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Some poops have a certain sound
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Apr 17, 2021 20:19
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TontoCorazon posted:She died. TontoCorazon posted:Of a broken fart
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Apr 17, 2021 20:28
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Lol at this thread now
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Apr 17, 2021 21:33
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I just had a rock hard poo poo that was sitting in my intestines pressing up against my kidney or something that was causing bizarre pains in my nether regions. I just passed it along with a pile of hard coals. It comes as no surprise because my dook is probably half oxycodone by volume. Feeling better, but still sore as hell as everything that was stopped up is now moving around to the newly freed space. Oh well, some oxycodone should help with the soreness! Anyway, there’s group therapy and resources out there for survivors, OP. Don’t be ashamed to use them.
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Apr 17, 2021 21:49
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itt I learned that making GBS threads too dry is bad and making GBS threads too wet is also bad
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Apr 17, 2021 22:11
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yr new gurlfrand! posted:itt I learned that making GBS threads too dry is bad and making GBS threads too wet is also bad Goldilocks was an allegory about pooping
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Apr 17, 2021 22:16
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i have no rear end in a top hat and i must poo poo
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Apr 17, 2021 22:17
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making GBS threads is like Goldilocks Not too hard, not too soft Just right
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Apr 17, 2021 22:21
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Pooping is a land of contrasts
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Apr 17, 2021 22:46
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yr new gurlfrand! posted:itt I learned that making GBS threads too dry is bad and making GBS threads too wet is also bad 
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Apr 17, 2021 23:17
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This thread is going to go stale quickly now that op is ok. Will someone else volunteer to go to the hospital with constipation? For the good of the thread, of course.
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Apr 17, 2021 23:43
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Prof. Crocodile posted:This thread is going to go stale quickly now that op is ok. Will someone else volunteer to go to the hospital with constipation? For the good of the thread, of course. That goon popping oxy is probably well on their way to a blocked bowel.
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Apr 17, 2021 23:56
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Colonel Cancer posted:It is by my will alone I put my poop in motion Usul has called a big one!
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Apr 18, 2021 00:45
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Prof. Crocodile posted:ITT I learned that never pooping is bad, but constantly pooping is also bad, and that pooping the correct amount requires discipline, careful planning, and dietary supplementation. Dietary fiber is your friend. Your heart and anus will thank you.
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Apr 18, 2021 00:54
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Prof. Crocodile posted:This thread is going to go stale quickly now that op is ok. Will someone else volunteer to go to the hospital with constipation? For the good of the thread, of course. im currently eating some mashed potatoes with a ton of low-fat cheddar that doesn't really melt so i'll let you know
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Apr 18, 2021 01:56
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Imagine this as a seven course dinner. Washed down with piss of course.
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Apr 18, 2021 03:06
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Tag yourselves.
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Apr 18, 2021 03:29
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I heard the the OP pooped so big that it filled the entire toilet and then they has to flush the toilet while they were still pooping so it didnt overflow the toilet and then they had to call a plumber to fix the toilet because there was so much poop
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Apr 18, 2021 03:31
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this is cannon, btw
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Apr 18, 2021 03:58
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Best Bi Geek Squid posted:this is cannon, btw So was the OP's colon after finally removing the blockage lmao
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Apr 18, 2021 04:13
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low key sex master posted:So was the OP's colon after finally removing the blockage lmao 
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Apr 18, 2021 05:32
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How much is a “I can’t poop” hospita bill?
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Apr 18, 2021 06:46
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Nooner posted:I heard the the OP pooped so big that it filled the entire toilet and then they has to flush the toilet while they were still pooping so it didnt overflow the toilet and then they had to call a plumber to fix the toilet because there was so much poop Funny story about the hill that outhouse is on.. 
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Apr 18, 2021 07:12
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when i had pneumonia i didn't poop for a week straight and in a panic got an enema from the pharmacy it didn't do anything and it turns out it was because i had not eaten (nor slept for that matter) for 6 days so there was just nothing to poop out
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Apr 18, 2021 07:47
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Dear Watson posted:How much is a “I can’t poop” hospita bill? That is a good question. My panic attack I thought was a heart attack gave me a 1.500 bill. Would have been higher but had already hit my out of pocket maximum.
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Apr 18, 2021 08:34
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Dear Watson posted:How much is a “I can’t poop” hospita bill?
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Apr 18, 2021 13:36
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sidenote, accidently got some super glue on my nether regions in order to protect myself from the covid, how do I poo poo
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Apr 18, 2021 13:48
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UCS Hellmaker posted:sidenote, accidently got some super glue on my nether regions in order to protect myself from the covid, how do I poo poo Time for a trip to the hospital! Also, I feel OP has run out of steam on the subject of her bowel movements. Hoping some other socially minded goon will take one for the team via a massive dose of anti-diarrheal meds and amuse us with the results.
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Apr 18, 2021 15:05
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Cheesus posted:For that, they usually charge by the pound. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPWLv1LLXPg
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Apr 18, 2021 16:58
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OMFG FURRY posted:im currently eating some mashed potatoes with a ton of low-fat cheddar that doesn't really melt so i'll let you know update: just had a satisfying bowel movement, wiped once and it was 'clean'. sorry to disappoint
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Apr 19, 2021 10:33
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A letdown on par with Star Wars Episode IX
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Apr 19, 2021 18:45
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I'm working on my diet recently, changing it up since I started getting a bit of fat around my midsection, and I've been all number 1 for like 5 days now, just rock hard lumps that can take forever to squeeze out
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Apr 19, 2021 21:10
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why do those take so long to pass anyways? do they get caught in the ridges?
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Apr 19, 2021 22:04
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OMFG FURRY posted:update: Jesus poo poo. An immaculate conception.
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Apr 19, 2021 22:04
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Weirdos? You’re the one who started the thread OP, maybe consider turning the other cheek before throwing poo poo at goons in glass houses. Anyway I’m OP’s doctor and can confirm that they pooped so big that the butt is “totally destroyed” and “medically owned” and the only solution is to spend $6 million on a bionic butthole.
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Apr 19, 2021 22:13
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Play posted:I'm working on my diet recently, changing it up since I started getting a bit of fat around my midsection, and I've been all number 1 for like 5 days now, just rock hard lumps that can take forever to squeeze out are you on the bacon wrapped cheese keto diet pioneered on this very website?
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Apr 19, 2021 22:28
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Mulaney Power Move posted:are you on the bacon wrapped cheese keto diet pioneered on this very website? Just less beer, less carbs and less dairy. I don't believe in specific diets. Especially ones based around bacon and cheese. But where was that proposed? I could use an lol
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Apr 19, 2021 22:30
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yr new gurlfrand! posted:why do those take so long to pass anyways? do they get caught in the ridges? id assume they're not big enough for your colon to get a proper grip on
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Apr 19, 2021 22:34
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yr new gurlfrand! posted:why do those take so long to pass anyways? do they get caught in the ridges? imagine you had a paper bag and you filled it with mashed potatoes then you dehydrated the bag and its contents then tried squeezing them out. eventually the bag rips i think, not a doctor tho
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Apr 19, 2021 22:38
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Play posted:Just less beer, less carbs and less dairy. I don't believe in specific diets. Especially ones based around bacon and cheese. someone post the screenshot if you have it. the one where a guy progresses through the diet, eating six eggs every morning and eating buckets of cheese, until he sees the doctor and his cholesterol and BP is so high he's about to die. mixed in there is a post from a guy saying he should eat cleaner and he gets probated for it.
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Apr 19, 2021 22:39
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