r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Roseo: Jun 1, 2000; Forum Veteran

My bf has �trapped� me into our relationship

quote:

I (24F) have been in a relationship with my bf (27M) for 6 years. Two years ago my grandparents passed, leaving me a small inheritance and the option to purchase their home. I purchased their home using my savings and used the inheritance towards renovating. I gave my bf the option to buy in as I felt obligated too, however he declined so we agreed on him paying half the mortgage which he was more than happy with - he earns $60 an hour, the mortgage is $120 a week.

I�ve paid for some �big� renos, like a new kitchen and wall removal but I�ve tried to do as much DIY as possible. My partner has no interest in helping besides carrying the odd pain tin for me here and there. My next DIY project is flooring.

Last week I came home from work to find my bf at the front door, he greeted me and told me had a surprise. He blindfolded me and walked me inside. He paid to have flooring professionally installed as a gift, he also posted it on FB as a bit of a humble brag about how good of a bf he is. I was shocked but grateful.

Today I received an email from him, it was a 10k invoice for the flooring. I was confused and called him. He told me this is what I owed him for the flooring, he will no longer be paying $60 a week I can take that out of the 13k and he�d like at least $300 payments a week. I mentioned the fb post and about it being a gift, but he ignored me. I got home on my lunch break and spoke to him about it in person, he said he felt I was being distant and was going to leave him, but because I own him this money and can�t get a loan to pay back in full I�ll have to stay with him until I pay it off?

I�m so hurt and confused. He is right in the fact that I don�t want to get a loan, as he suggested the idea a few weeks ago but the interest I would pay back wasn�t worth it. I will struggle to pay him back $300 a week. To make matters worst the flooring is the opposite to what I was looking at and he knows it.

Where do I go from here?

# ? Sep 26, 2022 06:59

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 30, 2024 20:27

tinytort: Jun 10, 2013; Super healthy, super cheap

Bobulus posted:

The weird thing is that the kid is supposed to be named after a deceased grandfather. Very low odds the grandfather spelled his name that way. Wouldn't it be more reasonable to spell it the way grandpa did?

Yeah, unless Grandpa was from China or something and 'Zachary' was the closest romanisation of his name, that is absolutely not how he would have spelled it.

Why the gently caress is this guy so hung up on spelling the name in a completely bizarre way?

<read update>

Ah. He just wants Grandpa's name but Cooler and to hell with it looking stupid.

Roseo posted:

My bf has “trapped” me into our relationship

If he doesn't want to pay an hour's worth of work a week towards the mortgage, then the correct choice is to discuss that first. Not surprise her with "haha, now you owe me money instead" and a new floor that is not only not what she wanted but literally not something she asked for.

If this is the hill he wants to die on, she can turn the tables again and hand him an eviction notice and tell him to gtfo.

# ? Sep 26, 2022 07:14

DeeplyConcerned: Apr 29, 2008; I can fit 3 whole bud light cans now, ask me how!

Roseo posted:

My bf has �trapped� me into our relationship

hahahaha

"I bought $10,000 worth of poo poo you don't want because I'm insecure and thought you were going to leave me"

Holy poo poo if she is even considering paying this dude back -- hello! welcome to doormat city!

# ? Sep 26, 2022 07:15

Roseo: Jun 1, 2000; Forum Veteran

DeeplyConcerned posted:

hahahaha

"I bought $10,000 worth of poo poo you don't want because I'm insecure and thought you were going to leave me"

Holy poo poo if she is even considering paying this dude back -- hello! welcome to doormat city!

The best bit is that he's so insecure that he emailed her this invoice instead of having a discussion about it

# ? Sep 26, 2022 08:00

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

I feel like it might work in a culture with a strong emphasis on moral debt. Like in Japan where neighbors can get trapped in an endless gift giving loop because someone bought as slightly too expensive gift.

Op might have too much of a giri towards their boyfriend that gave her an expensive gift she didn�t ask for or want.

# ? Sep 26, 2022 08:13

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

AITA for ordering the same thing at a restaurant every time?

quote:

There is a Mexican restaurant in my town that I go to frequently, and I always order loaded nachos. It�s a lot of food so I normally don�t order anything else. The staff knows who I am and what I order. They don�t even ask me anymore because I�ve been there so many times. I decided to eat at the Mexican restaurant today, and there was a new server. I told her that I always get loaded nachos and that�s it. She puts my order in and the cook gets mad. The cook told her to tell me that I need to order something else because he is tired of making loaded nachos. I told the server that I�m not going to order something else and she didn�t care, but the cook did. After she told the cook that I refuse to order something different, he called me rude and said I was being difficult.

Edit: this story is true. I don�t know what the cook�s problem is and loaded nachos are on the menu. I email the manager already.

Update: the manger saw my email and he isn�t happy with the cook. He reassured me that he�ll write up the cook for his unprofessional behavior.

# ? Sep 26, 2022 08:42

CommissarMega: Nov 18, 2008; THUNDERDOME LOSER

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for ordering the same thing at a restaurant every time?

Unless this was some kind of highfalutin' 5 Michelin Star restaurant, why should the cook care? if anything, they ought to be grateful for a customer who doesn't keep them on their toes all the time.

# ? Sep 26, 2022 08:57

Bug Squash: Mar 18, 2009

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for ordering the same thing at a restaurant every time?

It sounds like the cook is unreasonable, but they are actually all in purgatory and this guy is the only customer, just asking for loaded nachos over and over.

# ? Sep 26, 2022 09:11

Rudager: Apr 29, 2008

CommissarMega posted:

Unless this was some kind of highfalutin' 5 Michelin Star restaurant, why should the cook care? if anything, they ought to be grateful for a customer who doesn't keep them on their toes all the time.

There�s got to be more too it, my bet is that he has weird specific pain in the rear end poo poo he doesn�t want on it or added too it.

The bit I can�t figure out is how the chef knows exactly who he is from his order alone, presumably mixed in with other peoples orders who do order different things

EDIT: or the restaurant is circling the drain and he�s like the only customer they ever get and the chefs frustrated and bailing anyway.

Rudager fucked around with this message at 10:00 on Sep 26, 2022

# ? Sep 26, 2022 09:56

Barudak: May 7, 2007

I mean a woman I knew always ordered a mcdonalds hamburger bun with only cheese inside and like, everyone at the McDonald's in her hometown got briefed on her so I can see it sticking out enough you figure out who it is.

# ? Sep 26, 2022 11:01

Rudager: Apr 29, 2008

Barudak posted:

I mean a woman I knew always ordered a mcdonalds hamburger bun with only cheese inside and like, everyone at the McDonald's in her hometown got briefed on her so I can see it sticking out enough you figure out who it is.

Yeah that�s what I mean though, if she just ordered a standard cheeseburger with no changes no-one would remember her or care, which goes back to my theory there�s way more to his order than just �loaded nachos� exactly as they are from the menu.

# ? Sep 26, 2022 11:12

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Rudager posted:

Yeah that�s what I mean though, if she just ordered a standard cheeseburger with no changes no-one would remember her or care, which goes back to my theory there�s way more to his order than just �loaded nachos� exactly as they are from the menu.

Im hoping that loaded nachos aren't even on the menu and this dude is in a Oaxacan restaurant.

# ? Sep 26, 2022 11:19

keep punching joe: Jan 22, 2006; Die Satan!

If I was tired of making loaded nachos I would probably quit my job as the chef in a Mexican restaurant.

# ? Sep 26, 2022 11:31

LawfulWaffle: Mar 11, 2014; Well, that aligns with the vibes I was getting. Which was, like, "normal" kinda vibes.

Roseo posted:

My bf has �trapped� me into our relationship

Where do I go from here?

Ma�am, you go to a lawyer. Screenshot the fb post saying it was a gift and take his stupid emailed invoice, then tell you ex-bf that he has 30 days to leave and not to contact you again, especially about the floors. Only one person hosed up here, and you got nice flooring out of it.

# ? Sep 26, 2022 12:00

Dr. Stab: Sep 12, 2010; 👨🏻‍⚕️🩺🔪🙀😱🙀

RV dad should send the aunt an invoice for the work done.

# ? Sep 26, 2022 12:04

Ravenfood: Nov 4, 2011

trickybiscuits posted:

A whole ago I read that something like one- third of all medical procedures that have to be redone are because the patient refused to follow medical advice for recovery (it accompanied a story about a teenager who, a few days after having an eye operation and being told to spend the next week quietly resting at home, went on a roller coaster). If you have any other stories like this I'm all ears.

They are all as boring as the story of a woman just refusing to consider that a bad thing might happen to her despite all attempts to prevent it. I just happened to be really frustrated by that one and the comment about Americans not understanding "if...then" statements hit home.

# ? Sep 26, 2022 12:06

Johnny Truant: Jul 22, 2008

Breetai posted:

me: hr my job in the halloween factory involves actual halloween decorations and im being shunned by the community please dont sing dragula
hr: dead i am the one
me, sobbing: please please there are bats in my cubicle
my boss via speakerphone: conquering the worm

30 some odd pages been but this is fuckin gold lmfao

# ? Sep 26, 2022 12:14

Mr. Grapes!: Feb 12, 2007; Mr. who?

BrigadierSensible posted:

Forgive the rudeness of these questions:

Does she know that all of you, (including her now husband), saw her self-harm? Did he, or indeed anyone else, ever talk to her about it? As in why would she do such a thing? Is she still friends with the ladies who so brazenly tried to tempt/scandalize her now husband with their boobs?

She found out eventually that we all knew. We were all pretty pissed about it because we had to carry her up half a mountain to get to a road and then walk a few miles before we reached any sort of assistance. The area was rather remote.

From what I know she has zero history of self-harming or any other self-harming behavior like this. Rather than a habit it was probably an impulsive spur of the moment move to get her and her husband out of the situation while still looking like One of The Good Guys.

She is not friends with the topless ladies and never warmed to them, we suspect because of the boobs and all. None of us had known her for more than a week before this happened. Over the next few months she exhibited a lot of paranoid and controlling behavior, and would not let him go out anywhere without bringing her, but she never wanted to actually go anywhere so we rarely saw my friend again.

We live in separate cities, and I haven't actually seen him in person since she demanded he leave that Very Dangerous City (no) because she eventually refused to leave the house without him escorting her, even to walk to the corner store or whatever. I still play online games with him but only when she is not home because she will get quite angry if she finds him Doing Stuff - it doesn't really seem to matter what he does. From what I know she's forced him to quit his baseball team, quit his bar trivia, quit developing his videogame, quit writing his novel, and pretty much all other activities that don't revolve around her. He's kind of wayyyyy out of her league so maybe this was her way of locking him down. Worked, I guess. Sad story. Miss the guy.

# ? Sep 26, 2022 12:14

Mr. Grapes!: Feb 12, 2007; Mr. who?

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for ordering the same thing at a restaurant every time?

When I was in university I would always go eat at this German place that was kind of like the soup Nazi, except the accents were a lot more authentically Nazi sounding.

On their menu they had this really cheap sandwich + soup 'special' every day. You'd get a little sandwich, amazing sauerkraut on the side, and whatever was leftover from yesterday's soup, which was usually even better than today's soup. I was broke, it was $2, and I lived with a bunch of loving filthy savages in which I could never even find a place in the kitchen not covered in dirty dishes. I'd get the special pretty much every weekday right after class.

Every loving day they would give me poo poo about ordering the 'cheapskate special' and lambast me for not spending enough. I always gave a buck as a tip which was 50% , but still, they'd whine. I'd bitch right back at them and tell them to erase if off the loving menu if they don't want people to order it, I'm doing them a favor by just paying for leftovers anyway.

Over months of me putting up with their bullshit I think I earned a grudging respect, and new customers would be amused/horrified as I'd walk in there and curse up a storm about getting these goddamn soup-nazis to make my loving lunch, and they'd be screaming right back from the kitchen about needing to chase off drug addled slackers like myself. Good times.

# ? Sep 26, 2022 12:26

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

I don't think there's any reason to pretend it's nacho guy's fault somehow

# ? Sep 26, 2022 13:10

Inexplicable Humblebrag: Sep 20, 2003

it's nacho fault

# ? Sep 26, 2022 13:36

teen witch: Oct 9, 2012

AITA for learning Spanish despite my boyfriends wishes?

quote:

My boyfriend (m32) and I (f30) have been living together for 3 years now, together for 4.

He, Sam, always have known that I dreamt of living in one of the Southern Cone countries and he knows that I would�ve moved if I hadn�t met him.

I picked up Spanish last year and somehow he completely ignored it until he heard me today on a video chat with my language partner. I think he realised how much progress I made and I wasn�t just playing around.

He doesn�t want to move from the states and I accept that and I accepted that if I�m with him, we make those decisions together. However, I strongly believe that just because I don�t have plans to do something now doesn�t mean that it will never happen and who knows what may happen in the future and at least I will be prepared. No harm in learning, right?

That�s not how he saw it. He blew up at me, telling me that I should stop that we�re never moving so what�s the point of learning it. He said that he felt that I would leave and it makes him feel insecure and I should just drop it. I told him that no, it means nothing and I explained my reasoning and he accused me of planning to leave and not thinking we will always be together.

He told his family about this and I�ve had phone calls all day telling me that I should respect his wishes, calling me an rear end in a top hat and heartless bitch.

I thought I did nothing wrong but I�m seriously questioning myself now. AITA for carrying on with learning?

The comments are 90 percent NTAs, the rest being ESH for some brainwormed reason or YTA for �not being true to yourself�

however, Reddit has this labeled as

Which is starting to make me think if this has happened elsewhere�

# ? Sep 26, 2022 14:48

Dr. Stab: Sep 12, 2010; 👨🏻‍⚕️🩺🔪🙀😱🙀

AITA counts upvotes, not comments, when determining who the rear end in a top hat is.

# ? Sep 26, 2022 14:52

teen witch: Oct 9, 2012

Dr. Stab posted:

AITA counts upvotes, not comments, when determining who the rear end in a top hat is.

thank you for explaining, that sounds stupider than imaginable

E: this is the top comment

quote:

YWBTA for not moving to your dream country for a guy who flipped out because you learned another language, and then sent his family after you

I bet this cool trick hasn�t been abused before! At least our morally and literally broken rear end website doesn�t have this wack rear end system. Just other wack rear end issues

teen witch fucked around with this message at 14:55 on Sep 26, 2022

# ? Sep 26, 2022 14:52

SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL: Feb 21, 2006; Holy Moly! DARKSEID IS!

Biplane posted:

Bottlebricking is dumb lib poo poo.

Tell that to the community in Mat�nwa, Haiti (thank you goons!) who are using that technique to build housing/shelter. Sorry for the derail but gently caress off with this.

# ? Sep 26, 2022 14:54

William Henry Hairytaint: Oct 29, 2011

Barudak posted:

I mean a woman I knew always ordered a mcdonalds hamburger bun with only cheese inside and like, everyone at the McDonald's in her hometown got briefed on her so I can see it sticking out enough you figure out who it is.

This is actually an off menu item, the Sad McCheese.

# ? Sep 26, 2022 15:02

Pomme de Terror: Sep 30, 2021; Well, one of us must have killed him!

AITA For giving my son's dog to his ex wife.

quote:

To begin with I love my son with all my heart. But he blew up his marriage by cheating and has moved back home.

I F55 have three children. My oldest is my daughter 30, then my twins 25MF.

My oldest just got married to a wonderful man. My younger daughter is going to grad school overseas and that leaves my son. Let's call him Carlos.

He has always been a handful. He got married when he was 20. His ex wife had a three year old daughter whom I love and no matter what I am her grandmother. They had a child together, my other grandchild. He is two.

COVID caused a lot of stress in his life and he works in a fly in fly out camp job. He is gone for two weeks at a time. Then home for two weeks. He makes very good money and enjoys spending it. Maybe a little bit too much.

Carlos cheated on his wife with a coworker. I am not judging him. I am not perfect. But he chose to leave his wife and children. And move back home. It doesn't really make sense for him to rent an apartment or something for the 12 days a month he is home. So I allowed it. But he decided to be an rear end, in my opinion, and bring his dog with him.

My grandbabies love this dog. But he is trying to punish his ex for telling him to leave.

It is a beautiful border collie and it is the perfect dog for their home. Huge yard, lots of walking trails nearby, even an off leash park only a ten minute drive away.

I live in an apartment downtown. I am allowed a dog but if I were to have one it would be something sedate and non shedding like a Maltese.

I swear I tried watching this dog. But my son is irresponsible. He doesn't walk him much. He doesn't brush the dog. He is just holding on to the dog to lever his way into his ex's life.

The last straw was this last time off work. He was away for two weeks, Nd then came home for one day before flying off to the United States for a vacation with his new girlfriend.

So I called my DIL, checked that she wanted the pup back, she almost cried with joy, packed up everything that belonged to the dog and took him over there. My grandchildren were ecstatic.

My son just came home for three days before he has to leave for work and asked where his dog is. I told him the truth.

He is calling me an rear end in a top hat for giving away his pet. Also because I said that if he tried to go get the dog and bring it back he was not welcome in my home.

AITA?

# ? Sep 26, 2022 15:15

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

Why do people even post ones like that? "Am I the rear end in a top hat for giving the family dog to my daughter-in-law and young grandchildren who live on a big farm instead of my douchebag cheating son who crashes on my couch and is away from home for weeks at a time?"

You're the rear end in a top hat for either "karma farming" or being stupid enough to ask this question

# ? Sep 26, 2022 15:26

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Mr. Grapes! posted:

She found out eventually that we all knew. We were all pretty pissed about it because we had to carry her up half a mountain to get to a road and then walk a few miles before we reached any sort of assistance. The area was rather remote.

From what I know she has zero history of self-harming or any other self-harming behavior like this. Rather than a habit it was probably an impulsive spur of the moment move to get her and her husband out of the situation while still looking like One of The Good Guys.

She is not friends with the topless ladies and never warmed to them, we suspect because of the boobs and all. None of us had known her for more than a week before this happened. Over the next few months she exhibited a lot of paranoid and controlling behavior, and would not let him go out anywhere without bringing her, but she never wanted to actually go anywhere so we rarely saw my friend again.

We live in separate cities, and I haven't actually seen him in person since she demanded he leave that Very Dangerous City (no) because she eventually refused to leave the house without him escorting her, even to walk to the corner store or whatever. I still play online games with him but only when she is not home because she will get quite angry if she finds him Doing Stuff - it doesn't really seem to matter what he does. From what I know she's forced him to quit his baseball team, quit his bar trivia, quit developing his videogame, quit writing his novel, and pretty much all other activities that don't revolve around her. He's kind of wayyyyy out of her league so maybe this was her way of locking him down. Worked, I guess. Sad story. Miss the guy.

This is some weird abuse and control poo poo. She�s just a fuckin� psycho.

William Henry Hairytaint posted:

This is actually an off menu item, the Sad McCheese.

I�ll have the hamburger bun animal style.

# ? Sep 26, 2022 15:31

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

AITA for calling my fiance selfish for refusing to let my dad walk me down the aisle?

quote:

My fiance (26m) & I (23f) have been together for over 2 years. I don't have a big family, just my dad and my older sister. My dad has always been a single parent devoting his life for me and my sister and working over 14+ jobs in the past 6 years to provide for us. I love my dad and we have the best relationship anyone could hope for. However, my fiance does not get along with him. They have different opinions on so many things. For example, my fiance one time suggested to my dad to sell the truck he has because it's been sitting there for years. My dad got offended because this is my grandfather's truck and he has no monrg to get it fixed. Another example, my fiance got mad at my dad at a party for talking about his struggle after my mom's death and accused him of collecting symapthy points but dad said that he always talks about it casually.

Their recent disagreement was when my dad refused to give my fiance money to contribute to the wedding. My fiance complained but I said that my dad isn't obligated to pay for the wedding.

Yesterday. my fiance told me to look for "someone else" to walk me down the aisle and asked why. He said that my dad refused to help with the wedding and he should be grateful he's still invited. I got upset and argued that for one, my dad refused to contribute because he has no money, he can not offord to pay. And two, just like any bride I want my dad to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day. He threw a fit saying that I was trying to ruin his mood and get him upset on our wedding day but I called him selfish for wabting to take away the moment I always dreamed of (sounds clich� but I'm like that) over his disagreements with dad. It's not fair given the ,e and my dad are on great terms. He yelled at me for calling him selfish although it's our wedding not just mine and said that I clearly don't give a hoot if he's uncomfortable then walked out.

He's fuming and is insisting I'm being innconsiderate and projecting on him when I called him selfish.

AITA for telling my dad I�ve lost respect for him and I can�t play happy family with him and his new kids?

quote:

My (23M) parents (43M, 45F) divorced when I was 8, I stayed with my dad full time and went to visit my mom two weekends a month. My dad stayed single for all my childhood and adolescence.

I met Josh (34M) 1.5 years ago, because he was my boss at the company, I started working half time while finishing college (same field) well Josh and I started getting along so well and hanging out, I even met his wife, Mary (30F) a couple of times. Well, for my 22nd birthday I decided to throw a party and invite Josh and Mary to come, my dad was there too of course and I introduced them to him, they shook hands, shared some info and that was it, that was their whole interaction during my birthday party, like two weeks later Josh came to me saying that my dad was amazing and a fun dude and then let me know that they (he and his wife) had some beers with him and from that point they became �best friends�, my dad would constantly go to their house on weekends to have some grill or whatever (They also invited me but I never went).

Three months ago, Josh came to me to tell me that my dad was a bastard and a home wrecker who seduced his wife to cheat on him and got her pregnant, I called my dad to know what was going on and he told me that Mary left Josh to be with my dad because they had an affair and she was pregnant and also told me that they love each other, I found out that they�ve been having an affair for a year, almost immediately after they met for the first time, They plan to get married after the twin babies (boy and girl) are born and Mary�s divorce is finalized.

Not gonna lie, I feel guilty because If I hadn�t invited Mary and Josh, they had never met my dad and this wouldn�t have happened, and I can�t look at my dad the same way I did, he went after a married woman who has a ten years old boy, I know he is a great dad to me, I love him very much and I know he will be a great step dad and dad to this new children but I can�t just look at him the same way I did, I still talk to him but try to keep my distance as much as I can.

He invited me to their baby shower, but I said I couldn�t go because I didn�t feel comfortable he asked me why so I said: �Dad, to be honest, I can�t look at you the same way, you went after a married woman with a child, you got her pregnant and now wants to act like nothing has happened� He told me this doesn�t affect me any way and that his love life shouldn�t be my problem but I had to quit the job since Josh became insufferable.

My mom and friends say that I should support my dad because I don�t know what Josh�s and Mary�s relationship was like which is true, I don�t, but I can�t help but feel guilty and sorry for Josh.

Having an affair with your kid's boss's wife should have its own name for WTFness.

# ? Sep 26, 2022 15:32

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Whatever it is, Dad's got it.

# ? Sep 26, 2022 15:34

teen witch: Oct 9, 2012

teen witch posted:

thank you for explaining, that sounds stupider than imaginable

E: this is the top comment

I bet this cool trick hasn�t been abused before! At least our morally and literally broken rear end website doesn�t have this wack rear end system. Just other wack rear end issues

Ahahaha

Maybe the system is broken????

# ? Sep 26, 2022 15:35

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Dr. Stab posted:

AITA counts upvotes, not comments, when determining who the rear end in a top hat is.

Wait, doesn't the site automatically count mentions of YTA/NTA/etc for that, is that just not true? Or do you mean it counts upvotes of each mention of those classifications? Just a straight count of each type would be the reasonable way to do it, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised if reddit doesn't do it that way.

e: misunderstood the clarifications at first, that's wild

Captain Hygiene fucked around with this message at 15:45 on Sep 26, 2022

# ? Sep 26, 2022 15:42

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

AITA for asking my sister to donate her dog's jogging stroller to my kids instead of an animal shelter?

quote:

My (26f) sister Sasha (31f) and I are very different people. We aren't BFFs but we love each other. Sasha doesn't have any kids and I have 3 (6f, 2.5m, 1.5m).

Sasha got a dog after graduating college. Right off the bat, she treated it more like a human than a dog. She took it on road trips, just the two of them. Once she even dressed it up for Halloween and took it trick or treating alongside my kids. I worried she was replacing real human interaction with a dog. She also did some search and rescue with it which maybe gave her a stronger than usual attachment to this dog.

A year ago, Sasha bought a jogging stroller so the dog could still go on walks with her. It was old by this time and had arthritis. Now let me clarify, this was not some cheap bargain basement stroller, this thing was quality. I looked it up online and it cost $400! Seemed an insane amount to spend on an accessory for a dog but she was all excited, so I kept my mouth shut. I also noticed it was advertised as for pets or kids.

I'd dreaded the day this dog died because of how over attached Sasha was. Well two days ago it happened and sure enough she was devastated. I felt terrible for her. But I'll admit, I also started thinking about that jogging stroller which would now sit around gathering dust.

I've been struggling to lose the baby weight from my youngest and I could just see myself jogging with the two youngest in the stroller and big sis biking alongside. And this stroller is way nicer than anything hubby and I could afford at the moment. I'm a SAHM with three kids. Hubster is an amazing dad but he's struggling to find his professional calling, so we aren't in nearly as strong a financial position right now as Sasha, who has no kids and a good job. Sasha has always been generous to her niece and nephews so I thought maybe now that she doesn't need it anymore, she might want to loan or even give them the stroller.

I called yesterday and first said how sorry I was about her dog. Then I asked what she was going to do with the stroller. She said she was thinking about donating it to an animal shelter that specializes in disabled dogs. I then said basically everything I said in the last paragraph and asked if she would donate it to my kids instead. There was a long pause, so I thought she was considering. But then she went off on me and called me some hurtful things like a b-word and a vulture, then hung up on me.

Here's why I think I may be the AH. In hindsight, "since you don't need it anymore" was poor phrasing and may have made me sound insensitive to her loss. Also, I probably should have given her more time to grieve before asking.

I've never had a dog so I'll admit I can't truly understand what Sasha's going through. But from my POV, I had my kids' best interests at heart. I don't think I'm the AH for asking the question. But am I the AH for when and how I asked or did Sasha overreact out of grief?

sorry for your "loss", yadda yadda, anyway can i have some free poo poo

# ? Sep 26, 2022 15:43

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

quote:

Hubster

YTA

# ? Sep 26, 2022 15:48

The_Franz: Aug 8, 2003

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for ordering the same thing at a restaurant every time?

Is this guy the restaurant's only customer? Odds are the cook makes this for other people every day, so what's the problem?

Unless it's some custom, off-the-menu item that's a real pain to make?

# ? Sep 26, 2022 16:04

Runcible Cat: May 28, 2007; Ignoring this post

haveblue posted:

YTA

Yeah, I want to know more about "struggling to find his professional calling" too. Lemme guess, streamer?

# ? Sep 26, 2022 16:09

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

The_Franz posted:

Is this guy the restaurant's only customer? Odds are the cook makes this for other people every day, so what's the problem?

Unless it's some custom, off-the-menu item that's a real pain to make?

you'd think that a cook at a mexican restaurant would have no problem making nachos, really

# ? Sep 26, 2022 16:12

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for calling my fiance selfish for refusing to let my dad walk me down the aisle?

Between this and the 27 year-old who thought he could install flooring on his girlfriend's credit and then bill her, it is reassuring to know that Gen Z dudes have just as many absolute dipshits as the older gens.

quote:

AITA for telling my dad I�ve lost respect for him and I can�t play happy family with him and his new kids?

Having an affair with your kid's boss's wife should have its own name for WTFness.

Not quite on the level of the fake (?) posts where the dad seduces the son's girlfriend, but yeah that's up there. Like even in the most generous allowance for "romance can happen and blossom out of inopportune circumstances and leave victims in its wake, but that doesn't make the romance insincere" bullshit, it's basic empathy to recognize that maybe people close to the initial explosion aren't going to be part of the Christmas Card regardless of whether that's fair or not.

# ? Sep 26, 2022 16:18

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 30, 2024 20:27

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

mind the walrus posted:

Between this and the 27 year-old who thought he could install flooring on his girlfriend's credit and then bill her, it is reassuring to know that Gen Z dudes have just as many absolute dipshits as the older gens.

Not quite on the level of the fake (?) posts where the dad seduces the son's girlfriend, but yeah that's up there. Like even in the most generous allowance for "romance can happen and blossom out of inopportune circumstances and leave victims in its wake, but that doesn't make the romance insincere" bullshit, it's basic empathy to recognize that maybe people close to the initial explosion aren't going to be part of the Christmas Card regardless of whether that's fair or not.

What a narcissist sees, is: but what about my happiness! What about me what about me what about my happiness, you just don't want me to be happy!

# ? Sep 26, 2022 16:41

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

«‹›3575 »