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Blorange
Jan 31, 2007

A wizard did it

Tony Montana posted:

So my story is basically the complete opposite to yours, Sundae, except we just play with vast stacks of money and hence if we get it a bit wrong it's ok.

You might want to throw a DISTINCT in that query, or you're going to return the number of logins instead of the number of different people actually using the system. How do you know that everyone else who did it 'by hand' wasn't just running the same query you are and lying about the effort? It wouldn't be the first time.

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Tony Montana
Aug 6, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Heh, dude I'm putting it in simple terms to talk to non-IT people. That's not actually the SQL (and LDAP version of SQL) that I used.

They were doing it by hand (going into various consoles and running little queries and copying it down and putting it in a spreadsheet) because I watched them. First thing I did was ask 'show me how you do it now' and had to struggle to stay professional and not openly laugh at them.

Getting a bit technical in here, because you seem interested, your average guy will know how to use DSGET for AD and pull out reams of data. How much they trim and tweak their queries to get good data directly out will often be an indicator of their ability in that space, but most will still poo poo it out to a csv format and play in Excel with it for an hour to remove stuff they don't want and format it so it doesn't make the business staff cry. The trick here was automating the whole thing, which is learning some powershell or vba so you can use Excel's exposed APIs and again PS or vba to interacted directly with AD. You want the script to pull from AD, exactly what you need, then set up the Excel workbook, put all the data in, do some more derived operations and a number of queries and reports using multiple workbook pages and then some more operations to make an 'index' page at the front summarizing your important metrics. You're basically writing the reporting part of software like Quest's Spotlight on AD in script, but because you do it all from scratch any requirement either your firm or the client comes up with you can roll with and quickly. You're not a button pushing sysadmin that says 'oh, my app doesn't make a report like that.. sorry'. The result if you work for the right people is they realize the value, the saving your making them in buying AD reporting software and you get sent to the other accounts to show em how.

You'd assume someone like HP is already doing this? Well.. that's another corporate thing. Someone like HP is so huge that what Enterprise Services is doing in the US or Europe isn't necessarily happening in Australia. We all know the knowledge sharing efforts and standardization, but the reality is each major sector ends up doing poo poo their own way, to a degree. So I don't doubt my American or European colleagues were already using these methods, but the trick was I was the first to introduce it to my neck of the woods.

Pleads
Jun 9, 2005

pew pew pew


Xovaan posted:

I'm north of San Diego in Southern California. Clothed or unclothed cabana boy?

Given the pay rates I've experienced in this industry, unclothed unless you bring your own :(

Solkanar512
Dec 28, 2006

by the sex ghost

Xovaan posted:

This was followed by informing me that she's gonna be micromanaging me from now on, but is, as a person, completely incompetent and can't even use Dayforce, Excel, or math in general. Anything I try to explain to her falls flat because she hasn't taken past high school algebra and I'm guessing has never taken a statistics class.

The kicker is hearing this person tell me "I just want to make sure our company gets the most bang for the buck for having you here." I make minimum wage, about 50% less than a normal paid intern in this exact position, in the bottom 2.5th percentile of paid market research analysts in the entire country let alone this area. Let's not even mention that I switched us from two bad programs to a single good one and saved us double what I make every month in wages, making me more than debt-neutral.

Ok, a few things are confusing me here. First off, why can't you tell her to buzz off when she tries to manage you? You report to the COO. If some shithead HR drone tried that with me I'd tell them to gently caress off.

Furthermore, I think you need to directly challenge this "I want to make sure the company is getting the most bang for their buck" poo poo in front of some other managers. Specifically ask how it is you're wasting money, how her attention is going to save the company money and what metrics she's going to use to prove her claims. Ask her how these measurements are tied back in to standard company policy and why they need to apply to you and not any other employee. It seems to me that if everyone hates her, and everyone loves your work, that you'd be just fine directly challenging this sort of bullshit.

And seriously, you report to the COO, so why the gently caress are you doing what she tells you? "Don't talk to the girl at the front desk"?! Unless you're sexually harassing her, who the gently caress cares. If she claims that "people are complaining", ask for it to be documented or it isn't real.

Also, TALK TO YOUR COO BOSS! Ask her or him, "is this HR drone supposed to be spending all of her time micromanaging my work?" and "everyone seems to find my work really useful, and she's told me to stop doing it, does that make sense to you?" and "she's threatened to fire me, are you unhappy with my work here at this company?" I know you don't want to go to your boss for petty poo poo, but she's actively preventing you from doing your job. If your boss is sane, this will raise a ton of red flags and your boss with make it stop.

Tony Montana
Aug 6, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
This dude is a intern, don't forget.

He's not a real employee. Challenging is often hard enough and not worth doing (politics) even when you're superior to a coworker in 'rank'.

Solkanar512
Dec 28, 2006

by the sex ghost

Tony Montana posted:

This dude is a intern, don't forget.

He's not a real employee. Challenging is often hard enough and not worth doing (politics) even when you're superior to a coworker in 'rank'.

I understand that, but wouldn't you be pissed off if your intern was being micromanaged by some shithead HR drone behind your back? Maybe some of that post is a bit over the top, but at least contact the boss and give a heads up.

Tony Montana
Aug 6, 2005

by FactsAreUseless

Solkanar512 posted:

I understand that, but wouldn't you be pissed off if your intern was being micromanaged by some shithead HR drone behind your back? Maybe some of that post is a bit over the top, but at least contact the boss and give a heads up.

Yeah ok, but be chill about it and don't expect anything to come of it. Noone cares. I've ending up looking the dick when I'm pointing out massive gaping holes and mistakes in the way we are doing things, poo poo actually costing us money and if the client found out they'd crucify us. What an intern gets up to and whether he has a good day with HR wouldn't even rate a conversation with most of my managers.

I don't mean to talk down to the dude, you just gotta understand the reality. We are all stressed and have serious poo poo going on, that's how the corp loads us up when it finds it can trust us, few have the spare bandwidth to deal with something like that.

defectivemonkey
Jun 5, 2012

Tony Montana posted:

This dude is a intern, don't forget.

He's not a real employee. Challenging is often hard enough and not worth doing (politics) even when you're superior to a coworker in 'rank'.

To me, this makes it more okay. He's out in 2 weeks, he already has good recommendations. Call this woman out on her BS if she brings anything up again. In the meantime, Solknar is right about the COO.

Also here's hoping you don't need to leave CA to find something good, but if you end up in DC we can just switch houses :)

Solkanar512
Dec 28, 2006

by the sex ghost

Tony Montana posted:

Yeah ok, but be chill about it and don't expect anything to come of it. Noone cares. I've ending up looking the dick when I'm pointing out massive gaping holes and mistakes in the way we are doing things, poo poo actually costing us money and if the client found out they'd crucify us. What an intern gets up to and whether he has a good day with HR wouldn't even rate a conversation with most of my managers.

I don't mean to talk down to the dude, you just gotta understand the reality. We are all stressed and have serious poo poo going on, that's how the corp loads us up when it finds it can trust us, few have the spare bandwidth to deal with something like that.

It's not about "having a good day with HR", it's about "HR is telling me not to do the work that you (the boss) and everyone else was really happy with and found useful". As in, "HR is specifically telling me not to do the thing you wanted me to, are you cool with that". Trust me, I'm pretty sure that most bosses out there care if someone is directly undermining their authority and countermanding their instructions. Given the load of work that everyone receives, making sure that your employees are getting things done is even more important.

ladyweapon
Nov 6, 2010

It reads all over his face,
like he's an Italian.

Solkanar512 posted:

As in, "HR is specifically telling me not to do the thing you wanted me to, are you cool with that". Trust me, I'm pretty sure that most bosses out there care if someone is directly undermining their authority and countermanding their instructions.
His boss didn't tell him to do anything.

Xovaan posted:

I work as an intern doing market research. Work can be sporadic because the company is pretty tribal and mismanaged. I don't really have a boss because mine-- the COO-- is out of the office and doing his own thing a bunch, so I find projects to do.
There may be actual reasons HR doesn't want an intern doing random projects he/she feels like taking on that aren't a part of their job. His coworkers may love him, but his coworkers don't decide if he keeps his internship.

sbaldrick
Jul 19, 2006
Driven by Hate

HipGnosis posted:

It makes me so sad when my firends say they're coming out but bringing their "work friends" along. I wish I had work friends :smith:

I wish I could make work friends, everyone here is about 20 years older then me. It makes it hard.

peter banana
Sep 2, 2008

Feminism is a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.

sbaldrick posted:

I wish I could make work friends, everyone here is about 20 years older then me. It makes it hard.

same. That's the main obstruction.

Golden Bee
Dec 24, 2009

I came here to chew bubblegum and quote 'They Live', and I'm... at an impasse.
I have it harder than you guys - I work from home.

defectivemonkey
Jun 5, 2012

Golden Bee posted:

I have it harder than you guys - I work from home.

I'm working from home today. Just baked the whole office cookies, so everyone here likes me.

eta: market research HR mess is a good reminder of how incorrectly corporations handle interns. My org has started doing it, too. They're people you can bring in to mold, test out, and potentially grow within the company. If you're trying to get cheap labor, hire some long-term people at minimum wage. If you're trying to get cheap skilled labor, you should be offering them some opportunity to take on new projects and grow.

defectivemonkey fucked around with this message at 22:15 on Feb 5, 2014

Ottoman
Apr 30, 2004

Hideki! You have so many side dishes. Can Chii be your main course?

sbaldrick posted:

I wish I could make work friends, everyone here is about 20 years older then me. It makes it hard.

Might just be me, but I tend to get along better with people who are much older than I am. Then again I have absolutely no idea about popular culture, am a geek, and seldom get to work with people my age anyway.

Also for the intern, I have found this stance useful when random people are giving me orders: "I understand your concern. However I have not received a directive from my supervisor. Please talk to him about this/Please let me confirm it with him first." DONE. She will either be forced to acknowledge that you do not report to her directly, or she will be forced to say "Hey Mr. COO, I don't think Xovaan should be talking to the receptionist." "Why the gently caress not?" "Uh, reasons!" "gently caress off lady." I mean that's best case scenario I suppose. On the other hand if your supervisor gets mad, tell him that you are not sure from whom you are permitted to take directives. You can say something much simpler, too, like "I have to run that past COO first" and it's done, the boundary is erected until your direct supervisor can chime in.

If you answer to everybody just because you're an intern with no clout, your life will become unbearable. When in doubt, run everything past your boss until the pecking order is clear, especially if your boss is not around a lot.

ibntumart
Mar 18, 2007

Good, bad. I'm the one with the power of Shu, Heru, Amon, Zehuti, Aton, and Mehen.
College Slice

Ottoman posted:

Also for the intern, I have found this stance useful when random people are giving me orders: "I understand your concern. However I have not received a directive from my supervisor. Please talk to him about this/Please let me confirm it with him first." DONE. She will either be forced to acknowledge that you do not report to her directly, or she will be forced to say "Hey Mr. COO, I don't think Xovaan should be talking to the receptionist." "Why the gently caress not?" "Uh, reasons!" "gently caress off lady."

That may put the ball in her court, but it doesn't force her to do anything. She could just as easily dress Xovaan down, insist he obey her directions, and tell his supervisor he's been insubordinate or causing friction with her/other people's departments. Whether the supervisor gives a poo poo about her complaint is another matter, of course, but even if he thinks the HR director is an idiot, how likely is he to go on the offensive against her? She's apparently politically astute enough to have convinced enough important people that her interfering with the various departments is a valuable asset to the company. Xovaan's supervisor probably has nothing to gain from openly challenging her or ruffling her feathers.

I mean, I hope I'm wrong and that Xovaan's supervisor would be able to help him out, but he really shouldn't expect he can straight-up tell HR to clear any instructions through his supervisor first and expect there to be no repercussions.

corkskroo
Sep 10, 2004

Higgy posted:

On the topic of "Higgy's Model", someone at some point said "this will determine all of our planning" and now everyone just assumes it does despite the long list of assumptions and caveats I've tried to make clear since it's inception.

I just switched roles but in my previous role I created a few things like this, sort of planning/projection tools using maths and Excel, but with massive piles of caveats and warnings that the values were semi-arbitrary and needed to be validated (I was creating an approach to a tool, not the final tool itself) but of course as soon as people see that something WORKS in the sense that you put numbers in here and other numbers come out there, everyone is like "This is brilliant, let's start using it immediately." It's pretty hilarious.

Sundae
Dec 1, 2005

TonyMontana posted:

I guess by 'regulated field' you're referring to legislation around reporting because you're in pharma, Sundae?

As in FDA audits, Good Manufacturing Practices / Laboratory Practices / Documentation, CFRs, ICH guidelines etc. We also distribute to European markets, so we get audited by the MHRA, EMA, and Turkish Ministry of Health fairly regularly. Edit: Canada, too, but they're almost stereotypically laid-back about all this stuff.

My company's practice now that they're under consent decree is to take any tiny observation from any agency inspector anywhere and turn it into a massively overdone quality program that doesn't actually work. Managing the impossible mess of compliance systems takes up a good 90% of my time at work now. My average project reports into somewhere between 1-3 review boards and will require 15-25 approvers to sign off at each stage gate.

Nothing ever gets done here.

Shrieking Muppet
Jul 16, 2006

Sundae posted:


My company's practice now that they're under consent decree is to take any tiny observation from any agency inspector anywhere and turn it into a massively overdone quality program that doesn't actually work.


Nice to know that this is standard practice across the GMP field. Every time we get a audit especially customer ones I sigh because I know that some new rule is going to be made. And customer auditors are usually brain dead so we get hit with what ever they think up on the spot.

Shrieking Muppet
Jul 16, 2006
*Double Post*

Shrieking Muppet fucked around with this message at 01:57 on Feb 7, 2014

Knot My President!
Jan 10, 2005
Probation
Can't post for 12 minutes!

ibntumart posted:

That may put the ball in her court, but it doesn't force her to do anything. She could just as easily dress Xovaan down, insist he obey her directions, and tell his supervisor he's been insubordinate or causing friction with her/other people's departments. Whether the supervisor gives a poo poo about her complaint is another matter, of course, but even if he thinks the HR director is an idiot, how likely is he to go on the offensive against her? She's apparently politically astute enough to have convinced enough important people that her interfering with the various departments is a valuable asset to the company. Xovaan's supervisor probably has nothing to gain from openly challenging her or ruffling her feathers.

I mean, I hope I'm wrong and that Xovaan's supervisor would be able to help him out, but he really shouldn't expect he can straight-up tell HR to clear any instructions through his supervisor first and expect there to be no repercussions.

It's complicated in the sense that we're a company with maybe 100 in-house employees, HR is one person, and everybody is kind of on the same "level" despite being very tribal. What this means is that people are very touchy about undermining one another, which while you may think would work in my favor with the COO/HR situation, really translates to HR getting angry that I'm undermining her micromanagement since my real boss is blase about anything I do. Since she's already a pretty passive aggressive person, any action would be self destructive. This company has an incredibly bizarre culture and I'm not sure how to describe it. All I can continue to do is show up, say huge words I learned on Wikipedia, and continue CCing my project results to every staff head since it's all relevant to everybody.

That said, there's not much I can do to change the situation until my contract is up since it's been apparent that the president and COO don't really appreciate what I do enough to warrant keeping me. Ironic, since every project I've done has redefined some aspect of the business, including completely outlining the territories for our sales team based on travel distance, demographic clusters, and metropolitan indexes and geocoded it all into Google Maps so it can be accessed from any device. VP of sales met me yesterday and thought I was working black magic.

I have enough personal recommendations at this company from department heads that I should have no issue with other employment. I've already applied to another market research position for a medical company located just down the street. Worst case scenario, I don't get continued employment. Best case is that I do, and somewhere in the middle I end up casually looking for jobs while I learn more code and Google Analytics and hang out with my father and dog in Portland for a while.

The situation really sucks because I love the work I do and my coworkers a lot-- the kinds of people that are friends you hang out with every lunch and not just coworkers-- but I get paid absolutely garbage, among other things.


Pleads posted:

Given the pay rates I've experienced in this industry, unclothed unless you bring your own :(

I'll go nude. Does it pay more than $10/hour? :madmax:

Keetron
Sep 26, 2008

Check out my enormous testicles in my TFLC log!

While in no way my misery reaches that of Sundae, it hit a new low the last few days.
Imagine that you are a Project manager and there is a project in need with a group down the hall. Imagine that the client asks you, basically begs you, to step in and salvage what is possible so not to many heads will roll. This will be done by assisting / supporting / steering the current PM who is running that project, this guy is working for your same company, he is a direct colleague for the vendor he and you both work for. On top of this, add the realization that if said project fails, future business with this client is unclear. Anyone in this scenario would jump in and get the work done. Okee, maybe not anyone, but most people.

Well, you bet our mutual boss was not amused. Over the last two days I was told the following:
- You have to work with people by instead of telling them what to do, ask nicely. These people are offshore and never worked with you so you have to behave.
- Traveling offshore to meet your peers is not planned or budgeted for.
- Learn to respect your seniors in this company
- You are immature for saying you do not care about seniority
- You cannot talk to a senior like that!
- What the client told you that what was agreed you could and should do, this is not true and you cannot work that way
- Run everything you do past three management layers for approval

My response to that last one was: "If you don't like what I do, feel free to transfer me to another client"
The client is now foaming at the mouth when I informed him that I could not follow his instructions and told me to just ignore my senior management and salvage the project.
The colleague PM called in sick since last Wednesday.

The best part is that our unit came under investigation by the head office for managing to piss off the client and under delivering.

Tony Montana
Aug 6, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
So what the gently caress did you say and do to get spoken to like that?

Epoxy Bulletin
Sep 7, 2009

delikpate that thing!
Getting pretty drat sick of our supplier promising "morning delivery" before rolling in at 11:59 every single time. Cannot wait for the other guys who understand the earth business day to get the contract.

Shrieking Muppet
Jul 16, 2006
So today HR informed us that our healthcare plan is being changed for the Coming year. Our premiums are going up 10% and were getting a $250 deductible. Apparently this was done because costs are going up and it wouldn't be fair to expect the company to pay for it in order to maintain profitability. Meanwhile the CEO and executives got a combined 30million in bonuses and we haven't gotten raises in 5 years. Guess it's time to get into high gear for job hunting!

Dr. Arbitrary
Mar 15, 2006

Bleak Gremlin

Ezekiel_980 posted:

So today HR informed us that our healthcare plan is being changed for the Coming year. Our premiums are going up 10% and were getting a $250 deductible. Apparently this was done because costs are going up and it wouldn't be fair to expect the company to pay for it in order to maintain profitability. Meanwhile the CEO and executives got a combined 30million in bonuses and we haven't gotten raises in 5 years. Guess it's time to get into high gear for job hunting!

Can you find out what the before and after employer contribution is? If it's gone up then they might actually be sorta telling the truth. If it's gone down, they cut your pay in order to give out some bonuses.

defectivemonkey
Jun 5, 2012

Dr. Arbitrary posted:

Can you find out what the before and after employer contribution is? If it's gone up then they might actually be sorta telling the truth. If it's gone down, they cut your pay in order to give out some bonuses.

Best-case scenario here is that they gave out some bonuses that could have been used to offset rising insurance costs, though.

Keetron
Sep 26, 2008

Check out my enormous testicles in my TFLC log!

Tony Montana posted:

So what the gently caress did you say and do to get spoken to like that?

He is some hot shot senior manager 5000 miles away and I am a local hire working at the client side, never been to the India head office. Also, I don't give a poo poo about high level senior people trying to fit me in a mold and getting in my way of doing a proper job for the client.

Basically the timeline is like this:

- Project goes bad on multiple levels
- Client and program ask me to fix stuff as I have proven to them in the past that I can and will pull something through. It is promised that this is aligned with my head office and I am in the lead now
- I tell the offshore people of this project that they need to change quite a few things as their current deliverables suck, the reports they spew forth are incomprehensible and ugly and even basic stuff like grammar is failing.
- Offshore complains to hot shot manager I am being rude after they refuse to make changes
- hot shot manager calls me to tell me I need to cool down and ask nicely as I cannot boss my seniors around
- I tell him that client asked me to fix stuff so I will fix stuff and if they want failure that is fine but I will not be involved. Also I ask him to align with the client if he disagrees and then come back to me instead of giving me a call and give me conflicting orders.
- he then tells me that I need to behave as there is more senior staff (as in job level) already on the project and that I can in no way take the lead
- So I respond with that I do not care about seniority in general and especially not if it fails to deliver in projects
- He get's royally pissed and start arguing with me that I should learn to work in an Indian company, I get riled up myself and waste time explaining that I was hired as a local to please the customer so that is what I will do and he will have to deal with whatever other aspects of personality that brings with it.
- After a bit of this, I tell him that there is nothing else to discuss so I would prefer not to waste any more time. So unless he has anything new to say, I would prefer to continue with my day.

I get pissed off again writing this all down.
So I figured, you know what, let's try and sooth the brewing unrest and send a friendly email. Ah well, things went downhill from there but at least I remained polite in my writing.

Basically: Client asks me to do A, head office tells me to ignore A and do B while pretending to client I do A. I tell head office to gently caress off.

Tony Montana
Aug 6, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
You told a senior manager from your firm that you'd had enough of talking to him and you're terminating the conversation?

Did you not comprehend a drat thing in the last page about noone gives a poo poo about your amazing abilities and all that matters is the way you handle other people? Particularly as a PM, you're not an engineer, you're not technical staff, you're a people handler.

Xandu
Feb 19, 2006


It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am.
Also never trust the client to tell you what's contractually required from your side or that they sorted it out with your company, even if they were right in this case.

But man I'm so sympathetic here

quote:

- I tell the offshore people of this project that they need to change quite a few things as their current deliverables suck, the reports they spew forth are incomprehensible and ugly and even basic stuff like grammar is failing.

Except in my case they're subcontractord, not my head office, so I can be aggressive and rude.

TouchyMcFeely
Aug 21, 2006

High five! Hell yeah!

Tony Montana posted:

You told a senior manager from your firm that you'd had enough of talking to him and you're terminating the conversation?

Did you not comprehend a drat thing in the last page about noone gives a poo poo about your amazing abilities and all that matters is the way you handle other people? Particularly as a PM, you're not an engineer, you're not technical staff, you're a people handler.

His job is to complete the project for the client to the best of his abilities not pander to dip poo poo managers half a world away or technical staff that is screwing up the project.

He is acting in the best interest of the client and any manger with any sense would recognize that is the case.

Could he have acted a bit more diplomatic as opposed to walking in big dick swinging? Maybe. We're only getting one side of the story. But with what's been presented he's dealing with lazy or incompetent workers who are ensuring that a client will never work with their company again and a manager who is more interested in maintaining the status quo than supporting changes that would ensure the project a success.

Just because you're a subordinate doesn't mean you can't tell a manager to pound sand, especially when you're in a customer facing position. In fact, people in those positions should always be acting in a customer's best interest even when it conflicts with what management wants.

Rodent Mortician
Mar 17, 2009

SQUEAK.
I just spent a month investigating a new scheduling software and found one that does everything that we need and that anyone in the office could learn to use pretty much just by logging in. This is rejected because it is too much, and we're keeping the old POS that we built, which is foundering, and which only two people in the entire division can work (one of whom is retiring, and the other of whom is me).

Tony Montana
Aug 6, 2005

by FactsAreUseless

TouchyMcFeely posted:

His job is to complete the project for the client to the best of his abilities not pander to dip poo poo managers half a world away or technical staff that is screwing up the project.

No. His job is to work for and support his employer. Usually junior employees come with these high minded notions of what they are here to do and what their responsibilities are. You are here to help us achieve our goals. You are not here for the client, you are not here for your own career progression.. you are here to help us and that means in every context.

This is why 'team player' is a such a big deal in the corporate landscape. When you come into the hallowed halls of the world's largest companies you will get to see under the covers. You will be shown behind the curtain. We need people that can do what we need, while maintaining our external image, while also understanding how we need to be better. We don't care if you have all the answers if you're uppity about it, we have the resources to hire a thousand consultants smarter than you that have all the answers too. We just want you to be our man, be a company man, and be on our team at all times.

Nothing you've come up with we don't already know, we just need you on the ground to keep the ball rolling. This is the essence of corporate life, that's certainly been my experience. Does that mean you become a mindless yes-man? Not at all, you learn how to professionally and intelligently demonstrate your understanding and your ideas to the people that matter. But as soon as you're putting distance between yourself and the firm, as soon as you see yourself as the 'brilliant rouge' you are a liability and there are simply safer people to trust the corporation's endless riches to.

Threadkiller Dog
Jun 9, 2010

TouchyMcFeely posted:

Just because you're a subordinate doesn't mean you can't tell a manager to pound sand, especially when you're in a customer facing position. In fact, people in those positions should always be acting in a customer's best interest even when it conflicts with what management wants.

I agree with this.

I have zero formal authority over anyone anywhere in this company (a subsidiary), but our one and only multi billion dollar contract almost lives and dies by some of the reports our unit defines, compiles and publishes. Pretty much everyone does everything we ask or tell them to do due to this - including some otherwise pretty obnoxious VP:s.

A while back a small reporting snafu meant our client instantly witheld some $10M and beat us bloody for a week, and everyone of course shat themselves. Our client is pretty severe on a good day. We love our client so much. :downs:

Threadkiller Dog fucked around with this message at 15:54 on Feb 7, 2014

TouchyMcFeely
Aug 21, 2006

High five! Hell yeah!

Tony Montana posted:

No. His job is to work for and support his employer. Usually junior employees come with these high minded notions of what they are here to do and what their responsibilities are. You are here to help us achieve our goals. You are not here for the client, you are not here for your own career progression.. you are here to help us and that means in every context.

This is why 'team player' is a such a big deal in the corporate landscape. When you come into the hallowed halls of the world's largest companies you will get to see under the covers. You will be shown behind the curtain. We need people that can do what we need, while maintaining our external image, while also understanding how we need to be better. We don't care if you have all the answers if you're uppity about it, we have the resources to hire a thousand consultants smarter than you that have all the answers too. We just want you to be our man, be a company man, and be on our team at all times.

Nothing you've come up with we don't already know, we just need you on the ground to keep the ball rolling. This is the essence of corporate life, that's certainly been my experience. Does that mean you become a mindless yes-man? Not at all, you learn how to professionally and intelligently demonstrate your understanding and your ideas to the people that matter. But as soon as you're putting distance between yourself and the firm, as soon as you see yourself as the 'brilliant rouge' you are a liability and there are simply safer people to trust the corporation's endless riches to.

Your view of people, corporations and corporate responsibility to clients and employees is so far off base I'm not even sure where to start.

Let's start at the most basic question - Why does a company exist? Answer: To provide a service or product for a customer.

How does a company grow? By fulfilling the needs of the clients so that they will 1)return for further products or services in the future and 2)act as an advocate for the company within their circle of influence.

Companies exist because of and for customers. Full stop. Companies don't exist because of or for managers, CEOs, board of directors or stock holders. Only because of and for customers.

Front line, client facing employees are the best informed on whether or not their company is fulfilling its responsibilities to its clients and can have the greatest impact on whether a client walks away from their experience with your company completely satisfied or complete pissed off. Not management. Managements responsibility is to support those client facing employees so that the clients will come back and make sure they all have jobs in the future. Management points the boat, front line employees determine whether or not you get there.

You seem to have this notion that all employees are parts in a machine that are easily replaceable and that the further up the chain you are the more magical the turds that fall out of your mouth are. I really hope you're not in a position of power or authority because your management and leadership philosophy is absolutely horrid.

Tony Montana
Aug 6, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Ok dude, you keep living in your world and I'll live in mine. I've already given you insight into who I am and where I come from.

I just think you and your like have an over-inflated sense of self-worth, the classic gen-Y syndrome.

Turnquiet
Oct 24, 2002

My friend is an eloquent speaker.

The trick is to walk the middle path, know deep down this is all bullshit but keep with the pomp and circumstance, but use cracks in the corporate facade to apply superior customer-facing solutions. It sucks we need to walk a fine line to keep our families out of poverty, but hey, :911:.

Tony Montana
Aug 6, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Right, exactly. That's what being a team player is. I don't go to bed with the mission statement under my pillow but I do know what side my bread is buttered on.

Knowing this requires some experience and maturity, this might explain why that old dude that can't use computers is still around and being paid a packet. You can always hire some intern for peanuts to do that poo poo for him.

Halloween Jack
Sep 12, 2003
I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!
Our most important yearly event is next Friday and I'm in charge of it. This means things like "changing the size of your portrait on the website" aren't going to get done in the time it takes for you to walk to my desk and reiterate how very important it is that I immediately fulfill the request you just emailed me. Remember when you came to me while I was on crutches to bring me a form that had to be signed that day? And that you didn't care that the only person who could sign it was on clinical service on the other side of the medical center? And that you knew I'd have to hobble it there and back to get it signed for you when you could have done that yourself? I'm just biding time until one of us is gone.

Halloween Jack fucked around with this message at 17:09 on Feb 7, 2014

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Solkanar512
Dec 28, 2006

by the sex ghost

Tony Montana posted:

Ok dude, you keep living in your world and I'll live in mine. I've already given you insight into who I am and where I come from.

I just think you and your like have an over-inflated sense of self-worth, the classic gen-Y syndrome.

I'm not sure how you're linking "companies exist to serve customers" and "stupid gen-Ys think they're all high and mighty".

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