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Saipan didn’t have a police academy until 2015. Before then, you showed up on day one with your high school diploma or equivalent, you got handed a badge and a gun, and they told you to go catch some bad guys. And by that they meant hang out at the station, waiting to get called, because the police don’t patrol. They don’t want to spend the gas money. When a former governor got indicted on corruption charges, the CNMI police provided him an escort to the airport and fought off process servers until he got on his plane to the Philippines.
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May 3, 2017 02:26
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nm posted:Jesus loving christ new orleans ulmont posted:Par for the course in Orleans Parish. Everything I read about New Orleans makes me glad I decided not to work there. Jesus.
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May 3, 2017 03:06
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Hot Dog Day #91 posted:Im post op, and my doctor advised me not to do any legal work while recovering. MtF? Congrats dude and/or lady. Also we charged a public defender once with molesting fish. See 5 aac 75.060. He was fishing with treble hooks and bait in a double hook no bait stream. We saved literally up to two salmon from being poached. And we'd do it again, to anyone using unlawful means to molest fish.
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May 3, 2017 03:42
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SlothBear posted:Everything I read about New Orleans makes me glad I decided not to work there. Jesus. Everything about the city that isn't the government or the tourists or the weather is great though!
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May 3, 2017 03:56
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BigHead posted:MtF? Congrats dude and/or lady. Goddamn that was a good burn. Knee surgery though, replacing a worn out ligament. Hurts more than I thought it would.
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May 3, 2017 07:05
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Hot Dog Day #91 posted:Goddamn that was a good burn. I've had this poo poo done more than once. Do the rehab and then keep doing the rehab. Take up stretching or yoga, dead serious, especially if you're tall. Sitting in a car, airplane, or even a desk sucks with a repaired knee
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May 3, 2017 07:25
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ulmont posted:Everything about the city that isn't the government or the tourists or the weather is great though! Oh, absolutely, wonderful place to go for just the right amount of time that you never need to count on the local government for anything.
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May 3, 2017 07:33
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Man, I am getting the poo poo beaten out of me in court lately. Sure, I've pulled some crap judges and had pretty crap cases, but it still kind of sticks in my craw since I'm very much a sore loser. What worries me is that I can't see what I'm doing wrong (other than, you know, super-cautiously never going to court on anything remotely risky). Client is happy with my performance but you know, obviously doesn't want to pay when they lose - to which I say gently caress you pay me - I'm not coming off any worse than my opponents, my arguments have legal merit... Maybe I should get clients who are better at convincing a judge that they aren't full of poo poo. I need a nice cushy easy government job.
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May 3, 2017 10:28
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EwokEntourage posted:I've had this poo poo done more than once. Do the rehab and then keep doing the rehab. Take up stretching or yoga, dead serious, especially if you're tall. Sitting in a car, airplane, or even a desk sucks with a repaired knee Yeah I've got my first rehab in Thursday. I was doing yoga before to get ready. They also did micro fracture on the patella. My nerve blocker just wore out too so this poo poo really sucks at 5am. But - if it means I can bike again it'll be worth it.
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May 3, 2017 11:25
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I'm trying a custody case today. My client is human garbage and drove drunk with the kids, gets nasty with Mom, still drinks, and is a hardcore alcoholic. We had him doing unsupervised visits when he was blowing with a breathalyzer and he loving failed it at 8 AM on a Sunday so his visitation was supposed to be supervised. He never completed the supervision paperwork so hasn't seen his kids for 7 months. We cut a deal outside of court on almost everything. He gets to see the kids twice a month, can't drive with them, and they meet at a McDonald's. But they can't decide which loving McDonald's to meet at. She wants one closer to her house, he wants one halfway. So we go in and we have to loving try "Which McDonald's are we going to do the visitation at." The Judge hears all this bullshit about his drinking problems and his attacking the wife and how she's awful and beats the kids And says "Sir, I'm awarding you visitation every other weekend at the midpoint McDonald's. Mom will supervise." Mom jumps up and says "I'm not supervising him." The judge says, "Fine. You can do the facility in Plano. Both of you will pay half the cost of it ($55/hr)" And the dude walks outside and starts fistpumping I go "Why are you happy, she totally hosed you with supervised visitation." And he says "That bitch hates to drive."
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May 3, 2017 18:07
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CaptainScraps posted:I'm trying a custody case today. My client is human garbage and drove drunk with the kids, gets nasty with Mom, still drinks, and is a hardcore alcoholic. We had him doing unsupervised visits when he was blowing with a breathalyzer and he loving failed it at 8 AM on a Sunday so his visitation was supposed to be supervised. He never completed the supervision paperwork so hasn't seen his kids for 7 months. Pretty sure about 90% of my family law business is fueled on nothing but spite.
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May 3, 2017 19:17
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GamingHyena posted:Pretty sure about 90% of my family law business is fueled on nothing but spite. Look at mr optimist over here.
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May 3, 2017 19:52
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Scraps, how does that guy have money for you? And were you in McKinney today?
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May 3, 2017 22:05
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Hot Dog Day #91 posted:Scraps, how does that guy have money for you? Eh he had some. And nope!
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May 3, 2017 22:21
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Nice piece of fish posted:I need a nice cushy easy government job. I'm not fit to sit for the bar but the State still lets me rule over procedural law hearings. 
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May 3, 2017 23:05
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GamingHyena posted:Pretty sure about 90% of all litigation, everywhere is fueled on nothing but spite. fixed edit: i mean who doesn't live for the thrill of quoting opposing counsel's gently caress-up and throwing in a big ol' [sic] afterward to demonstrate to the zero-to-two people who skim your pleading how terrible an attorney (and therefore person) he or she is? Unamuno fucked around with this message at 02:36 on May 4, 2017 |
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May 4, 2017 02:23
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Day 3 of a week long "rocket docket" jury trial. Animosity between opposing attorneys (about 6 on each side) has given way to an esprit de corps. We all desperately want sleep.
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May 4, 2017 03:05
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Roger_Mudd posted:Day 3 of a week long "rocket docket" jury trial. Project falcon?
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May 4, 2017 03:18
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CaptainScraps posted:Project falcon? Yes sir. Might be really big. All up to 8 jurors.
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May 4, 2017 03:20
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Roger_Mudd posted:Yes sir. Might be really big. All up to 8 jurors. Good luck homey
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May 4, 2017 03:36
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Roger_Mudd posted:Day 3 of a week long "rocket docket" jury trial. I'm up prepping closing arguments on a jury trial that started February 6. I don't even know what clients my firm is representing; what files we have; what's going on at all. When it started it was the dead of winter, now everyone is walking around in t-shirts. I haven't worn a suit and tie in months; having worn the same waistcoat and gown since the start. My shoes are falling apart. I've sat in the exact same chair at the exact same times throughout. Apparently the Leafs made the playoffs but the Blue Jays are the worst team in the league. Apparently Donald J Trump is still president and the US is now a great ally of dictators. This must be what a prison stint is like
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May 4, 2017 05:06
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What's the subject of the case?
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May 4, 2017 05:23
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First-degree murder, one body, four accused.
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May 4, 2017 05:46
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CmdrSmirnoff posted:First-degree murder, one body, four accused. That seems like an exceptionally long trial. You're Canadian right? Do you use juries for first degree?
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May 4, 2017 06:40
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Found out yesterday that my land registration case for tomorrow morning has a bit of a criminal aspect to it, and so I'm setting a trap. Going to try to get one of the petitioners to testify and have the crim division use that testimony later against him. But it's a goddamn tightrope - if the judge rules immediately on the land registration proceedings, the criminal case disappears. If my opponents catch wind that I'm setting them up for a criminal case and withdraw their petition, the criminal case disappears. If I play it too loose and don't hit hard enough on the point that they're fraudulently trying to register gov land as their own, I could lose the land registration case, which would also likely torpedo the criminal case. Also, that particular petitioner could no-show and send a company representative instead, which would probably lead to me winning the registration but not getting any valuable info on the criminal case. Still prosecutable if the judge doesn't rule right away, but still. Complicating matters - some of the critical documents are from 1902 and are in Spanish. And the judge might be related to the other side's attorney. And there is no possible way I should lose this, and that's what worries me the most. And I've been on a diet so my brain is not cooperating. Also I haven't done a legit trial in years and can't remember poo poo about evidence, I'll have the important rules next to me on a page with highlights on it. I'll post a trip report afterwards, but wish me luck.
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May 4, 2017 07:34
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CmdrSmirnoff posted:I'm up prepping closing arguments on a jury trial that started February 6. I don't even know what clients my firm is representing; what files we have; what's going on at all. When it started it was the dead of winter, now everyone is walking around in t-shirts. I haven't worn a suit and tie in months; having worn the same waistcoat and gown since the start. My shoes are falling apart. I've sat in the exact same chair at the exact same times throughout. Apparently the Leafs made the playoffs but the Blue Jays are the worst team in the league. Apparently Donald J Trump is still president and the US is now a great ally of dictators. Even though I know what you mean I am imagining you naked except gown, coat and wig. Unless you guys don't wear wigs like we sometimes don't.
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May 4, 2017 08:10
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No wigs e: actually, I think we're not even allowed to wear wigs, anymore .
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May 4, 2017 08:13
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Yeah ours are state by state and then if you ARE allowed its judge by judge even then.
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May 4, 2017 08:44
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Abugadu posted:I'll post a trip report afterwards, but wish me luck. May the winds of bullshit be with you, my friend. Good luck, and please yes do post about that after. Nevvy Z posted:I'm not fit to sit for the bar but the State still lets me rule over procedural law hearings. Oh god. Do you even have to wear a tie?
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May 4, 2017 09:43
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General question for American lawyers here : should you guys get rid of trial by jury? Most of the developed world sort of gave up on that already.
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May 4, 2017 10:50
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Non Serviam posted:General question for American lawyers here : should you guys get rid of trial by jury? Most of the developed world sort of gave up on that already. Not an american lawyer, but even I know that'd take a constitutional amendment (Sixth amendment, right?). Pretty unlikely. But yes, jury is bad and not good.
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May 4, 2017 11:19
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Nice piece of fish posted:May the winds of bullshit be with you, my friend. Good luck, and please yes do post about that after. Only when they are physically in the room with me. Which has happened twice ever. Cushy government jobs for all! https://www.governmentjobs.com/careers/ohio/jobs/1731364/human-services-hearing-officer-1
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May 4, 2017 13:17
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Non Serviam posted:General question for American lawyers here : should you guys get rid of trial by jury? Most of the developed world sort of gave up on that already. it's not like the judges are any less of idiots, they're just more predictable. Jury trials probably make lawyers more money in the aggregate so they should stay
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May 4, 2017 13:54
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Nevvy Z posted:Only when they are physically in the room with me. Which has happened twice ever. Cushy government jobs for all! Oh wow, that sounds like a pretty nice State of Ohio Human Services Hearing Officer 1 posted:Salary  uuuuhhhh you know actually my job isn't really all that bad. Joking, but seriously I'd expect to go down in pay about that much yearly salary from my current gig to a government job. Guess you can't have your cake and eat it too, though.
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May 4, 2017 14:11
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So my Biglaw summer associate job starts in a few weeks any tips, particularly for someone in their early 30s with work experience? Also what do you actually do? Everyone just says lunch and events but I haven't heard much as far as what you're actually doing during the day. Plan is to enjoy all the freebies while I can and try to build relationships with some associates and 1-2 partners if possible. I'd also like to try to get a sense of the actual quality of life for an associate. This place has a reputation that it's good for Biglaw but it's all relative obviously.
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May 4, 2017 14:50
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Fuzzie Dunlop posted:So my Biglaw summer associate job starts in a few weeks any tips, particularly for someone in their early 30s with work experience? Also what do you actually do? Everyone just says lunch and events but I haven't heard much as far as what you're actually doing during the day. Same thing as law school. Be a summer associate. Don't be that irritating old gently caress who constantly talks about being "experienced in life and having seen things." We had a few of those in law school and one of them in my summer associate class, and everyone wanted to beat them to death (including the law firm partners).
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May 4, 2017 15:01
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Fuzzie Dunlop posted:So my Biglaw summer associate job starts in a few weeks any tips, particularly for someone in their early 30s with work experience? Also what do you actually do? Everyone just says lunch and events but I haven't heard much as far as what you're actually doing during the day. All these rich bastards will have one thing they love to talk about, whether it's wine or golf or their cars or their kids. Talk to them about those things. They also like to talk about how rich they are.
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May 4, 2017 15:33
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Fuzzie Dunlop posted:So my Biglaw summer associate job starts in a few weeks any tips, particularly for someone in their early 30s with work experience? Also what do you actually do? Everyone just says lunch and events but I haven't heard much as far as what you're actually doing during the day. Partners come up with real work assignments that can be done by summer associates during the summer (under heavy supervision of course), with greater or lesser amounts of success (some of these may be a bit make-work; summers are great for a fifty-state survey chart or updating a summary of legal area X). You'll do those during the day.
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May 4, 2017 15:47
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Nice piece of fish posted:Joking, but seriously I'd expect to go down in pay about that much yearly salary from my current gig to a government job. Guess you can't have your cake and eat it too, though. Oh, you have one of those mythical "well paying lawyer jobs" I keep hearing about! There are also guaranteed yearly increases of about 5%. It caps out at $34.31 This is on top of benefits, PTO (80 sick, 80 vacation, 32 personal hours each year), overtime/comptime (your choice of which when offered), and potential to telecommute with a monthly reimbursement of $50 for your internet. It won't get you rich but it's a pretty great deal for the work.
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May 4, 2017 15:49
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Day-to-day will likely be makework. Stuff someone wants done but it's hard to justify to the client to get it paid. For instance, I had a summer build a set of form filings for procedural crap (stipulated extensions, stuff like that) because the old forms our secretaries were using hadn't changed when the local rules changed. It's useful to have, but I can't bill it to a client. Ideally this work will be more substantive. When I was a summer I drafted memos to the partners about various legal issues in their cases, or drafted chunks of MSJ arguments. It's very very heavily supervised and I was not upset when the cases I found made it into the final brief but none of my words did (because I didn't know how to write). I also rewrote the articles and bylaws for a nonprofit one of the partners was on the board for. I doubt they ever adopted them because they were disorganized, but I learned a bunch about that stuff even if it took me way too long to do. If your firm is super busy you will get more real work. As for how to perform? Be liked, make friends with everyone, figure out who the true decision makers are so you can be their friend, but don't do any of this in the smarmy "Im getting to know you because you are useful to me" sense, or they'll treat you like that rear end in a top hat the first day of 1L year who is clearly "networking." Do reasonably good work, don't worry if you think it takes you forever to do something so long as you hit the internal deadline for it or at least talk to folks in advance of the deadline, etc.
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May 4, 2017 15:58
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