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Hm. Have you ever thought of trying out anal yourself? Maybe pegging and a reach-around would do it for you?
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Aug 25, 2018 12:39
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Nothing wrong with doing anal for a while and then finishing with a reacharound/mutual mastrubation/etc. if anal isn't enough for you to finish.
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Aug 26, 2018 00:45
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BirdOfPlay posted:It just doesn't feel good physically. In the act it's enjoyable but not something easily leads me to finish. Kinda like receiving oral. Out of curiosity, what is your primary method of getting off? You've mentioned you dislike oral and anal is the only method available for penetration, so I'm assuming vaginal is also off the table. I'm wondering if you mainly get off via masturbation and hand jobs if you may be experiencing symptoms of death grip - where if your penis isn't being strangled you can't get off.
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Aug 26, 2018 02:23
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syntaxfunction posted:I've read through this thread and was tempted to make a throwaway account but gently caress it, I'm not ashamed of having a sex life. I have found lots of tips on r/sex forum. Personally, I like to use my tongue & lips going up and down, I have a small mouth so I try to do my best. I really want to deep throat, but have been unsuccessful, just need more practice!
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Aug 28, 2018 00:38
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I finished the antibiotics that I was put on for bacterial vaginosis and I definitely feel a lot better now. Pain and swelling is gone! My sex drive may even be starting to come back. I hope the pain with sex gets better too. Haven’t tried any penetration yet, since I’m on my period right now and we just had a busy weekend out of town with friends. During our first evening at the hotel, a bunch of folks were pregaming in the hotel room before going for drinks. One of the gals is in an open marriage and has the hots for a couple of the guys in the group that she was sharing a room with. Her and one of the guys were hoping to bring in the other guy for a threesome (possibly foursome with one of the other girls). However, the guy they wanted to bring in did not know this was their plan and was very uncomfortable when confronted with it because he was a virgin. He ended up coming for drinks with us and talking through his anxieties. He’s a pretty anxious dude and has been having a ton of stress with work, and a recent work-related injury. None of us would have pegged him for a virgin. My advice to him was that he needs to do whatever is best for him mentally and that he shouldn’t feel pressured to do anything he doesn’t want to. He ended up switching rooms with someone else and not going through with it. He said talking about it with others did help him though. The girl my husband and I were considering a threesome with was also on this trip, but she has gone exclusive with the guy she’s seeing. Also, her behaviour on the trip was less than stellar and has kind of turned us off on the idea, even if she wasn’t exclusive with her boyfriend. While talking with our friend during drinks, my husband casually mentioned being up for a threesome with our straight male friend who we are both very close to. We usually hang out a few times a week and both of us consider him family at this point. I’ll admit that I didn’t really see that coming. My husband brought it up in the context that wanting a threesome’s not even about the “ultimate male fantasy” of being with two women, but more about sharing experiences to form stronger bonds to those he is already very close to. I’ve been thinking about this for the past couple days. On one hand, there’s a strong chance this friend would find the idea laughable and give us a hard pass (understandably). On the other hand, what if he’s up for it? How would this even work? How does one even broach this subject to ask about it in the first place? Should both of us be there, or should just my husband ask him so it’s easier for him to turn it down? A lot of open communication would be involved, to be sure. The idea seems pretty hot to me (which is why I think my sex drive might be coming back), but there’s a lot to unpack here. It’s gonna take some more time for me to fully process it and ask my husband if he was actually serious about it, or maybe I’ll just try to forget about it and we will never speak of it again.
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Aug 28, 2018 08:07
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An honest open conversation might do the trick, if he's closer to your husband it might be easier one on one. If he's keen then you can either go on a three person date and go back to yours for more fun or just start at yours with drinks and make the night all about loving.
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Aug 28, 2018 08:14
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Nessa posted:I finished the antibiotics that I was put on for bacterial vaginosis and I definitely feel a lot better now. Pain and swelling is gone! My sex drive may even be starting to come back. I hope the pain with sex gets better too. Haven’t tried any penetration yet, since I’m on my period right now and we just had a busy weekend out of town with friends. I think you really need to make sure that you're in full working order first.
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Aug 28, 2018 08:38
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Jedit posted:I think you really need to make sure that you're in full working order first. Well, yeah. That kind of goes without saying. I mentioned to my husband previously that any threesome would have to wait until my various bits are sorted out. bowmore posted:An honest open conversation might do the trick, if he's closer to your husband it might be easier one on one. If he's keen then you can either go on a three person date and go back to yours for more fun or just start at yours with drinks and make the night all about loving. I’m not quite sure who he’s closer to. It might be pretty equal, though I’ve gotten a lot closer to this friend over the past couple years after living together for 6 months, arranging weekly dinner plans, and spending more time one on one. I don’t have any other friends I’m closer to, and neither does my husband. We often gush about how great a friend he is to both of us and how much he does for us. He’s currently not interested in dating, so we get a lot of his time and attention. My husband likes to show me off and likes when I wear revealing clothing in front of others. A threesome with this friend might be my husband’s way of showing me off to him. We were hoping to start trying for a baby soon, but I’ve got blocked tubes and have to wait a few months for a referral for surgery. It might be kind of nice to have a threesome like this with a pre-pregnancy body that my husband is really into. As far as location goes, I think his place is probably better than ours. We’ve got a new roommate whose room is directly below our bedroom. Our friend has a whole house all to himself. The closest I’ve come to something like this before was when I was 17 and started dating my best friend’s boyfriend (as a poly thing). We all ended up naked in bed together and my friend and I began pleasuring our boyfriend. I had some jealousy issues and a bit of gay panic when I realized I might accidentally touch my friend’s vagina. I freaked out and ended things and it was awkward the rest of the night. It took a number of years before I came out as bisexual and got over my vagina touching hangups.
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Aug 28, 2018 10:31
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As just a very tiny note, your husband had better be really into your post pregnancy body, too.
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Aug 28, 2018 10:57
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It sounds like in this specific situation, there are a lot of red flags and reasons not to. "Relationship broken, add more people" is a terrible plan, and "sex broken, add more people" is even worse. I wouldn't consider anything -- no threesomes, no kids -- until you have at least six months of positive, non-painful, happy sex and zero pressure from your husband.
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Aug 28, 2018 13:07
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i like nice words
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Nessa posted:A threesome with this friend might be my husband’s way of showing me off to him. Forgive me if this is a stupid question, but do you like this "being shown off"/light exhibitionism thing? Anne is definitely right that you need to redevelop a healthy sex life with your husband first regardless, but it seems weird to me that this potential threesome is mostly just using you as a mutual desire object instead of an actor, especially if it's some kind of "reward" to your friend. I'd recommend you think a lot about what you personally want out of a threesome; if this is it, cool, but don't just agree because your husband is into it.
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Aug 28, 2018 13:23
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I wasn't going to go there right away, but although that's how the threesome is being presented to her, that's beyond unlikely to be the actual goal. Like, Kinsey 0 men do not push for MFMs, let alone MFMs with one specific guy he's extremely close to. I'm bi, you're bi, being bi is great, but going about things sneakily is not good. Imo everyone should also have their poo poo figured out and be in a stable pattern before thinking about bringing babies into it. What freaks me out is that I don't get the sense that you're aware of the risk here. Like yes there's a chance, a very small chance, that you guys are the perfect triad and end up living happily ever after. But if not, this is the kind of thing that can really gently caress up your life. That can lose your best friendship, lose your relationship, and gently caress you up for years, not to mention a kid. This isn't a "could be fun, why not give it a shot" situation; it's hard to imagine higher stakes.
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Aug 28, 2018 14:05
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Anne Whateley posted:I wasn't going to go there right away, but although that's how the threesome is being presented to her, that's beyond unlikely to be the actual goal. Like, Kinsey 0 men do not push for MFMs, let alone MFMs with one specific guy he's extremely close to.
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Aug 28, 2018 14:50
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Anne Whateley posted:It sounds like in this specific situation, there are a lot of red flags and reasons not to. "Relationship broken, add more people" is a terrible plan, and "sex broken, add more people" is even worse. I wouldn't consider anything -- no threesomes, no kids -- until you have at least six months of positive, non-painful, happy sex and zero pressure from your husband. Yeah, that makes sense. Antivehicular posted:Forgive me if this is a stupid question, but do you like this "being shown off"/light exhibitionism thing? Anne is definitely right that you need to redevelop a healthy sex life with your husband first regardless, but it seems weird to me that this potential threesome is mostly just using you as a mutual desire object instead of an actor, especially if it's some kind of "reward" to your friend. I'd recommend you think a lot about what you personally want out of a threesome; if this is it, cool, but don't just agree because your husband is into it. It’s pretty fine with me, usually. I only get annoyed when he starts groping my breasts too much in public. He’ll back off and apologize if he goes too far with it though. As far as what I would want out of a threesome? I think it could be fun to experience what it’s like to be with two men, particularly two men I care about. I’d like to have some new sexual experiences before having a kid, while it’s easier to do and while I’m really happy with my body. I know there will be a lot of changes in store for my body in the future and I’m prepared for that fact. It could be something fun for my husband and I to do together and perhaps we could both grow closer to our friend. I know people say to have a threesome with a stranger, but there is no way in hell I could ever have sex with a stranger, guy or girl. They have to be someone I like and trust. Same goes for my husband. A number of years ago, we met a girl who we were both attracted to and was up for having a threesome with us, but I got cold feet and she ghosted us. She had a host of untreated mental issues though, so it was probably for the best that things didn’t go any further. My husband was super broken up about losing someone he thought had become a close friend though. Anne Whateley posted:I wasn't going to go there right away, but although that's how the threesome is being presented to her, that's beyond unlikely to be the actual goal. Like, Kinsey 0 men do not push for MFMs, let alone MFMs with one specific guy he's extremely close to. Knowing my husband, I’m pretty sure he’s 100% straight and just really secure in his sexuality. He’s kissed another man in the name of a good joke, but I honestly don’t think he’s attracted to men. He’s changed a lot over the years I’ve known him. When we first got together he was completely against the idea of a threesome in any capacity. Several years later, he mellowed out and became okay with the idea of a FFM threesome. Due to my previous relationship being me sharing a boyfriend with my best friend, I had a lot of reservations, due to feelings of jealousy I had known myself to feel in the past. That led to my cold feet with the other girl. I didn’t know if I was ready to see my husband being intimate with another woman yet. I wanted to think I was mature enough to handle it, no longer being a fragile teenager, but I didn’t want to risk it. I also have some regrets from when I was a teenager in a “I could have had so much more fun if I wasn’t such a weenie back then” sort of thing. Part of me doesn’t want to have the same regrets when I’m 70. I am aware of the risks, and I suppose I should be brought down to earth. There’s a lot more to lose than there is to gain, so I think I really should just forget about it. It was exciting to think about for a short while though. Thinking that now that we’re in our 30’s, we could handle something like this and be open and honest with our feelings and insecurities. As much as I’d like to experience some new things and not regret having some fun while I’m young, it’s probably best to not open that Pandora’s box. Give me a few days and I’ll forget all about it. It’s helped to talk about it though.
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Aug 28, 2018 16:52
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I don't think it's immature in any way to not be OK seeing your husband with another woman. Like people have threesomes and I'm sure they have fun doing it but they're not better or more mature, secure, etc than people who don't. It's hot to think about, it's fun to talk about, but not every fantasy has to become reality. I know my relationship is one where neither party is interested in sharing. It is what it is and doesn't mean anything about either us or the couples who are interested in that.
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Aug 28, 2018 17:09
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purple death ray posted:
And some are better off left as fantasies.
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Aug 28, 2018 17:57
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Cat Army
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^^ I've been wondering about that for a while. I'm in a beautiful, happily monogamous relationship; we've begun talking about fantasy threesomes as part of foreplay. It's been great fun, but we're both a tiiiiny bit worried that it might, over time, make us less satisfied with what we've already got. Anyone got any thoughts about this?
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Aug 29, 2018 00:08
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purple death ray posted:I don't think it's immature in any way to not be OK seeing your husband with another woman. Like people have threesomes and I'm sure they have fun doing it but they're not better or more mature, secure, etc than people who don't. That’s true. I suppose it’s just the fact that the jealousy I experienced before was accompanied by me being a naive, immature and sheltered teenager. My Christian upbringing led me to think I was used up and broken if I was ever intimate with more than one person, which made breaking up with my boyfriend the hardest thing I’d ever done. Accidentally catching my boyfriend having sex with my best friend just broke me as a person. It took a while for me to heal from that. It was easy for me to ignore that fact that they were still intimate because they had a lot of relationship problems and rarely ever touched each other, even while we lived in the same house together. I could ignore it and live in my own little bubble until the day that I couldn’t. However, despite all the drama, I’m still friendly with both of them today. They have since broken up themselves, but the friend was a bridesmaid at my wedding, and my ex was my wedding photographer. And yeah, this idea is probably better left a fantasy.
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Aug 29, 2018 01:32
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What's the goon-approved couple's survey for sexual fantasies/fetishes? My wife wants to expand our horizons but doesn't know where to start.
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Aug 29, 2018 20:14
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Geoj posted:What's the goon-approved couple's survey for sexual fantasies/fetishes? My wife wants to expand our horizons but doesn't know where to start. Just talk about it? Visit a toy store to get ideas maybe.
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Aug 29, 2018 22:06
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I was gonna say, honest and open communication is the sexiest thing.
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Aug 29, 2018 22:42
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There's a long list of kinks that couples can go down to be like yes / maybe / never, I think that's what he means. But whatever one I'd google up would be the same as what you'd google up
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Aug 29, 2018 22:49
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Anne Whateley posted:There's a long list of kinks that couples can go down to be like yes / maybe / never, I think that's what he means. But whatever one I'd google up would be the same as what you'd google up Yeah that's what I'm after. I know there was a good one posted ITT a while ago but I did just end up using Google to find one. silvergoose posted:I was gonna say, honest and open communication is the sexiest thing. Already there, she's just getting bored with the same stuff all the time. She grew up in a fairly religious household and never did much experimentation in her formative years, so she's not terribly knowledgeable on what's actually out there. Not so much lack of communication as her knowledge of sex ends just past "vanilla."
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Aug 29, 2018 22:53
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Those surveys where they only suggest kinks if both partners picked them are fascinating to me
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Aug 29, 2018 22:56
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the best thing about those is that sometimes, one of the people checks everything on the list despite not actually being into them in order to see everything the other person checked, which is basically such a large breach of trust that it illuminates everything wrong about the relationship in one fell swoop
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Aug 30, 2018 00:03
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That had honestly never occurred to me, and is awful to contemplate.
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Aug 30, 2018 00:22
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IronicDongz posted:the best thing about those is that sometimes, one of the people checks everything on the list despite not actually being into them in order to see everything the other person checked, which is basically such a large breach of trust that it illuminates everything wrong about the relationship in one fell swoop Ew. That's... pretty gross.
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Aug 30, 2018 01:44
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silvergoose posted:I was gonna say, honest and open communication is the sexiest thing.
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Aug 30, 2018 05:24
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silvergoose posted:I was gonna say, honest and open communication is the sexiest thing. 
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Aug 30, 2018 07:20
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My partner and I did one of those (Mojo Upgrade?) and found out we'd both ticked 'if my partner is interested' for most things. Which is kinda where you want to be with it, but it didn't really teach us anything we didn't already know.
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Aug 30, 2018 13:42
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Just use pornhubs categories
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Aug 31, 2018 11:43
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syntaxfunction posted:Thanks for the suggestions y'all. I am really enthusiastic (my partner told me he was surprised by it the first time) as is and we're really good at communicating likes and dislikes. Also good at duration, saliva and combo-ing. Like I said, it's amazing right now, I guess I was hoping for techniques or something I hadn't thought of? I was with a guy for several years whose favorite way to get off was oral. I have TMJ, so there's only so long I can BJ without a break. While giving him the handy portion of the BJ/hand combo, I'd lick/suck his taint, and it sent him over the moon. Some pressure with your tongue stimulates the prostate, and I'll admit that, being bi, I got excited because it vaguely felt like eating pussy, what with the lapping tongue motions and not worrying about gaggin' on dick. (Helped that he shaved down there, too.) It's a good tip for anyone sexing a guy, actually: don't ignore that taint. Even when we wanted to get off but were tired from work so we'd just load up some porn and mutual masturbate, I'd reach over and lend a hand (yuk yuk) and rub his taint with my thumb, and that's what sent him over the edge. JacquelineDempsey fucked around with this message at 00:26 on Sep 1, 2018 |
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Sep 1, 2018 00:24
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Seconding the taint involvement! It's an easy part to forget but I have also experienced how wild you can drive someone with a bit of pressure there. Is he into having his balls played with? I find this is pretty divisive and some people find it way too much, but if it's something he enjoys then sucking on some balls can be pretty hot. It's also fairly low effort if your mouth is tired from sucking dick.
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Sep 1, 2018 08:53
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Ask first though because some guys have a phobia that if you play with the balls too much you'll get testicular portion and then they have to operate on your balls.
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Sep 1, 2018 12:56
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I mean I've heard of that at least. Hahaha
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Sep 1, 2018 12:57
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Testicular torsion^ Hammock sex is cool y'all, just so you know 
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Sep 1, 2018 13:07
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I got TT from running a track practice with boxers on. Fortunately it’s something that Stanford sports medicine doctors are trained to manipulate back it position. Owe.
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Sep 1, 2018 16:32
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Johnny Truant posted:Testicular torsion^
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Sep 2, 2018 03:12
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LingcodKilla posted:I got TT from running a track practice with boxers on. oooooof. By happenstance, I once dated a dude with one testicle, he had lost the other due to a torsion incident when he was like 11 and then after him a dude that looked like he had three balls due to a skateboarding accident as a kid that grew a huge ball of scar tissue. Essentially, balls are weird.
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Sep 2, 2018 06:42
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I think the antibiotics I took for bacterial vaginosis must have helped me a lot more than I initially thought. I had sex with my husband today and there was no pain and we didn’t even use lube. It was such a weight lifted off my shoulders that I cried afterwards. I cried a whole bunch and was in a state of euphoria for the rest of the day. I spent so long thinking I was broken and worried I would never have pain free sex again. I haven’t had pain free sex without lube in YEARS. It was such a relief and I didn’t expect myself to cry as much as I did. To top it off, our dear friend brought me tiramisu when he came to our party because he remembered that it’s one of my favourite desserts. Tiramisu is totally a foodgasm food for me too, so I’ll be sure to savour it later. He’s such a good friend. I gotta hold onto that. I was actually gonna bring up the painful sex thing with him if I got a chance, but we barely had a minute alone the whole party, as other guests kept coming to quietly hang out and listen to our conversation or sleep on the floor next to us for some reason. I just wanted to finally let another human I know in real life know that I had been struggling with something and finally had a breakthrough. He knows I started seeing an ob/gyn, but I only mentioned fertility concerns instead of the real reason I went to see one in the first place. This whole thing has been such a relief that I still feel like crying and hugging someone.
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Sep 2, 2018 08:12
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