norris)
"All the reindeer, excepting Dancer.
Donner and Blitzen, we've got to go
Dasher, Comet, Rudolph, Cupid, Vixen Prancer
.....
You gotta let me know"


ALL ELFS
Stall is empty, so where is Dancer?
Donner and Blitzen, we've got to go.
Dasher, Comet, please, and Cupid, Vixen Prancer,
Follow Rudolph -- but where is DANCER?

~FIN~

# ? Dec 20, 2016 17:44

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 14:08

my cat is norris: Mar 11, 2010; #onecallcat

Awh, that turned out great, Simplefish! Thanks for working so hard at it. :allears:

Only thing I noticed was that the singing got a bit lost in the office/call center background noise.

Also I love the crediting and you can keep it, as far as I'm concerned.

# ? Dec 20, 2016 17:57

ManiacClown: May 30, 2002; Gone, gone, O honky man,
And rise the M.C. Etrigan!

Rupert Buttermilk posted:

Honestly, even a nice number like 60 would be great. We could make it a 3-disc set (everyone streams it, none of this matters), with 20 tracks on each disc, or something weird like 18 tracks on one, and 22 tracks on another, thanks to that SUPER long one that makes me want to hurt myself

Aw, shucks, Rupert. I only do what I can because I must. :shobon:

# ? Dec 20, 2016 18:00

Rupert Buttermilk: Apr 15, 2007; 🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

simplefish posted:

MY TRACK IS UNDER THE TREE

(finally - although it should still be 20th where you are!)

Couple of things

1) I'd appreciate someone giving this a listen and letting me know about the balance etc. I am not an audio mix person. It sounds okay in the headphones I have but utterly abysmal out of the laptop speakers. If it's unlistenable then I'll have another crack at it.

2) Norris, Stabby, I credited you in a silly way - if you want it with whatever your usual accreditation is, let me know, I'll update it.
Thank you both again for helping me bring this to life!

Noted, downloaded, added to album. I put it as "Simplefish (ft. @isnorris, MC Stabby)"

# ? Dec 20, 2016 18:16

Johnny Setlist: Aug 19, 2010

Kruxy posted:

OUR TRACK IS UNDER THE TREE

Special thanks on this to all of the Goons who helped me make Goon Aid 2016 possible:

Paladinus
Cemetry Gator
King Lou
BSam
DeathTongue
Johnny Setlist
Grammarchist
Toothy
Haschel Cedricson
my cat is norris

And thanks to -CHA for creating the artwork used in the video.

and of course you want a Karaoke youtube version that you can share on your social media whatsamajiggits.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4lfehKYIBA

Oh, it's so glorious! Thanks to everyone who came together to make this - you goons are super - but special thanks to Kruxy for being boss and putting this together!

# ? Dec 20, 2016 18:20

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Haschel Cedricson posted:

MY TRACK IS UNDER THE TREE

Now with better lyrics on the last line!

This room got all kinds of dusty on that last line. Tremendous improvement, tremendous choral arrangement, and I still love you for the Little Drummer Boy with the awesome fills / breaks.

# ? Dec 20, 2016 19:37

my cat is norris: Mar 11, 2010; #onecallcat

Rupert Buttermilk posted:

Noted, downloaded, added to album. I put it as "Simplefish (ft. @isnorris, MC Stabby)"

MC @isnorris!

# ? Dec 20, 2016 20:05

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Haschel Cedricson posted:

Rupert Buttermilk posted:
... my actual day job, which is packaging media for tv broadcast.

Way to undersell it.

Here we are, live on the streets, with Rupert Buttermilk packaging media for tv broadcast:

He knows many people who farm melons

CannonFodder fucked around with this message at 20:17 on Dec 20, 2016

# ? Dec 20, 2016 20:07

Rupert Buttermilk: Apr 15, 2007; 🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

my cat is norris posted:

MC @isnorris!

Fixed!

# ? Dec 20, 2016 20:17

Cactus Ghost: Dec 20, 2003; you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

Rupert: I always appreciate the effort you put into arranging the tracks into "discs". Even though I never burn them, there's still something satisfying about having things arranged into somewhat of a ~75 minute arc.

# ? Dec 20, 2016 21:20

Rupert Buttermilk: Apr 15, 2007; 🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

OMGVBFLOL posted:

Rupert: I always appreciate the effort you put into arranging the tracks into "discs". Even though I never burn them, there's still something satisfying about having things arranged into somewhat of a ~75 minute arc.

Thanks! I genuinely love the album format, at least for CDs, and I love thinking about track order, what should open, what should close. 2012's Merry Christmas and the Infinite Santa was a joy to sort out, no lie.

# ? Dec 20, 2016 21:26

McStabby: Jun 26, 2007; LANA!!! CRUUUUUSH!

simplefish posted:

MY TRACK IS UNDER THE TREE

(finally - although it should still be 20th where you are!)

Couple of things

1) I'd appreciate someone giving this a listen and letting me know about the balance etc. I am not an audio mix person. It sounds okay in the headphones I have but utterly abysmal out of the laptop speakers. If it's unlistenable then I'll have another crack at it.

2) Norris, Stabby, I credited you in a silly way - if you want it with whatever your usual accreditation is, let me know, I'll update it.
Thank you both again for helping me bring this to life!

Since people have their kids listening, and some people slip a few tracks in at work Christmas parties, and since my last one was so rude, I wanted to do a clean one this year.

It's all about one of Santa's reindeer going missing on Christmas eve!

Lyrics below:
code:
ELF FOREMAN: (Stabby)
I got my elves to notice
When the call came down the line
"Get the presents up to Santa,"
(Made not bought) "IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME!"

On Santa's midnight service
Use the chimney not the door
"So let's fly, Deer depart -
Please report:"

STABLE ELF (Norris)
"All the reindeer, excepting Dancer.
Donner and Blitzen, we've got to go
Dasher, Comet, please, and Cupid, Vixen Prancer,
Follow Rudolph -- but where is DANCER?

ELF CUSTOMER SERVICE REP (Norris)
(phone/office noises in backgroud?)
   "Sleigh has presents for those with virtue."
   "Santa, he knows that you've been good."
     "Please pardon Mr Old-and-Jolly,
    He'd bring you presents if he could."

ELF FOREMAN (Stabby)
    But at the North Pole there's commotion
    'Cos we're still stuck here in the snow
     We can't fly, without all 9,
     Where did that reindeer go?

STABLE ELF (Norris)
"All the reindeer, excepting Dancer.
Donner and Blitzen, we've got to go.
Dasher, Comet, please, and Cupid, Vixen Prancer,
Follow Rudolph -- but where is DANCER?


ELF CUSTOMER SERVICE REP: (Norris)
   "Will your Christmas be alright?
   When you dream at home tonight,
   There's no present you're receiving."
ELF FOREMAN: (Stabby)
    "Let me know, if we're ever leaving..."


STABLE ELF (Norris)
"All the reindeer, excepting Dancer.
Donner and Blitzen, we've got to go
Dasher, Comet, Rudolph, Cupid, Vixen Prancer
.....
You gotta let me know"


ALL ELFS
Stall is empty, so where is Dancer?
Donner and Blitzen, we've got to go.
Dasher, Comet, please, and Cupid, Vixen Prancer,
Follow Rudolph -- but where is DANCER?

~FIN~

I would like to thank my cats for acting like utter assholes during my recording.

# ? Dec 20, 2016 23:30

DeathTongue: Jul 13, 2001

Kruxy posted:

OUR TRACK IS UNDER THE TREE

Special thanks on this to all of the Goons who helped me make Goon Aid 2016 possible:

Thanks for bringing me in on this, Kruxy. It was amazing lending my throat-ing non-skills to the mix and wonderful experiencing the final result!

# ? Dec 21, 2016 04:23

simplefish: Mar 28, 2011; So long, and thanks for all the ~~fish~~ gallbladdΣrs!

my cat is norris posted:

Only thing I noticed was that the singing got a bit lost in the office/call center background noise.

That's the bit I had trouble balancing. When it sounded good on headphones it sounded bad on soeakers and vice versa, so I plummed for headphone mix in the end in the hope that it was more likely people would listen over decent speakers or headphones

# ? Dec 21, 2016 11:43

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

simplefish posted:

That's the bit I had trouble balancing. When it sounded good on headphones it sounded bad on soeakers and vice versa, so I plummed for headphone mix in the end in the hope that it was more likely people would listen over decent speakers or headphones

It doesn't sound very well on my headphones either, but I've got a pair of cheap Philipses, so who knows. Mixing is hell.

# ? Dec 21, 2016 12:04

simplefish: Mar 28, 2011; So long, and thanks for all the ~~fish~~ gallbladdΣrs!

It's fine, if I get a chance I'll quieten down the office noise and ask for the updated version to be included

Appreciate the feedback!

# ? Dec 21, 2016 12:12

Lifepuzzler: Nov 5, 2009

I have a half-finished, somewhat aborted, attempt at making a "So This Is Christmas" cover. If I can get home from all this WONDERFUL SHOPPING I'M DOING ON MY DAY OFF then I will try to polish it to a level where I won't be totally embarrassed about submitting it.

# ? Dec 21, 2016 20:33

Kruxy: May 19, 2004; Just a steel town girl on
a Saturday night, looking
for the fight of her life

MY SONG IS UNDER THE TREE

My falsetto is totally burned out now.

# ? Dec 21, 2016 21:55

Rupert Buttermilk: Apr 15, 2007; 🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

Kruxy posted:

MY SONG IS UNDER THE TREE

My falsetto is totally burned out now.

Excellent

# ? Dec 21, 2016 22:16

ScrootyMcboog: Nov 15, 2015

MY TRACK IS UNDER THE TREE

One last track for this year

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B4kka1ng5N1bUTZLdV9xazhQRmM/view

# ? Dec 21, 2016 23:35

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

Kruxy posted:

MY SONG IS UNDER THE TREE

My falsetto is totally burned out now.

Well done.
But also I've recorded it today, too. Not like I've claimed the song or anything, but still. Welp, I guess, my version is also kind of near the tree or something.

E:\/\/\/ I can provide the vocals track to anyone willing to mix them together, obviously.

Paladinus fucked around with this message at 00:13 on Dec 22, 2016

# ? Dec 22, 2016 00:02

Edward Mass: Sep 14, 2011; 𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen𝅘𝅥𝅮

Obviously, the two tracks should be merged.

# ? Dec 22, 2016 00:10

Cactus Ghost: Dec 20, 2003; you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

*reggae air horn* duuuueeeeeett *air horn*

# ? Dec 22, 2016 00:59

schmarson: Dec 21, 2012; MY DUDES; Ultra Carp

MY TRACK IS UNDER THE TREE

From BYOB:

# ? Dec 22, 2016 03:22

The Slack Lagoon: Jun 17, 2008

Is there any way to download the old albums without paying for them, unless that is not kosher.

# ? Dec 22, 2016 03:45

Edward Mass: Sep 14, 2011; 𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen𝅘𝅥𝅮

The Slack Lagoon posted:

Is there any way to download the old albums without paying for them, unless that is not kosher.

They're SUPPOSED to be free! Bandcamp is just being a dick. Use this Torrent magnet:

all-Rush mixtape posted:

magnet:?xt=urn:btih:4DBFD6935BEB93965A4601A8B42CBE72B50947E7&dn=Goon%20Christmas%202009-2015&tr=udp%3a%2f%2ftracker.openbittorrent.com%3a80%2fannounce&tr=udp%3a%2f%2ftracker.opentrackr.org%3a1337%2fannounce

# ? Dec 22, 2016 04:01

The Slack Lagoon: Jun 17, 2008

Awesome, thanks!

# ? Dec 22, 2016 04:16

Rupert Buttermilk: Apr 15, 2007; 🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

Eventually, I'll have the whole thing up on saxmas.robotcousin.com but that's for whenever I have time. It'll happen, I absolutely promise. I just don't specifically know when.

# ? Dec 22, 2016 04:18

Nascardad: Oct 22, 2009; "Racing is in my blood, I can't quite get out of it yet"

MY TRACK IS UNDER THE TREE

please enjoy my spiritual

# ? Dec 22, 2016 04:30

BSam: Nov 24, 2012

Nascardad posted:

MY TRACK IS UNDER THE TREE

please enjoy my spiritual

Nascardad! Yay!

# ? Dec 22, 2016 04:36

Edward Mass: Sep 14, 2011; 𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen𝅘𝅥𝅮

Kruxy posted:

MY SONG IS UNDER THE TREE

My falsetto is totally burned out now.

Paladinus posted:

Well done.
But also I've recorded it today, too. Not like I've claimed the song or anything, but still. Welp, I guess, my version is also kind of near the tree or something.

E:\/\/\/ I can provide the vocals track to anyone willing to mix them together, obviously.

This basic mix is under the tree

I took one verse from one and the other from the other.

# ? Dec 22, 2016 05:04

Kruxy: May 19, 2004; Just a steel town girl on
a Saturday night, looking
for the fight of her life

Paladinus posted:

Well done.
But also I've recorded it today, too. Not like I've claimed the song or anything, but still. Welp, I guess, my version is also kind of near the tree or something.

E:\/\/\/ I can provide the vocals track to anyone willing to mix them together, obviously.

This would be a great bonus CD in the relentless tradition of Schweinhund's original "Christmas" and "Ho Ho Ho (It's Christmas Time)". We get like 18 more people and they all record the song. And that's the only thing on the bonus CD. Just this song over and over again ad nauseum performed by a different person every time.

It's a good concept, but would be better in execution with a better song.

# ? Dec 22, 2016 05:15

Fredflonston: Jan 29, 2011

MY TRACK IS UNDER THE TREE :siren:

A wholesome song about lovin' that the whole family can enjoy with implicit yet passable sexual innuendo.

Fredflonston fucked around with this message at 07:11 on Dec 22, 2016

# ? Dec 22, 2016 06:44

Rupert Buttermilk: Apr 15, 2007; 🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

EDIT: ^^^^ I loving LOVE this, good work :toot:

^^^^

all-Rush mixtape posted:

This basic mix is under the tree

I took one verse from one and the other from the other.

Quick thread vote: This version as one track, or the two other versions as their own tracks?

# ? Dec 22, 2016 21:56

Cactus Ghost: Dec 20, 2003; you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

the mix

# ? Dec 22, 2016 22:50

Silly Burrito: Nov 27, 2007; SET A COURSE FOR
THE FLAVOR QUADRANT

Mix it like a Christmas mixer.

# ? Dec 22, 2016 22:51

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Silly Burrito posted:

Mix it like a Christmas mixer.

Filled with alcohol and regrets? Perfect!

# ? Dec 23, 2016 00:26

Silly Burrito: Nov 27, 2007; SET A COURSE FOR
THE FLAVOR QUADRANT

CannonFodder posted:

Filled with alcohol and regrets? Perfect!

That's a good name for another goon Christmas song.

# ? Dec 23, 2016 01:06

BSam: Nov 24, 2012

my track is under the tree!!!

# ? Dec 23, 2016 02:09

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 14:08

Edward Mass: Sep 14, 2011; 𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen𝅘𝅥𝅮

BSam posted:

my track is under the tree!!!

Well, that'll make this an extra disc long.

# ? Dec 23, 2016 03:03

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Feliz Navidad! It's the 8th annual Awful Xmas Music thread! Ocho ho ho!

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