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blarzgh posted:Every time I feel like venting about a Dallas lawyer in this thread, I think to myself, "theres no way its Mudd or Scraps, or someone they knw, right?... Probably not. Better not." Do it anyway. There are 3 or 4 lawyers between the two of us that we like. Actually I think Mudd got along with my mentor ok (the guy who has the same last name as a judge).
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Mar 28, 2017 16:07
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blarzgh posted:Every time I feel like venting about a Dallas lawyer in this thread, I think to myself, "theres no way its Mudd or Scraps, or someone they knw, right?... Probably not. Better not." I'm pretty sure one of your firms lawyers took 6 hours to cross state's expert in a commissioners hearing a few weeks back.
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Mar 28, 2017 16:14
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And if it's neither of them it's probably my ex's father, in which case go ahead anyway.
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Mar 28, 2017 17:03
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Hot Dog Day #91 posted:I'm pretty sure one of your firms lawyers took 6 hours to cross state's expert in a commissioners hearing a few weeks back. Lol, if it was one of ours, I know exactly who.
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Mar 28, 2017 18:01
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CaptainScraps posted:Do it anyway. There are 3 or 4 lawyers between the two of us that we like. Gee, I can't wait to start a little Austin lawyer SA clique to rumble with you guys. Shaaaarks..... Jeeeets....
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Mar 29, 2017 01:48
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ChinaBob posted:Gee, I can't wait to start a little Austin lawyer SA clique to rumble with you guys. I live in Austin but ironically do ALL my lawyering in Dallas.
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Mar 29, 2017 03:14
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Hot Dog Day #91 posted:I live in Austin but ironically do ALL my lawyering in Dallas. Get it together and join the jets
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Mar 29, 2017 06:39
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When are all the Texas lawgoons just gonna get it over with and gently caress?
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Mar 29, 2017 06:56
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So is "Dallas lawyer" a term for a lawyer who's appeared on or is similar to a lawyer on the hit CBS tv-show "Dallas"?
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Mar 29, 2017 08:26
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If any Dallas law goons need a little doc review cash to fill a gap in their otherwise successful lives, I'll have the recruiter immediately staff anyone that makes a non sequitur about whether there are stairs in their house. You'll need to supply your own box of wine though.
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Mar 29, 2017 09:18
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I thought all document review processes were done by AIs these days. Can't wait until I'm literally terminated because of a Terminator. Progress!
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Mar 29, 2017 10:43
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Nice piece of fish posted:So is "Dallas lawyer" a term for a lawyer who's appeared on or is similar to a lawyer on the hit CBS tv-show "Dallas"? No, its a term used by lawyers who practice in every county around Dallas County that means "unnecessarily aggressive, difficult, borderline unethical, expensive, douchey and drunk." Its really funny when you're in bum-gently caress nowhere, and the Judge goes, "Oh, you're a Dallas lawyer." And you know the dude is about to get home-towned like a motherfucker.
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Mar 29, 2017 14:27
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blarzgh posted:No, its a term used by lawyers who practice in every county around Dallas County that means "unnecessarily aggressive, difficult, borderline unethical, expensive, douchey and drunk." Now I don't know how you do things up in Dallas, but out here in the country we do things a little bit different.
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Mar 29, 2017 14:36
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blarzgh posted:No, its a term used by lawyers who practice in every county around Dallas County that means "unnecessarily aggressive, difficult, borderline unethical, expensive, douchey and drunk." This is some great poo poo, I had no idea (though I probably should have guessed) that this is a thing in the US too. Won a case against a supreme-court attourney from a big-law pretty much on this. Well, not really, but it surely didn't hurt.
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Mar 29, 2017 14:51
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Mr. Nice! posted:Now I don't know how you do things up in Dallas, but out here in the country we do things a little bit different. These words have literally been spoken thousands of times.
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Mar 29, 2017 15:25
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blarzgh posted:These words have literally been spoken thousands of times. Almost certainly an understatement. You can also replace "Dallas" with every other largish city and still be true.
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Mar 29, 2017 15:32
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Now imagine you're a state's attorney from the big, notably liberal, "weird" state capital. You've just rolled into a one room courthouse in a rural county of 500 people, wearing a suit without boots. And you tell the judge you're there to take their land. And the judge and his best friend, and the only other lawyer in the county, just look at you.
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Mar 29, 2017 15:53
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blarzgh posted:No, its a term used by lawyers who practice in every county around Dallas County that means "unnecessarily aggressive, difficult, borderline unethical, expensive, douchey and drunk." oh hey, I am literally dealing with a lawyer from a county around Dallas that fits that exact description maybe not the drunk, haven't been able to tell yet
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Mar 29, 2017 16:11
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Hot Dog Day #91 posted:Now imagine you're a state's attorney from the big, notably liberal, "weird" state capital. You've just rolled into a one room courthouse in a rural county of 500 people, wearing a suit without boots. And you tell the judge you're there to take their land. "And then the mommy litigator and the daddy litigator make a lot of weird noises, and that's how appeals are born."
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Mar 29, 2017 16:15
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Nice piece of fish posted:"And then the mommy litigator and the daddy litigator make a lot of weird noises, and that's how appeals are born." Haha, first he has to go through a "panel" of "experts" who were "appointed."
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Mar 29, 2017 16:18
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So we're all getting a drink when I'm back in the ATX from New York on vacation, yes? Can regale y'all with tales of fund formations... And for those of you who are thinking "No, that's a scene from My Cousin Vinny, that doesn't really happen," it does.
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Mar 29, 2017 16:39
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Hot Dog Day #91 posted:Now imagine you're a state's attorney from the big, notably liberal, "weird" state capital. You've just rolled into a one room courthouse in a rural county of 500 people, wearing a suit without boots. And you tell the judge you're there to take their land. You rarely have the opportunity to home town the gently caress out of people as a PD, byt every once in a while, a DAG from LA or San Diego would show up to do a case due to either a DA conflict or something, and at that moment, you knew to file all the motions because you had a chance at winning. I had a DAG accuse me of making up a witness once. Dude was in the courtroom at the time and was like "Uhm, I exist?" I don't think I lost one motion in that case ever again. Edit: how are you not wearing boots to everything though? Seems like a rookie mistake.
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Mar 29, 2017 16:55
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A texas lawyer that isn't wearing boots is just wearing the wrong clothes.
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Mar 29, 2017 17:06
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Discendo Vox fucked around with this message at 03:37 on Jul 13, 2021 |
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Mar 29, 2017 17:21
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Discendo Vox posted:Do you also wear ten gallon hats and bola ties? Bolo ties are acceptable texas business attire and cowboy hats are worn often. The secret to success in Texas is to be the biggest Texan you can, and that usually means shitkicker in a suit.
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Mar 29, 2017 17:38
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JohnCompany posted:So we're all getting a drink when I'm back in the ATX from New York on vacation, yes? Can regale y'all with tales of fund formations... I'm flying to new York Monday for vacation with my wife. First trip since our 3 year old was born.
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Mar 29, 2017 18:06
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Can you get a travel reembursement for riding a horse to court in Texas? California allows private airplane mileage, so I'd imagine Texas has something.
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Mar 29, 2017 18:42
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Yankees don't believe you're from Texas if you don't have a Texas drawl and a giant truck. It does help to call them Yankees though. And reference your disappointment in the outcome of the War of Northern Aggression.
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Mar 29, 2017 19:03
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RVT posted:Yankees don't believe you're from Texas if you don't have a Texas drawl and a giant truck. These things are true. Half of my family is from New York.
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Mar 29, 2017 19:13
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Discendo Vox fucked around with this message at 03:37 on Jul 13, 2021 |
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Mar 29, 2017 19:29
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Discendo Vox posted:I was going to make a Perry joke here, but then I remembered your beloved leader is qualified only by his BS.  And hot dog, hit me up if you want to grab lunch or a beer or such, though you're allowed to prefer to spend time with the wife and slash or child. . Jean-Paul Shartre fucked around with this message at 16:32 on Mar 30, 2017 |
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Mar 29, 2017 19:39
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RVT posted:Yankees don't believe you're from Texas if you don't have a Texas drawl and a giant truck.
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Mar 29, 2017 19:40
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nm posted:I don't believe you're from Texas unless you have regressive social views. What If you move to Texas and adopt regressive social views
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Mar 29, 2017 19:59
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EwokEntourage posted:What If you move to Texas and adopt regressive social views Then you fake it like Hank Hill (from New York city) did.
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Mar 29, 2017 20:02
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Discendo Vox fucked around with this message at 03:37 on Jul 13, 2021 |
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Mar 29, 2017 20:54
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You should delete it now. I appreciate the offer, but Im not sure my wife would enjoy internet stranger lunch on our vacation. Besides my plan is to spend my days in the Met and nights at the theater.
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Mar 29, 2017 21:45
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*60 year old Deputy looks at lawyers walking up to the obviously non-functional metal detector and x-ray machine* "Heh. Where you boys come from?" Phil Moscowitz fucked around with this message at 01:09 on Mar 30, 2017 |
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Mar 30, 2017 01:06
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Lawyers from New Orleans (pop. 389,000) make appearances in 35th Judicial District Court for St. Bernard Parish, literally 5 minutes from contiguous border with New Orleans). Judge, scratching a week's beard stubble: "Big city lawyers gracing my courtroom!"
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Mar 30, 2017 01:15
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Lawyer chats with local lawyers before docket call. Local lawyer: "New Orleans huh? What you got today?" NOLAwyer: "Motion to dismiss." "You plaintiff or...?" "Defendant." Laughter. "Yeah you gonna lose." NOLAwyer: *argues unassailable dismissal supported by directly on point LA Supreme Court law; loses; proceeds downstairs to eat a meat pie with plaintiff counsel and settle the case for $1,500*
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Mar 30, 2017 01:21
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Phil Moscowitz posted:*60 year old Deputy looks at lawyers walking up to the obviously non-functional metal detector and x-ray machine* My first courthouse I regularly went to didn't even have a metal detector, much less a non-functional one. This was criminal law too.
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Mar 30, 2017 01:24
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