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ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


This is one of the all-time best: Dolphins Evolve Opposable Thumbs

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Devor
Nov 30, 2004
Lurking more.

ultrafilter posted:

This is one of the all-time best: Dolphins Evolve Opposable Thumbs

Not as good without the "Oh poo poo, says Humanity" subheading.

Evil Mastermind
Apr 28, 2008

At Least It’s Been A While Since Story About Somebody Eating Somebody Else, Reports Violence-Weary Nation

Pope Nervous For Annual Performance Review With God

KillHour
Oct 28, 2007


The MSJ posted:

Everything you did not know about Fight Club.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nl_KiNO2YH0

:nws: ending, yo.

He's not joking. It's REALLY :nws:. Like, seriously don't watch this at work unless you work for Vice or something.

Picture of a flaccid dick for like 15 straight seconds.

zakharov
Nov 30, 2002

:kimchi: Tater Love :kimchi:
I am so happy Today Now! is back

http://www.theonion.com/video/parenting-expert-has-nerve-to-tell-you-how-to-rais,37942/?playlist=today-now

DaveWoo
Aug 14, 2004

Fun Shoe
Would You Survive A Bear Attack?

Arsonist Daria
Feb 27, 2011

Requiescat in pace.

This is basically a Twine game, except good unlike most of them.

Roobanguy
May 31, 2011


i made a friend :3:

Nemo
Feb 24, 2001

Uh! Double up Uh! Uh!
Oh god, the host doing the jerk off gesture just killed me.

bilperkins2
Nov 22, 2004

Fashion for Dogz
:france:

Found this in my Facebook feed; they had tagged Obama in it, saying "We should be ashamed. Barack Obama needs to fix this":

Embarrassing: The U.S. Is Ranked 182nd In The World Alphabetically

Arsonist Daria
Feb 27, 2011

Requiescat in pace.

bilperkins2 posted:

Found this in my Facebook feed; they had tagged Obama in it, saying "We should be ashamed. Barack Obama needs to fix this":

Embarrassing: The U.S. Is Ranked 182nd In The World Alphabetically

Petition to rename the US ***AAAMERICALAND***

Danger
Jan 4, 2004

all desire - the thirst for oil, war, religious salvation - needs to be understood according to what he calls 'the demonogrammatical decoding of the Earth's body'
Don't know about you guys but I live in America's United States.

Dr. Arbitrary
Mar 15, 2006

Bleak Gremlin
Maybe we can add clan tags to the beginning:
[NATO]United States

Although Iran, North Korea and Iraq will have us beat with [AoE]]

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


A Happy Ending! After 3 Years Of Raising This Panda In Captivity, Researchers Are Finally Releasing Her Into The Open Ocean!

Phelddagrif
Jan 28, 2009

Before I do anything, I think, well what hasn't been seen. Sometimes, that turns out to be something ghastly and not fit for society. And sometimes that inspiration becomes something that's really worthwhile.
This is the best one I've seen in a long while:

GOP Builds Full-Scale Replica Of Struggling Ohio Town To Train Presidential Hopefuls

The article itself is great, but that last line, man. That's loving killer.

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


Cost Of Living Now Outweighs Benefits

The MSJ
May 17, 2010

Need cheat codes for Simcity 4?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jv6vKo2z3mw

Jet Jaguar
Feb 12, 2006

Don't touch my bags if you please, Mr Customs Man.



Health Experts Recommend Standing Up At Desk, Leaving Office, Never Coming Back

I was sorely tempted to place this URL in my annual review and call it done.

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
8 Iggy Azalea GIFs You Need To See Right Now, Mom. Please Wake Up, Mom. Please.

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


We Already Knew The NSA Spies On Us. We Already Know Everything. Everything Is Boring.

Evil Mastermind
Apr 28, 2008



"Weird Books (Probably Korans)" is the new SOME GIZMO.

Colonel J
Jan 3, 2008

Came here to post this one. It instantly became one of my favorites on Clickhole.

Grem
Mar 29, 2004
Probation
Can't post for 16 days!

I killed it!

The MSJ
May 17, 2010

Now you too can make yourself look like Channing Tatum's father.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsX1OezTNYM

The MSJ has a new favorite as of 10:48 on Feb 10, 2015

Tracula
Mar 26, 2010

PLEASE LEAVE

This is genuinely a good CYOA.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Grem posted:

I killed it!

Not only did I achieve a spiritual connection with the bear, I survived!

The park ranger, however, did not.

Edit: 10 Jokes from Children's Shows You Didn't Get as a Kid - this is pretty amazing.

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


I Am The New Person You Have To Know About Now

Evil Mastermind
Apr 28, 2008

Smoove B is back, baby.

Hello Sailor
May 3, 2006

we're all mad here

Damnit, Onion. This is going to be me within a couple of years.

Okuteru
Nov 10, 2007

Choose this life you're on your own

Hello Sailor posted:

Damnit, Onion. This is going to be me within a couple of years.

This was me last semester. :tinfoil:

Dr. Arbitrary
Mar 15, 2006

Bleak Gremlin
Astronomers Discover New Planet That Really Makes Earth Look Like poo poo

ZDar Fan
Oct 15, 2012

From Clickhole's Facebook page

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


Colonel Who Needlessly Sent 44 Men To Their Deaths ‘Dumbfounded’ By Super Bowl Play

Davros1
Jul 19, 2007

You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible



Jerusalem posted:

Not only did I achieve a spiritual connection with the bear, I survived!

The park ranger, however, did not.

Edit: 10 Jokes from Children's Shows You Didn't Get as a Kid - this is pretty amazing.

George Carlin should have written more children's tv

DaveWoo
Aug 14, 2004

Fun Shoe
Another "Clickventure" - Need To Get Right With The Lord? Go To Church!

I managed to sneak a peek at God Himself :D

ElectricWizard
Oct 21, 2008

DaveWoo posted:

Another "Clickventure" - Need To Get Right With The Lord? Go To Church!

I managed to sneak a peek at God Himself :D

This one is incredible.

Tracula
Mar 26, 2010

PLEASE LEAVE
I've said it like half a dozen times in this thread now but how the gently caress does The Onion/Clickhole keep getting consistently better all the time?

Dr. Arbitrary
Mar 15, 2006

Bleak Gremlin

Tracula posted:

I've said it like half a dozen times in this thread now but how the gently caress does The Onion/Clickhole keep getting consistently better all the time?

After the first month I thought they'd have used up all their good ideas.

They have really tapped into something amazing here.

SpiderHyphenMan
Apr 1, 2010

by Fluffdaddy
Montana Lawmaker Proposes Banning Yoga Pants
(It's American Voices. This happened for real. In 2015.)
And then we have this from over two years ago.

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ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


Can You Identify These Candies Or Are You An Idiot?

I'm an idiot.

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