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Sir, their reinforcements seem to be building a wall around us. What do we do??
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Nov 15, 2021 17:03
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ilmucche posted:Sir, their reinforcements seem to be building a wall around us. What do we do?? It’s castles all the way down, seargeant.
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Nov 15, 2021 17:07
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g0lbez posted:i didn't know much about archimedes before this thread but after 10 mins of research he was cool af and his death by some no name rando over nothing was total bullshit 
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Nov 15, 2021 17:14
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Icochet posted:We accidentally hired rappers instead of sappers. The situation is deteriorating fast. Oh no, then who's at the hip-hop concert?!
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Nov 15, 2021 17:19
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You have selected: Regicide. If you know the name of the king or queen being murdered… press one!
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Nov 15, 2021 17:42
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GUYS guys guys guys guys... what if we just all got up and went around them?
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Nov 15, 2021 17:52
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LuckyCat posted:You have selected: Regicide. If you know the name of the king or queen being murdered… press one! Louis
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Nov 15, 2021 17:55
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We had better leave really detailed and thorough records of exactly what has befallen our people so that our descendants will retain the memory of our downfall. *scrawls =later= *writes erotic fan fiction on clay tablets, safe in the knowledge that if he were to die at war, the rains would wash everything away* *entire village catches fire, all that remains are clay tablets, dies of dysentery*
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Nov 15, 2021 17:56
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This is more boring than I thought it'd be. We really just have to sit here and do nothing while everyone inside the walls starves? Let's launch some flaming rocks at them!
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Nov 15, 2021 17:56
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Does anyone know why we are sieging the castle? Not questioning management decisions or anything, I just think I'll have more motivation if I understand the full picture.
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Nov 15, 2021 18:03
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ilmucche posted:Sir, their reinforcements seem to be building a wall around us. What do we do?? We just build another wall in front of their wall and hopefully they'll crash into it. Lord, did anyone here see Tron?
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Nov 15, 2021 18:04
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AAAGH WHAT THE gently caress!?! Electric eels in a moat! what the gently caress!
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Nov 15, 2021 18:04
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OB-GYN Kenobi posted:Does anyone know why we are sieging the castle? Not questioning management decisions or anything, I just think I'll have more motivation if I understand the full picture. they’re a bunch of dirty huguenots
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Nov 15, 2021 18:16
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ChunTheUnavoidable posted:they’re a bunch of dirty huguenots And now I'm reminded of a bit from The Three Musketeers. Alexandre Dumas posted:As it was a time of war between the Catholics and the Huguenots, and as he saw the Catholics exterminate the Huguenots and the Huguenots exterminate the Catholics—all in the name of religion—he adopted a mixed belief which permitted him to be sometimes Catholic, sometimes a Huguenot.
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Nov 15, 2021 18:22
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OB-GYN Kenobi posted:Does anyone know why we are sieging the castle? Not questioning management decisions or anything, I just think I'll have more motivation if I understand the full picture. I think it has something to do with cousin loving.
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Nov 15, 2021 18:24
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Hey! Hey you up on the rampart! Can we have our frisbee back please?
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Nov 15, 2021 18:32
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Thanks. Oh wait this isn't ours. Ours is blue and teutonic.
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Nov 15, 2021 18:37
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Vakal posted:Real men like Julius Ceaser would build two walls. two walls is a must for sure. one to deal with the defenders, one to protect yourself from any reinforcements that show up. but...what if i told you about a third wall...
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Nov 15, 2021 18:45
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ChunTheUnavoidable posted:they’re a bunch of dirty huguenots *What we are told* You get a promotion its all nice on rice posted:I think it has something to do with cousin loving. *The underlying truth* You are demoted and sent up the ladder first for speaking such filth.
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Nov 15, 2021 19:03
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Look at that dumb metal tube they're pointing at us from the wall, they can't even afford a real ballista. I'm pretty sure I saw them pouring gray dust inside too. "Hey dumbasses! Putting a big metal ball in your fail tube won't make your testicles drop!"
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Nov 15, 2021 19:46
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Nov 15, 2021 22:50
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Crespolini posted:two walls is a must for sure. one to deal with the defenders, one to protect yourself from any reinforcements that show up. Ryan Reynolds cheekily looks at the camera and says, "Just don't break the fourth wall."
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Nov 15, 2021 23:09
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Gonna dress up like a ghost and try to run up that "afrightened" score, who's with me?
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Nov 16, 2021 00:05
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TEETH
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Nov 16, 2021 00:13
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Hehe. Buttress
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Nov 16, 2021 00:20
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Cancer, and wolf?!?! One's enough but both of those at the same time?
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Nov 16, 2021 00:42
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If this siege doesn't end soon I'm going to make away myself. Also OP I can't believe that after being besieged for 3 weeks and 11 pages that no pedantic good has pointed out that nobody ever used boiling oil in a siege. Hot sand and hot water but not oil.
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Nov 16, 2021 01:13
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Funky See Funky Do posted:Also OP I can't believe that after being besieged for 3 weeks and 11 pages that no pedantic good has pointed out that nobody ever used boiling oil in a siege. Hot sand and hot water but not oil. You weren't even there man!
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Nov 16, 2021 05:19
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I'm dead from King's Evil
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Nov 16, 2021 05:41
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Funky See Funky Do posted:If this siege doesn't end soon I'm going to make away myself. The ITT you're sieging a castle thread, sponsored by Exxon™️
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Nov 16, 2021 05:41
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its all nice on rice posted:This is more boring than I thought it'd be. We really just have to sit here and do nothing while everyone inside the walls starves? Have some patience son! I know you want to get your rocks off, but if you hold off on flinging your load it will be much more satisfying when you do.
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Nov 16, 2021 05:52
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Accidents: 0 Killed by several accidents: 46 What the hell was going on in London in 1632?
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Nov 16, 2021 06:00
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Funky See Funky Do posted:Accidents: 0 We also have 62 people who died “suddenly”. I think we have a serial killer loose in this siege, boys.
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Nov 16, 2021 07:24
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I couldnt get a hold of any carpenters in such a short notice, but I did manage to get my hands on this horse suit. Its designed for two, so choose your men wisely
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Nov 16, 2021 09:56
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I hate it when I take my mad dog out for a walk and something else comes up and bites me. Rage, rage against the Rising of the Lights! From an epitaph: Of one Parkins a boone Companion in Essex who dyed of the rising of the Lights. Poore Parkins, now percust here lies, Light hearted, till his Lights did rise. Lights of the Body, are the Bellowes, And hee, one of the best good fellowes That Essex yeelded, (all we do know) And breath'd, till they did cease to blow. Overlaid, and starved at nurse? Okay, that led to some horrifying Google results.
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Nov 16, 2021 10:07
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Make away you're self
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Nov 16, 2021 10:22
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Artillery crew getting drunk back at camp while 1 in 10 troopers survive storming the breach to take the city 
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Nov 16, 2021 10:55
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chainchompz posted:Cancer, and wolf?!?! One's enough but both of those at the same time? it's one of those animal team ups, like coyotes and badgers
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Nov 16, 2021 11:16
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I say we eat all the dogs and horses now, so we still have regular food at the end of the siege.
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Nov 16, 2021 13:05
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Ograbme posted:I say we eat all the dogs and horses now, so we still have regular food at the end of the siege. I'm afraid Wilhelm the Dyslexic misunderstood his orders and catapulted all the alive and well animals into the castle. There's still the plague infested carcasses if you're not too picky.
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Nov 16, 2021 13:14
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