SeanBeansShako posted:

The main reason for volley fire is maximizing the concentration of musket balls hitting their targets.

quote:

With the guns from HEY GAL's era prepare for some much more crazy antics.

Deptfordx posted:

I've got a question from recent discussion in one of our nerdy RPG threads.

It's a common trope in such games (We were discussing the new edition of the Warhammer RPG) that personal gunpowder weapons (I.e. Pistols etc, not Cannon which famously could) can explode catastrophically on a particularly bad ('fumbled') roll.

How likely and/or common would it be for your Pistols and Arquebuses etc to suffer such a severe mishap when fired?

chitoryu12 posted:

He’s completely serious and kept responding, including saying there’s some British Army manual he can’t recall or find that says everyone is supposed to shoot from the hip.

HEY GUNS posted:

i posted a video of something similar happening long ago, where a guy is firing a small cannon that he charges out of a plastic bottle of powder, which he leaves open.

HEY GUNS posted:

it's more likely that a matchlock simply fails to go off

which they do ALL THE TIME, i've seen a match stub itself out in a pile of powder

edit: when i ran an rpg set in the 30yw i would have the players roll for a misfire and if they got a 1 on a 1d6 it would not fire.

i have seen blown tubes in museums and such though, it does happen, but if you want an explosion i would think it would be far more likely for a spark to hit an open powder flask. i posted a video of something similar happening long ago, where a guy is firing a small cannon that he charges out of a plastic bottle of powder, which he leaves open. black powder burns very dirty so you have hot sparks EVERYWHERE when you fire. EVERYWHERE.

Cythereal posted:

Or, at least for cannons, pack too much powder into a barrel forged of poor quality iron and the barrel simply bursts.

GotLag posted:

I had to go find that again:
https://gfycat.com/gifs/detail/activeformalalbatross

Alchenar posted:

Even if he were right, the snide point about British soldier not being allowed to aim doesn't really go anywhere given the British soldiers being depicted are in the middle of a very successful action.

Cythereal posted:

Or, at least for cannons, pack too much powder into a barrel forged of poor quality iron and the barrel simply bursts.

feedmegin posted:

'regiments with old guns were equipped with one 4.5" howitzer regiment and two with 18-pounders' - that second regiment should be 'platoon' right?

HEY GUNS posted:

or:
* fire
* doesn't go off, can't hear or feel that it doesn't go off because you're all het up on adrenaline
* reload
* now it goes off with two shots and two charges in it
* oops lol

Tias posted:

A Czech angrily busts into his local police station, demanding justice. The police chief asks what crime he wishes to report, and he says that two Swiss soldiers stole his Russian watch.

The officer mulls this over, then asks slowly "Citizen, that doesn't sound likely. Surely, it is more likely the case that two Russian soldiers stole your Swiss watch?

"Yes" The man agrees, adding "but that was you saying so, not me."

My Imaginary GF posted:

I was expecting soldiers to make more poo poo, piss, and cock jokes.

TerminalSaint posted:

Little late to jokes but:
When the British planes attack, the Germans take cover.
When the German planes attack, the Allies take cover.
When the American planes attack, everyone takes cover.

HEY GUNS posted:

thie one is from east germany

why do the volkspolizei travel in threes? one can read, one can write, and the last one is there to keep an eye on those intellectuals

HEY GUNS posted:

i don't think so, iirc the Swedes developed it during the 30yw and then a lot of people experimented with some variant of fire-by-platoon in that weird period nobody cares about between the 1650s and the War of Spanish Succession

bear in mind that until the very end of that time the musketeers are already a fair distance apart

edit: and they don't have horns anyway, for firing they have a rack of tiny bottles made out of wood or horn slung around their body, or a belt pouch of paper cartridges; for priming they have a square flask made of horn, bone, or metal

HEY GUNS posted:

forged iron barrels are made of iron slats and iron hoops (it's why we call them "barrels" lol) and if they go, they will split apart catastrophically. cast iron will fragment.

bronze is less brittle so it will just go bloop and bulge like a failing samsung

tonberrytoby posted:

Most of those are "insert nationality" jokes instead of specifically Russian jokes.

darthbob88 posted:

Related-

A Russian man walks into the local KGB office, and tells them that his parrot has been stolen.

The KGB officer on duty sympathizes, but tells the man that surely this is a matter for the civil police?

Of course, says the man, and he's going to them next. He's just here to tell the KGB that he disagrees entirely with whatever the parrot says.


Admittedly, this comes from Wikipedia on Russian jokes, but-

A local Russian duchess throws a grand ball, and invites everybody who's anybody.

She dances first with a local merchant. "Oh," she says, "Monsieur Merchant, you have a dip of sauce on your collar."

He goes white with shame and walks off with his head hanging low.

She dances with a minor noble. "M'lord Duke, you have a stain on your tunic."

He faints dead away.

She dances with a captain of hussars. "M'sieur Captain, you have mud on your boots."

"That's not mud, ma'am, that's poo poo. Don't worry, it'll fall off once it dries."

Phanatic posted:

I love the Latvian jokes. I have no idea why Latvia was chosen as the butt of them, but they're great. And dumb.

Knock knock.
Who is?
Is milkman.
Oh, wonderful, have not had milk many months. Please to come in.
Am tell joke. Is secret police.

What did man with one potato say to man with two potato?
Premise ridiculous, nobody have two potato.

Is so cold.
How cold is?
Very. Also is dark.

Why is 6 afraid 7?
Because 7 have many friend politburo.

quote:

Latvian jokes began as an instant messenger conversation between me and Ky Henderson. I was writing a book about the three years I spent living in Latvia and Ky was an editor at a magazine. I was working on a chapter about the Latvians' trademark 'black humor' and I wrote a quick joke and messaged it to Ky.

Ensign Expendable posted:

It's not just any Hussar captain, this is Poruchik (Lieutenant) Rzehvskiy, who is a famous character in Russian jokes and often prominently appears in jokes alongside War and Peace characters.

Ensign Expendable posted:

It's not just any Hussar captain, this is Poruchik (Lieutenant) Rzehvskiy, who is a famous character in Russian jokes and often prominently appears in jokes alongside War and Peace characters.

---

Lieutenant Rzhevskiy is telling a story to his men.
"I was walking through a forest one day, when I saw a great big..."
"rear end!" the men yell.
"No, no, a great big clearing. And in the clearing I saw a great big..."
"rear end!"
"No, not an rear end! In the clearing there was a great big house. And I opened the doors to the house, and in the house I saw a great big..."
"rear end!"
"No, it was a great big reception hall! And in the end of the hall, I saw a door. I opened it and saw a great big..."
"rear end!"
"Wow, how did you know? Have I told this story before?"

Perestroika posted:

IIRC they also found some napoleonic muskets found that had like 5+ shots rammed in there, never fired because the soldier forgot to prime the pan or didn't notice his flint got hosed.

zoux posted:

Shove it Carl Sagan

HEY GUNS posted:

any one of these would make a magnificent av

Nebakenezzer posted: