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elle vee
Apr 16, 2003

thank you, ma'am!

Juniper posted:

The only issue I'm having with the postcards is with friends telling me yes, they're coming, but they can't send the response card back yet because they're using it as a bookmark.

I guess your friends are smarter than ours, because we've gotten a few in envelopes and other people have told us that they couldn't RSVP because we forgot their envelope.

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1up
Jan 4, 2005

5-up

Juniper posted:

The only issue I'm having with the postcards is with friends telling me yes, they're coming, but they can't send the response card back yet because they're using it as a bookmark.

I'm having the same problems with postcards. I sent them prestamped and everything, but only 5 out of 60 replied with postcards, the rest either contacted us/our family or had to be hunted down for a response.

My only problem now is locking in a nonreligious officiant that isn't trying to charge $350+ as a base price. Regular ol' religious pastors/reverends/etc are on average half as expensive but want you to pay lipservice and allow religious overtones to the ceremony. Apparently cutting out the lord costs extra, fuckers. Tennessee made it nearly impossible to have a friend go the Universal Life Church route, so they've got a very nice racket available to them. Hopefully the courts get back to us about hiring the clerk or some other city official to shut up, read what we give them, and sign the paper.

Since this is subject to going pearshaped, we're seriously considering just taking care of the license here in Dallas before the wedding and just not mentioning to anyone that we got legally married the week before. I mentioned it to my mom and she flipped a poo poo kitten that we were even thinking about it. I guess if we do that, then our wedding is just a dirty lie designed to trick others and rob them of the joy of watching us get married? Man, I don't know, but people loving trip out over wedding stuff way too much.

3 weeks left and there's still so much to do :supaburn:

Joellypie
Mar 13, 2006

1up posted:


My only problem now is locking in a nonreligious officiant that isn't trying to charge $350+ as a base price. Regular ol' religious pastors/reverends/etc are on average half as expensive but want you to pay lipservice and allow religious overtones to the ceremony. Apparently cutting out the lord costs extra, fuckers. Tennessee made it nearly impossible to have a friend go the Universal Life Church route, so they've got a very nice racket available to them. Hopefully the courts get back to us about hiring the clerk or some other city official to shut up, read what we give them, and sign the paper.



Where in TN are you getting married? I'm in Memphis and we ran into the same problem, along with his parents giving us alot of crap for not getting married in a church (his parents have no idea he is nonreligious). I happened to have a regular at the bar I work at that is an officiant for a very large church in our area that is willing to work with us on the wording, and doesn't believe in charging because it is unchristian. But I do have some other contacts in the area that might be willing to work with you and go outside of the Memphis area.

Knockknees
Dec 21, 2004

sprung out fully formed
My boyfriend would like to get me an engagement ring of stainless steel and amethyst. Its not very traditional, and a casual internet search makes it seem like there aren't a lot of vendors for that sort of thing. I've seen a few things on etsy, but does anyone have any other recommendations?

JohnnyRnR
May 16, 2004
Beer Ninja
I wouldn't recommend it. Stainless steel isn't a traditional jewelry metal for a reason - It's very difficult to work and fraught with problems. I'd recommend sterling silver as a minimum.

My advice would be to seek out a simple ring in 14k gold. The material is not very expensive and you'll be able to wear it for a lifetime. Things like sizing and repairs could be done at any goldsmith.

Kitten Kisses
Apr 2, 2007

Dancing with myself.
Have you worn stainless steel jewelry for any length of time before? My husband's ring is stainless and while his skin is typically not very sensitive to stuff the chemicals in the ring give him really bad reactions and his finger swells up really bad if he wears his ring for more than a few hours.

Masonity
Dec 31, 2007

What, I wonder, does this hidden face of madness reveal of the makers? These K'Chain Che'Malle?

"JohnnyRnR" posted:

I wouldn't recommend it. Stainless steel isn't a traditional jewelry metal for a reason - It's very difficult to work and fraught with problems. I'd recommend sterling silver as a minimum.

My advice would be to seek out a simple ring in 14k gold. The material is not very expensive and you'll be able to wear it for a lifetime. Things like sizing and repairs could be done at any goldsmith.

Any reason you say 14 carat?
Our wedding rings are 9, and we plan to upgrade to 18 when we can afford it and a special anniversary comes up. They are very simple 2mm Russian bands with White yellow and pink gold.

JohnnyRnR
May 16, 2004
Beer Ninja

Masonity posted:

Any reason you say 14 carat?

I suggested 14k to help keep costs down. It's a fine alloy though not as malleable as 18k. My first preference is always 18k or Platinum - There are certain techniques than cannot be duplicated in the lower metals.

Tindjin
Aug 4, 2006

Do not seek death.
Death will find you.
But seek the road
which makes death a fulfillment.
Asked my girlfriend last night and she said yes. We have a ton of history, dated in HS, 15yr separation since then until 3 yrs ago. I happened to run into a mutual friend who then told her and she got my email and we started talking then dating again. Talking wedding mid to late May 2012 of a pretty simple affair.

Thanks to JohnnyRnR for his help with the ring. Beautiful eternity style ring with 21 - .10 carat diamonds tha just sparkle like crazy.

It was interesting calling around to family and close friends letting them know. "uh hey good morning, so asked "S" to marry me last night and she said yes." etc.. I am deffinitely not a big phone talker and outside of work that was more phone conversations in one morning than I've probably had in the last 6-8 months.

ChloroformSeduction
Sep 3, 2006

THERE'S NO CURE FOR BEING A CUNT, SO PLEASE KEEP REMINDING ME TO SHUT THE FUCK UP

PopRocks posted:

A wedding coordinator might be the way to go, but I'd start by talking to the catering manager and the manager of the venue. Neither of them want you to have to worry about anything on your wedding day either. It depends on how nice/ fancy/ expensive/ full service the caterer or venue are, but they want the bride and groom to be worry free guests most of all. If you went more DIY casual venue no-frills food delivery, that might not be an option for you.

....

Another option is a good bossy friend who didn't make the cut as groomsman or bridesmaid but wants to be involved with the wedding. The title of wedding coordinator is a good way to honor someone who wanted to be in the wedding party. A non-family member (who doesn't need to be in the photos after the ceremony) who can duck out of the ceremony and get to the venue early to make sure everything on your list is taken care of.

Those are good suggestions, thanks! I have a couple friends that are self-described JAPs, and they're all about the wedding planning. They have some very specific ideas about how it should be done (ie at a 5-star hotel), but they're really into that sort of stuff and would probably really like doing something like that. We're not doing a ceremony in town, this is just for the reception back home, but we'll probably end up doing all the typical reception things like the hora (sp?) and stuff.

EventHorizon posted:

I proposed a month ago. That was easy compared to all the logistics ahead. We are considering a reception at the planetarium. However, in addition to traditional food via buffet, we would like to have Indian food. Here's the catch, the planetarium has a fixed list of approved caterers that have little diversity in their menus.

I'll start calling the caterers individually but does anyone know if a caterers often have options to serve outside food? Say, I have Indian food made at a local restaurant and have the caterer serve it for a "corkage" fee in addition to the traditional food they would prepare?

Yeah, that's a load of crap. They might make an exception for ethnic food. Here, at least, brown weddings are HUGE. They're 400+ people affairs at the minimum and they go all out. No one is going to eliminate that as part of their customer base. We're also doing Indian food, and the place we're going with subcontracts with all the major hotels (that don't allow outside catering, they just get these guys to come in and do it while they mark it up), and I'm assuming some of the larger catering companies. I'm really looking forward to it, since I thought originally they would make the food ahead and bring it to the venue, when in fact they're going to be onsite all day with their own Tandoori ovens that they set up. If you have friends in the Indian community, check for recommendations from them, because there are usually a couple places that specialize in wedding/event catering.

1up
Jan 4, 2005

5-up

Joellypie posted:

Where in TN are you getting married?

We're getting married waaaaay on the opposite side of the state outside Knoxville. I think at this point, we're just going to suck it up and deal with the expense. A friend pointed out that even at $350, we'd be spending roughly what some of our guests would shell out on travel. It still makes me wince that I am literally paying someone $350 for an hour of their time, but I don't see an alternative that doesn't involve hurt feelings.

Juniper
Dec 12, 2007

This is not war,
This is pest control!

1up posted:

I'm having the same problems with postcards. I sent them prestamped and everything, but only 5 out of 60 replied with postcards, the rest either contacted us/our family or had to be hunted down for a response.

I sent ours prestamped, too, so the envelope question hasn't been a problem for us. Only one has come back to us in an envelope, and that was because my great aunt can't come and sent us a card with the response card. One person said he'd lost the card. Another friend has hers magneted (let's just pretend that's a word) to her whiteboard with "SEND THIS!!" written above it. I suspect that would've happened no matter what format the card was, and since I see her for Dungeons & Dragons every week, it doesn't really matter.

Our RSVP by date is June 1, so I'll let you know if there's an increase in postcard-related stupidity!

Fire In The Disco
Oct 4, 2007
I cannot change the gender of my unborn child and shouldn't waste my time or energy pretending he won't exist
I had to track down replies from so many people we sent our invitations and response cards to. It was annoying, yes, but it was necessary. We had 95% of the people who RSVPed yes actually show up, so it was good for us to have a concrete number to give to the caterers.

Mooseontheloose
May 13, 2003
Overstock sells diamond rings...

Is there some sort of scam I need to be weary of?

Low Carb Bread
Sep 6, 2007

penisclaw posted:

Thanks for the quick response.

So you say no higher than VS1? How much lower than that is safe to go before you start to notice a difference? I guess I can lower my standards for this and get a bigger diamond.

As JohnnyRnR is saying, there is no particular cutoff. It's something you need to see in person. My opinion is in line with his, but here are my personal ideas on cutoffs:

Color: D-E-F-G to the untrained eye look identical in most lighting conditions. To me, H-I is where you start noticing a difference. You need to look at them yourself, but I would bet that your average G will look adequately white. For an F, it hardly makes a difference at all unless you are a jeweler. Let alone an E.

Clarity: There is no difference to the naked eye between Flawless, VVS and VS. It is only when you get down to the SI and I grades that inclusions may become obvious to the naked eye. You can be safe with a VS1 or VS2, or some SI1/SI2 stones depending on the type and location of the inclusions.

Cut: This is where the money is at. I would take a G, SI1 with an excellent/'ideal' cut over a flawless D good cut diamond any day. To me any minor difference is color or clarity will be dwarfed by the fire from a well cut stone.

Size: Also makes a huge difference, but it depends on the girl. My cousin specifically wanted a smaller stone. I think larger stones look much better, though, and I think the approach that many guys have going into it ("I want a very high quality stone even if it's smaller") is a mistake. As previously discussed, the differences between one or two gradations in color or clarity does not make much difference in the day to day appearance.

Other: I wouldn't get too obsessed over things like table size, girdle and so forth but it's good to look at these numbers/grades as well. Same with fluorescence - I don't dig.

How far you are willing to 'lower' your standards all depends on how much you want to spend and how big a stone you want. For $10,000 and a 1.5ct goal you may have to lower them a bit; for a 0.5ct stone not so much. What kind of ring you plan on getting (platinum, white gold, side stones etc) makes a difference as well, because that could be a pretty big chunk of the cost.

JohnnyRnR
May 16, 2004
Beer Ninja

Mooseontheloose posted:

Overstock sells diamond rings...

Is there some sort of scam I need to be weary of?

The only real concern to have is that the diamonds may be overgraded or that the jewelry may be of poor construction. Basically their quality is on-par with a mall jewelry store.

From browsing the site it seems that most of their larger diamonds are EGL certified... There's a world of difference in the accuracy between EGL-Israel (or Turkey, or India) vs. the EGL-USA lab. The fact that they don't say "EGL USA" leads me to assume that they're using the much lower quality Israel certs (by far the most common). EGL-Israel certs are usually off by at least 2 color and 2 clarity grades compared to the GIA.

Edit: And a small edit to say that the EGL-USA grades are generally off by 1 or two grades on either color or clarity. They're all over the board, but still generally closer to the mark than the international EGL certs.

JohnnyRnR fucked around with this message at 00:25 on May 16, 2011

demozthenes
Feb 14, 2007

Wicked pissa little critta
Amethyst is a type of quartz and I know I've seen some amethyst engagement rings...would regular quartz, milk quartz, citrine or smoky quartz be an OK stone for a ring? Would a bezel-set stone have a longer lifespan?

v Thanks so much!

demozthenes fucked around with this message at 18:55 on May 17, 2011

JohnnyRnR
May 16, 2004
Beer Ninja
A bezel setting will protect the stone, but all forms of quartz are very durable. I wouldn't be concerned about damage.

Hufflepuff or bust!
Jan 28, 2005

I should have known better.
18 days till W-day! Hopefully everything is sorted out:

Food, drink, place, rings, lady, pastor, music, photographer. Anything I'm forgetting?

We had a hell of a time with the invitation list. We set a target of 150 guests, invited ~180. I simply COULD NOT get them to invite more...now we have 120 guests, and they won't do second-round invites because it is rude >.<. Oh well! Most of my friends are coming, and everyone gets to deal with it!

silicone thrills
Jan 9, 2008

I paint things
So can someone give me the run down on how the hell guest lists and catering works? I was sort of assuming that like you choose a caterer pretty early with a general number of people (say 125) and you send out invites to 160 like 6 months till W day and then you get your RSVPs all back and confirmed at like.. 110. Don't you then pay the caterer for 110 plates and not 125?

Oh god. My fiancee and I were talking ourselves into circles about this the other day. And venue numbers. What if your venue says 125 max and you send out like 160 invites and get 140 yeses back. Does the fire marshall stop people at the door? *winces at the details*

Fire In The Disco
Oct 4, 2007
I cannot change the gender of my unborn child and shouldn't waste my time or energy pretending he won't exist

Tigntink posted:

So can someone give me the run down on how the hell guest lists and catering works? I was sort of assuming that like you choose a caterer pretty early with a general number of people (say 125) and you send out invites to 160 like 6 months till W day and then you get your RSVPs all back and confirmed at like.. 110. Don't you then pay the caterer for 110 plates and not 125?

Oh god. My fiancee and I were talking ourselves into circles about this the other day. And venue numbers. What if your venue says 125 max and you send out like 160 invites and get 140 yeses back. Does the fire marshall stop people at the door? *winces at the details*

My caterers were really laid back. Our wedding was on a Friday night; they told us to get them our final headcount by Monday or Tuesday of the same week.

As for the venue numbers, that is going to differ by venue. The place where we held our wedding sold its packages by guest count. We bought the 100 guest package and they told us that, as long as we stayed under the next level up, which was 125 guests, they were fine with a few over. However, my sister-in-law got married at a different venue in town and they charged per person if they went over their package amount. It ended up working okay for both of us, as we had around 115 show up at our wedding and she had under her number, which was 100 I believe, show up at hers.

gvibes
Jan 18, 2010

Leading us to the promised land (i.e., one tournament win in five years)

Tigntink posted:

So can someone give me the run down on how the hell guest lists and catering works? I was sort of assuming that like you choose a caterer pretty early with a general number of people (say 125) and you send out invites to 160 like 6 months till W day and then you get your RSVPs all back and confirmed at like.. 110. Don't you then pay the caterer for 110 plates and not 125?
Nah, IME, you just give them a final headcount a week or two before. Unless you drop below some sort of minimum, you don't have to pay for extras.

Bahunter22
Jul 3, 2010

Tigntink posted:

So can someone give me the run down on how the hell guest lists and catering works? I was sort of assuming that like you choose a caterer pretty early with a general number of people (say 125) and you send out invites to 160 like 6 months till W day and then you get your RSVPs all back and confirmed at like.. 110. Don't you then pay the caterer for 110 plates and not 125?

Oh god. My fiancee and I were talking ourselves into circles about this the other day. And venue numbers. What if your venue says 125 max and you send out like 160 invites and get 140 yeses back. Does the fire marshall stop people at the door? *winces at the details*

I had a similar experience to Fire. Our vendor was wonderful and since the ceremony easily seated no more than 200 and the ballroom held way more than that, they let us invite whatever as long as they could fit everyone in. It wasn't an issue since we invited 120 or so and I think 100 RSVP'd and showed up. They just had us call the Tuesday before and give them a head count of what we needed and give them the full check two days before the wedding. My mom even called the vendor the day after I gave the final head count and added a suprise guest. The vendor was totally cool with it and didn't charge us extra for the last minute addition.

If you think you might have that big of a gap with the number of people you invite versus the number that show up and whether either will make or break your venue, you may want to consider a) finding a larger venue that will hold the maximum capacity you are inviting with no worries, or b) send save the date cards or wedding announcements and get a feel via reactions of who you will be inviting instead of inviting people that just aren't going to show up. This way you are letting them know about the big day and not completely snubbing them.

Anniepoo
Feb 27, 2011

demozthenes posted:

Amethyst is a type of quartz and I know I've seen some amethyst engagement rings...would regular quartz, milk quartz, citrine or smoky quartz be an OK stone for a ring? Would a bezel-set stone have a longer lifespan?

v Thanks so much!

I would think you could get an Amethyst as an engagement ring. My fiance ordered me an emerald engagement ring as I don't really care that much for diamonds. It does have diamonds surrounding the emerald, but they are smaller, while the emerald is a one carat stone. We shopped at five different stores and none carried the type of ring I was looking for, so we ended up ordering from a well known (in our area) jeweler. He took care of the details and the ring with the matching wedding band will be in his store in ten days.

I don't know about stating the name of the jeweler, but if you are interested, you can pm me and I will be glad to provide the name. He has been in business since 1986 and came highly recommended.

How many of you provided a budget to your other half for what the rings should cost? My SO gave me a rather large budget, I spent less than half of that. I figured we could use the dollars saved on other things..we are also planning to elope..yep..I can't deal with the pressure of an elaborate wedding (had a large wedding once before and the pressure was unbelievable) and so when SO proposed, I said yes, and immediately asked if we could elope. Hell even eloping costs bucks these days..sadly the days of getting a license and justice of the peace seem to have hit the wayside.

I love to go to big weddings and have catered quite a few, but the thought of dealing with 150 people..ugh..

Anyone know if Lake Tahoe is a good place to marry in October? I have never been there, but the SO stated that is where he would like to marry. He has never been married so I figure, if that is where he wants to go..that's where we will go. Is it cold there in Oct? Any other ideas on where to "run off and git married?"

Oh and congrats to all the goons and goonettes on the upcoming nuptials!

silicone thrills
Jan 9, 2008

I paint things
Thanks for all the info on location and catering. It makes more sense now.

quote:


I love to go to big weddings and have catered quite a few, but the thought of dealing with 150 people..ugh..


This is exactly how I feel. We can afford a big wedding but I would much rather do something we've been wanting to do for a long time such as the 14 day Disney cruise and get married on the boat or on Disney's private island in the Caribbean. Or Vegas. Gawd I would love to get one of their packages and just send out invitations and be like "Well if you want to come, come and if not I don't give a crap because I'm gonna be riding the roller coaster on the Stratosphere Hotel like 150 times."

silicone thrills fucked around with this message at 19:20 on May 18, 2011

uberwekkness
Jul 25, 2008

You have to train harder to make it to nationals.
It's surprising how much I have to do just for a tiny wedding! Luckily, it's all pretty simple stuff that I can do closer to the time.

I booked the chapel at my church, and talked to my officiator, I got my jewelry (by stumbling on it in an antique store), I figured out a bouquet, and I'm picking up my freshly altered dress tomorrow!

I still need to get in touch with my hair guy and see if he's available to do it that day, and I need to pick a hair accessory. And figure out cake. And then I'm done! This is awesome!

Just over a month away!

fishhooked
Nov 14, 2006
[img]https://forumimages.somethingawful.com/images/newbie.gif[/img]

Nap Ghost
I'm looking to buy a ring for my long time girlfriend and believe I have found the perfect one. Problem is she has expressed interest in a platinum ring, and the setting I have is white gold. They can get that same ring in platinum, but it puts an additional 3k to the price. Does this price increase seem reasonable and is the quality difference worth it?

I'd much rather have a larger diamond in the setting and go with white gold as opposed to smaller diamond with platinum.

JohnnyRnR
May 16, 2004
Beer Ninja
It really depends. Some of the designer engagement ring lines change an outrageous premium for platinum, and the stores like to mark up the platinum rings more. Unfortunately there's nothing you can do about that. Ask the store if they have a little room to move to help you get everything you wanted within your budget.

The only reason why some customers are forced to choose platinum is for allergy reasons. I'd just talk it over with your girlfriend: Just because she mentioned it previously doesn't mean her heart is set on it.

myron cope
Apr 21, 2009

How common are weddings with two best men? Because my buddy is getting married in June and he's asked me and another friend to both be his best man. Best men. Co-best mans. I accepted, but it just seems weird. I'm not very big on weddings (the last one I went to was about 15 years ago...and I'm 25) but it doesn't seem like best man duties can easily be split up. I know what the best man is supposed to do varies widely by wedding but other than having two toasts, I still don't know how it's going to work. Luckily for me I think our duties lean more to the "just show up" side of things. (The bachelor party already happened and was more just a get together with everyone, bride and bridesmaids included). I also offered to not be a best man, but I think it insulted him more than anything. I definitely want to be, but I figured it might have made things a little easier to plan.

Also, any advice on a toast? :ohdear: I've read a bunch of stuff that all basically amounts to "thank who is paying for it" (I have no idea but I'm assuming the parents, is it wrong to ask?) and tell a story from the newly-married-couple's past...which I can't think of any off hand. And then end in cheesy quote. I'm just nervous and not a good public speaker :ohdear: I'm worried that my "toast" will basically be Vince Vaughn's Old School toast of like "I love you guys...I'm not a talker"

GrAviTy84
Nov 25, 2004

myron_cope posted:

best man :words:

Also, any advice on a toast? :ohdear: I've read a bunch of stuff that all basically amounts to "thank who is paying for it" (I have no idea but I'm assuming the parents, is it wrong to ask?) and tell a story from the newly-married-couple's past...which I can't think of any off hand.

I've been lucky to have been best man at 2 of my friends' weddings (I didn't know I was that good of a friend :mmmhmm:) and am going to be best man in one more within the year. Your job is to do any "groom stuff" people tell you to. This may include picking up the tuxes, holding on to the ring during the ceremony, planning the bachelor party, to random acts of coolness like decorating the honeymoon suite if they are staying in town for the night, etc. People told me my speeches were great, fwiw. The speeches I wrote had funny inside jokes and an embarrassing story or quirk about the groom. It is important to distinguish "ha-ha, you're a goofball" embarrassing from "holy poo poo you are a freak" embarrassing. It's also helpful to have the story or the quirk logically tie into how the couple are perfect for each other, this creates a flow into the heartfelt ending, which should only be about one or two sentences. Don't get too sappy, that is the Maid of Honor's job. And make it short and sweet. I think both my speeches were about a minute and a half.

Edit: If you can't think of a story, a quirk is a way to go. For Example: One of my friends was a serious Star Wars nerd, so I wrote cheesy star wars jokes into the speech and since the immediate family all knew this quirk about him, it made for some laughs.

It also doesn't hurt to compliment the bride for her ability to put up with him or something to that effect, simultaneous building up of the bride while roasting the groom is a nice touch, IMO.

GrAviTy84 fucked around with this message at 03:41 on May 20, 2011

PopRocks
Jul 4, 2003

WTF am I reading?

myron_cope posted:

Luckily for me I think our duties lean more to the "just show up" side of things. (The bachelor party already happened and was more just a get together with everyone, bride and bridesmaids included).
It might be cool for you and the other best man to organize a night out with the groomsmen closer to the wedding. The point is for the couple to get a chance to spend quality time with their friends solo without their significant other before they're married. If the groom isn't the strip club type, a poker night or nice steak dinner or LAN party or pub trivia could be fun. Something low key that won't overshadow the previous bachelor party, just some bonding with the groomsmen.

Fire In The Disco
Oct 4, 2007
I cannot change the gender of my unborn child and shouldn't waste my time or energy pretending he won't exist
Ditto on that idea, I believe my husband's bachelor party consisted of mass quantities of alcohol and video games at a friend's house.

myron cope
Apr 21, 2009

The only problem with that is I live about 5 hours away :( The other oddity is that we've all been friends for a long time, and the maid of honor is actually a guy, so the...man of honor? So I think there are 12 of us in the wedding party, and 10 are guys. The two girls are the girlfriend of the other best man and the bride's not-yet-cousin-in-law. Also said man of honor (should I keep calling him this?) was scheduled to be a groomsman until getting asked for that.

Still, it sounds like a good idea, I just can't do it :(

Sundae
Dec 1, 2005
Lesson of the year: The amount of hassle involved in dealing with your bridal party is exponentially related to their distance from you. With two exceptions (the MoH and best man), every single person in the bridal party is over 1,000 miles away. :(

On a happier note, we've finally defeated the motherly dragons who kept swooping in with terrible ideas. It was terrible having to fend off the idea of having a boat-wedding. What a TERRIBLE idea.

dopaMEAN
Dec 4, 2004

Sundae posted:

Lesson of the year: The amount of hassle involved in dealing with your bridal party is exponentially related to their distance from you. With two exceptions (the MoH and best man), every single person in the bridal party is over 1,000 miles away. :(

On a happier note, we've finally defeated the motherly dragons who kept swooping in with terrible ideas. It was terrible having to fend off the idea of having a boat-wedding. What a TERRIBLE idea.

You don't want to spend the night throwing up over the side of a boat? Your loss!

I really need to book my venue this week. I was putting it off because I had been busy with the semester ending, but we're just 7 months out now. Thankfully this venue is not booked very early, or so the lady kept telling me. She thought it was weird when I wanted to book a year in advance.

FISHMANPET
Mar 3, 2007

Sweet 'N Sour
Can't
Melt
Steel Beams
The lady has started doing the actual planning for our wedding in 5.5 months (we got the venue/food and photographer ages ago though) and already it's stressing us the hell out. Today at lunch we got in a fight over the color lavender and how it clashes with eggplant and really I have no idea what's going on I just want to be married to her.

Eggplant Wizard
Jul 8, 2005


i loev catte

FISHMANPET posted:

The lady has started doing the actual planning for our wedding in 5.5 months (we got the venue/food and photographer ages ago though) and already it's stressing us the hell out. Today at lunch we got in a fight over the color lavender and how it clashes with eggplant and really I have no idea what's going on I just want to be married to her.

Uh those are both purple how can they possibly clash?

But the answer is probably, "You are so right, honey. I'm glad you can deal with all these aesthetic considerations so well."

Chef Cutiecat
Apr 2, 2011
A good friend of mine has asked me to officiate her wedding and, while honored, I haven't the slightest clue how. She has already been married via the JOP/Courts, so paperwork isn't an issue. The closest I have ever been to a wedding is a reception for my friend's sister once...

So, the question then becomes, how in the world does one officiate a wedding? They are writing their own vows and things of that nature, but I really haven't the slightest clue as to how to go about this. I've googled some declarations of intent and things of that nature, but the process and everything else still seems very subjective based on the individuals, their faith, etc.

Neither of them is very religious, but they are both moderately conservative, so for their sake I would prefer to keep this 'traditional', insofar as that is possible when you're having a politically centrist agnostic officiate your 'Christian' wedding.

If anyone could give me some advice it would be greatly appreciated. A run-through as to what to expect, any advice on what to say, all of that stuff, would be a huge boon.

Ceridwen
Dec 11, 2004
Of course... If the Jell-O gets moldy, the whole thing should be set aflame.

Chef Cutiecat posted:

A good friend of mine has asked me to officiate her wedding and, while honored, I haven't the slightest clue how. She has already been married via the JOP/Courts, so paperwork isn't an issue. The closest I have ever been to a wedding is a reception for my friend's sister once...

So, the question then becomes, how in the world does one officiate a wedding? They are writing their own vows and things of that nature, but I really haven't the slightest clue as to how to go about this. I've googled some declarations of intent and things of that nature, but the process and everything else still seems very subjective based on the individuals, their faith, etc.

Neither of them is very religious, but they are both moderately conservative, so for their sake I would prefer to keep this 'traditional', insofar as that is possible when you're having a politically centrist agnostic officiate your 'Christian' wedding.

If anyone could give me some advice it would be greatly appreciated. A run-through as to what to expect, any advice on what to say, all of that stuff, would be a huge boon.

We are having a friend officiate our wedding and will be selecting the ceremony wording ourselves, because I think that's a lot to put on a friend. I would ask your friends if they can at least link you to some ceremonies that they like. If they don't have the time for that, then look up a few and link those to them and ask them to tell you which ones (or which elements of each one) they like best. Once you have a feel for what they want, it should be much easier.

You should also ask them if there is anything they specifically want you to avoid or anything they want you to make sure to say. Find out if they want to do any special extra portions for the ceremony (sand mixing thing, unity candle, etc.)

In terms of stuff to remember on the big day my main thing would be to make sure you practice speaking loudly and clearly. Get an idea from them of how large the wedding will be and what the location is like. It always sucks when the officiant is completely impossible to hear even for the people in the front couple of rows.

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BoyBlunder
Sep 17, 2008
So I proposed on Saturday and she said yes :)

Now comes the hard part - planning our destination wedding.

We're looking to get married in Santa Monica, CA. We're both in Boston right now. How difficult is this going to be? Are we going to have to spend a fuckton of money flying back and forth to CA to get stuff handled? What about flowers and a venue and all that jazz? I think it'd be difficult to plan any of that if we weren't out there.

Right now we have a guest list of about 150ish people (need to trim down) and obviously everyone will not be able to come, but we want their :10bux: and want them to see us, so we're thinking of doing ceremony out there with a small group of people + reception and something here back home for everyone else who wasn't able to make it. But how do we make the invitations so people aren't confused? Should we give them an option on the invitation to choose CA or MA?

Ahhhh this is so exciting and stressful already.

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