Anthropolis posted:You had me at rural alaskan clerkship. I've got some phone interviews coming up so let me send you PM. Go right ahead! Edit: Oh you already did!
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# ? Aug 31, 2010 02:10 |
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# ? Jun 5, 2024 09:01 |
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Ainsley McTree posted:Can I be a professor? I promise to be sober most of the time and not yell too much
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# ? Aug 31, 2010 02:23 |
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Ainsley McTree posted:Can I be a professor? I promise to be sober most of the time and not yell too much You don't need to be sober or do anything. Well, except when the visiting students come, you'll need to look competent and promise them $150k/yr
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# ? Aug 31, 2010 02:36 |
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First day of being employed! Had two other people start with me as Associates - both recent local T2 grads who just passed the bar, neither of whom summered with the firm and neither seemed like they had too much summer experience. One mentioned working as a paralegal. Soooo I guess you never know? Thought I'd give people some hope.
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# ? Aug 31, 2010 02:40 |
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nm posted:promise them $150k/yr I didn't say for who
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# ? Aug 31, 2010 02:46 |
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Ainsley McTree posted:Can I be a professor? I promise to be sober most of the time and not yell too much You have made 2 errors so far.
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# ? Aug 31, 2010 02:47 |
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For sheer weapons-grade bureaucracy, I always admired the Registrar's Office. At Cooley we have to declare a concentration (for some reason) (I guess technically you don't have to, but then you get lumped into the "no concentration" track which has its own requirements). Girl I knew was going into the litigation concentration, so she filled out the form and had one of the Innocence Project supervisors sign it. Which the registrar's office lost. They told her to have the professor make a copy of the original. Except, of course, that the document the office lost WAS the original. Okay, simple enough, have the professor sign a second form. Oh, this form? This form can't leave the office. We can't just GIVE YOU this form. I guess what I'm saying is I'd like to be Registrar.
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# ? Aug 31, 2010 03:15 |
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Ainsley McTree posted:I didn't say for who Speaking of jobs, grab an Intro to Accounting review book or something. The IRS should have another major hiring push in the next month or so. You won't start work until March, but it's something.
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# ? Aug 31, 2010 03:35 |
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nm posted:Alright, time to start Goon Law School. We should open it in California because gently caress the ABA state accreditation is where it's at and also there's a high population density to support us and people would be willing to move to CA from almost anywhere. E: I want to be Dean of Students
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# ? Aug 31, 2010 04:05 |
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TheMadMilkman posted:Speaking of jobs, grab an Intro to Accounting review book or something. The IRS should have another major hiring push in the next month or so. You won't start work until March, but it's something.
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# ? Aug 31, 2010 04:06 |
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Incredulous Red posted:We should open it in California because gently caress the ABA state accreditation is where it's at and also there's a high population density to support us and people would be willing to move to CA from almost anywhere. The advantage of no ABA though is that we then don't need to require 4 year degrees. And then we really clean up. University of Phoenix Law School. The real key jobs are: Recruiter Guy who sets up the loans These are the people who make University of Phoenix so profitable. the second guy is particularly important. We don't care so much about interests rates, just whether we get paid. Another idea: We require 1Ls to live on campus. Charge $1500/mo. for a shared room. Say it improves teamwork. Extra loan money straight to our pockets. Dean of Flunking the bottom 2/3 Spring Semester of 3rd year so out Bar numbers stay up: NM Head of Career Services: Ainsley Registrar: Alaemon Dean of Students: Incredulous Red Head of the Innocence Project: Whatever Grumblefish is calling himself. We still need: President: We need someone successful for this, with few morals. Does Clarence Thomas need a side gig? Dean of Admissions: Be willing to lie and admit everyone Provost: You're hosed Loan dude: We need someone good a math. Most important job. And we might need some profs. nm fucked around with this message at 04:20 on Aug 31, 2010 |
# ? Aug 31, 2010 04:10 |
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TheMadMilkman posted:Speaking of jobs, grab an Intro to Accounting review book or something. The IRS should have another major hiring push in the next month or so. You won't start work until March, but it's something. Do you need to have some kind of educational requirement, or is there just a test or something? nm posted:I agree, CA is a good idea. Though it sounds like we have an in with the ABA. At UConn where I did my undergrad, the business majors were required to buy laptops from the business school, even if they already had their own. We could do that! And then we could ban them from the classrooms anyway because it would be funny We could make an online law school. Do they have those yet? Ainsley McTree fucked around with this message at 04:14 on Aug 31, 2010 |
# ? Aug 31, 2010 04:12 |
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Ainsley McTree posted:Do you need to have some kind of educational requirement, or is there just a test or something? quote:We could make an online law school. Do they have those yet?
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# ? Aug 31, 2010 04:19 |
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Ainsley McTree posted:Can I be a professor? I promise to be sober most of the time and not yell too much You know how my Torts professor reenacted Palsgraf with toys, well I have even more toys
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# ? Aug 31, 2010 04:43 |
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I want in on Goon Law School. I call dibs on head of career services.
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# ? Aug 31, 2010 05:20 |
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nm posted:Have you ever worked for the university of Minnesota law school? They do both these And they'll have to use our laptops to get to it! It's brilliant! Seriously though I think I'm literally going to move to California, open up an unaccredited law school, charge $1,000/year tuition, teach nothing but the Bar and say "good luck". There's no laws against that right?
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# ? Aug 31, 2010 05:21 |
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Wow, Law Review is going to be a huge pain in the rear end, isn't it? I spent the entire day realizing how much I don't know about the law library and searching for books for a cite check... and this is only the first issue. Christ.
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# ? Aug 31, 2010 05:34 |
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nm posted:I agree, CA is a good idea. Though it sounds like we have an in with the ABA. I'm totally in as Provost. I love being that guy.
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# ? Aug 31, 2010 05:39 |
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Ainsley McTree posted:Seriously though I think I'm literally going to move to California, open up an unaccredited law school, charge $1,000/year tuition, teach nothing but the Bar and say "good luck". There's no laws against that right? the my garden shed school of law
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# ? Aug 31, 2010 05:41 |
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sigmachiev posted:I call dibs on head of career services. Ladies and gentlemen, the soon to be most hated man in the future Shack Next To Culver City In N Out School of Law
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# ? Aug 31, 2010 05:57 |
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Ainsley McTree posted:Do you need to have some kind of educational requirement, or is there just a test or something? Turns out I still have the old announcement saved on usajobs. Wall of text begins now: quote:Qualifications: The accounting assessment, if you don't have the credits, is a joke. Buy an intro to accounting review book off of Amazon and teach it to yourself in a night or two and you should pass.
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# ? Aug 31, 2010 06:02 |
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I think our new law school should offer a specialization in Internet Law. That ought to get a lot of the 0Ls to register.
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# ? Aug 31, 2010 06:18 |
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TheMadMilkman posted:Turns out I still have the old announcement saved on usajobs. Wall of text begins now: Interesting...interesting. I'll look into this, thanks. Though I do wonder if "I'm an accountant for the IRS" is a bigger getting laid repellent than "I'm unemployed" My conversations with women are kind of a fun rollercoaster though. Usually it goes Her: So what do you do? Me: I'm a lawyer... Her: *eyes light up* Me: ...technically Her: I'm gonna mingle
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# ? Aug 31, 2010 06:30 |
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I think our law school should have a cafeteria that serves tacos. They're cheap so there's a good profit margin, and it will keep the huddled masses complacent while they indenture their collective futures to filling our coffers.
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# ? Aug 31, 2010 06:34 |
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I am in, and will teach the mandatory 1L class Island Law, writing my own textbook, revising it slightly each year and requiring purchase of the new version. I will require an out-of-the-way office with frosted windows and a hidden escape hatch behind my office chair that dumps me directly into a discreet alleyway, bar or unused classroom when I lean back really far. On the first day of class, all students will be required to fill out a Mad Libs form of nouns, verbs, etc. that will be used in a pre-planned form letter when they ask me for letters of recommendation. Jennifer has a very chocolatey personality and her biggest assets are her railing, cellphone and Optimus Prime. Every Friday will be Life Skills Friday, meaning that I expect whoever I call upon to be drunk, but still able to discuss cases via the Socratic Method. Bonus points to the final grade are awarded if the student is able to maintain civility when it becomes entirely obvious that I haven't read the cases, repeat the same question with different language, repeat the same question in a different language, text other people while they answer, or text the student answering the question while they answer. wut u doin tonite? There will be no penis jokes or snickering during the discussion of Chapter 3, Cockfighting. There will be a two-week period mid-semester in which I will be absent but students will be required to work on their floats for the Island Law parade. Points will be awarded based upon theme, execution, and aesthetics, with bonus points going to the team that blares the most annoying Filipino pop music. I will usually start class 10-25 minutes late, and will likely spill over into the next period. Students should make their own arrangements with the professor whose class is next. Though I do expect the students to be prepared for class, those who are not prepared when called upon may choose to take the 'karaoke' option, and perform one of three songs that I will present. At least two will be in English, and points will be awarded primarily on effort and perseverence rather than tone. Am already sewing elbow patches onto my barong.
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# ? Aug 31, 2010 06:35 |
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Abugadu posted:I am in, and will teach the mandatory 1L class Island Law, writing my own textbook, revising it slightly each year and requiring purchase of the new version. Chapter 4: Coconut Crabs, Conservation and the Law. Must include a recipe for homemade aioli in the notes for one of the cases
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# ? Aug 31, 2010 07:04 |
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Incredulous Red posted:Chapter 4: Coconut Crabs, Conservation and the Law. Must include a recipe for homemade aioli in the notes for one of the cases Aioli? Aren't those those things in your lungs? Oh no, is Guam one of those cannibal islands?
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# ? Aug 31, 2010 07:29 |
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Ainsley McTree posted:Oh no, is Guam one of those cannibal islands? Well, some of the girls ARE head-hunters...
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# ? Aug 31, 2010 07:51 |
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Red Bean Juice posted:You know how my Torts professor reenacted Palsgraf with toys, well I have even more toys Due to the spike in enrollment, we have had to divide up 1L classes. All incoming 1Ls are now required to take the following courses: Tort Law Prior to Palsgraf Civ Pro Prior to Pennoyer Con Law Prior to Wickard
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# ? Aug 31, 2010 08:03 |
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Alaemon posted:Due to the spike in enrollment, we have had to divide up 1L classes. All incoming 1Ls are now required to take the following courses: This is a joke, right?
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# ? Aug 31, 2010 11:08 |
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I would like to reserve a spot as the doddering old professor emeritus. I will teach two classes a semester, admiralty law and personal tax, even though I have never practiced in either area. I don't even do my own taxes. Due to my age, I will add some gravitas to you whipper-snappers. I will wear old guy hats and drive a 1985 Chrysler New Yorker to campus. I will call students by wrong names all year long. I will not allow students to "pass" in class, because that is not how we did it when I was a student. Not only will laptops be banned, cell phones will be collected at the door. I will teach with lecture and socratic method only, no powerpoint or other fancy teaching aids. The books I assign will have last been printed in the mid 1960's.
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# ? Aug 31, 2010 11:14 |
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The fiesta cat guy has to teach CrimPro. e: yeah, he's not a JD, but in order to raise startup funds you could grant honorary degrees a polite period of time after receiving generous donations. joat mon fucked around with this message at 14:17 on Aug 31, 2010 |
# ? Aug 31, 2010 13:41 |
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Can I be Diversity Coordinator? I promise to start out normal and slowly ramp up the racism until it reaches the point where we are giving out the prestigious Uncle Tom Scholarship. Bonus points if I can teach a class called "Admiralty Law, Discipline and the Triangle Trade"
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# ? Aug 31, 2010 13:53 |
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In this month's ABA Journal there is an awesome juxtaposition of articles that I had to laugh at. First is an article about how "legal businesses" are gaining steam---these are "entreprenurs" who figured out that law firms bill for poo poo that clients don't want to pay for and that can be done routinely, by laypeople, or even automatically. Of course, the ABA gives lip service to its model rules and how they prohibit the unauthorized practice of law, but then quotes someone who basically says "So what? Who cares about the ABA rules? We're printing money at the expense of lawyers," and the article approves. Lawyers must adapt to these changing times! Right after that is an article about unemployed graduates with $200,000 in loans and lawyers who are selling poo poo on ebay to survive. The ABA's take: unemployment is good for the soul and lets people figure out what they really want to do with their lives. gently caress the ABA. PS this is the "legal rebels" issue, where they glorify solos with bizarre niche practice areas as if that's a piece of cake.
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# ? Aug 31, 2010 14:06 |
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Phil Moscowitz posted:gently caress the ABA. The Journal has taken a serious nosedive in quality with the advent of legal blogging. It's like we decided to say "me too", only in a print version and 8 years too late. The ABA puts on a brave public face but it is chaos around here. We relied for so long on the continued fattening of our member base (huge firms and their equally huge wallets) and now that firms are cutting unnecessary expenses, we're scrambling to make up the difference. With embarrassing things like "Legal Rebels" and "see guys look we have supported solos all along". Any solo with half a brain in her head knows the ABA has little to offer and what little concessions they are making now will disappear as soon as the big firms take back off. There are some good networking opportunities for big firm partners and people interested in affecting policy on a national level through our lobbying efforts but if you're not in one of those two categories, the grim reality is that the ABA hasn't cared much about you for a long time and is only pretending to now. VVVV--- You'll be dropped automatically if you just ignore the bills. If you have any interest at all though there is a new pricing structure and it's pretty dirt cheap for your first year. I wish we offered more to keep people interested after their free year but it seems like state and local Bars do a much better job of that. Defleshed fucked around with this message at 14:33 on Aug 31, 2010 |
# ? Aug 31, 2010 14:27 |
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My free year with ABA is just about up. Do I need to call in to cancel my membership or can I just not pay any dues until ABA cancels for me?
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# ? Aug 31, 2010 14:29 |
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Draile posted:My free year with ABA is just about up. Do I need to call in to cancel my membership or can I just not pay any dues until ABA cancels for me? Here's a lesson I learned as a puppy lawyer, delivered in the voice of my managing partner: Pick up the loving phone and call them you pussy
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# ? Aug 31, 2010 14:36 |
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That's not what I mean. If I can continue my membership for free until they cancel for me, without any consequences for doing so, then I get more out of my membership than if I just cancel right now.
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# ? Aug 31, 2010 14:43 |
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I want to be the Externship Coordinator. I will call up solo firms and say, "Hey, need a gofer?"
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# ? Aug 31, 2010 14:47 |
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# ? Jun 5, 2024 09:01 |
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JudicialRestraints posted:Can I be Diversity Coordinator? I promise to start out normal and slowly ramp up the racism until it reaches the point where we are giving out the prestigious Uncle Tom Scholarship. Sorry dude, Diversity Coordinator is Izzy's job. Can I teach a course titled Representation of Legal Structures in Time-Limited Global Planning Scenarios? We'll just play turn-based strategy games.
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# ? Aug 31, 2010 14:52 |