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FISHMANPET posted:
I was afraid of the vacuum for years because growing up we had an old lovely one growing up that sucked a rug into itself and caught on fire. Queue me refusing to vacuum until my fiancee and I got a dyson like 15 years later. edit: If it really is that bad for her, why can't you do the laundry and she do something you don't like doing?
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Jul 11, 2011 20:41
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Tigntink posted:I was afraid of the vacuum for years because growing up we had an old lovely one growing up that sucked a rug into itself and caught on fire. Queue me refusing to vacuum until my fiancee and I got a dyson like 15 years later. Like cooking or cleaning? Oh wait, can't do those either  She's lucky I'm so crazy in love with her. E: I'm done, before this turns into an E/N "Bitch about your fiancee thread"
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Jul 11, 2011 21:00
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.... I don't think you guys are ready for marriage. But yeah, please stop it or take it to e/n.
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Jul 11, 2011 21:04
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FISHMANPET posted:In my state a marriage license is 1/3 the cost ($40 vs $120) if you get counseling (though that's not why I would do it). Since we're not at all religous, we can't go see a priest, so I have to find a someone "licensed to practice marriage My fiance and I just completed counseling with a really cool Episcopalian minister, and I'd highly recommend going hippie-Protestant if the Catholic thing gets you down. There wasn't much god talk or anything like that — she was just there to listen, and that was great.
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Jul 11, 2011 23:54
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I have a general ring question: I've been losing a good bit of weight since my fiancee gave me the ring and he did a great job at choosing correctly when I first got it in april but now it's slipping and sliding everywhere. Should I wait until I'm down to my target size to get the ring resized or should I resize it multiple times? Tiffanys will do it for free I think?
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Jul 12, 2011 00:59
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If you're still losing weight then I would wait a bit. They can give you a temporary plastic insert that will hold the ring secure even as your finger size fluctuates.
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Jul 12, 2011 01:12
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FISHMANPET posted:In my state a marriage license is 1/3 the cost ($40 vs $120) if you get counseling (though that's not why I would do it). Since we're not at all religous, we can't go see a priest, so I have to find a someone "licensed to practice marriage Ask for recommendations for someone from the church. It's free, and not all of them will treat you like horrible heathens. My husband and I were in the same boat, but a friend of his recommended his catholic priest. The guy was VERY laid back, incredibly nice, and was very respectful of the fact that we are both agnostic. It doesn't matter what religion they are, as long as they're respectful, and you feel comfortable around them, and comfortable talking about personal matters with them.
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Jul 12, 2011 03:14
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So on the topic of church, I'm about to have "the talk" with my girlfriend's father this weekend. She goes to church every Sunday, I go maybe once a year when I'm forced to go. Her parents are pretty religious and I don't think they know I am not. At all. Anyway, her brother-in-law and I are pretty good friends and I asked him how it went when he was about to propose. He said most of the conversation was centered around how church was going to play a role in their marriage. Well poo poo. I mean, I'll go with my girlfriend if she wants me to, but as far as raising kids in a way I don't agree with, well I'm not sure how to approach or answer that question other than "I respect what she believes and I know it's important to her so I support that". I don't know how to have an entire conversation about this, so any thoughts?
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Jul 12, 2011 22:07
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Well, what did you two agree on when you've talked about it? I'd bring up "How our children are brought up is very important to us, and we come from two different backgrounds. This is what we've agreed to do." At least that way you're not saying that it's YOU refusing to do something--it's what you've both decided.
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Jul 12, 2011 22:11
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I don't think we ever decided on an actual plan because kids are a long way off. She wants her children to go to church, and I don't have a problem with that but she thinks it may be a problem if I'm not enthusiastic about it. Honestly, I really don't care about religion at all. I could care less what god/gods someone believes in as long as they don't try to use that to interfere with my life. Basically, I'm indifferent to the whole thing and if I was asked how religion would guide my relationship with my girlfriend an honest answer would be "not at all." That's what I'm worried about discussing.
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Jul 12, 2011 22:28
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mintskoal posted:I don't think we ever decided on an actual plan because kids are a long way off. She wants her children to go to church, and I don't have a problem with that but she thinks it may be a problem if I'm not enthusiastic about it.
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Jul 12, 2011 22:33
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Sorry, wall of text ahoy. Before you even get to the "talking to her dad" part... mintskoal posted:I don't think we ever decided on an actual plan because kids are a long way off. She wants her children to go to church, and I don't have a problem with that but she thinks it may be a problem if I'm not enthusiastic about it. See that bold part? I think that is a problem. It is a disagreement about something that will, when you two decide it's time for kids, be a major issue. The fact that you don't know how to handle a conversation with her dad about this and admit that she thinks there might be a problem makes me think that you don't really have a resolution yet, even if you do think it's a non-issue. Sit down and talk with your girlfriend through the entire kids and religion thing again, and make sure you are both absolutely, 100% on the same page for it, that you are comfortable with what she wants to do, and that she is comfortable with what you want to do. Your answers may very well change in the future, but you need to be certain that you are both on the same page now. This will likely also make your conversation with her dad easier as well because you'll go into it knowing exactly how it is going to play out (as per your current thoughts and beliefs - about all you can hope for as far as planning goes). Like you said, you don't have a problem with the kids going to church. You also said you don't care what god people worship as long as it doesn't interfere with your life. What happens when she decides both parents really need to be involved at the church and starts asking you to go every Sunday "for the good of the kids" or something of that sort? Are you comfortable with that? How about when family prayer time appears, or when she wants to introduce grace before meals, or when the kids start CCD or sunday school or whatever her church's equivalent is? Do the two of you have an answer for "Why doesn't daddy have to go to church and we do? I wanna stay home too!" What is her answer if they ask her? What is your answer? My opinion: Push back talking to her dad, and sit down and work out a plan with your girlfriend now and make sure you can at least reach an agreement at this time in your lives. Talk through it with her and make damned certain you two are in agreement and have a plan even if the plan changes later. Sundae fucked around with this message at 22:58 on Jul 12, 2011 |
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Jul 12, 2011 22:55
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mintskoal posted:I'm Agnostic, but I'm going to marry a Christian and spend holidays with her Christian family... What you've described is a recipe for future resentment. Either on your side or hers. Unless she's willing to renounce both her faith and her parents. Talk it out. You may mutually decide that the relationship won't work in the long term. Her father will likely counsel you not to get married, anyway.
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Jul 13, 2011 00:56
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mintskoal posted:Yeah, get that poo poo down before you're stuck in an irreconcilable situation.
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Jul 13, 2011 04:25
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The closer I come to my wedding the more I dislike it. I love my g/f, but the whole institution of marriage in our society is... not my thing. There is just so much pressure around it that I felt that it was completely unavoidable. I certainly have no lingering thoughts revolving around if I want to be with my g/f, it revolves entirely around how I feel about the whole concept of marriage. I feel really guilty about it. It'll make her happy though, and if it didn't happen I'm sure there would be issues with her family, so it isn't something to get to bent out of shape about. It will be a nice ceremony, very small (just our immediate family) and classy in a really beautiful location that has significance to us. As much as I am hesitant about the whole marriage idea, I will enjoy that part. 
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Jul 13, 2011 05:04
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Ghost of Castro posted:The closer I come to my wedding the more I dislike it. I love my g/f, but the whole institution of marriage in our society is... not my thing. There is just so much pressure around it that I felt that it was completely unavoidable. I certainly have no lingering thoughts revolving around if I want to be with my g/f, it revolves entirely around how I feel about the whole concept of marriage. I feel really guilty about it. I felt the same way you did about everything...but I had a blast on my wedding day, so hopefully you will, too!
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Jul 13, 2011 05:13
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mintskoal posted:I could care less what "couldn't" care less.  Anyway, how you raise your kids is really important to be on the same page on BEFORE you get married. It doesn't matter if it's a long way off. Do you really want to decide to have a kid in 10 years only to discover that you have two completely different ideas of how to raise a child?
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Jul 13, 2011 06:36
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I was wondering if anyone had any advice or recommendations for me. My girlfriend and I want to get engaged and I want to get her a ring. My budget right now is around $4000 and I'd like to get 1 carat diamond. My girlfriend says she really wants it to "sparkle". Is my $4000 price point way too low for that size diamond? I have no idea on these matters.
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Jul 13, 2011 07:14
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Marxist Glue posted:I was wondering if anyone had any advice or recommendations for me. My girlfriend and I want to get engaged and I want to get her a ring. Someone who's a jeweler here will probably have better info but from my recent shopping experience, probably. You're paying to say it's 1ct and you're likely going to wind up with something that does not sparkle or is considerably yellow, along with having a very basic solitaire setting in gold (which may be fine for you). Admittedly, I was looking at round stones which I believe are more expensive but sparkle more. That said, why does it need to be 1ct? One thing I discovered is that the jump from .9 to 1ct was big, but they really don't look different. The money you save buying under 1ct you can spend on a better cut or quality stone and a setting, many of which will may a stone look bigger or like it has more sparkle. Take a look at halo settings, which have a halo of small stones around the center stone. And don't forget to include the setting in your budget.
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Jul 13, 2011 13:24
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You could talk with her about whether she'd consider moissanite. It is a factory-made mineral (it only occurs naturally in SPACE ROCKS, I gather) and from what people have said here, I hear it glitters & sparkles even more than diamonds.
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Jul 13, 2011 13:33
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Marxist Glue posted:My budget right now is around $4000 and I'd like to get 1 carat diamond. My girlfriend says she really wants it to "sparkle". Is my $4000 price point way too low for that size diamond? I have no idea on these matters. You can definitely do it. You'll need to be in the H to I color range, but you can go J color if the diamond is cut properly (a J color can face up perfectly white - Trade secret there). Looking in an SI1 or SI2 clarity - No worries there because there are SI diamond out there that are perfectly eyeclean. You just have to look for them. My advice to stretch your budget would be to go for a fancy shape. Pear, Oval, Marquise, etc. The Asian markets are demanding only round diamonds so they're very expensive now, but the fancy shapes are still priced very reasonably. Also, look for things you can trade in towards the new ring. Old or broken jewelry, old engagement rings, sterling silver. Every year I always have a customer or two that says "I don't have any money, but I do have this box of old silverware" and we're able to make a deal just on their trade-in.
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Jul 13, 2011 14:53
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JohnnyRnR posted:You can definitely do it. You'll need to be in the H to I color range, but you can go J color if the diamond is cut properly (a J color can face up perfectly white - Trade secret there). Looking in an SI1 or SI2 clarity - No worries there because there are SI diamond out there that are perfectly eyeclean. You just have to look for them. That's very interesting about the trade-ins. I never knew about that. Thank you everyone for the advice so far. I have an earring of her grandmothers that has a diamond that a little smaller than 3/4. She said she would prefer something bigger than that. She has also told me just to mount her grandmother's earring but I want to get her something bigger. I just wanted to clarify that so that she doesn't sound like a greedy bitch. She isn't. She's pretty adamant about wanting a round diamond. Thanks for the advice about the J color being pretty clear. I guess I just have to go in and start looking around. The setting itself can just be plain white gold.
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Jul 13, 2011 22:25
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My round, 1.5 carat moissanite solitaire set in white gold was well under your budget. Like, by a ton. I couldn't be happier with it, too. I really love the fire in my stone! And the clarity is great. I have seven small diamonds set in my wedding band, and compared to each other, they look the same (the moissanite isn't green tinted or anything). When my now-husband proposed:  On me, soon after having it resized:  Fire In The Disco fucked around with this message at 02:12 on Jul 14, 2011 |
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Jul 14, 2011 02:09
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Hey y'all. I'm sure these things have been covered at some point before but I haven't got the patience to wade through a bajillion pages, so I'll just ask. Our wedding's not til next summer, so we're in the 'comfortably relaxed' stage of planning at this point, but there are a few things I've been looking into lately and I figured you folks might be able to help. Firstly, my fiance wants wingtips. The black and white, super-classy dress shoes. Yeah. While it might be possible to rent them, he wants to buy them ideally. So does anyone know whereabouts we might be able to find some that won't require us to sell our firstborn? He prefers the ones that are more white than black apparently. Secondly, we both want gemstone rings for our wedding bands - mine with rubies, his with sapphires or emeralds. This is, of course, looking to be expensive as hell. Any recommendations on where to look for deals/reputable sources? We're in Canada, if that helps. Any input would be grand.
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Jul 15, 2011 03:05
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My first thought was zappos.com, but they don't ship to Canada. I would look for style recommendations on rockabilly and ska message boards, those guys love wingtips and probably know how to get them for cheap. Do you have any friends or relatives in the US that can have stuff you order sent to their address and then ship it to you in Canada?
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Jul 15, 2011 16:21
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N'thing the moissanite, as long as you're not hung up on having a "real diamond". My fiance is still in love with hers, gets stopped often by people, has had multiple jewelers ask to examine it and rave about how its the most perfect "diamond" they have ever seen. 1ct round 
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Jul 15, 2011 18:06
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Valeria Victrix posted:Hey y'all. I'm sure these things have been covered at some point before but I haven't got the patience to wade through a bajillion pages, so I'll just ask. Our wedding's not til next summer, so we're in the 'comfortably relaxed' stage of planning at this point, but there are a few things I've been looking into lately and I figured you folks might be able to help. Firstly, my fiance wants wingtips. The black and white, super-classy dress shoes. Yeah. While it might be possible to rent them, he wants to buy them ideally. So does anyone know whereabouts we might be able to find some that won't require us to sell our firstborn? He prefers the ones that are more white than black apparently. Secondly, we both want gemstone rings for our wedding bands - mine with rubies, his with sapphires or emeralds. This is, of course, looking to be expensive as hell. Any recommendations on where to look for deals/reputable sources? We're in Canada, if that helps. Any input would be grand. Look here for the shoes: http://www.dancestore.com/Mens-Dance-Shoes/products/4/ It doesn't matter if you're not a dancer - the leather soles are just old-fashioned standard. I have several pairs of Aris Allens and they are very nice - comfortable, classy, have held up through some extreme wear (which you probably don't need to worry about anyway). Just for the record, I am a girl, but have a couple pairs of the men's shoes in very tiny sizes.
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Jul 15, 2011 23:19
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My fiance wants me to build a website for our wedding and while I could certainly do that I'm thinking I might just save myself some time and use one of the sites that provides those generic personal sites for like $10/month. There's just so many out there. Anyone have any experience with these and could recommend one? Thanks
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Jul 16, 2011 00:24
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Rhaegar posted:My fiance wants me to build a website for our wedding and while I could certainly do that I'm thinking I might just save myself some time and use one of the sites that provides those generic personal sites for like $10/month. There's just so many out there. Anyone have any experience with these and could recommend one? The Knot will give you a website for free, the URL will be something like http://groomnameandbridename.ourwedding.com.
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Jul 16, 2011 05:03
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Photographer question yet again. I recently discovered and fell in love with wedding photo god Jose Villa (http://josevillablog.com/). Anyone know of similar photographers in the PacNW, specifically Seattle for under 4k?
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Jul 16, 2011 05:41
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Okay, sorry for the late post, but I had to wait until she was out of the room : I've read the OP and gone through most of the links, but I'm hoping people smarter than me can put all the knowledge they have in the hopper and spit out a real answer. I'm looking for a good, original engagement ring that won't break the bank. I like meteorites and non-standard stones and some place that will put it in a pretty ring. Most of the stuff I'm looking at is in the '2 months salary' range, when we're looking for the 'here's a pretty ring, now let's jump over a broom' method. I know this is horribly vague, but anyone got any ideas where I can look for something pretty, not expensive, but different? We're pretty drat poor (grad-student and a non-profit worker), so it's a definite thought that counts situation. If I could find a place, petrified-wood in a wood in-lay would be really nice, for instance. If I'm retarded tell me to gently caress off.
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Jul 16, 2011 05:59
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Xiahou Dun posted:If I could find a place, petrified-wood in a wood in-lay would be really nice, for instance. Someone in this thread recommended this Etsy shop to us, and we both thought the wooden rings were gorgeous. You can get a custom ring with near whatever wood you want, with whatever inlay you want - different crushed gemstones, minerals, other woods, ect. You have to take good care of wooden rings if you want them to last, but they're unique and beautiful, and also work well on a budget.
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Jul 16, 2011 07:32
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Xiahou Dun posted:Okay, sorry for the late post, but I had to wait until she was out of the room : https://www.moissaniteco.com You can even buy and return a stone just to look at it if you doubt the quality. Get a real diamond later when you can afford it if it's important. loose stones- http://www.moissaniteco.com/loose_stones3.html
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Jul 16, 2011 07:48
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Holy loving poo poo, I am getting married in like 6 hours.  Got a whole bowl of cheerios sitting next to me, and I cant eat because I am so nervous.
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Jul 16, 2011 12:05
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What's up wedding day buddy! I am forcing down some Cheerios as well. 5 hours 15 minutes to go!
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Jul 16, 2011 12:45
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Thanks for the input! I'll definitely check out those sites. He doesn't want much, but he does want those shoes, so I'd like to keep him happy. And hell, if I get snazzy new shoes then so should he.
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Jul 16, 2011 23:55
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Does anyone have suggestions of where to/how to sell my wedding dress now that all is said and done? I've never sold a bigger ticket item online, and I'm not sure if I want to play the Craigslist game, although cash would be nice. How long should I expect for a turnaround, if any of you have sold yours before? I'm thinking of listing at half the price I paid, plus the expected cost of shipping with insurance, ~$450. Obviously I know not to take checks/cashier's checks/money orders/wire transfers/'I'll pay you when I get it I swear' sort of things. It's a little bit of an unusual dress (see below- just below knee length, Priscilla of Boston 'Karalyn', and it was very skillfully taken in from a sample 10 to a 6-8). Would something like this even move in SA Mart? Goons are a little more reliable than Craigslist, I'd imagine, but it's a pretty niche item for an internet comedy forum... Ah, I loved it, but I know it's not going to be worn again, and we have such a tiny closet... P.S. To any goonettes doing an outdoor wedding with heels, practice in a cheapo/easily cleanable pair on a lawn so you can learn to walk without sinking in  
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Jul 17, 2011 20:39
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Have you looked at Once Wed? It's an online marketplace to sell used wedding dresses.
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Jul 17, 2011 22:10
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For the first time in my life, I've had to bookmark this thread. Corkscrew says he got an idea or two for the proposal from you fine people, so...thank you very much for the good advice. It was perfect. 
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Jul 19, 2011 00:08
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Xiahou Dun posted:
My boyfriend and I ordered a set of custom rings from http://www.etsy.com/shop/MinterandRichterDes. The rings are beautiful and the husband and wife team were absolutely fabulous to work with.
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Jul 20, 2011 01:20
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